Landslide

by David Menon

  ‘It was that car that was after us’ Gary pleaded. ‘What the fuck could I do?’

  ‘Yeah, okay, okay, I’ll let you off’ said Terry in a voice that was trying to sound calm whilst looking all around him for the car that had been in hot pursuit. ‘Where the fuck did he go anyway?’

  ‘I don’t know’ said Gary.

  ‘Well he sped off some fucking where’ said Terry impatiently. He was also looking all around them but with more knowledge than his little friend beside him.

  ‘But who was he and what the fuck did he want?’

  ‘How the fuck should I know?’ Terry blasted back, although he was being rather more economical with the truth than Gary deserved. There were three men in the other car and he could’ve sworn he recognised one of them as Bernie Connelly who’d once been one of the most notorious gangsters in the northwest and who Terry himself had worked for. But recent reports suggested that Connelly had been killed overseas somewhere. Could those reports be wrong? He must know that Terry is now working for the man who took over all of Connelly’s ‘business interests’ in Connelly’s absence. That’s why he was chasing after him. He wanted him to talk and Terry now wanted to get the hell out of there before Connelly came back.

  ‘Should I have slowed down?’ whined Gary. ‘Maybe see what they wanted?’

  ‘Aw sweet Jesus you’re a fucking wanker, Gary! Do you think they were chasing us like that just to talk about the fucking football? They wanted something from us’.

  ‘Do you think it had something to do with what we’ve got in the boot?’ asked Gary pointing to the back of the car.

  ‘We’ve got to get out of here’ said Terry.

  ‘We’re out in the sticks but there’ll be other cars coming along pretty soon I’m sure of it’.

  ‘Shut up! Just shut the fuck up and let me think’.

  ‘What’s the boss going to say?’

  ‘I’ll worry about that later’.

  ‘But what about her in the boot? We can’t just leave her’.

  ‘Developed a conscience all of a sudden?’

  ‘I’m just saying that we can’t just leave her’.

  ‘Well have you got any better fucking ideas? It doesn’t look like the other car is in any fit state to transport our precious cargo and you’ve seen to it that the engine to this one is at least temporarily fucked. Besides, she’s hardly in a position to be offended if we leave her here’.

  ‘We could always plant the body in the boot of the other car before legging it?’

  Terry was amazed and turned to Gary. ‘Do you know what? Today must be the day of the year that you come up with a decent suggestion. Come on, let’s see to it’.

  They got out of the car and walked straight into a trap. The car that had been following them appeared almost out of nowhere and came screeching to a halt beside them. Two men in balaclavas surrounded them pointing loaded handguns at their faces. They made them drop their guns and hold their hands on top of each other on the top of their heads. Gary was so frightened he could barely stand up. He’d only done this to get some extra cash. A bit of driving on the dodgy side so his girlfriend could go around the Trafford centre and spend away to her heart’s content on herself and their five kids. Lorraine wasn’t a bad woman as such. But life was all about shopping and having kids as far as she was concerned and she’d made it clear from the start that paying the electric and the gas and the rent was all down to Gary and had nothing to do with her. She chased credit like a heat seeking missile and if she was blacklisted somewhere she’d keep trying dozens of other places until someone was willing to give her a line and she didn’t care about the interest rate. And she was fat, man. God, he had to let her guide him in these days because he could never find it by himself. But she was the mother of his kids and he loved her in his own way. So when Gary had gone after this job it had been about looking after Lorraine and their kids. He certainly hadn’t counted on having to carry a body in the boot. And he hadn’t counted on getting so nervous behind the wheel that he forgot to check for oncoming traffic before turning left into another road. Now they were in the shit. Now they were in deep bloody shit. The back door of the car that was parked so close to them opened and a smartly dressed man in his fifties got out. Terry felt a chill go right through his veins. It was Connelly. He was still alive.

  ‘Hello, Terry’ said Bernie Connolly, cheerfully.

  Terry hated that kind of look his old boss used. It was usually just before he enacted revenge on someone or used violence to make some kind of point or other. Terry didn’t like this. He didn’t like this at all. This wasn’t going to end in a good way and however it did Terry would be on the carpet of either his new boss or, more likely, Bernie Connelly.

