Gabe frowned. “Who the hell is Paul?”
Livvy patted his arm in reassurance. “My personal trainer. I went to see him today, and he worked me to death. Then I was telling him how tired I am all the time, and he suggested I might be pregnant. I don’t think for one minute he’s right,” she added quickly. “But I need to be sure.”
“So why haven’t you used it?”
Livvy gave an embarrassed grin. “I couldn’t go.”
He wore an amused smirk. “You couldn’t pee? Oh dear. I can see how that would be a problem.” He was openly laughing now, which made her relax. He didn’t appear remotely concerned with the result.
“So, wanna see if you’re going to be a mommy?” he asked, waving the stick in the air.
Livvy grimaced. “I don’t know. I’m scared.”
“What are you scared of, darlin’?” he gently coaxed. “Worried it’ll be like last time?”
She shook her head. “Yes and no. I don’t know what I’m more scared of—whether it’s positive or negative.”
Gabe grinned. “Well, Liv, I’m guessing it’s going to be one or the other. I think this is one of those fifty-fifty situations.” He held out his hand. “Come on. There’s only one way to find out.”
Livvy gave him one of those looks. “So, you’re not bothered?”
“Bothered how? Look, I know we haven’t talked about having kids, but let’s look at it this way. If it’s positive, I’ll be thrilled. Having kids with you, well, it’s all my dreams come true. And if it’s negative…” He grinned again. “We can have lots of fun trying, can’t we?”
Gabe looked at her in a way that made Livvy’s insides melt. Christ, she was fortunate to have him as her husband.
She took his hand and blew out a breath. “Okay, let’s do this.”
Livvy closed the bathroom door, leaving Gabe on the other side. She sat on the toilet, held the stick in place, and waited for nature to take its course. After finishing up, she opened the door to find Gabe lounging against the wall. He turned to her, his face expectant.
“We have to wait a minute,” she said.
“Oh, of course.”
They waited together, both anxious. After the allotted time had passed, Livvy held the stick towards the light. She and Gabe stared at the two vertical blue lines. Livvy felt a rush of emotion, and tears welled up in her eyes.
Gabe looked between her and the stick then back again. “What does it mean?”
“It means I’m pregnant.” She couldn’t say the words we’re going to be parents because with her history, that outcome was far from certain.
Gabe let out a whoop of joy and swung her around the room. Livvy wanted to match his broad grin with one of her own, but she couldn’t bring herself to. Stretching her mind ahead, all she could see was week after week of worry that her body would reject this baby like it had rejected all of the others. Even when she’d gotten past the dreaded first trimester, she’d still failed to protect Daniel.
After a few seconds, Gabe sensed her lack of excitement. He placed her back on the floor, his arms around her waist. “I know you’re scared,” he said, picking up on the nub of her concerns. “And you’ve every right to be. But you will have the best care money can buy. I guarantee it.” He chewed his lip. “I know how much you’re enjoying working, but if this news makes you want to reconsider, then don’t worry about it.”
“Let’s see what the doctor says first,” she said. “No point jumping to conclusions. I promise I’ll take whatever advice I’m given.”
A couple of days later, Livvy and Gabe arrived at the office of Dr. Wilson, an ob-gyn that Gabe’s family doctor had recommended. The fact that he’d managed to secure an appointment so quickly made Livvy’s head spin. She wouldn’t have been able to secure an appointment with a doctor in the UK nearly as fast.
As they sat in the reception area, Gabe was the epitome of relaxed, and Livvy was the complete opposite. When she started chewing her nails down to the quick, Gabe’s hand curled around her wrist to stop her. He gave her a warm smile and squeezed her hand as the door to the doctor’s office opened. A woman in her early forties with kind eyes and the thickest dark-brown hair Livvy had ever seen stepped through.
“Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell?” She held out her hand and shook first Livvy’s then Gabe’s. On unsteady legs, Livvy made her way into the doctor’s office. As she sat on one of two visitor’s chairs, her heart began thundering in her chest. Recognizing the signs of anxiety, she took several deep breaths to slow down her speeding pulse.
