Viole[n]t Skies

by Derek Baker

  Thinking that would get him to not pester me, I was slightly taken aback when he kept standing there. He looked like he was in deep thought, considering whether he wanted to say what was on his mind. I wondered if I’d said something to offend him, but I went over what I’d said to him a minute before and couldn’t find anything wrong with it.

  “You’re probably one of the only people our age I’ve seen in here looking at telescopes.”

  I looked back up at him, taking in what he had said. Yeah, he was probably right. Of course he was right. No one was a nerd like me. I may have gotten that girl Claire’s attention last night by showing her planets, not to mention with the help of some alcohol, but it would doubtfully turn into one of her hobbies. More likely, she’d be telling her friends about the night she spent with me, only to be laughed at. I figured she would more likely agree with them rather than defend my interests. They would be telling her that I’m some crazy person who believes in aliens even when scientists proved decades ago we were probably alone in the universe. Who would she side with, friends that made sense to her, or a guy she just met recently who went on about things she couldn’t wrap her head around?

  “So, what? Are you into astronomy, too?” I said to the new employee.

  “Yeah, man, but there’s no one else I know who gives a shit, you know?”

  This guy was spot on again. I said back to him, “I know exactly how you feel.”

  “The name’s Alexander.” He held his hand out to shake. I returned the gesture, in a way somewhat intrigued that I’d just met a guy who was into the same hobby as me. By that point in my life, I’d just about given up any hope of having any good friends that would do something other than complaining about their problems and trying to wash them down with alcohol.

  Remembering my manners, I replied, “I’m Delvon. Nice to meet you, man.”

  Alexander and I ended up talking about the telescopes in the shop for a couple of hours, going down the row one by one, discussing the advantages and disadvantages of each one.

  “So how long have you been working here? You know just about as much as I do,” I asked Alexander.

  “This is actually my first day,” his eyebrows raised, measuring my reaction.

  Indeed, my reaction was awe.

  “Nice. I have to say, I’m impressed,” I said after a pause.

  “Thanks.”

  With every new friendship, there comes a threshold. That threshold is the point where two people are comfortable spending time together alone. Apparently Alexander and I both felt this was appropriate. It’s not like either of us knew anyone else who shared our pastime.

  Thus I came to a question: “What would you think about seeing Halley’s Comet this weekend?

  He considered the question for a moment, and at this point in our conversation I could see he was quite the thinker. He didn’t say things that were unimportant, and took in whatever I would say and wait to reply until he had formed his entire response in his mind before it came out. This was the kind of person I would have wanted to hang around with.

  In reality, he was likely thinking, Hell yeah!

  “I know a place outside the city where it would be dark enough to get a good look at it,” he said, like he was trying to appear unexcited.

  I was in for a treat when I went in to the photography shop that day. An already amazing morning followed an equally superb afternoon. Things were picking up in my life as a whole now in the course of a day’s time. My whole childhood spent in awkward social situations because no one quite understood me for me. Never finding anyone who had the time or care to get into Astronomy with me. Until there I was standing there dumbfounded, on that morning in April of 2134, finally discovering someone who shared that hobby.

  “That would be awesome,” I agreed, “Let’s do it.”

  Chapter 5

  The day after I first met Alexander I decided I needed to pay a visit to my parents. Without a job, it pained me to have to go to them and beg for money, but it was my only choice for the time being. What had I been thinking? Astrophysics wasn’t a practical degree.

  Since my folks lived on the other side of town, the only transportation I had available to me was the train. Its tracks circumnavigated the city of Baltimore with a stop in each neighborhood. I went to the station to get on, the same one where I had said goodbye to Claire the day before. It seemed like it had happened a week ago.

  Paying my fee as I stepped on, I took in the array of people around me. The train was full of its usual occupants: businessman in their multi-colored suits, homeless people begging for change only to be forced off the train by the cops, stressed mothers taking their children out shopping, young lovers engrossed in one another.

  The last group caught my attention, made me think back to my recent encounter. Claire. Feelings and butterflies swelled up in my gut. No longer did I experience a tint of jealousy and contempt when looking at these two; it did nothing more than remind me of my own fortune. Perhaps I’d soon be one of those young lovers on the train.

  “Excuse me, I ain’t from around here, ya know where the closest liquor store is?” The man who spoke to me from the across the aisle was about mid forties, unshaven, and looked like the delinquent type. So many people it seemed were wasting their lives on things that were more trivial than anything. The bigger picture eluded them.

  “Uh, if you get off at the next stop, there’s one on your right if you go south,” I said after a moment’s thought.

  “Thanks, man.”

  I wasn’t the type to look down on people for the most part, but there sure were a lot people going about life differently than the path I would’ve chosen for them. There was so much conflict that could be avoided if people didn’t focus so much on what set them apart from those around them. A difference in clothing, opinion, or even religion doesn’t make two people in contradiction any better or worse than the other, just different. Just different. Though we are all different, we’re more alike than we’d like to think.