  ‘You’re not looking at a ghost, my friend’ said Connelly, almost reading Terry’s mind. ‘As the saying goes rumours of my demise have been grossly exaggerated. Or some shit like that’.

  ‘You’re looking well, boss’.

  ‘You mean, for a dead man? That’s true. But let’s remind ourselves of what a dead man looks like’.

  Terry swung his head round just in time to see Gary get his head blown off on the other side of the car. Some of the blood and particles of his brain splayed out across the roof of the car and even found their way as far as Terry’s head.

  ‘He had five kids, boss’ said Terry in an almost whisper of a voice. Then his worries turned to what was going to happen next. What did Connelly have in store for him?

  ‘Well he’s so weak they’ll be better off without him’ said Connelly. ‘Give his wife a chance to meet a real man’. He stepped up close to Terry and spoke right into his terrified face. ‘Not questioning any of my actions are you, Terry?’

  ‘No, boss, no, of course I’m not, I wouldn’t do that, boss, not to you, I just wouldn’t do it, I just wouldn’t’.

  ‘Yeah, yeah, don’t go over the top’ said Connelly who was loving the look of absolute fear in Terry’s eyes. ‘Well I think we’d better go before someone alerts the cops’.

  ‘What about the driver of the other car, boss?’

  ‘She looks like she’s been out of it the whole time’ answered Connelly, peering over to where June Hawkins car had gone into the ditch. ‘No point in dragging some poor stranger into our business. And I mean, I don’t go around wantonly killing people, Terry. That would make me a pretty unthinking kind of villain, don’t you think?’

  ‘But where are we going, boss?’ Terry pleaded anxiously as Connelly’s two hoods dragged him over to the car.

  ‘Just somewhere we can have a little chat’ he said, lightly. ‘Nothing more than that’.

  LANDSLIDE TWO

  Waking up from a hangover can go one of two ways. It was rare for Barton to have a hangover these days but when he did it usually involved his son Toby jumping all over him and making him feel a hundred times worse. He was going to remind Toby of it when he got older and started to discover alcohol for himself and the effects it can have on you when you over indulge in it.

  Then there was the other sort of waking up from a hangover.

  It was when you can tell there’s a smile on your face and you don’t want to move. You just want to luxuriate in the moment and make it last just that little bit longer. You want to carry on taking in the scent of someone who’d come along as a complete surprise and made you feel good about yourself for the first time in a long while.

  But Toby should at least be trying to come in and jump all over him.

  Barton opened his eyes. He was facing the window and the early morning sun was rising sending an aura of light through the curtains like it always did. He looked at the time on his phone that was on the bedside table. It was 6.16. His alarm was due to go off at 6.30 as usual. He still had fourteen glorious minutes to snooze the night off.

  And yet he didn’t.

  He leaned over and saw the other side of the bed was empty. Where was Rita? He remembered them going for dinner in a little Italian place on Deansgate in Ma
nchester and he remembered the excitement he’d felt when she’d agreed to come back to his place. He remembered the time they’d spent in his bed and how bloody good it had all been.

  But where was Toby?

  He turned back towards the door which was slightly open. He could just about make out the voices of both Rita and Toby coming up from the kitchen. But where was Brendan, their live-in housekeeper and male nanny? He got out of bed and put his dressing robe on. He went downstairs to find Rita and Toby getting on like a house on fire in the kitchen. But wait a second. This wasn’t right. He’d only met her last night. He didn’t know if this was going to go anywhere and he certainly didn’t want Toby to get attached to Rita when he didn’t know if he was going to get attached to her himself. In any case she looked too much like his late wife for her to be wandering around the kitchen as if she owned it. It was weird. During the night when he was inside her it didn’t seem to matter. But now it did.

  ‘Good morning!’ Rita greeted as Barton walked into the kitchen. She was wearing one of his shirts. ‘I took this out of your wardrobe. I hope you don’t mind?’

  ‘Daddy!’

  ‘Hey, mate!’

