The Sanctuary

by Arika Stone

  “Will you give us a minute?” Val asked Kenneth.

  Kenneth waited for my direction. I nodded and waved him out.

  “Eve, this isn’t me.”

  “Okay, we can bring in more suits then.”

  “No, Eve, this…this isn’t me.” He waved in reference to the pomp and circumstance.

  “It’s only one day.” I got up from the couch and opened the door. “Go with the Dolce suit. It’s a better cut for his frame. And find shoes too.” I walked out of the room, leaving Val behind.

  Three hours later, the best laid plans were laid. I was confident the wedding would go off without a hitch. Everyone proceeded to leave, except for Vicki and my assistant, Sharon.

  Val was sitting on the couch, taking it all in.

  “I need hair and makeup here by eight, and I need the car to be here for an 11:30 pickup. Oh and I need my nails done too.”

  Sharon scribbled down a list.

  “Jodi should be here soon,” Sharon said.

  “Tell her to go home. I don’t feel like training. I want to enjoy my time here.”

  “All right, but you said you wanted the usual.”

  “I did, but I’m tired from the flight.” I yawned. It was only nine-thirty p.m. I plopped down next to Val on the couch.

  Edward approached, bowl in hand. “I prepared your favorite, Eve.” He presented me a bowl of Caesar salad.

  I took the bowl and smelled it. “Thank you, Edward, but the smell is making me nauseous.” I handed it back. “Do we have any hot dogs in the house?”

  “Hot dogs?” Edward gasped. “I do not believe so.”

  “Can you find me some?”

  “No wonder you’ve gained weight. You’re eating junk,” Vicki interjected.

  “All I’ve been craving is a fucking hot dog. Did you know there are no hot dogs in Finland unless I special order them?”

  “Or turkeys,” Val reminded me.

  “That’s right. Or turkeys. We have enough of Rudolph to go around though. Edward, please find me hot dogs. Sharon, I’ll see you tomorrow morning. Have a good night.” I was tired. I leaned my head on Val and extended my legs on the couch.

  “You know,” Vicki said in a whisper, “the way you’ve been acting, the food, the smells, the weight gain, the mood swings…Are you sure you’re not, you know?”

  I shot her a cold glance. “I’m tired, I have jet lag, and I’m hung over from my sleeping pills. I’m hungry for a taste of New York, and I’ve gained weight because I’ve been eating meat again. All I want to do is get changed, eat, and watch TV.”

  I got up from the couch. “I’ll be back. Val, do you mind coming with me for a minute?”

  He followed me past the kitchen and the great room. I opened a panel in the wall and pressed the combination to the bedroom. The walls shifted to the side into seamless pockets, revealing my master suite.

  We stepped inside my bedroom, which had wrap-around floor-to-ceiling windows and a private terrace offering an impressive view of the Manhattan skyline and Central Park South.

  “Eve, why are you with me?”

  I undid my jacket and tossed it to the side. “Because I love you. Why?” I pulled off my pants and top, throwing them alongside the jacket.

  “Your lifestyle is exquisite. People would die for the type of life you lead. Even when we tour, the record company doesn’t offer us such extravagance. And our home in Finland is half the size of your apartment.”

  “So? All of this can go away in an instant. This is all material. It’s insignificant. Would you prefer living here instead of Finland?”

  He approached and wrapped his arms around me. “That’s not what I’m getting at. I had no idea how successful you were until now. Why choose me?”

  “Why not? You’re everything I ever wanted, and I love you.” I pulled away to get a better look at him. “I value our life together more than I value my own possessions. I am willing to give all of this up for you. Do you understand how big of a commitment that is for me?”

  “I want to make sure you’re going to be happy.”

  “Don’t do this to me. If you start doubting us, you’re going to cause me to have doubts.” I began to choke up. What was he doing? “Are you trying to break up with me?”

  “No, Eve, come on. That’s not what I’m saying at all.”

  “Then what are you saying?”

  “I’m not extravagantly rich. I can’t provide the lifestyle you are used to. We’ll be comfortable, but this…this is not what I can provide for you.”

