Trusting Jake (Blueprint To Love Book 1)

by Giordano, Lauren

  Whispering a silent prayer of thanks at its absence, Jen experienced more relief upon hearing Jake's message. Abrupt and to the point, his message revealed he'd be visiting job sites all day. But his tone clearly stated, 'Last night was a huge mistake. Don't even think about repeating it'.

  Relief trickling through her, she scanned messages, her confidence slowly returning as she refocused on work. She would get through this crisis. The problem with Jake was simple. Pretend nothing happened. There would be awkwardness for a minute, before they moved on. Problem solved.

  And the issue with Mona . . . she could deal with next week. Christmas was a busy time for every family. It would be easy enough to bow out of the invitation. Jen just had to remember to be prepared. Getting blindsided had thrown her off-balance. She wouldn't let that happen again. Problem solved.

  This time.

  ***

  She was drained and weary at the end of the day. Tossing her coat on the rocker, she kicked off her pumps before trailing into the kitchen to supervise her exuberant children. In her weakened state, she'd allowed them to talk her into fast food hamburgers for dinner. It hadn't taken much convincing, because tonight Jen didn't have the energy to argue.

  Once she got the kids squared away at the dining room table, she settled on a bowl of cereal for herself. Despite her preventive efforts, Alex still managed to squirt ketchup on the floor.

  "Just don't step in it, Al." Collapsing in her chair, she sighed. "It sure feels good to be home." She paused to spoon up a healthy bite of flakes.

  "Mom, can I call Jake after dinner?"

  Barely, she managed to keep the cereal inside her mouth, despite her face wanting to contort in a shriek of horror. "Meg, I don't want you two bothering Jake. Please try to remember he's very busy."

  "But, he's nice to us."

  She read the confusion in her eyes. "He is nice," she conceded. "But, that doesn't mean we should take advantage-"

  "He told us to call," Alex interrupted.

  Two against one, with odds clearly not in her favor. Jen held her ground. "He said only when it's important. After a long day, Jake is probably tired-"

  "It is important. We need to remind him about Saturday." Her daughter's animated voice cut her off.

  Huh? "What about Saturday?"

  "The tree, remember?" Two excited voices clamored for attention.

  "He's taking us to find our Christmas tree, don't you 'member?" Alex' voice was smug at her blank expression.

  Good Lord. The tree. That meant . . . a day in the woods with Jake. A long, uncomfortable day spent with the man who couldn't even face her this morning. Jen's blouse started clinging all over again. Moistening her suddenly dry throat, she crossed her fingers under the table. "I-I don't think Jake was serious about getting our tree. He's probably forgotten all about it."

  "But, Mommy. . . he promised." Megan's eyes filled with angry tears. "You promised! You said if we were good while you worked . . . we could g-go with Jake Saturday."

  "Sometimes things don't-" Heart pounding, she tried to regroup. At the time, it had sounded wonderful. A perfect Christmas fantasy . . . her kids picking out a tree with a gorgeous, kind, attentive dad stand-in. Spending a glorious day with the man she fantasized about. How could she have known the fantasy would morph to nightmare?

  She stared into disappointed, tear-filled eyes. Cereal forgotten, Jen knew she wouldn't be able to swallow around the knot of guilt. What could she do to fix it? Her only hope was offering something better. Better than a dad.

  "How about we get up early– and go out for breakfast . . . at a special place. Then, we'll pick out the biggest, best tree on the lot." Jenna tried to muster enthusiasm, knowing she was no match for the competition. "We'll have hot chocolate and you can both help decorate." Two sets of disillusioned eyes bored into her. Doggedly, she pressed on. "We can even go to the toy store for . . . a special toy. How about that?"

  Alex and Meg glanced at each other, before declaring 'no' in unison.

  Deflated, she turned from one to the other. "Picking out the tree should be a family day. Besides, Jake is a very busy man."

  "No, Mommy." Megan appointed herself spokesperson. "We want Jake. We can pick the tree with you anytime."

  Well, that hurt. A lot. Their enthusiasm for her boss was to be expected. To them, he was the sweetest treat in the candy shop window– offering a day of snowy fun and a ginormous Christmas tree. How could she compete? Reasoning and bribery had failed. What was her fallback plan?