  Barton swept his son up in his arms and kissed him. Rita started to explain to a none too pleased looking Barton that she thought she’d take some time to get to know his son after he’d followed her down stairs.

  ‘Rita is making me breakfast’ Toby announced.

  ‘Yes, I can see’ said Barton who was looking round at the bread and eggs and other breakfast related items. ‘But where’s Brendan?’

  ‘I told him to go back to bed’ said Rita. ‘I said that I’d see to things this morning’.

  ‘Really?’ said Barton who then turned back to his son. ‘Mate, would you do me a favour? Go into the living room and watch your breakfast telly stuff. I’ll be through in a minute but first I want to have a quick chat with Rita’.

  Toby marched off cheerfully, still in his pyjamas, without any idea of what was going on with the adults around him but looking forward to breakfast being cooked for him by his new friend.

  ‘Have I done the wrong thing?’ asked Rita, innocently.

  ‘Rita, I’ve hardly known you five minutes and this morning you’re all over my son and you’ve told my housekeeper to go back to bed’.

  ‘Well after the lovely time we had last night I didn’t think you’d mind’ she said, indignantly. But she was determined that pride wasn’t going to come before a fall this time.

  ‘No, you don’t get it’ said Barton who was feeling both nervous and afraid that he’d hurt her feelings. And it had been such a great night so that’s the last thing he wanted. He didn’t want to come across as a typical Northern arrogant, uncaring bastard. He didn’t want to come across as a user. But this was awkward. This was really awkward. Rita was standing there looking as if she’d been betrayed. ‘We did have a lovely time last night. It was wonderful in fact. But that was between us, between you and me’.

  ‘And that doesn’t include getting to know your son’.

  ‘Don’t say it like that’.

  ‘Like what?’

  ‘Rita, I’m a single parent. My absolute first priority is to protect my son. I can’t let him get to know someone when I’ve only just met them and have no idea where it’s all going to go. It’s just early days, Rita. That’s all I’m saying’.

  ‘I got carried away’ said Rita, biting her lip.

  ‘It’s alright’ said Jeff who then took her in his arms and held her. ‘It’s okay’.

  ‘I shouldn’t have sent Brendan back up to bed like that as if he was my employee’.

  ‘I’m sure he’ll get over it’.

  ‘Full marks to you though for having a male nanny. That’s very modern, Mr. Barton’.

  ‘Brendan is a great guy and he and Toby are very close. It takes a lot of worry out of my mind knowing that Toby is being well taken care of’.

  ‘I’ll bet it does’ said Rita. ‘By the way, did you know he had a guy stay over last night? I bumped into him on the upstairs landing. Gave me quite a shock to be honest’.

  ‘That’ll be Jaime’ said Barton. ‘He’s Brendan’s new boyfriend’.

  ‘And you let him stay over?’

  ‘Well this is Brendan’s home and if he was a girl I’d let her have her boyfriend stay over so long as they were discreet where Toby is concerned. I don’t see any need to be any different just because Brendan is a gay man’

  ‘Well again that’s very liberal’.

  ‘Look, my brother is gay and my deputy at work is gay. None of it is an issue for me’.

  ‘What about Toby’s Chinese grandparents? That generation is not normally given to liberal values on these matters’.

  ‘They love Brendan and they’re absolutely confident that Toby is in safe hands with him’.

  ‘Well, liberal all round then’ said Rita. ‘But look, I’ll go. I’ll be running late if I don’t go now as it is’.

  ‘I’ll get you a taxi and it’s my shout’.

  ‘You’ll do no such thing’.

  ‘Well I’m not going to be ready to drive you anywhere for a while yet’ said Barton. ‘So let me do this for you’.

  ‘Okay’ said Rita. ‘That would be very nice, thank you’.

  ‘My pleasure’.

  ‘So should I expect a call from you?’ asked Rita, tentatively.

  Barton looked up from dialing the number for the taxi company on his phone. ‘I’ve got your number’.

