My Gift To You

by Tracie Delaney

  Livvy repressed an urge to lean into his embrace.

  “Please,” he said. “Stay the night. I don’t want to wake up without you tomorrow. I want to spend the night with you in my arms.”

  She wanted to. The idea of being held by Gabe as she fell asleep, of feeling safe and warm and protected was one hell of a draw. She hated sleeping alone, had never gotten used to it after Mark died. Without making the conscious decision, she found herself nodding, and Gabe’s unmistakable sigh of relief bolstered her slightly battered ego.

  His fingers closed around hers, and he lifted them to his lips, grazing the back of her hand with a kiss. He gently removed her purse from her shoulder and tossed it on the bed. “Come on. I’ll get dressed and then make us some dinner.”

  Gabe lay awake, listening to Livvy’s steady breathing. He’d tried to stay calm during her brief meltdown, but his underlying panic when he thought she might walk out merited further examination. He had not found himself attracted to a woman on an emotional level since Tabitha, but he’d known Tab for years. Livvy was another prospect altogether. She’d gotten under his skin—that much was obvious—and the temptation to ignore his rules and have sex with her anyway had almost finished him off.

  He’d also lied to her. He didn’t bareback… not now. He’d learned his lesson the hard way. But to say he didn’t ever had been a lie.

  Her reaction to him refusing to have sex had surprised him, but on reflection, it shouldn’t have. She was so fragile in lots of ways, and yet in others, she was as tough as they came.

  He turned onto his side and rested his head on his elbow. Moonlight shone on her face, replete in sleep, and his stomach tightened. She was so different from the hardened, vacuous women with whom he’d sought temporary solace after his relationship with Tab had gone horribly wrong. Livvy wasn’t just relationship material. She was marriage material. This was a girl who didn’t do casual. She felt deeply, and when she committed, she would be all in.

  Gabe sighed. Livvy might be marriage material, but was he? For sure, something about her called to the very core of him. He wanted to protect her, to heal her, to make her eyes shine and keep them shining. He’d felt it from the second they met, and every day since then, the urge had grown. But he just wasn’t sure if that amounted to a future together.

  She rolled over in bed, a contented sigh escaping from her lips. As she snuggled close to his side, her arm came across his waist. Gabe placed his hand over hers as a wave of pure joy washed over him. The feeling was so alien that it took a second or two for him to recognize it for what it was.

  He closed his eyes and allowed sleep to claim him.

  A loud ringing made Livvy stir, but she struggled to open her eyes. She groaned, half in, half out of sleep, willing the damned noise to stop. She was lying across Gabe’s chest, his warm body seeping through the cotton T-shirt he’d loaned her to sleep in.

  Reluctantly, she rolled over and fumbled around on the floor for her purse.

  “Hello?” she mumbled into her phone as she sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

  “Livvy, is that you, darling? It’s John.”

  Livvy’s eyes sprang open, immediately awake and alert. Her father-in-law never called her. He hated speaking on the phone. He always had Beth call if they needed anything.

  “John, yes, it’s me.” She fumbled for the lamp in the dark. “What’s wrong?”

  Gabe sat up beside her, his brow wrinkled in concern at her worried tone.

  “Oh, Livvy,” John said. “It’s Beth. She’s in the hospital. They think she’s had a heart attack. Livvy, her heart stopped.” John’s voice broke on his last word.

  “Oh God,” she whispered as her body broke out in a cold sweat. She blindly felt for Gabe’s hand and held on tight. “John, tell me she’s all right.”

  “They don’t know, sweetheart. She’s in intensive care. She needs you, Livvy. Will you come?”

  “Of course I’ll come. I’ll be on the next plane over. Hang in there, okay? I’ll call you when I land.”

  She leaped out of bed and began scrabbling around for her clothes.

  Gabe had tuned in to her panic. “Livvy, what is it? What can I do? What do you need?”

  She shook her head, feeling as if she had water in her ears as fear swamped her. Breathe, Livvy. She Googled the airport number and hit dial. “My mother-in-law is in the hospital. She—hello, yes,” she said as flight reservations answered her call. “I need a flight to London, the first one you have. Any class, I don’t care. What? That’s the first one going out? Nothing sooner? What about Manchester or Birmingham?”