  Sure enough, the man exited the train on the next stop by my advice to go and fuel his alcoholism. I could just imagine how his life was and would turn out to be, in detail. He’d probably been born in some rural town, more than likely in a nice old hospital like they had before building crap holes like the one into which I born. As a teenager he saw his life had no direction, just as many came to believe at that time in their lives, and proceeded to try new things and meet new friends. These friends would have introduced him to the bottle and maybe even got him to try some drugs. Then after dropping out of school to be with his friends he might have met some pretty young girl who wanted to marry him just for sake of getting married and out of the house. He would’ve been happy for a few years with that girl, until one or both of them cheated on the other. Marriage in those days was a big joke. My own parents had split up a couple times but for some reason saw it more practical to live together. When he’d realized his marriage wasn’t going to work, he decided to move out of town and go somewhere else and eventually wound up here, just another generic east coast slum. It was just a guess, though.

  I suppose I shouldn’t have been so hard on the guy; I’d faced the same situation just a few years before. It got to that point where I had to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. There wasn’t much to do, though. The only options nearby were to go study something at the university only to wind up jobless after graduation or pick a spot in the assembly line building hydrogen car parts. A menial food service job probably would have been an option for some too. Thinking optimistically and scholarly at the same time, I went to the university to study astrophysics. Sure, my parents were proud of me, though they knew it would probably lead to me continually asking them for money when I realized there was no job for me out there. And they were right. That’s exactly what I was on my way to do that day. I was thinking it might have been a good idea to do what they had done and just worked in the factory their whole lives. Then I wouldn’t be down to my las
t FEN, as we called them in those days. Federal Exchange Notes.

  A ride to my parents’ neighborhood usually took about half an hour; this time was no exception. Like clockwork I arrived at the station, exiting the train out into the grey oriented, smog infested suburbia that I called home throughout my childhood.

  The sidewalk and streets were crumbling and in need of repair, but I traversed them as if I knew them like the back of my hand. My house stood in the long row of similar-looking structures. Towards the end of the road I came upon the residence in which I had spent my youth and crossed through the growing green grass up to the front door.

  My mother had been expecting me and watched me through the window as I traveled up the street. She opened the door for me and greeted me, “Come on in, Delvon. Your father is at work, but he’ll be off in an hour.”

  “Hey, mom,” I gave her a half-hearted hug and proceeded to the kitchen at the end of the front hallway.

  Taking my usual place at the table, she placed before me a tall glass with ice and enquired in her usual interrogative manner, “So, how’s the job search going?” She was much too straightforward, suspecting my motives.

  As if I had an immediate answer to her question, “Well, mom, that’s kind of what I’m here about, I –“

  “Delvon, god damn it!” She snapped, “Your father and I may have paid for you to go to school, but we’re not paying for you to live your life! How long is this going to go on? You need to…” Blah blah.

  Great, another yelling spree that I deserved but didn’t want to listen to. We’d been through this more than once. The first couple times my parents were understanding, realizing I’d need a little time to get settled and self-sufficient. Then it got progressively worse. And then this.

  “You know, I always thought you should have studied something more practical, something that would get you an actual career.”

  I snapped back: “You know why I went to college, mom?”

  “To get a job?”

  “Yeah, a real job, though. Not a mindless factory job, not a wage slave position for my whole life. Like you and Dad.”

  Her eyes narrowed, rage and tears mixing to fill them.

  “And that paid the bills, didn’t it? You think we just wanted to go work in a factory for the rest of our lives? You think for one second that your father and I actually give a crap about what we do? You think we enjoy it?” Her voice got quiet, turned into a whimpering.

  I sighed heavily, rising from my chair to comfort her.

  “I’m sorry, Mom…”

  “Delvon, no, hun, it’s not your fault. You followed your dreams, and we love you for it. Your father and I would have gone to a college if we’d had a chance. No, you’ve always been smart, hun. I just hope there’s something out there for you. I just don’t know…”

  We stood there in silence for a few minutes in an awkward embrace. I decided to change the subject, finally.

  “So uh, I have a new girlfriend, Mom.”

  A slight pause. She tilted her head up and met my eyes. “Yeah, what’s her name?”

  “Claire.”

  “That’s pretty.”

  “Yep, she’s a pretty cool girl.”

  “Yeah, until you get out your telescope…” her eyes mocked me.

  “Ha, well…she actually seemed kind of into it. Maybe there’s a chance for me to find love out there.”

  “You better have a job before you do that.”

  Yet again, she managed to bring it up. I sighed, and stopped talking again.

  Soon my mother was off getting ready for her shift at the factory and I was left to think by myself. She never actually agreed to give me the money, so I began pondering the alternatives. None of my “friends” had jobs anyway and thus they couldn’t help me.

  What am I gonna do if I can’t pay rent this month? I thought to myself. Would I have to move back here? I’m surprised Mom and Dad haven’t made me do that already…

  Who did I know? Well, there was Alexander… but surely he didn’t have enough money at that point to spare me a FEN. Then there was Claire…

  …Her father was a doctor up north…

  No, I thought, shaking my head, I couldn’t ask her. That would just complicate everything and I can’t afford to mess things up between us.

