Conniver winced as he hobbled away. “You haven’t heard the last of this.”
The truth of his words made her sigh. She would be answering to Lord Lucifer before long. Then she stopped in her tracks. She had known anger and hatred so well that they were second nature, but something different had motivated her to tear into Conniver. A much stronger passion she couldn’t quite put her finger on had fueled her outburst. She cared—powerfully, with an intensity that shook her, yet filled her with a happy satisfaction. Although it was unnerving, she liked it, and grinned in spite of herself.
She sat in the cave, her new residence of late. “Grief and Sorrow! It’s all so confusing. I haven’t done any evil since Poisonous came to Earth.” She smiled. “And I like it. By my once wicked soul, I like it and I love Poisonous! Demons are not supposed to do those things, but I would rather live in The Light than in the darkness of hatred.”
She yawned, emotionally exhausted by emotions humans took for granted. She went to her cave, and fell sound asleep—something she had never done before.
Twenty
Sunday, September 28th
The room stared blankly back at her. She had counted the spots on the wall several times, and had lost count. The ache in her groin had subsided, but still stubbornly nagged her as a dull pain: not bad, but annoying. On the one hand, she wanted to get out of her bed, but on the other, she stubbornly refused to budge, and remained locked away in her room.
The whole ordeal embarrassed her to where she didn’t want to talk to anyone, or to have anyone see her. “Good grief: my colleagues treated me badly, and with total disdain. I don’t understand it.” The dull ache in her midsection once again reminded her that some evil angels had treated her cruelly, even as a demon. As she lay there, she heard a loud rumbling noise. She put her hands on her stomach and moaned in discomfort. Her midsection felt like it had a hole in it, and her head pounded like a jackhammer.
She heard Evie come in the house, and decided to go see her. At least it might take her mind off her aching belly and splitting headache. She walked slowly towards the living room, and saw Evie putting away her Bible. Evie turned and saw her before she could get lose her nerve and run back to her bedroom.
“Hi, Poisonous! Are you all right? You look like you’re in pain. Is something wrong?
At first, she avoided eye contact with her. Finally she spoke, mostly because the pain in her midsection and head were becoming unbearable and she was starting to shake with weakness. Fear overtook her. She thought for sure that she was going to shrivel and die, but her pride would not let her admit it. Finally, she got up the nerve. “Evie, I’m so hungry, my stomach hurts. My head hurts so badly I can hardly endure it. I feel like I’m getting weaker by the moment.”
She frowned and pounded on the table. “Curse this human body! I’m hungry and can do nothing about it. I know I’m going to the Second Death ultimately, but I don’t want to get there by dying of hunger.”
Evie just laughed.
Poisonous frowned, not appreciating being the butt of Evie’s private joke. “Hey! I realize I tormented you, and have treated you badly, but you don’t have to ridicule me when I’m in pain.” Tears started coming out of Poisonous’ eyes, which very much surprised her. She quickly looked away, embarrassed and upset.
“Oh, honey, I’m sorry,” Evie Said. “I wasn’t making fun of you. I know you need to eat. I’m just surprised you’ve lasted this long. You haven’t eaten a thing since you came back from the hospital.”
She turned quickly back at Evie. “You belittle me. Stop at once or I’ll...” She glared at her with all the fury she could muster, but softened her expression when she realized she was in no position to do anything to Evie. Moreover, she didn’t want to. “I don’t really feel like eating right now. I’ve been humiliated; they hurt me...” Her words trailed off.
“You were raped, Poisonous. You need to admit it to yourself.”
She eyed Evie warily. “I suppose I must, but only if you’ll promise not to laugh at me.”
Evie just smiled sadly. “Of course not! I would never make fun of rape. It’s a very traumatic and violent thing to go through, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I’ll pray that you recover physically... and emotionally. It’s difficult enough to learn to be human, never mind adding rape into the equation.”
She looked at Evie. She screwed up her courage. “Th-thank you.” She immediately looked away, embarrassed.
