Trusting Jake (Blueprint To Love Book 1)

by Giordano, Lauren

  She'd dropped out for him. And he'd repaid the favor by alienating her from her parents– her support system. How old could she have been? Twenty?

  "Anyway, they're gone. And my brothers are scattered all over the country. I rarely get to see them anymore. David's in Delaware, Dan's in LA-"

  "How many brothers do you have?" He held his breath, praying Jen wouldn't realize she was exchanging information . . . that she was truly talking with him for the first time.

  "Three. Billy, Dan and David. All older than me. I was the baby." She laughed when Alex launched a half-hearted snowball down the hill. They were still safely out of range, but she dropped to her knees and started scooping up snow anyway. "Totally over-protected me. Unfortunately, by the time I should've been old enough to screen out the bad ones, I was still clueless."

  Bad ones? Guys? Did she mean Rick? "So, what are they like? They look like you?"

  "They're funny . . . and smart and successful. We all have red hair, except for Dan. David's married, finally. I think poor Sandy had just about given up on ever getting a ring out of him. He dated her for something like four years. My brother Billy's an electrician." Jen winged a snowball up the hill before turning back, her expression surprised. "You met my brother Dan, remember? But, it was only for a minute. He answered the door the night you stopped by?"

  Jake's heart jumped a beat. Her brother? He would've sworn that had been her husband. "Oh yeah– the real tall guy." The suit. "The kids were pretty excited to see him." They'd called him 'dad'. Or maybe– it had been 'Dan'.

  "He's my favorite brother, but we hardly ever get to see him," she explained, oblivious to his sudden sense of relief. "He drops in a few times a year . . . always on his way somewhere else."

  "What does he do?"

  She shrugged. "Something complicated with mergers. Dan's one of those millionaire-by-the-time-he-reached-thirty types."

  He suddenly pulled Jenna closer, tucking her against his chest while he pivoted away from the hill. Seconds later they were pelted with snowballs from above. "Damn. Your kid's sure got a good arm." Jake winced when Megan drilled him between the shoulder blades. "Does she play softball yet?"

  "N-not yet, no. I was thinking maybe in the spring."

  He released her just as quickly, unwilling to risk their fragile truce. Surprised by how much Jen had revealed, he didn't want to scare her off. There'd been a distinct flash of worry in her eyes before she bent to scoop up more snow.

  Distance, he realized. She needed a little space. Jake cupped his hands to his mouth so he'd be heard above the children's laughter. "Okay, guys. This means war. I'm comin' after you." In a hail of snowballs, he charged up the hill to a chorus of shrieks. Jen's laughter caught on the wind, floating up the hill as he left her far behind. When she finally neared the ridge, she was out of breath, but her eyes were sparkling at the sound of Megan's giggling. By the time she'd finished her climb, he had Megan upside down and was brushing her hair against the snow. She squealed in mock fright when he threatened to drop her.

  "Whatcha gonna do now?" Red-gold hair splayed against the pristine snow. Jake glanced from daughter to mother and back again. Megan was a beautiful little girl, with Jen's hair and coloring and those serious eyes. She possessed the same quiet intelligence– always thinking, but almost hesitant to speak.

  "I won't hit you again," she promised, her guileless blue eyes lit with excitement. "Put me down," she squealed. In a few years that smile, so like her mother's, would wreak havoc on more than one poor teenage boy.

  "You promise?" Glancing at Jen, his stomach knotted. Her ponytail holder had slipped free during the snowball fight. Her glorious hair was loose, cascading down her shoulders. Her cheeks were flushed pink from the cold air, her eyes as blue as the sky overhead. And her smile made his heart flop over in his chest. This was the real Jen. She was warm and loving and so damn beautiful. With a hollow ache of regret, Jake realized again what he would never have.

  Her. He would never have her.

  He wanted to memorize her face– freeze this moment in his mind forever. Before they returned to the real world, he wished to remain in this fantasy. Before they went back to being polite strangers, Jake wanted to pretend they were a family. Sighing, he reluctantly directed his attention back to Megan as he set her gently in the snow.

  "If you're through pelting me with snowballs, we still have a tree to find."

  ***

  "I can't remember a day as fun as today." Jenna smiled as she turned her gaze from the scenery whizzing by. The kids were quiet in the backseat, completely drained of energy. Playing in the snow and helping Jake drag their tree back to the cabin had exhausted them. "Thank you so much, Jake. We had a wonderful time."