  But who else did I know? I squirmed uneasily in the chair in deep thought, rubbing my temples in an attempt to concentrate.

  “No…no…NO. …No…” I muttered aloud, going through people in my head one by one. Not a single person.

  I looked at the time on my tablet. Ten ‘til noon. My mother briskly came back out from her room dressed in the factory garb. Her hair looked frazzled after changing, her eyes giving way to bags underneath. The suit was a navy blue one piece: protection from the dangers on the job. I’d seen her wear it thousands of times, I imagined.

  “Your father’ll be back soon, you talk to him about your financial situation,” she said bitterly, and walked out the front door before I could formulate a response.

  Sitting there once again in solitude, I decided I give Claire a call. Perhaps I would hint at my problems and see if she on the off-chance would offer to help. At least I might try to keep some of my dignity. It beat the usual shouting matches with my father.

  I logged into the phone application on my tablet, going through the contact list to Claire’s recently added name. I tapped her name with my index finger, signaling the advice to call her.

  Within seconds her face popped up on my screen.

  “Oh, hey you,” she said. She was in her work outfit. She was a nurse at the hospital on my side of town. I knew she would be on her break right about then.

  “Hey there. I was thinking, you know, maybe we could do what we did the other night again sometime. You know?”

  “Well, actually, since it seems like we’re getting serious, I told my parents about you. They want to meet you,” her eyebrows raised, eager to hear my response.

  “Oh, yeah? I just told my mom about you. She said you have a pretty name.”

  She smiled. “Well, this weekend my parents are coming into town to visit, and I was hoping we could get together for dinner, maybe spend a day or two altogether. They seem pretty excited to meet you, and you know how parents can be.”

  Shit. This weekend? Of all weekends. The dilemma burst upon me suddenly and there was nothing I could do about it. She could tell there something wrong, her eyes narrowed. “What? Are you busy this weekend?”

  “Uh….well….kind of,” I stumbled out the words.

  The disappointment that came across her face was evident. I knew I was ruining a big opportunity for myself.

  “What do you have going on?”

  I knew my excuse would sound lame to her, but I figured I better tell her truth. “Well, have you ever heard of Halley’s Comet…?”

  Her disappointment turned into anger, her jaw dropping down. “You’re telling me you’d rather spend your weekend looking through your stupid telescope than getting to know your girlfriend’s parents? Is that the kind of asshole you are?” Her calm tone had risen significantly in volume.

  “Babe, it’s not like that, you gotta understand, you can only see it every seventy-five years…”

  “Delvon, no one cares. You’re smart and all, but you are ignorant when it comes to relationships. I don’t know what I was thinking…”

  “No, Claire, it’s okay,” my voice became desperate, “we can spend time with them during the day maybe? I’m sorry.”

  My apology wasn’t going to do any good. Her anger had now turned into some form of bewilderment.

  “I guess I’ll talk to you some other time. Thanks for nothing,” her hand came up to tap the button to hang up.

  “Wait, come on, give me a chance, –” I tried, but it was too late; she turned off her tablet and left me facing a blank screen on the other end.

  As if on cue, my father burst through the door, his face hot with rage.

  I’ll take a moment
to illustrate my father. He was shorter, middle aged and bald on the top. He wore glasses, adding to the bitter look he always had. His abdomen was somewhat swollen after years of not exercising. In contrast, though, he was usually an easy going guy, not quick to anger. His pissed-off look came from his work, the factory job he hated but could not escape to save his life. He managed to finish secondary school at 15. With no prospects, he joined his fellow wage slaves at the factory, marrying my mother and having me by the age of 20. I’m not sure what kind of hobbies he enjoyed other than watching television as a means of escape from the grim reality. His own parents had both died facing that reality. Family history seemed doomed to repeat itself. Except in my case. Maybe that was a bad thing…

  He saw me sitting at the kitchen table; let a heavy sigh escape his lungs.

  We looked at each other for a few seconds, sizing each other up. His face unexpectedly calmed.

  “So I ran into your mother on the way here,” he said finally, shrugging.

  “Uh huh.”

  “Yeah, yeah, cut the bullshit,” he waived his hand as if to throw my comment away.

  His eyes widened, looking at me expectantly.

  I took a deep breath. “Well, can you spare me the money or not?” I decided cutting to the chase was the best route to get around this.

  Strangely enough, he was still not angry with me. “How much do you need?”

  I continued being straightforward. “200 FEN should be enough to help me pay the rent and grocery bills.”

  He was silent, his face expressionless. It was like he was testing me, trying to break me in an interrogation.

  Finally after this awkward silence, he broke it, saying: “Okay. I’ll give you the 200 FEN. But mark my words, son: This is the last time. I mean it.”

  He had never sounded this final before. And why was he so calm?

  “Alright, thanks then. Can I be on my way?” I rose to leave.

  His hand rose to stop me. “Not so fast. Your mother also told me you got yourself a girlfriend.” An uncharacteristic smirk came to his lips. So this was why he was less angry than usual, perhaps some rare paternal pride on his part?