  I turned around and gazed at the beautiful skyline. “For almost two months, I’ve lived with you. Tell me, have I ever complained about where we live, what we do, what you buy me? Don’t you get it? I ran away from this life, a life that provides me with luxurious, tangible goods but can’t provide me with what you can—and that is love. All I have ever searched for in life is love, and I love loving you.”

  I turned to him. “You know what I want more than anything else? To be back home, on our couch listening to you play guitar.”

  “I’m sure if you wanted me to play you could summon a guitar for me.”

  “I could.” I giggled at the thought of my own power. “I love you.” I kissed him.

  “Excuse me, you two love birds.” Vicki stepped inside the bedroom. “Your hot dogs are here, and Vivian called to say she’s dropping by.”

  Hearing the words “hot dogs” and “Vivian” in the same sentence was a dream come true: my oldest friend and food.

  I hurried into the kitchen. “Thank you, Edward.”

  “Anything for you, Eve.”

  “Would you mind calling for pizza too?”

  All eyes shot toward me.

  “Relax, I’m only here three days, and I want to splurge on all the food that I’ve been missing.” I rolled my eyes at them.

  Twenty minutes later, Vivian rang the bell, and I ran to the door to answer it.

  “Viv! Oh my God! I completely forgot you gave birth!” I swooped the baby out of her arms. “What’s her name?”

  We exchanged hugs and kisses. “Her name is Joy.”

  “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

  “Well, I was overseas the last time you were in New York.”

  “And look at those little chubby cheeks. Oh how I want to pinch them.” I walked into the kitchen with Joy in my arms.

  “Aw, she likes you. Look at her smile,” Vivian said.

  “Vivian, this is Val, my fiancé.”

  “I had no idea you were engaged again. Congrats. Let’s see the ring.” She cut Val off before he could even say hello.

  I held up my hand, and both Vivian and Vicki crowded around.

  “She wouldn’t let me inspect it before.” Vicki told Vivian.

  “Oh, will you two stop?” I rolled my eyes and withdrew my hand. I sat down next to Val in the kitchen, placing Joy on the counter in front of me. “You are too cute. You look like your daddy though. But don’t tell mommy. She may get jealous.” Joy made a happy sound, almost as if she understood what I meant. “And she’s smart too. She understands me. She definitely takes after daddy.” I winked at Vivian.

  “I don’t think that happy giggle was about your compliment,” Val said, wrinkling his nose.

  I picked up Joy and sniffed her. “You’re right. And this validates that you really do take after your father.”

  Vivian laughed. “That part is true. Here, let me take her.”

  “I can change her. Sit, relax. Take five from being a mommy.” I got up and placed Joy on my hip to find a diaper and wipes.

  Vivian turned to Val. “So tell me, what do they put in the water in Finland? Because that is not Eve,” she said, pointing at me.

  “Oh, will you stop?” I returned with wipes and a fresh diaper in hand.

  “You wouldn’t pick up a baby before. As a matter of fact, you avoided them like the plague.” Vivian eyed me.

  “So? People change.”

  I could feel all
eyes on me as I changed her. I picked her up, and she began to fuss.

  “She’s hungry. Do you breastfeed or bottle feed?”

  “Bottle. Did you think I would ruin these tits?” Vivian said with a laugh.

  “Do you boil or microwave the formula?” I asked, pulling a bottle from her bag.

  “How do you know about babies?” Vicki questioned.

  “Well, the girls, they all have kids. I watch and learn.”

  “The girls?” Vicki grilled me as if they were the only two friends I was allowed to have.

  “The wives of the band. We get together once a week. I do have a life in Finland. I’m not a tourist anymore.”

  “Why bother? It’s not like you’re going to live there permanently.” Vicki rolled her eyes.

  “What did you think I was going to do? I am engaged. Or did you assume he was going to move here?”

  Both of the women looked dumbfounded. “I don’t get it,” Vicki said. “You wouldn’t do this for Jude.”

