by L. S. Wood
CHAPTER SEVENTY-FOUR
The Decision
Thursday morning came to Ann in a way she had wished it would never have come to her. It was time for her to go. A time to go into a deep soul searching mode of heartfelt seeking and decision making. She had to make up her mind one last time, and seek out the decision of a lifetime for all. She was convinced that the choice she had to make would be the right choice. She was going to make a feast this day. A meal her family would not ever be able to forget. A meal made by her for her family to remember her for a long time to come as one’s life by her. She kept herself busy all day long preparing this special dinner she had in mind for everyone to feast upon and enjoy.
Her mind stayed busy all day long seeking, and then re-seeking the far depths of her soul-searching mind for the right answers. She thought for sure she had to come up with it, and would announce her decision at this very special meal of thanksgiving. She did not quite know how to go about giving the correct answer without sounding very selfish to all of them, but she would work on that during the day. That particular time of the day when she faced everyone, she would have just as well rather have skipped right over it, and gone on with her life like she had just woken up from a bad night of nightmares and dreams and not wanting to tell anyone anything about them.
Ann pranced around the house all day long cleaning everything in sight. She swept the floors twice. She then washed them twice to have something to keep her busy. She went around dusting everything, not once but twice, to make certain she had not miss a single speck of dust or dirt anywhere in the house that might have missed. She moved around quickly while putting back the smallest of trinkets and items not once but at least twice and sometimes three and four times, polishing every one of them as she dusted everything in sight a multitude of times.
Ann didn’t really have to make this crucial decision until the very last second of the day. Her mind kept telling her it was time to go now, and no not to go around every second of every hour debating it with herself ever since Commander Anderson had left her standing all alone on the front piazza. She kept herself extremely active all day long like a little child who had just overdosed on Halloween candy trying to burn off its sugar content of high energy and had become overactive. She ran from room to room like a whirlwind cleaning windows, washing clothes, and cooking everyone’s best holiday meal along with all their special dressings, along with an assortment of different desserts for them to enjoy after the meal.
Everyone knew something was brewing, and all thought the worst of it, even Ann in her decision. Everyone disappeared out of her sight for the day, leaving Ann to herself in the house alone to make the crucial decision of her fate. It would be her choice and her choice alone to make. Everyone had their own ideas about the outcome, and some were not too happy one way or the other about it, especially Ann.
At the close of the day, Ann’s mother and father had brought the children home from a fun-filled day of trout fishing down at the mouth of Mink Brook where the tiny stream flowed quietly from the meadow under the bridge and out into the Connecticut River. They had a string each of fresh caught trout with them as they walked happily through the rear kitchen door and into the house. Ann looked up from checking on the fancy meal cooking in their gas stove oven. She having prepared a wonderful meal of the day for all, the meal of the century, wearing a great big pleasant smile painted wide on her very concerned face. She was well pleased that the girls, her dad and her mom had such a wonderful day out fishing together, and had caught so many wonderful good-sized fish to eat. The children both went on together happily jibber-jabbering about how their grumpy old grandpa had almost fallen into the Mink Brook trying gingerly to balance himself on a fallen branch in order to get a snagged fishing line and hook out from being caught up in a small tree’s branch overhanging the water’s edge.
Ann knew the two girls were in good hands when they were out with their grandparents as she always felt safe with them when she was a small child, and always had a good time with them no matter what they did or did not do.
Both her mother and father knew something was very much amiss the way their two beds in their bedroom looked rearranged and both been changed. Along with the rearrangement of their bedroom, there were two brand new handmade throws made by Ann over weeks past placed upon them. They found them when the two of them went upstairs to change out of their smelly fish clothes, and get dressed for supper. She had rearranged every piece of furniture in the living room three times during the day until she got it right the way she wanted it. Every room in the house including the attached woodshed was spotless and picked up. Not a sliver of sawdust or a wood chip could be seen anywhere, along with all the windows in the house having been washed and glittering clear.
Before them on the table lay waiting a fantastic meal Ann had arrange just so-so, very nicely spread out before them. Some of the hot foods were still on the wood burning stove to keep everything warm until the family could all sit down together at the table to eat and enjoy.
The dining room table looked to have been set for a Thanksgiving dinner they were about to partake in. Fancy linen napkins lay carefully folded underneath her mother’s special silver wear. The dining room table was set with her mother’s best silver tableware, along with her special green glasses she only took out for special occasions, mainly Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Easter. Ann was running around like the Tasmanian devil when her mother and father came back downstairs from changing, as if she was running a restaurant, and she was the only chief, cook, and bottle washer they had in the whole establishment.
“My lord child, what have you been doing all day,” asked Ann’s mother with a tone of deep concern in her voice as she spoke to her busy daughter running around.
“See if Ben is almost done with his chores out in the barn and is ready to eat supper yet will you Daddy?”
Her father quickly turned around, spun on his cane, and went out back to the barn to seek out Ben for dinner.
“Hey there, Ben, have you been in the house all day helping Ann with all those dang chores of hers, and not doing your own?”