Dr. Wilson sat in a large leather chair behind her desk. “So, how are you feeling, Mrs. Mitchell?”
Livvy glanced at Gabe then at the doctor. “Did you receive my medical records?” she asked, unsure of what Gabe had already passed along.
“Yes, I received them.” Dr. Wilson leaned forward. “This must be a worrying time for you.”
Livvy nodded. “I’m terrified.” Her voice sounded small and lost.
Gabe reached for her. He knitted their fingers together, and she drew strength from his warmth.
Dr. Wilson gave her a sympathetic nod. “I doubt there is anything I or anyone else will be able to do to allay your fears, Mrs. Mitchell, but be assured you will receive the very best care. We’ll monitor you closely at every stage of your pregnancy.”
“I’m quite tired, but I guess that’s normal?”
“Completely normal. I’ll prescribe some prenatal vitamins as a precaution. Any nausea?”
“No, none at all.”
“Good.” Dr. Wilson got to her feet. “Okay, shall we see how far along you are?”
“You can do a scan right now?” Livvy asked, more than a little taken aback.
“Yes. We’ll try the ultrasound first, but if you are newly pregnant, we may need to do an internal scan. Let’s see how we go.”
Dr. Wilson passed her some water, and once Livvy had drunk as much as she could, she climbed up onto the bed. She clung to Gabe’s hand, and it was clear to see how fascinated he was with the whole process. He watched the doctor closely as she squeezed cold gel onto Livvy’s abdomen and moved the wand over her belly while she focused on a monitor to the side.
After a few moments, she pressed some buttons, and the image froze. “There. See it?” She pointed to what looked like a kidney bean. “You’re about eight weeks pregnant.”
Livvy blinked rapidly. She shared a look with Gabe. It must have happened in New York on the night they had their fight about Tabitha—the night of angry, passionate sex. He winked, letting her know he’d worked out the timing too.
“Does it look okay?” she asked the doctor.
“Everything looks fine, Mrs. Mitchell.” Dr. Wilson’s eyes slid to Gabe then back to Livvy. “Want to hear the heartbeat?”
A thrill ran through her. “Oh God, yes. If we can.” Livvy couldn’t take her eyes off the tiny form on the monitor.
The doctor moved the wand again, clicked a couple of buttons, and then the sound of their baby’s heartbeat came through the monitor. It was clear and strong and totally overwhelming.
Unable to utter a word, Livvy began to cry, and as Gabe’s arm came around her, he looked as though he couldn’t trust himself to speak, either.
“Would you like a picture?”
Livvy gave an enthusiastic nod to Dr. Wilson, who wiped the gel from Livvy’s stomach as they waited for the printer to spit out a picture that she would cherish.
Gabe eased her upright then helped her down from the bed. He pulled her into his side and gently kissed her temple. “Well done, Mrs. Mitchell,” he whispered, his eyes bright and full of love.
Dr. Wilson handed over a black-and-white picture. Livvy could clearly see the tiny blip, which, God willing, would turn into a healthy baby. Her hand automatically went to her flat stomach, and she sent up a silent prayer that it wouldn’t stay flat for long. Please let me take this one to term. She’d suffered enough. Surely this time, she deserved to walk away with the top prize—a son or a daughter.
They sat in front of the doctor’s desk once more. “I’ll have a prescription for some vitamins sent to your local pharmacy,” she said. “Now, with your history, I want to see you every week, at least until you’re through the first trimester. You can make the appointments with my secretary. And if you have any concerns at all, day or night, call me.”
“I will.”
“Are there any further questions at this point?”
“I don’t think so,” Livvy said.
“I have one.” Gabe’s eyes cut to hers, and he winked before turning back to Dr. Wilson. “Should we refrain from having sex, given Livvy’s prior history?”
Livvy’s mouth fell open. Oh, she was going to kill him. Fortunately, Dr. Wilson must have heard similar questions a hundred times over because her lips didn’t even twitch.
“Not at all, Mr. Mitchell. You’re both young and perfectly healthy. There’s no reason why you can’t enjoy a full sex life right up until the birth.”