  "Well, my answer is still no." Steeling her resolve, she leveled her children with the most solemn stare she could summon and issued her ultimatum. "I'm ordering you both– do not call Jake. Do not pester him about Saturday." Pausing to let the words sink in, she ignored their mutinous expressions. "If I find out you called him, I'll be very angry. And we won't-" What? What possible consequences were grave enough to ensure cooperation? "We won't even get a tree."

  Alex shot a glance at his sister that seemed to say 'I told you so'. "Too late, Mommy. We already left him a message."

  ***

  It had been a stupendously long day when Jake finally parked at the diner. Last on his schedule was dinner with the boys, then swinging by the office before finally heading home . . . hopefully by ten. As Jake locked the truck, the tantalizing aroma of meatloaf assaulted him and he had a fleeting memory of Jenna's dinner the previous night.

  Now, there was a great life, he fantasized. Home by six, dinner by seven. Someone waiting to greet him– maybe even a little anxious for him to arrive. He'd play with the kids, help with their homework. Come springtime, he'd be throwing the ball with Alex 'til it got dark outside-

  Christ- Throwing the ball with Alex?

  "Dude– you're friggin' nuts." What in sweet hell was he thinking? Abruptly, Jake turned on his heel, nearly sprinting back to the truck. Jerking the door open, he snatched up his phone. As he rifled through his planner, his heart began pumping with anger. "I'm settling this thing once and for all."

  Finding the number he sought, Jake punched it in. It rang only twice before someone picked up. A beautiful someone. A someone with a very nice voice. "Hey, Beth?"

  He winced when she spoke a moment later. "Bev, right. Sorry about that. How've you been?" Dragging in a ragged breath, he forced himself to relax. "This is Jake Tray- Oh, you remember?" Making himself comfortable when she interrupted, Jake sat on the edge of the seat. "Yeah, I've been busy, too."

  This was it. The start of something new. Something tangible. Hopefully, something that had a future– with a woman he had a shot with. And, if she wasn't the one, at least he'd start enjoying the perks that went along with finding out. "Are you free Saturday night?"

  A few more minutes passed before he could get her off the phone. As Jake retraced his steps to the restaurant, he couldn't help muttering under his breath. "Take that, Jenna Stone."

  ***

  "I'm beat." The meeting with Jeff and Harry had gone well. It had gone on too long, but at least it had been productive. Jake tossed his notes on the passenger seat. Checking his watch, he decided to skip the office.

  Finally, he could head home. There, he could complete his notes from the meeting while they were still fresh, so they'd be ready for Jen to make sense of in the morning. Much to his relief, his partners were not as unhappy with the Baltimore deal as he'd suspected. His cousin's dire predictions on profitability had toned down. Properly run, they agreed the job would be profitable. Still, it had been good to clear the air, discussing the potential problems before Jake assigned a project manager. After tonight, he was seriously considering managing it himself.

  Retrieving his cell, he scrolled through his messages from the office and dug out his legal pad. Groaning when the computerized voice mail announced fourteen messages, he forwarded several to Jenna without scribbling a note. He paused to frown over that realization. Increasingly, he handed off more responsibility to her, never thinking twice whether she could handle it.

&nbs
p; "Thank God her car broke down," he muttered, deleting another message. His competitor's loss had been Specialty's gain. Personal issues aside, Jen was a fantastic assistant. She was performing at the level of a project engineer. If he did decide to manage the Baltimore job, it would largely be due to her. She would make it happen. They really were a great team.

  So, why the hell would he risk losing her? If he surrendered to the temptation of her, that's exactly what would happen. He'd lose her. He'd lose the best assistant he'd ever had. And, since there was zero hope of a lasting relationship, he'd lose on that end, too. Craving a married woman was new territory for him.

  The realization gave him a grim jolt. Jake had never been in this kind of predicament before. He didn't have to sleep with her to know he'd never be able to live with himself. Her marriage couldn't disintegrate because of him. No way could he be responsible for that. "Even if it's a lousy one," he muttered.