  She began to pace as she barked questions at the poor reservations clerk who was trying to apologize for the lack of flights. No seats were available that day or the next one.

  Without warning, Gabe eased the phone from her grasp. He hung up and wrapped his arms around her. “Livvy, I’m here. I have a plane. It will take you anywhere you need to go. Please tell me what’s going on.”

  Her head began to swim as a wave of nausea rolled through her stomach. She couldn’t lose Beth, not after finally finding her feet and moving on after Mark and Daniel. She wasn’t strong enough to deal with that. Beth and John were her rocks, her safe place to land, her lifeboat that had saved her from stormy seas.

  She bent over and clasped her knees as the room pitched back and forth. “My mother-in-law had a heart attack, and they don’t know whether or not she’s going to make it. Please, help me.”

  Gabe, still clutching her phone in his hand, stabbed at the screen. A few seconds later, he was talking rapidly into it, snapping out instructions. Satisfied with the outcome, he threw her phone on the bed and pulled her into his arms once more.

  “My plane will be ready at the airport in one hour, waiting to take us to London.”

  Livvy lifted her head. “Us?”

  “Yes. I’m not letting you go through this alone.”

  Livvy began to protest, but then her shoulders sagged. It would be good to have someone to lean on, someone who could take control, because her head was all over the place. She had no idea what she would say to John about who Gabe was, but at this point in time, there were much more important things to do, like being there for Beth.

  She can’t die. Livvy could not lose yet another important person in her life. Hadn’t she suffered enough?

  Chapter Eleven

  The flight to London seemed to take forever, but Gabe’s comforting presence soothed her on a level she didn’t quite understand. He talked when she wanted to talk and stayed silent when her fears made it difficult to form words. At those times, he simply held her, his thumb caressing the back of her neck in a show of affection that made her heart ache.

  Beth. Poor, beautiful Beth. She’d been through so much, as they all had. The loss of Mark had almost been too much for Beth to cope with, and when Livvy had selfishly tried to end it all, Beth had sunk further into a deep depression. Livvy would always blame herself for that. She’d piled more worry and sorrow onto a woman who’d had more than her fair share of it already. It had been John, along with Ches, who had insisted that Livvy needed a change of scenery—and not just a couple of weeks lying on a beach in Spain—but really getting away. John had been the first to suggest that Livvy sell the home she’d shared with Mark, something which had hurt Beth deeply. But John had insisted it was the right thing to do. He’d always put Livvy first, even though his idea meant he lost his daughter-in-law, for all intents and purposes.

  Livvy began to mutter prayers for Beth. She had to come through this. Livvy feared for John if she didn’t. Losing their only child had aged them both far beyond their years, but John had also had to be strong enough for Beth to lean on. If he lost her too, Livvy didn’t know whether he would be able to cope.

  The plane touched down at a private airfield north of London a little after midnight. As the doors opened, an immigration official—at least that was who she assumed it was—boarded and checked their documentati
on before leaving. Gabe folded Livvy’s hand into his own and led her down the aluminum steps. Instead of joy at being home, she felt only despair. It was chilly, despite being the middle of July, and the rain was falling in heavy droplets as Gabe ushered her into the back of a waiting car.

  In a little under an hour, the car pulled up outside the hospital. Livvy leaped out and burst through the front doors with Gabe at her heels. She headed for the only reception desk she could see, with no idea whether she was in the right department.

  “Hi. I’m looking for Beth Hayes. She was brought in yesterday with a suspected heart attack. I’m her daughter-in-law.”

  The receptionist nodded at Livvy and began tapping on her keyboard. “She’s on the third floor. The lifts are right around the corner.”

  Livvy turned on her heel, wanting to run but settling for a fast walk instead. As soon as the elevator reached the third floor, Livvy hurried down the corridor, spotting another reception area straight ahead. She repeated her question and waited again for more keyboard tapping before being guided to the right room.

