Pillars of Glass

by Michael Polaski

  “That must be why he made me take it off the mainframe, after you left to find Tillery. After the bomb had gone off and we closed the panic room, I watched as a handful of men came through and executed the rest of the survivors. They were upset when they couldn’t find what they were looking for on the mainframe, if anyone got wind of what the project was, they’re either now all dead or with the MLM.”

  “Which is why when I get that laptop from Petersen, I need you to verify that it’s not connected to any network; its possible the MLM now owns our old network. Once we can trust Petersen, I’ll have him disable it and make it a dummy system. I’ll view the files and decide what to do from there.”

  “Anything else commander?” Hayes extended his hand for a shake.

  Alex placed him his side arm into Hayes’ outstretched hand and walked by him. “Shoot anyone who tries to shoot you first.”

  The APC’s were near overflowing with bodies and equipment as Alex carefully watched his men on the journey back to the new command center. He watched their interactions with one another, the moments they were alone in their thoughts, their hands, waiting to see if anyone would dare betray him under his watchful eyes. His suspensions mounted every time he sensed a slow movement in the packed carriage, he couldn’t think to bring himself to thoughts of possible espionage in the other transports.

  Strategically divided up those he knew he could trust amongst the APC’s to keep an eye on the various new and current members of his team, one of them knew a secret, Baldr had made sure to have redundancy at every turn, it would be implausible to think he would have hinged the world, this secret on only one man knowing.

  The though quickly left his mind and he was back to square one and reached for his radio.

  “Two this is one come in.”

  There was a brief pause before the radio echoed back its familiar song. “One, two ready for orders.”

  “Your tires are low on the right side of your APC,” a few eyes looked at Alex puzzled, there were no windows. “Meet me outside I want to check to see if there’s a leak.”

  “Which tire is it Al?” Eli said half amused at the thought he would stop a mission because of air pressure

  “I need you to take do a sweep of all frequencies, long and short range signals. If there’s a broadcast I want you to let me know the type. From there I’ll need you to follow my lead.”

  “You seem a little paranoid, you think we’re bugged?”

  The response took longer than Eli would have liked. “If we are they’ll have eyes on us when we get topside. It’s going to be played close to the chest.”

  “If you know something and don’t tell me how will I know who we need to engage?” Eli’s concern started to take more a foothold in his tone. “Al, trust is all you and I have ever had, don’t play this too close and remove me from the loop completely.”

  “I cant make the sweep from my APC without it being obvious, so I need you to let me know which unit might have a tracker on it. The less you know until we can boot up on a non-linked laptop the better. I don’t know what it is yet Eli, but something isn’t right. They have to have a response team close by to engage us if we found something down there that they wanted.”

  “And what would they want, Al?” a scathing tone took the place of the friendly one that had always defined their conversations, and it didn’t go unnoticed.

  “You have to trust me Eli.”

  “Bullshit Alex, if there’s something I’m going to die for something you tell me right now what it is or once we get back to base, if we get back to base, I’m packing up and walking out. I’ll go back into the woods a wait till this war ends itself.”

  Alex finally went to his haunches to look at the tire incase anyone was actually watching them from the APC’s. He contemplated telling Eli the truth, weighing it against the ramifications should he lie to his friend, instead of bringing the dying hopes of a man to light.

  “Truth is a pathless road Eli, and one of these APCs has no desire to leave the beaten path. What you’re asking me to tell you I something I have yet to fully understand. I was given something that everyone down there was killed for. Whatever it is I have to learn it myself before I can provide you any answers. You’ve came this far always trusting me, can you do it again?”

  “As long as I’m alive, you’ll always know the answer to that question. I’ll follow your lead, and when it comes time, you’ll know where I stand.” Eli kneeled down next to his friend.

  “Broadcast on all open lines to command and let them know we need to have a transport ready from them to unload the dead we brought back with us, only bringing back the high ranking officers, no survivors, and nothing was able to be salvaged, give our position and disconnect the line.”

  Eli searched Alex’s eyes for more of an explanation and came up empty. “Which APC has the dead?”

  “First and third, two bodies a piece. When we get back to command we’ll tare these apart piece by piece and see where the bug is.”

  “What if they bugged all thee Al?”

  “Then it’ll be a damned good thing we don’t upload this file into the server. If nothing else, we can use um later for our own needs.”

  “Just because you’re a king in your game doesn’t mean you aren’t a pawn in another mans, Al.’

  “If we don’t take this chance Eli, they could be waiting to kill us all when we get up there it’s a gambit, but we have to make some sort of move.”

  It took a long time for Elijah to show any reaction. He pondered the idea of sitting back and waiting for the enemy’s next move instead of reaching the surface alerting all men about a full engagement. It was the first time since he had pulled Alex to safety that doubt had reached the forefront of his mind regarding a decision his friend had made. The risk was calculated and well thought out, but he had been devalued to bait; a pawn.