  They had one of those relationships that a man and a woman sometimes share that’s close but about as far away from intimacy as it could be. Louisa Pilkington and DS Adrian Bradshaw had become best mates after Louisa had gone to work as the civilian research officer in the team of DSI Jeff Barton of which Adrian was a member. But it was more than that. They confided in each other. Adrian was still the only one on the Barton team who knew that Louisa had started off life as a man but had gone through transgender treatment in order to become a woman. And Louisa was the only one on the Barton team who knew that Adrian was bisexual and that one of his affairs with another man had indirectly led to the murder of his wife Penny. Although Louisa was happier about herself than she’d ever been there were still shadows cast across her life by her family who wouldn’t have anything to do with her.

  They talked about the latest show provided by Joe Alexander and his girlfriend Erica-Jane last night and wondered how Joe would be this morning. They also wondered if the boss had been able to cop off with his Chinese friend. But Louisa was feeling down for her own reasons after just splitting from her boyfriend.

  ‘Do you ever regret doing what you did?’ Adrian asked although he immediately wished he’d never asked that question. It was a stupid thing to ask. They were having breakfast in the greasy spoon cafe across the road from the police station where they worked. It was where they came to when one of them needed to talk although Adrian didn’t like to go there too much because of concern for his waistline and because he liked to spend as many early mornings as he could with his three kids before they went off to school. He’d been a widower for several years now and although his Mum was his glorified housekeeper and child minder, he had a close relationship with his kids. His oldest, Tom, was hoping to be going off to university in September and much as Adrian wanted him to study at Manchester so he could carry on living at home, he knew that Tom would want to be flying off on his own course and would probably choose somewhere like Plymouth or Aberdeen just to prove to himself and his father that he could do it on his own. Adrian couldn’t blame him. Tom was a good kid and needed to chart his own path. Or maybe he would surprise his old Dad and opt for a course much closer to home. Anyway, it was Tom’s decision and Adrian knew that despite his close relationship with his son he shouldn’t push it.

  ‘Do I regret spending six months with a dildo planted permanently up my newly made vagina so that it didn’t heal up, no I don’t. Do I regret meeting arseholes like Freddie Hammond, yes I do�
��.

  ‘Sorry’ said Adrian. ‘I realise and understand the distinction. Have you spoken to Freddie?’

  ‘I’ve got nothing left to say to him, Adrian’ Louisa answered in relation to her ex-boyfriend. Both she and Adrian had ordered the full English and Louisa buttered a slice of brown toast before putting a fried egg onto it and placing it back on her plate.

  ‘I thought you and Freddie were really going to go somewhere’ said Adrian who’d met Freddie a couple of times. He was manager of a sportswear shop in Manchester’s Arndale shopping centre. He was fit and seemed decent enough. Until the fucking coward dumped Louisa by bloody text and said that it wasn’t her, it was him. What had actually happened was that he’d taken back up with his former girlfriend who’d persuaded him to give her one more chance.

  ‘So did I’ said Louisa wistfully. ‘I really loved him, Adrian’.

  ‘I know you did, love. But he was beneath you. You deserve better than him’.

  ‘You didn’t say that when I was going out with him’.

  ‘Because I didn’t suspect he’d turn out to be a cunt’.

  ‘I wish you and I fancied each other, Adrian’.

  Adrian smiled. ‘It would sort us both out, wouldn’t it’.

  ‘It sure would’ said Louisa who despite thinking that Adrian was a bloody good looking bloke, definitely the John Mann of the station with all that smouldering sensuality, she just couldn’t think of Adrian in any other way than just a good mate.

  ‘But we don’t’.

  ‘No, we don’t’.

  ‘But at least we’re here for each other’ said Adrian. ‘And I sometimes think that mates are more important. Relationships are difficult when you’re a widower with three kids because the kids have to absolutely always come first. I let that balance slip with the last woman I went out with and I won’t let it happen again even though she was a psycho who wanted to completely take over my life let alone just be a part of it. And of course not all women are like that’.

  They carried on talking whilst finishing off the baked beans, hash browns, sausages, and bacon. They both had mugs of coffee and the coffee was surprisingly good considering the place they were. Nowadays it seemed like even your old greasy spoon cafe invested in a smart machine to get your hot beverage right.