“You know, Poisonous, you really must eat. I know you’re not much in the mood, but you need your strength. You’re in a human body, whether you want to face that fact or not.”
“Would you mind making me something to eat? I... ” She stared away, embarrassed at her lack of ability and more at her helplessness. “I…I don’t know how to cook.”
“Of course, sweetie. No problem. When one likes to eat, one learns to cook to satisfy their hunger and tastes. What would you like to eat?”
Her face warmed and turned crimson. She felt even more embarrassed at being in a position of such weakness; but she had to swallow her pride, because she would starve to death otherwise. She spoke quietly. “I’m not even sure of what I want. I’ve never eaten here in the condo much. Since you’re being kind to me, I’ll eat whatever you want to make.”
Evie walked over to her, and put her hand on her shoulder. Poisonous cringed and pulled away. Then she relented, managing a small smile. “I’m sorry. I’m not used to warmth and affection yet. I’m still learning to be able to participate in it without being uncomfortable. I…I guess I sort of overreacted.”
“Don’t worry.” Evie held her hands now. “You are a dark spirit in a young woman’s body and you now know the truth about our Father’s love for you. You’re very confused, because you no longer have the capacity to be as evil as you used to be.”
“What do you mean, I can’t be evil...I can be evil I just—well I used to be motivated to do evil.”
“But you just no longer have the desire—am I right?”
She couldn’t think of anything to say. She just lowered her head in defeat, and answered, “Yes, Evie. I want to learn how to love, and not hate.”
Evie hugged her, and she didn’t even try to resist.
Evie said, “You know humans are only evil when they listen to the evil suggestions in their hearts. You already know those suggestions. But are they helping you now?”
Her face softened a little. She blinked and stammered, “No. They aren’t.” She had to think on that one for a while. She went and lay down on the couch, hands behind her head, and legs crossed. “I am indeed human even though I’m still a demon, and although I could influence humans I’m not as interested in doing it as I once was.” She turned on her side and faced Evie. “In fact, I now know that other demons might now try to influence me, even against my will, to destroy myself!
“They could try. Only, I’m praying for you. No demons will come anywhere near you unless you invite them.”
“Even VD or Snakebite?” She sat up now. Her eyes pooled with tears.
“No, sweetie. Jesus gave VD permission to visit you. The Spirit of The Light has changed snakebite and you. I have a feeling they both are going to learn to love the Lamb as well.”
Poisonous couldn’t believe her ears. “VD... Snakebite…me... love the Lamb?” She smiled faintly. “That’s still hard for me to believe: how can we love the Lamb? We have made it our life’s ambition to fight against Him.”
Evie sat down next to her. “Yes. But you’re learning to be different, and you’re in a place to give your heart to Him.”
She couldn’t believe her ears. “What? Give my heart to Him? I can’t do that... can I?” Realization hit her, and she slumped over, letting out a long, slow sigh. “You’re right. I’m in a human body, which means I’m stuck with what comes with it. I’m going to have to get used to it, whether I like it or not.” Then she turned away from Evie. “But I still don’t believe the Lamb loves me and wants me to give my hear
t to Him.”
* * *
Poisonous curled up on the couch, deep in thought when Evie arrived home from the weekly dinner at her parents’ house.
Evie walked over and sat down next to her. “Hi. You look so solemn. What’s on your mind?”
Poisonous startled at first, then managed a shy smile. “Evie, is it possible for me to like someone... even if they’re as evil as I once was?”
“You mean VD?”
“Well, she came by last night to visit, and I realize now, that I missed her. Is there something wrong with me? Or VD, for that matter?”
Evie looked directly in her eyes. “You mean to tell me that VD came by last night, and I didn’t even notice it? That’s very peculiar. Lately, I can sense her presence very well, and I’m sure I would have noticed if she were here. She must be changing into a nice person.”