“No I haven’t, why?”
“Never mind. Supper is ready hot on the stove, and the table is all set up for us to eat. Ann wants to know how long you are going to be before you are ready to eat.”
“What is the matter with you, Pa? What in the bloody hell is wrong? I can see something in your eyes that you are not telling me.”
“Nothing, nothing is wrong with me, Ben! I think you already know what the matter is with me. I think Ann has gone and made up her damn stubborn mind again, and that is that. I think she has decided to goes off on that damn mission with that damn Commander Anderson fellow. The whole blasted house is aglow like a freaking Christmas tree at Christmas time, and the danged dining room table has been set up for the likes of a king and his queen to feast upon it. That is what is wrong with me Ben. I think she is a going to be joining Colonel Anderson on his foolish mission back to that stupid damned space station.”
Ben slammed down the bucket of milk he was carrying very hard to the floor of the barn. The milk from the bucket went flying everywhere. “I can’t believe it! Damn it! I just cannot believe it. Damn it, Pa!
She promised! She promised me and the kids she wouldn’t do this to us ever again.” Ben began stomping his booted feet like a mad little child throwing a temper tantrum slamming his feet down running around the barn and screaming at the top of his lungs, all at the same time.
Ann’s father stood there feeling the same pain as what Ben was going through. He felt like joining in with Ben screaming, and stomping his feet wildly, but could not, and did not. When Ben had finally calmed down, and stopped stomping his feet wildly and swearing uncontrollable obscenities aloud about his thoughts, he gently spoke to his father in-law.
“Tell Ann, Pa. Tell her I will be just a minute. Tell her I have to get the smell of th
e barnyard off myself, and then I will be right in, straightaway.”
Ben took a cold shower out in the milk room of the barn to calm his raging nerves and to cool himself down before going into the house to eat with the children. The water stored in and from the big holding tank he had made in the barn was cold as ice, and he almost turned himself a purplish dark blue letting the open hose of very cold spring water flow over him for as long as he could stand it before he passed out from hypothermia. When Ben finally entered the house, he had cooled himself down enough so he would not lose his temper in front the children, her folks, and would talk to Ann in the private of their bedroom later on that night. If best, out on the front porch when the proper opportune time came about what was to happen, but for now. Now they would all enjoy the grand meal she had put together for them.
Ann quickly placed the hot dishes from the woodstove onto the hot placemats on the table when everyone finally sat down to eat. “Mom, please sit yourself down at the table. I can handle getting everything on the table from the stove. What would anyone like to drink?”
“Water please, Ann!” Ann served everyone the drink of their choice, and then set herself down at the far end of the table to eat. She was still full of extremely nervous energy, not having used it all up in all she had done during her busy day.
Ann’s father gave the usual grace before serving dinner, asking the good Lord above to please help rectify all that had to be done to help those left on earth and the needy ones held above in space. Ben just shook his head side to side when he heard his father-in-law ask for the Lord’s help with the recovery of the cosmonauts from the space station. He almost got up from the dinner table to go out back again to the milking room in the barn to soak himself down again under the freezing cold water from the spring because he did not want to make a horrendous scene in front of his two wonderful girls. He did not give a damn if he blew up in front of Ann’s parents or not for they felt the same way as he did. He did have enough self-control and thought of his children for their sake to spare them his faulty lousy feelings towards the damn Russian leaders, and not the Russia people that had caused this whole mess in the first place. He was totally pissed off at his father-in-law. The nerve of that old fart anyway, asking the good Lord for his help in saving the Russian cosmonauts in space. Help from the good Lord above, bullshit, he thought. If the good Lord above wanted any of them back down here on Earth, then he should send them a damn rocket to ride them back home in. Why in the hell did she have to go off and volunteer for this mission anyway? Why should she go and risk her own damn life all over again to save any of them? She already did it once, and almost got herself killed in doing it the last time. Ben was totally pissed off at the idea of it all and was having a real hard time trying to control his temper even though he didn’t really feel that way about the poor souls still trapped up in outer space. He was angered and did not want to lose the love of his life. Scared to death neither he nor anyone else sitting at the table that day would ever see his lovely Ann again.
“Here comes your turkey, Ma.” Ann’s father passed the platter of turkey to his still very beautiful wife while everyone else picked up something different from the several serving bowls and started passing the food around the table. Ben’s eyes looked red and bloodshot as if he had not slept a wink all night long for an entire week, as he sat quietly biting at his tongue at the table not wanting, or daring to say a word afraid he would lose his building up angered temper.
After Ann’s father had returned to the farmhouse, he had let loose again with all the built up emotions he had stored up inside himself. He carried on like a lunatic, profusely crying in the shower, even getting some strong soap in his eyes while in the flow of the cold water, and did not give a damn that it burnt like hell because he was going through mental anguish anyway.