  Sleeping with Jenna would ruin everything– wreaking havoc at work and destroying her family. Not that he gave a damn about her deadbeat husband, he admitted, tugging restless fingers through his hair. But her kids . . . were a different story. He would never do anything to harm them. With an absentee father, they were hurting enough already. Jake remembered well enough how he'd felt when Linc had announced they were divorcing.

  His heart had taken a free-fall to the pit of his stomach– and he'd been an adult. He remembered wondering how it could happen in his family. As though they were somehow different from everyone else. Immune to the odds. Married twenty-four years– happily, he'd thought. What the hell broke up a couple at that point? Jake still didn't get it. Throughout the process, he and Jeff had been sick over it. Until the day Mona announced she'd be marrying again.

  George. Some guy named George was marrying his mother. That day, the sick feeling in his stomach had turned to anger. How could she abandon his father now? When he was old–when he'd finally reached the point where he could slow down. How could you love someone . . . and then dump him?

  The irony of Jake's current situation wasn't lost on him.

  If he pursued Jen . . . he was no better. The admission was enough to send chills skating up his spine as he started the engine against the raw, December cold. Wearily, he resumed his messages, deleting two more, sending Jenna three. Until the last one.

  "Jake . . . uh hi! This is Alex. . . Stone. And um . . . me and Meg, we were wonderin'. . ." During a long pause, Jake couldn't help smiling when he heard Megan's emphatic voice in the background. Already dishing out orders at her tender age.

  "We wanted to know if– shut up, Megan. I'm talkin'." There was a loud clatter while they wrestled with the phone. "Hi, Jake. This is Megan. Are you coming over Saturday? Cuz, you know– you promised you'd take us to find our Christmas tree. . . an-"

  "Hey, this is Alex again. We really need you to call . . . and tell us what time, cuz it's only two days away. . . and um. . ." Jake cracked up while he pictured Alex trying to think up something urgent. ". . .Mommy really needs to know the time." The rest of his message was hurried, almost as though Alex were afraid they were about to get caught. "So– call us back right now, okay?"

  The tree. He'd forgotten about his promise. Hell, his suggestion had been innocent enough at the time. The kids would have a blast out at the farm. They could make a huge deal out of picking the perfect tree and he'd cut it down for them. He'd wanted to give them something special . . . one day they wouldn't spend thinking about their dad not being around. And the thought of a whole day with their mother had been too good to resist. He'd been as eager as the kids– wanting to discover what Jen was like when she was relaxed and casual. Of course, his plan had been conceived before the kiss.

  "Just when you think life can't get more complicated." He rubbed his forehead, suddenly feeling exhausted. Two minutes had changed everything. He'd kissed her for two minutes. Two lousy, incredible, amazing minutes. "Maybe less," he muttered. Now the thought of spending a day with Jen . . . was pure torture.

  What would he say to her? Aside from the awkwardness, Jake was suddenly unsure how he felt. Should he be angry with Jen for giving in so quickly? Or with himself for being unable to resist her? Maybe it was the raw, stomach-churning frustration eating him up . . . because they'd been forced to stop. Would he be able to keep his hands off her? Or would he want her more than ever? And what about Jen? There was a good chance she was completely sickened by his actions. What if she didn't believe they could work together anymore?

  "I've already blown it." There was always the unlikely possibility Jen wouldn't be able to keep her hands off him. How would he handle that situation? Disgusted, he shook his head. Yeah, right. In his dreams.

  Still– what if he was wrong? What if Jenna wanted to cheat on her husband? The thought sent a chill of unease down his spine. What if she already was? He shook his head. No way. Not the type. He couldn't be wrong about that.

  They clearly had serious issues in their marriage . . . issues Jen wasn't comfortable discussing. By his own stupid, weak actions, he'd left the impression he was available and interested.

  Dammit, he was interested. But– hell if he'd be available. He would have to make it crystal clear he wouldn't play that game. Ever. Thank God he'd made the date with Beth . . . hell– Bev? He shook his head to clear it. "Whatever."

  But, what should he do about Saturday? Jake drove through the nearly empty lot and headed for home. "Hell if I know."