“Excellent.” Gabe grinned. Livvy did not. First chance she got, he was getting a firm dig in the ribs.
“I’ll see you next week, then, Mrs. Mitchell.”
Livvy made an appointment for the following week, and as soon as they were outside, she turned to Gabe with a glare. “Sex? Really? That’s what you wanted to know?”
Gabe’s answering grin couldn’t have been wider. “Come on, darlin’. Let’s go home.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
The next few months passed by in a contented haze. Livvy successfully negotiated the first trimester, resulting in all-round relief. The only downside was her continuing fatigue. Despite taking every pill the doctor had thrown at her and sleeping at least eight hours per night, Livvy’s exhaustion was bone deep. And so, the previous Friday, Gabe had put his foot down and insisted she begin her maternity leave even though she was only five and a half months into her pregnancy.
On Monday morning, she was sitting in the rocking chair in the nursery that Gabe had already decorated, waiting to go to her regular doctor’s appointment. When Gabe walked in and found her, he couldn’t hide the concern etched into the line of his jaw. Livvy knew what he was seeing—dark circles beneath her eyes, an almost gray pallor to her skin, and she was thinner than she should be, especially given how far along she was.
“Ready, Liv?” he asked gently.
Livvy nodded and held out her hands for him to pull her up from the rocking chair. As she collided with his broad, firm chest, she rested there for a moment, enjoying the sound of his heart beating rhythmically beneath her ear.
He cupped her face and bent to kiss her before his arm came around her waist. “I got you.”
Twenty minutes later, they arrived at Dr. Wilson’s office. They were ushered straight in.
“How are things, Livvy?” Dr. Wilson asked after the pleasantries were out of the way.
“Everything’s fine except I’m still so tired. I’ve taken every pill, and I’m sleeping lots, but I still don’t have any energy.”
Dr. Wilson tapped her pen against her pad. “Let’s get you up on the examination table so we can have a look.”
Livvy gave herself over to the physical exam as Dr. Wilson felt up and down her arms then over her breasts and stomach. She had Livvy sit upright so she could listen to her chest and lungs.
Once Livvy was lying flat once more, the doctor’s eyes narrowed. “Livvy, can you put your right arm over your head for me?”
Livvy obeyed as the doctor examined her right breast again. Dr. Wilson frowned slightly. Livvy wasn’t sure whether it was in concentration or concern, but regardless, her pulse spiked, and her heart began to thunder against her ribcage. She didn’t like the look on the doctor’s face. Neither, apparently, did Gabe.
“Is something wrong?” he asked, his tone brusque and hoarse.
“Give me a moment please, Gabe,” Dr. Wilson said in a dismissive tone, which caused Gabe’s scowl to deepen. “Put your arm down, please, and do exactly the same with your left.”
As Livvy’s left breast was prodded and kneaded, her sense of dread and foreboding grew. Dr. Wilson gently placed Livvy’s arm by her side, softly sighed, and pulled up a chair next to the bed.
“Livvy, have you noticed any changes to your breasts recently? I mean apart from those related to your pregnancy?”
Livvy swallowed. “No.”
“So you haven’t noticed a small lump underneath your right armpit?”
Lump. Livvy’s heart began to gallop, and her mouth emptied of saliva. She swallowed past a throat that had closed over.
“No,” she replied quietly.
“What does that mean?” Gabe demanded.
“It’s hard to tell. It may be nothing at all, but I’m going to make a couple of phone calls and get some tests organized.”
“Will I have to go to the hospital?” Livvy asked.
“No. We can do them as an outpatient in the clinic next door.”
Livvy swallowed. Surely a lump only meant one thing. She forced herself to form the words and ask the question. “Do you think it could be cancer?” Her voice sounded cold, detached.
Gabe increased the pressure on her hand, squeezing her tight enough to cut off her blood supply.
“It’s highly unlikely.” Dr. Wilson patted her shoulder. “Let’s not jump to any conclusions until we know more. You’re young and healthy. It’s much more likely to be a benign cyst, some fatty tissue that’s completely harmless.”