No matter how hard he tried, he could not stop his hard crying while thinking about how lonely he and the children would be without her for those two or three long lonely weeks again. What if something was to go drastically wrong with this mission and none of them ever would to see her lovely being again. The thought of it drove him crazy, and the burning soap in his eyes did not mean a damn thing to him, except that Ann would say no to Commander Anderson, and now it was too late to change her stupid ego trip ways of doing whatever she wanted to do in the first place, and not give a hoot about anyone else.
Ben had had the hardest time trying not to cry at the dining room table, every time he looked over at his loving wife, Ann, or when glancing across the table at their two beautiful little girls. His heart just could not stand the pain any longer. He would want to die if she did, but knew he could not because of the girls. He felt like standing up right then right there. He wanted to grab the blasted table and flip the blasted thing upside down right in front of her. He was blind minded mad at her. He was turning his great concern for Ann into the most hostile anger he had ever felt before not knowing what or how to handle it any longer, except that he had to remain under control at least while the children were around, and then when they were alone together, he would let her have it with both barrels of his anger.
God he wished he knew what to do next and how to handle it better. He guessed it was time to turn to the Lord above for some help of his very own. The critical decision must lie in her hands, and her hands alone to make, for he knew what ever her decision was. He quietly said a prayer to himself asking for help from the Lord above for him and the girls. Would he support her choice, or would he not? If he left her and the children now, he would not have to worry for he would not know if anything went wrong, or put up with the hurt if something bad were to happen to her, or could he do that to his girls? Of course, he could not. He would always be there for those two little angels no matter what, and now he had to be there for her as well, even if he didn’t like what she was about to say to them. Ben held his composure very well all the while at the dining room table trying to smile every once in a great while. He complimented Ann on a job well done with the spectacular meal she served to them.
He knew better than to ask the silly question about what the special occasion must be for such a grand meal in the middle of the week with no holidays anywhere in sight that he could possibly think of. The adults at the table were quiet while eating their meals just looking around at one another with silent questions all over their faces not asked. Except for the children who acted up as usual, when they sat down to eat by picking on one another. It looked like everyone was busy enjoying themselves with the great meal prepared before them. Having little to talk about, but that was not the case. No one wanted to open up the first complex issue, squirming loosely around in their timid concerned minds for everyone else sitting at the table, including Ann herself. She had never seen them so quiet, and no one seemed to care if the girls were loud or not. She knew they knew, and they did not want to be the first to talk, and neither did she.
“What has happened to your eyes Ben? They are as red as a fire truck?” Ann asked Ben, being very concerned for her husband’s wellbeing.
“Nothing sweetheart, I just got a bunch of hay chaff, a little bit of wood chips and sawdust bedding into them, and soap from the quick shower I took out in the barn, that’s all.”
“They will be better off after a good night’s sleep.”
Ben’s father-in-law took a quick glance over and peeked up at Ben‘s eyes, and then quickly went back to his eating. He knew very well the real truth behind his swollen eyes, and it sure wasn’t any hay chaff or sawdust specks in them.
After a most fantastic banquet several very lovely dessert dishes were served, one specially made for everyone at the table. Ann shooed everyone away from the dining room table including her mother out of the kitchen. She became an instant whirlwind again cleaning up the kitchen like the Tasmanian devil in action all over again. She flew from the table to the sink, the stove, then to the cabinets in the pantry. She washed the dishes, scrubbed th
e pots and pans, along with the silverware in record time trying to burn up the excess energy she had in trying to make the decision come to fruition with the right choice. She was quite sure what she would do next, but after looking at her family sitting at the kitchen table next to her made the choice all that much harder to tell them. Every person in the world and in outer space deserved to be with the ones they all loved. Ann was with hers now, but for how long would she be gone, or ever return?
The children along with their grandparents got up from the table moaning and groaning a little bit with discomfort after eating way too much of the fine food prepared for them, and they found their way into the parlor. Ben thanked his lovely wife for such a great meal, and proceeded out the rear kitchen door to the back porch. He sat at the swinging lounge, swinging back and forth looking out into the outer space of nothingness and daydreaming. He sat staring out at the rolling beauty of fields and mountains of New Hampshire across the Connecticut River Valley.
In the far off distance, he could see Mount Washington standing majestically tall. No one uses the old cog railway anymore, ever since all those lives were lost on her peak that dreaded day when all of the neutron creatures appeared. Every time someone tried to climb or scale her majestic heights, they would all perish become an instant unintelligent zombie. With all that said, no one dared climb her majestic beauty any more. Even the bravest in mountain climbers would not climb any more mountains, for fear they shall all perish or become simple minded.
Ann watched Ben out through the kitchen window by the sink, as Ben stopped his swinging. He suddenly crossed his legs, putting his right elbow down on his left knee, and then wrested his chin in his right hand. He looked like the thinker statue at the science center in Providence, Rhode Island. He must be the most understanding caring man in the world, she thought to herself or at least he had been. He was definitely one of the most dedicated fathers around because so many had run away from their responsibilities after the big neutron invasion, while only a few remained faithful to their fatherly and husbandly duties.