  “I’m gonna be real pissed Al if we came this far and end up as fish in a barrel. I can fix the tire from here. Get ready to play you hand.” Eli stood up and made his walk back to the front of the APC without making eye contact.

  The distain in his voice made it clear to Alex that he was on board but not thrilled about the gamble that they were about to make, hoping to flush out the enemy. A crack in the armor began to show its rust, weathered by secretes of men, it had slowly corroded the hopes of a new age, and it was a process Alex wanted to halt and if need, throw back into the fire to rekiln the hopes of men.

  Elijah did as he was requested by his friend, and was notified that a large vehicle and security team notified that they had secured the area and were waiting for them to reach the rally point. Alex picked two men from his APC and two from the third to have their ‘bodies’ unloaded into the vehicle supplied by command. Closely he watched the horizons and instructed Eli to quietly do the same. He then directed Eli to drive the new transport and relieved the security team of their weapons and had them place them in the back of Eli’s vehicle, and directed him to lead the convoy home. Alex decided to drive his APC at the back to catch any irregularities that would hint as though the men were not friendlies. They reached command without incident and Eli pulled up to an empty shack that had been erected in the middle of camp and let his passengers out. Alex directed all three APC’s be searched for some sort of tracker, a search that came up empty.

  The gambit, it seemed, had not produced the results either man had anticipated, though the knowledge that any move from here out was not known to the MLM provided Alex a moment of tranquility. Finding his way back to one of the stripped APCs, he tried to find solitude and solace, things that have been long out of his reach, within its walls of steel. He had his men, his friends, and an army looking to him for leadership, while he lacked a mandate himself.

  When they were wrecking havoc in defense of Anderhill, they knew the defense of the city was up most important. Alex thought he knew the face of the enemy then and fighting until he hoped the man crawled out of the hole he hid himself in. With remov
ing Tillery’s involvement, he had no idea of who or where the enemy was. After they returned, the news had already reached him in the camp, the retaking of Anderhill, a task that provided security to the shores of Vanahei. They had chased the MLM for their shores and controlled the water that separated his home from the one he had found himself defending. As much as he wanted to pursue a course of peace, he had seen what the idea of peace was in the eyes of the MLM’s, and he could not sit idle while his home, and his heart, was subjected to the same tyranny.

  His answer was simple, but the implementation is where the dangers lie. It was time to hunt the enemy down on their own ground. No more running, hiding and fighting for the homes of others, it was time to fight for his own home. But with that hunt, the risk of becoming the invading enemy instead of portraying the man defending his home, will bring the scrutiny of a nation instead of the praise of one, a side of the world he did not know. Could he win the hearts and minds of his own people and keep those of the men he commanded? He knew at some point they would all know where he was from and the world would either accept or reject him not on the merits of his leadership, but only on what side of the waters he was born, and the sum of those fears terrified him more than any weapon could.

  There was a wrapping at the door of the ACP and it shook Alex from the trance his mind put him in. Turning he moved to the door and opened to see a face that saved him once before, Hawksins looked through his eyes, searching for orders, he found none.

  “So different form the boy I tried saving months ago.” He answered the empty eyes. “And different still from the ghost that came back to life a few days ago. We have no command other than you Alex, have you though about the direction you want to lead us in?”

  For the moment, it seemed odd to Alex that The Watcher was asking for orders from him, but he understood in front of him was a man protecting the chain of command, he too was trying to understand his role. Hawskins took his orders from the previous regime, a world that had burnt down around him and now could be seen as a stranger to the one that could rise from the ashes. Alex could see the he was a man lost to time, but not to a cause he believed in.

  “We have to be careful. If we invade and take the land scorching it behind us as we march, we are nothing once again but the oppressor, and the enemy’s propaganda becomes true. Unity will always find its opponent defending disparity, and parading that hope it as the ills of the world.”

  “What if the people truly just prefer to be divided and let themselves tare one another apart and then concur them in their weakness?” Hawskins asked with every bit of hope that ran through him. It was a question that Alex would have been able to easily consider had he not seen the mass grave before the pillar fell into the sea.

  “I’m not so sure how long we would have to wait for that, and the collateral in the mean time may be to great for us to simply ignore. The lives that are caught in the balance, the innocent blood spilled just to provide themselves an illusion. All the while-”.

  “All the while your family and those you love are living silently in your home town, on MLM soil, and you’re terrified that if they are still alive, they’ll be swept into the tempest of rage and blood that sits quietly over their heads.”

  His eyed closed quietly as the echo of Hawskins’ comment rattled in his bones. “How long have you known?” A slight pause took over his reply. “Do the other commanders know? Are they afraid ill march them to-?”