  “I didn’t love Jude,” I stated somberly. “I’m considering selling the company.”

  “What? Why?” Vicki asked.

  I looked at Val and then at Joy, who was sitting quietly on my lap. “Because I want to settle down. I want this.”

  Chapter 21

  “Rise and shine, sunshine.”

  I heard my electric blackout blinds moving. The sunlight blasted on my face. I opened one eye. “What time is it?”

  “Come on, up and at ’em. It’s seven a.m.”

  “I don’t have to be up for another hour.” I rolled onto Val, who was also now awake. “Leave me alone, Vicki. I’m tired.” Val and I had been up late last night, fucking underneath the Manhattan sky, and he had completely worn me out. I had no desire to start my day. I pressed the switch to pull the blinds back down.

  “None of that. Get up.” Vicki yanked the covers from me.

  “Whoa, what are you doing?” I asked, annoyed at her, pulling the covers back over my nakedness.

  Val groaned his displeasure. “Vicki, Eve asked you to leave her alone, so kindly do so before I ask you to leave.”

  Vicki ignored his comment and continued on her quest. She shook a box in my face. “Go pee and I’ll leave you alone until the rest of your entourage is here.”

  I eyed her wearily, trying to focus on the box in her hand. “You woke me up to take a pregnancy test? Are you out of your fucking mind? I told you I’m not pregnant.”

  “When did you get it last?”

  “In September. Now leave me alone.”

  “Right, almost three months ago. Take the fucking test.”

  “You haven’t gotten your period in three months?” Val questioned.

  “What is this, the fucking inquisition? I have an IUD. Not getting your period is normal.” I grabbed the box out of Vicki’s hand. “Fine. I’ll take the fucking test.” I stumbled out of bed naked and walked into the bathroom.

  I was irritable and grouchy. Living with Val for two months had made me appreciate the term “sleeping in.” I hated to wake up before I was ready.

  Val stood in the doorway and lit a cigarette. He looked incredibly sexy standing in the doorway half-naked in his lounge pants.

  “How long do we have to wait?” he asked.

  “Three minutes.”

  “Is it possible you’re pregnant?”

  “Possible, yes, likely no.”

  “So, what’s her problem?”

  “I have no fucking clue. But she’s going to have hell to pay today. I’m exhausted. I’m so done with this life. I want to go back home.” I stared at the test, only one line. “Is it three minutes yet?”

  “Probably.” He looked over my shoulder at the little screen. “What do we have?”

  “One line,” I responded. “Not pregnant.” An unexpected shock of disappointment ran through my body. I got up and threw the stick in the trash.

  “You okay?”

  “I’m fine. I’m going to get coffee.” I reached for my robe, which was hanging on the door. I placed my hand on the knob to open the door, but he blocked me, placing his hand over mine.

  “Hey…” He looked me in the eye.

  “Hmm?”

  “Why don’t you get that thing removed?”

  I shook my head. “Not until after we get married.”

  “Are you sure? We can start trying now if you want.”

  “I’m sure. It’s not a good time. With my luck, I would get knocked up right as you were going on tour.”

  I tried to move his hand out of the way, but he remained firm in his grasp. “You know,” he said quietly, “when you were holding Joy last night, it struck a chord with me.”

  “How so?”

  He rubbed my belly. “You know how fucking hot you would be pregnant?”

  I groaned. “Is this a fetish I need to know about?”

  “Maybe.” He kissed my neck.

  “So, you’re telling me once we’re home you’re going to keep me barefoot and pregnant?” I said, laughing.

  “If I can, yes.” He placed his fingers on my pussy, rubbing my clit.

  I moaned in pleasure. “Stop, we’re going to get busted,” I whispered in his ear.

  “Do you think I care?” he said, his cock poking through his pants.

  There was a knock on the door. “Is it safe to come in?” Vicki asked.

  “No, and the answer is not pregnant.” I opened the door, vexed our session was cancelled. I placed my robe on and headed to the kitchen.

  Val followed. “I don’t like her.”