  ***

  After a mostly sleepless night, Jake still wasn't sure. Actually, he did know. He just didn't like it. Locking his truck, he crossed the parking lot. "You can't break a promise," he muttered. What had happened with Jenna wasn't the kids' fault. Taking it out on them would be cruel. He'd also been looking forward to showing them his family's farm. It would be the first Saturday in months he didn't spend the day in his office.

  Passing the darkened reception desk, he walked back to his office. The light was already shining in Jen's office. His pulse thudded in his ears. The moment of truth already. God, was he sweating?"

  "Good morning," he said quietly. "You're here awfully early."

  She raised startled eyes to meet his. "Hi. I didn't hear you come in."

  "Do you always get here so early?"

  Jen smiled then, a wan, strained version unlike her usual, easygoing smile. "Usually by seven-thirty."

  Jake noticed her gaze didn't rest on him any longer than necessary. She was having as much trouble as he was.

  "You . . . uh. . . have messages on your desk that need a call-back today. The rest I've taken care of." She stared at him purposefully then, the spark of determination unmistakable in her fathomless blue eyes. Relief poured through him, his shoulders relaxing for the first time in two days. Jenna was challenging him. To move on. She didn't want to discuss the other night any more than he did. Thank God– she wasn't leaving him. He wouldn't lose her.

  "Willoughby's making noise about a meeting up in Baltimore the week after Christmas."

  He reined in his thoughts long enough to answer. "Um. . . all right. Give me an hour or so to clean off my desk and then we can take a look at my calendar."

  Nodding, she turned back to the open file on her desk. The movement of her head captured his attention as he turned to leave. The mass of auburn hair was knotted tight, the coppery strands sparking in the morning sunshine. By noon, he knew the pins would loosen and the long, curling tendrils would finally slip free of their restraint.

  He remembered too well the silky feel of its fiery weight. Without effort, he recalled the scent, had breathed deeply to capture it, knowing even then, it would likely be the only chance he ever got that close. Jake remembered the warm, satiny skin, the softness of her lush curves, the thrill of her arms wrapped around his neck, tugging him closer. The brief moment when she wanted him as desperately as he'd needed her.

  Walking the few steps to his office, he closed the door. Leaning back against it, he heard it click shut. He wouldn't lose her; his qui
et, capable assistant, and for that he was grateful. That first awkward moment . . . they'd gotten past it. He released a deep breath, expecting to feel relief. But, it was a sharp stab of regret that caught him in the chest. In the very moment he'd salvaged something critically important to his existence, Jake realized he'd lost something far more valuable. He'd lost Jen, the vibrant, beautiful woman. He'd lost her forever.

  ***

  Jake heard the soft tap on the door and checked his watch. It was nearly six. When Jenna stuck her head around the door, he steeled himself for the conversation. At least it would be brief. She had to pick up the kids.

  "I'm leaving. Do you need anything else?"

  Bracing himself, he tossed his pencil on the scarred desktop. "Can we talk? I know you need to go, but this won't take long."

  "Sure." Jenna's soft cheeks flushed pink as she reluctantly entered his office.

  Taking a deep breath, he plunged in. "I–I don't know what to say about the other night, except that I'm truly sorry. I've tried to come up with a logical explanation . . . but there isn't one. I– lost my mind for a few minutes. I know that's no excuse." He stopped her when she would have jumped in. "Just hear me out. I think our working relationship is special. We– we're a great team . . . and I'd hate to think I've ruined that by doing something stupid."

  Jesus, he just wanted to get through this without embarrassing her further. "I give you my word nothing like that will ever happen again. I respect the fact you're married. I'm ashamed I forgot about it. . . even for a moment."

  "Jake– please let me explain-"

  It wasn't working. She was going to tell him she was leaving him. Desperate, he continued. "I hope you can forgive me. If you want a new position-"

  "I don't," she interrupted.

  "I don't want you to leave," he confessed. "I hope we can still work together because I'd really . . . miss you– if you weren't here. You have so much talent. I want to see you succeed. I know you will," he amended. "I'd just like it to be here with us."

  She sat down carefully, perched on the edge of the chair facing his desk. When she raised her gaze to his, her blush deepened and she averted her eyes. Summoning her courage, she dragged in a deep breath. And Jake crossed his fingers.