“What tests will I need?” Livvy’s voice sounded strained.
“A mammogram to see what the lump looks like, and then if needed, we’ll do a fine-needle aspiration biopsy. That’s just a fancy term for inserting a very thin needle into your breast and removing a small amount of tissue. It stings a bit, but it’s over quickly. We’ll also take some blood.”
“How long will we have to wait for the tests to be done?” Gabe asked.
“I should be able to get you in today. Take a seat in the waiting room, and I’ll see what I can do.”
A couple of hours later, Livvy and Gabe headed back to their car after her tests had been completed. As they climbed in, Gabe started the engine but didn’t set off. Silence stretched between them, and after a few minutes, she couldn’t stand it any longer.
“Say something,” she whispered.
Taking her completely by surprise, he twisted in his seat and captured her mouth. His lips were insistent, almost as though he thought it might be the last time he would be able to kiss her. When he broke off their kiss, his eyes smoldered.
“I don’t want you worrying about this until we know whether there’s something to worry about.”
“But—”
Gabe’s hand shot up. “Let’s wait for the results, Liv. Like the doctor said, it’s probably nothing.”
Livvy nodded even as her insides twisted. A lump in the breast was every woman’s worst nightmare. It was impossible to stop her mind from taking her to dark places full of fear and terror.
She turned to stare out the window, the landscape blurring as they passed.
It’s just a cyst. It’s just a cyst.
But what if it wasn’t? What if, once again, her happiness was about to be snatched away? A gigantic wave of terror made a sob catch in her throat.
“Liv.” Gabe blindly reached out his hand and captured hers. “I’m here.”
“I know,” she said as she continued to look out the window. Her heart began to thunder in her chest as she feared the worst. She couldn’t even manage to hope for the best. Her history had taught her she wasn’t a lucky person. If something bad could happen, it would happen to her.
She curled her free hand into a fist, her fingernails digging into her palm. She wanted to shut her brain off, to pretend none of this was happening, but the screams echoing inside her head made that impossible.
“We’re home,” Gabe said, jerking her from her innermost thoughts. Still unable to speak, she nodded glumly and followed him inside.
“W
hat can I do, Liv?” Gabe asked as she brushed by him and headed for the stairs.
She glanced over her shoulder. “Give me some space.”
Ignoring the flash of pain that crossed his face, she turned her back and trudged upstairs.
A couple of days later, the initial shock had worn off, and Livvy was feeling much more positive. She was, however, beginning to go stir crazy. Gabe refused to go into the office, although he took various calls at home, despite her insisting she would be fine on her own. Livvy was sure some women would have loved being pampered and not being allowed to lift a finger, but his overzealous attention was driving her crazy.
As she heard him jogging down the stairs, Livvy pulled her hand away from her breast. Since the doctor had pointed out the lump under her armpit, she couldn’t stop fiddling with it, sort of like when she would bite the inside of her cheek then keep running her tongue over the bump. The problem was, every time Gabe saw her with her fingers in her armpit, he gave her the evil eye. He thought she was making her worry more intense by constantly playing with it. Livvy wasn’t so sure.
“Why didn’t you wake me?” Gabe asked as he entered the living room to find Livvy curled up on the couch with a book in her lap—and her fingers nowhere near the telltale lump.
“Why would I do that?” She moved her legs so he could sit down beside her. “I can get myself downstairs and make my own coffee, you know.” She tried—and failed—to keep the irritation out of her voice.
Gabe raised an eyebrow. “Am I crowding you?”
Livvy sighed. “A little maybe.”
He picked up her feet and rested them across his lap. “I’ll give you some space today. I have some calls to make, anyway.”
Before Livvy could respond, she felt a fluttering sensation in her abdomen. After a couple of seconds, she realized what it was, and she smiled at Gabe. “The baby’s kicking. Here.” She grabbed his hand and put it over her bump.
After a couple of seconds, the baby kicked again. “Amazing,” Gabe said in awe. “Gonna be a quarterback for sure.”
“Not if it’s a girl.”
My Gift To You Page 17