Poisonous had to think of how she could explain this. “That’s just it, Evie. She’s changing. It’s strange. I have never known any demon to miss someone, not even me. I’ve never missed VD before, either. It might be because Lord Yehovah won’t allow her to tempt me to do any evil. But I was happy to see her.”
A smile slowly spread on Evie’s face. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you like each other. In fact I’m not surprised, because she’s often told me how much she misses you.”
“Really? She misses me?” She let the words sink in. “It’s odd. Nothing ever made me sad before. For that matter, nothing really made me happy before, either. I never thought of my old partner as a friend. She and I were just soldiers fighting for the same cause.”
“You’ll find,” said Evie, “that persons are capable of caring and doing nice things for each other, even if they both happen to be demons.”
Poisonous thought about that for a moment. “Well, I must admit that VD really likes me. I imagine other demons see it too, and are probably starting to wonder about her.”
After several moments, Evie spoke. “Here’s what I would do if I were you. Take it slowly with your old friend. She’s probably just as scared of her new feelings as you are.”
“Yes, I’ve noticed that. I’m feeling many things right now. This being in a human body is rather frustrating.”
“Oh, honey…don’t I know. When I first arrived, I didn’t know how to feel about many things. It’s overwhelming enough learning how to be human. But processing the feelings that race around in your heart is a very complex and difficult process.”
Poisonous smiled in spite of herself “I’m grateful for your understanding, Evie. You’re helping me a lot. This is very difficult for me.”
“I know.”
The phone rang suddenly. Poisonous was near it, so she picked it up.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Poisonous. This is Cydnie. Is it alright if I drop by for a few minutes?”
She stood there in a stunned silence, trying hard to process this unusual request. “Cydnie, the angel? You’ve always fought against me. I’m surprised you want to come to the condo. Not only that, but since when do you call before you visit the earth and humans? Don’t you usually just go directly to your destination, and appear?” she asked.
“I could, but it’s more fun this way. I’m kind of enjoying acting like my human friends. I’m even going to drive over there in a car Mighty Warrior Security owns.”
“Oka-a-ay,” she said, still bewildered at such odd angelic behavior. “Why would an angel or a demon, for that matter, do such a silly thing?
“May I talk to Evie?” Cydnie asked.
“Um, hold on one moment.” She handed the phone to Evie.
“Sure, honey. We’ll be here; we’ll see you when you get here,” Evie pressed the ‘END’ button and hung up the phone.
Ten minutes later, there was a knock on the door. Evie opened the door.
Cydnie giggled. “Hi... may I come in?”
Evie snorted, then laughed aloud. “Why, yes, Ms. McGuire... please join us, won’t you? We’re honored to have you pay us a visit.”
Cydnie walked in. “Hey. I really like this. Being an angel is awesome, of course, but sometimes one needs to ‘stop and smell the roses.’ I really enjoying slowing down and taking in your human experience.”
“Hi Cydnie,” Poisonous said.
“Hey, Poisonous. How’s everything going so far? Are you adjusting?”
“My goodness…” No sooner had she said it than a guilty look darkened her face, followed by a glance at Cydnie, then at Evie, eyes wide open. “Did I just say what I thought I did?”
“Yes you did,” Evie replied. “And don’t ever be ashamed to say that. You may have once been evil, but you now have the ability now to do good things.”
She blinked back tears, but managed a weak smile, in spite of herself. Her countenance grew sad. “Me…?” She shook her head “I have a really hard time believing that. You both know where I’ve come from, and I’m not used to being anything but evil.”
Cydnie put her arm on her, rubbing her shoulder gently. “Sweetie, you have a lot to learn about humanity and angels, including the fact that you are and were created in God’s image, so you have the same capability for good as you do evil. You do remember that you were once Pristine Honor?”
She hadn’t heard that name in ages. The tears rolled down her face in earnest. “It’s…” She paused, choking back the emotion. “It’s just that Pristine Honor seems like someone who died such a long time ago. I don’t believe that person even exists anymore.”
Cydnie held her hands. “She does, Poisonous… let The Lamb help you find her again.”