  She paused outside, her palm flat against the door, and took a deep breath. Gabe’s warm hand curved around her neck, and he brushed a kiss to her temple. “I’m here,” he murmured. “Lean on me.”

  Tears pricked her eyes, and not trusting herself to speak, she nodded. With a firm shove, she pushed open the door to Beth’s hospital room and stepped inside with Gabe next to her. A gasp fell from her lips at the sheer number of tubes keeping her mother-in-law alive.

  “Livvy!” John scrambled to his feet. Livvy dashed across the room and flung her arms around his neck, holding him tightly to her.

  “Oh, Livvy. Thank you so much for coming,” he murmured in her ear.

  She extricated herself from his embrace and gave him the once-over. Dark circles beneath his eyes gave him a tired, almost defeated look, and the skin was baggy around his mouth. His gaze fluttered over to Gabe, and a question flashed across his face.

  “This is Gabe Mitchell, a friend of mine.”

  “Sir.” Gabe held out his hand, which John shook.

  “How is she, John?” Livvy asked as she pulled a chair close to the bed and wrapped her hand around Beth’s. It was cold, and Livvy absentmindedly rubbed it, trying to get some warmth into her.

  John sighed as he sank back into his chair, his brief interest in Gabe waning. “She had a massive cardiac arrest, so they’re not sure yet what the long-term damage will be to her heart, but the fact that she’s survived this long is encouraging, apparently.”

  “Oh God. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here for you. I should have been here.” Livvy began to cry, silent tears slipping down her cheeks. Her shoulders shook until Gabe gave her a comforting squeeze. Livvy allowed herself a moment to absorb his strength before she wriggled away. She didn’t want John to start asking questions yet.

  “It isn’t your fault, Livvy. You have to live your own life. Mark would have wanted that for you, and Beth and I want that for you. You’re here now. That’s all that matters, okay?”

  Livvy nodded silently as a nurse brought in a third chair for Gabe. He sat down beside her, close enough for her to feel the warmth from his body but not so close as to raise suspicions about the depth of their relationship. As exhaustion swamped her, she laid her head on her arms and, keeping hold of Beth’s hand, slipped into a restless sleep.

  When Livvy woke, morning had arrived. The rain that had battered down during the night had evaporated, and bright sunshine shone through the window, warming the room. Her head snapped up, and she glanced around. John was sitting opposite her, his skin pallid and gray, worry lines drawing his mouth downward. She shot a glance to her left. Gabe was nowhere to be seen.

  “He’s gone to get coffee,” John said, nodding at the empty chair.

  Livvy rubbed her eyes. “Oh, good. I need the caffeine.” Her gaze turned to Beth. “No change, then?”

  John shook his head. “He seems nice.”

  It took Livvy a second to figure out who John was talking about. A warm flush spread across her cheeks, and she ducked her head and fiddled with Beth’s sheets.

  She shrugged. “I guess.”

  “It’s about bloody time,” John said, his gaze full of love as he looked across Beth’s hospital bed at her. “You’ve suffered enough, Liv.”

  She grimaced. “Haven’t we all?”

  “Is it serious?”

  Another shrug. “I don’t know. It’s early days.” She stood and stretched out her back.

  “Why don’t you go for a walk? Go find your man.”

  Livvy gave him a glimmer of a smile. “I don’t want to leave her.”

  John cocked his head at the door. “Go on. Give yourself five minutes.”

  “Have you had five minutes?”

  He nodded. “Your man insisted I take a break during the night. It did me good. If it makes you feel better, I could murder a bacon sandwich.”

  “With brown sauce?” Livvy asked, holding back surprise that Gabe had managed to persuade John to take a short break from Beth’s bedside. Then again, he did have excellent powers of persuasion. She should know.

  “Of course,” John scoffed. “It’s not a bacon sandwich without brown sauce.”

  Livvy giggled and stepped out into the hallway. Gabe was coming towards her, three paper cups held expertly between his fingers in a triangular shape.

  He smiled as his eyes fell on her. “Hey, how are you holding up?”