  “Their death? No. Few know and even fewer believe it. You didn’t ask to lead these men; the command was given to you. You’re fighting for the purity of an idea, in most worlds that would make you just as a fanatical as the men we are fighting. So it’s important that you fight or become a martyr for the right idea. Is it for the preservation of the Oath I took as part of an underground police that was used by the state of Vanahei. Or is it for something greater? I knew it was wrong to be apart of their private army and yet there was no one that I could turn to and express that, so I continued my service knowing that I would be doing so against my own conscience, knowing that I was brainwashed by an idea and every day knew it was a lie. And still, I served that lie. In the end, they needed that city to fall to justify the war machine they had built, and when it fell and I heard on the radio your voice cry out for help, I knew unequivocally what I was an element of was wrong. When I though you died because of our inaction and what you were willing to gave to save those close to you, I wept.”

  “Why are you telling me all this?

  “It was something I could no longer hide. It had been eating at me since I went back to find your body. When we entered what was left of that cathedral and I could inhale that petrichor aroma from the spent casings and blood, I found the crude grave you made and the epitaph written above it, I slowly tore myself apart until I was alone and able to let the agony of my soul find the strength to vent in one loud, long and final scream of despair, the hatred for the man I had become. I had betrayed the oath I took, and that is as you said, the burden of command”

  The confession continued to puzzle Alex, he knew nothing about a grave let alone the elegy written in his name. However expressing that fact to the man standing there in shame, while he was about to reach the peak of this denouement felt as though he would rob him of a pious moment in this journey through hell. The torment of his trapped soul, under a tomb of ice, would not find warmth if he was told that the one light that guided him was nothing more than the reflection of another’s treachery providing a false hope. Alex knew who wrote the words which bound Hawskins soul, and he silenced that voice, the voice which would let the anguish leave, a voice that would be lifted, nevermore.

  “Hawk, as long as the hope you have can still flourish and bloom under what little light there may be for us, redemption is never lost. We have to fight so that others will not be oppressed. We have to capture the enemy, and have them answer to the people, not just to Vanahei. For this entire conflict we have been fighting for one banner instead of the banner for us all. I think it’s time for us to refocus the call. Gather the men, it’s time for them to know who leads them; before you do, have everyone return their weapons to maintenance, let them know we are going to march into Mispellem and drive out the enemy and I want all weapons checked, once they do that they can order in the drill field and I’ll address them. We have to assume this can go south before the men are willing to fight for a son of Mispellem.”

  “I fear you have too little faith in men Alex.” Hawskins said as he turned to carry out his orders. “The men know you’ve done nothing but protect their lives, I doubt there will be any uprising.”

  “Doubt is something we cant take into the fray with us. We have to let them choose this battle for themselves.” Alex had broken eye contact and gathered himself, in his mind he had already been on the long march of a crusade, but not it was time to drop the façade and define what he was fighting for.

  ----

  The night before he left for school that year, Alex’s father told him an old story that had been passed down from generation to generation of his family for as long back as could be remembered. The two were sitting around a fire after the sun had gone to rest, and Alex’s father had finally decided it was time to pass down the simple teaching to his son.

  "Alex,” his father said looking at the stars, “A fight is going on inside every man at all times. It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil, he is: anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, making eye contact with his son across from the orange glow that cast shadows on his face and illuminated the windows of his soul.

  "The other is good: he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. Now this same fight is going on inside you, and as I said inside every other person, too."

  Alex let the lists sink into his mind and after a few minutes of silence he asked h
is father, the simplest way to judge the character in which he saw his eldest son, "Which wolf will win?"

  His father leaned back into his chair, retreating into the shadows, and tossed a small block of wood into the fire and replied, "The one you feed."

  ----

  After the men had been assembled, Alex took no time try and soften the blow he was anticipating he’d deliver those who stood before him. It was simpler to tell them why this conflict had enlisted then.

  “The uniforms we dawn currently are for an Army that no longer exists. Command has been destroyed and per following any chain of command, then men in front of you have been given the task to make our next move in this fight to restore order to this world. The colors that we wear were used by an oppressive governing city-state that used us as a secret military force to protect the status quo. That was until they knew of the threat that tore down Auroea and pillaged Anderhill. After the threat was presented, it was allowed by command to take place, and even in some minds, encouraged to bring the war machine we are a part of to life. Wearing this uniform acknowledges our content in being Frankenstein’s monster, and the indifference of serving a lie. Now that all of you know the reality of why our war was allowed to take the innocent lives of many also know this, I am from Falcon’s Crest and grew up not far from here in Mispellem.”

  The beginning of his sermon brought a grave silence over the mass. He looked from face to face as he spoke, waiting to see one of distain one of anger, but their faces were not one of horror, they looked as children did trying to understand their parents when they hear their imagination has played a fantastic joke on them.