She stared wide-eyed at Cydnie, incredulous. She can’t be talking about me. “The Lamb? What would He want with someone evil like me? I certainly can’t be of any use to Him.”
Evie’s gently put her hand on her shoulders. “You must have heard that The Lamb paid the price for the unrighteous, not the righteous. If you were righteous to begin with, he would not have had to die on that cross at Calvary.”
The pain in her softening heart grew stronger. She looked at Evie, then Cydnie, sadly. “Thank you both for being so nice to me. I really appreciate that you care about me. I guess I just need some time to sort out all this information. You understand, don’t you?” She paused, exhaling slowly, looking at Evie. “No matter what VD and I did to you, you managed to find your way back to Lord Yehovah. No matter how difficult and painful we made it for you, it’s apparent that the will of Lord Yehovah will be thwarted by no one, not even me.”
She held Evie and Cydnie’s hands in earnest, shaking with emotion. “I’m making the same journey you did, Evie, yet in a strange way, I find it comforting.”
Evie answered. “We understand, honey, we really do.” Evie gave her a kiss on the forehead, and let her go to her room.
The affection didn’t bother her this time. Having others care about you was a treasure, and it didn’t even hurt. She smiled through her tears, in spite of herself.
“We need to pray for her, fervently.” Evie looked at the door to Poisonous’ room. “I hope that she can be spared all that I went through. It would be good to see her inherit the joy of the Lord early in her human experience.”
Cydnie agreed. They both held hands and did deep spiritual battle.
“…and Lord, while I am thinking about it, I pray that you would arrest VD and Snakebite, and bring even them to repentance. I am slowly, but surely becoming convinced that anyone can repent, even demons. You know our ways, and you know all things, and I am confident that you will see what you started come to completion.”
She closed the prayer with an ‘Amen’ and Cydnie agreed.
A joy filled Evie that made her want to walk on the ceiling. “Oh Cydnie…wouldn’t it be a wonderful thing if both of those who once tormented me and my sister and Snakebite were to be worshipping the Lord with us? The very thought fills me with a joy I can’t even begin to express.”
Cydnie gave her a long, sisterly hug. “Honey, I can’t wait, and I b
elieve neither of us will wait in vain.” Cydnie smiled and turned to leave. “I’ll be driving the car back to the garage before I report back to New Jerusalem. I’ll be available by cell phone if you need me, even if I’m at home.”
She grinned back. “You got it.” She waved as her ‘human’ angel friend walked out of sight.
* * *
Poisonous walked into her bedroom, wiping away the tears in her eyes. VD, as if on cue, sat in the chair across from her bed. “I don’t know how to deal with this, VD. The thought of Lord Yehovah and The Lamb loving me is... well, it’s more than I can take.” She sat right next to VD. “Old partner, how can the Holy Ones love me, or any of us for that matter?”
VD shrugged. “Poisonous…you really are my friend. I see it more clearly now. I just beat up another demon because I love you.”
Poisonous let those words sink in. “Thank you. It makes me feel good to hear those words. “VD—” She stopped mid-sentence, her eyebrows furrowing. “Okay…that name just won’t do anymore. You need to have a nicer name when you are here with me. How about ‘Veronica?’”
VD stood in stunned silence for a few moments. “You know, Poisonous, I think I like it.”
“Good. Then it’s settled. You’re now to be called ‘Veronica’.”
She took up her previous train of thought. “You know, Veronica, I have a strong feeling that both of our hearts are being changed. If you can change, then so can I.”
“How am I changing? Please tell me, Poisonous. I really need to know, because whatever is happening to me is rather scary, although I think I’m glad it is. You must admit that this feels nice... unusual, but nice. I think your heart is finding tenderness. It’s even beginning to show in your face. Take heart, my sister; you are beginning a battle you can win. Evie and Cydnie believe in me, in spite of myself, so I believe in you.”
Poisonous: A Visit To Earth (DC Angels Book 2) Page 24