  “Neither do I, at least not today.” I poured us coffee.

  Vicki came marching in a short while later, “Aubrey cancelled your performance. She said something about your songs being too related to the depths of hell and not wanting any bad luck on her day.”

  I laughed. This was so typical of her.

  “Perfect. I didn’t want to perform anyway,” Val said, looking out the window.

  “She realizes she still has to pay him?” I asked Vicki.

  “Yes, she’s aware of it.”

  The next few hours flew by. I sermonized to my staff and the vendors what I expected of them. I barked orders and threw out threats: things better go not as planned but better than planned. The bridal suite was a drama in its own, with Aubrey throwing a fit that her dress didn’t poof out enough and her hair wasn’t cooperating. She didn’t need me there at all. She had her own entourage taking care of her every whim. I felt like an expensive statue in the corner.

  The cocktail party and reception went off splendidly. Unfortunately, there were too many behind-the-scenes fires to be put out, and I was stuck in the midst of the madness. There was no way I was going to be able to slip away unnoticed. I needed to stay until the cleanup crew arrived.

  I walked into my apartment well after two a.m. I greeted Edward in the kitchen. “Where is Val?”

  “He went to sleep about thirty minutes ago. He said he was tired. Can I get you anything?”

  “Yes, please put on tea for me. I am going to take a bath.”

  I took off my heels and tiptoed into the bedroom so I wouldn’t wake him. Val was sound asleep on the bed, sheets wrapped around him, pillow tucked under his head. He looked sweet lying there. I had never seen him sleep because I always fell asleep first. I stood there a moment to take it all in. Yes, I was in love, and he was the one. I leaned over and kissed him goodnight before unwinding from my exhausting day.

  Chapter 22

  Val wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed me softly on the neck. “Where are you off to so early?”

  “I have errands to run.” I didn’t want him to know where I was going.

  “Would you like company?” Val asked.

  “You’re not showered, and I have to be somewhere at ten.” I looked at the clock. It was already eight thirty. It would take me awhile to make it into Queens.

  “I’ll be ready in five.” Val zipped into the bedroom, reappearing within minutes
.

  I eyed his outfit. “I’m not sure you’ll want to come with me. I’m going to church, and the last time I mentioned that we got into an argument. So don’t feel obligated to come.”

  “Why are you going to church?”

  “I requested my records in case we get married. Plus, it’s the anniversary of my parents’ deaths in a few weeks. Then I’m going to the cemetery. Seriously, you don’t have to come.”

  “This is important. I want to be there with you.” He paused. “Unless you don’t want me to be there?”

  I didn’t want to argue. “I wouldn’t mind company, actually.”

  The ride into Queens was uneventful. I spent it flicking though the radio in contemplative silence. We arrived in my hometown a bit earlier than I expected. I decided to swing by my childhood home. Perhaps he would understand me a bit better.

  We pulled up to a dilapidated house. It had graffiti on the side and security bars on the windows and doors. The red brick was chipped and weathered. The neighborhood was quite undesirable, although no more than what I was used to as a child.

  “This is the house I grew up in.” I looked at the old thing. It needed such a facelift.

  Val’s eyes widened. “This is where you grew up?”

  “Yes, and not much has changed since then. I moved out when I was eighteen. So, you see, I don’t come from money.”

  Suddenly there was a tap on my window. I nearly jumped out of my skin. “Eve, is that you?”

  I looked up and saw my old neighbor. She must have been eighty-five. “Mrs. Langone, are you still living here?”

  “Yes, unfortunately. Where am I to go?” She smiled warmly. “It’s good to see you. Is this the young man I have read about?”

  “Why, yes it is. This is Val, my fiancé. Val, meet Mrs. Langone. She was my next-door neighbor growing up.”

  “A pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

  “The house was recently sold, and when they were doing renovations last month, the new owners found a box of old photos in the attic. I took them and was going to forward them to you, but I wasn’t sure of your address. Wait right here. I’ll go get them.” She walked inside and quickly returned with a box. “Here you go, dear.”