  She took one of the coffees from him. “I’m okay. It’s him I’m worried about.” She jerked her head towards the hospital room behind her. “The good thing is he’s hungry, so I’m going to grab him a sandwich.”

  “Hang on. I’ll come with you. Let me drop off his coffee first.”

  Gabe was back seconds later, and he threaded his fingers through hers, an action Livvy found she was beginning to crave.

  “Here, you sit,” he said when they reached the cafeteria, pointing at a spare table by the window. “What do you want to eat?”

  Livvy shook her head. “Let’s just grab something and go.”

  “Livvy.” Gabe jabbed his finger at the chair. “Sit down. You’ll be no use to either of them if you don’t look after yourself.”

  Reluctantly, Livvy did as he asked, causing Gabe’s lips to twitch.

  “I expected more of an argument,” he said. “Now, what do you want to eat?”

  She shrugged. “A croissant or a Danish pastry.” Gabe gave her a look of admonishment. “I’m not hungry,” Livvy added in explanation.

  When he returned with the food, the two of them sat in silence, each mulling through their own thoughts. Livvy picked at her croissant before pushing it away. Her stomach kept churning with unease, and the greasy pastry didn’t help. A couple of times, Livvy began to stand until Gabe’s firm grip tugged her down again. After her third attempt, he gave in. She grabbed a bacon sandwich for John on the way out, loading on the brown sauce exactly as he liked it, before they both headed back upstairs.

  As they stepped out of the elevator on the third floor, Livvy was almost knocked over by at least three nurses and a couple of doctors who were sprinting down the corridor.

  “What the hell?” Then she spotted them going into Beth’s room. “Oh, no, no, no, no,” she shouted, sprinting after them.

  The paper bag holding John’s sandwich slipped between her fingers. She didn’t stop to pick it up. She followed the medical staff inside, but Beth had so many people around her bed, Livvy couldn’t see her. John stood off to the side, a look of sheer horror and despair on his face as he repeatedly ran his hands through his thinning hair. Machines were going off, and doctors barked out orders as they applied compressions to Beth’s chest. John’s body sagged, and Livvy managed to reach him just in time to stop him from falling to the ground.

  She put her arms out to steady him. “John, what’s happening?”

  “She’s gone, Livvy. She’s gone.”

  Livvy gave Gabe a helples
s stare as the medical staff kept working on Beth until the doctor in charge stood back and held up his hand.

  “Everyone, stop please.” The room went quiet. “I’m calling it. Time of death”—he glanced at his watch—“9:56 a.m.”

  “No!” Livvy yelled. “Keep going. You can’t stop yet.”

  Gabe touched Livvy’s shoulder. She shrugged him off and pushed past the various medical staff. She pressed her palm against Beth’s still warm cheek. She couldn’t be gone. It wasn’t possible. Pain seared across her chest, burning, agonizing. How much more suffering would be loaded on her and John? Wasn’t it someone else’s turn to experience heartache?

  Like an early morning mist that burned away when the sun came up, the staff dissipated, leaving the three of them alone with Beth.

  Livvy spun around and stared helplessly at John. He’d crumpled in on himself. He looked like a broken man, and her heart squeezed painfully. She’d left him to go through this alone while she’d been enjoying a leisurely breakfast with Gabe.

  Her eyes went to Gabe’s. He reached out a hand, but she recoiled. If he hadn’t insisted she take a break, she would have been here with Beth at the end. Hurt crossed his face at her rejection. He opened his mouth to say something but then seemed to have second thoughts.

  “I need some air,” Livvy choked out before blindly walking to the door and reaching for the door handle. She careened through the door, into the hallway, her sneakers squeaking on the highly polished floor as she broke into a run.

  “Livvy!” Gabe’s voice held a tinge of panic, but she didn’t turn around. She heard him, though, gaining on her.

  She wrenched open the door that led to the stairwell and sped down the three flights of stairs. As she spilled outside and began to gulp down the warm, humid air, Gabe reached her, and his arms came around her waist.

  She shoved hard at his chest until he stepped back. “Don’t touch me,” she hissed.