  "I'm glad you enjoyed it. I did too. I haven't been out to the farm in a couple months. Makes me realize what I'm missing."

  "The kids will never forget it. I hope you realize you've created a monster. Alex won't let up, come spring. He'll drive you nuts about planting those Christmas trees." Jake's broad smile only added to his attraction. She'd been admiring his profile, sneaking quick glances while he paid attention to the road. But, head-on, he was absolutely devastating– sending tingles of awareness down her spine.

  "I'll be looking forward to it." He lowered his voice conspiratorially. "Wait until he finds out we have horses."

  "Keep it down," she teased. "He'll want to move out there with you."

  He shot a glance to the backseat. "I would have introduced them to the kids today, but we spent so much time in the fields, there wasn't time." He smiled. "If the snow holds out, we'll be saddling them up next week for Christmas. My dad has a sled we like to take out."

  A beautiful red sled, Jen remembered. But Jake might get annoyed if he knew Mona had spilled family secrets. And she didn't want him annoyed. The day had been too perfect. She couldn't bear the thought of ruining it. "What are their names?"

  "Moe and Larry." He shot her a glance. "Larry's the girl."

  She smiled. "What? No Curly?"

  "A woman who knows her Stooges. Be still my heart." Jake checked his mirror before continuing his explanation. "We actually had a Curly, but he had a nasty temper, so we gave him to a neighbor. He's fine as long as he's the only horse in the barn. We replaced him with a horse named Juniper."

  Too soon, they'd arrived back in Stafford. Too soon, Jake was pulling into her driveway. Jenna hated for it to be over. For a day she'd been dreading, she was surprised at the pang of regret over it ending.

  Switching off the engine, he glanced over. "I'll help you get the tree into the stand. Al said something about you wrestling with it last year."

  "Are you sure? I'm not as bad as he makes me out to be." She glanced over her shoulder at her sleepy son, still resting in the backseat.

  "No problem. Let's get the kids inside and I'll bring in the tree."

  Jenna smiled in the kitchen as he went to work on the tree. She hadn't realized it before, but Jake apparently whistled when he was puttering around. She'd never heard it at work, but at the farm, she'd heard it several times. He was doing it now, as he set up her tree stand. Switching on the oven, she opened the refrigerator, removing the pan of stew she'd prepared early that morning. Sometimes, rising before dawn had its advantages. In an hour, dinner would be ready.

  The gloriously heady scent of pine was rapidly filling the house with the smell of Christmas. Megan was already searching through the ornament box when she entered the living room– just in time to rescue Jake from her son's helping hands. "Need some help?"

  Jake was on his stomach under the tree. "Yeah. Hey, Sport. Why don't you let your mom hold the tree up because I need you to keep watch and tell me if it's crooked."

  Reluctantly, Alex relinquished the tree. She bit back a smile when he earnestly explained how she was supposed to hold the branches. "As soon as we're done, I'll make hot chocolate, okay?"

  Jake crawled around for several minutes, intent on setting her tree perfectly straight. Shaki
ng her head, she smiled. He was worse than Alex. Each time he plowed into her, she was forced to climb over his legs. And each time, the tree tilted precariously. She tried to keep her mind on task– tried not to enjoy the sight of him. But watching felt too good. He was so strong and capable, the muscles in his back taut against his straining shirt. Grateful he was down on the floor, Jen knew her cheeks were burning as she tried desperately to avoid eye contact with his butt and legs. But, wrapped in faded jeans, his incredible anatomy was damn near irresistible. Just thinking about him made her heart start pounding crazily.

  "Mommy! Hold it straight."

  "Relax, Al." She peered down through the branches. "Jake. . . are you sure it's going to fit in the stand?"

  "We're good," he announced. "Another couple minutes. Don't let go."

  Content to let her mind wander, she realized how easygoing he was to be around, how fun he'd been all day. No wonder her kids loved him. And Jake genuinely liked them in return. How different from Rick . . . from any of the men she'd known before. Jake was fair and honest. He treated her with respect. Remembering the last Christmas with Rick she shivered. He'd been moody and withdrawn. And so critical. Their entire marriage, she'd done nothing right. Another year and dozens of sleepless nights later, Jen had finally admitted the truth. She hadn't done anything wrong. Rick had been too self-absorbed to love anyone– her or their children.

  Her eyes filling with tears, Jen quickly turned to the window, blindly swiping them as she willed away the memories. What was wrong with her? A dead man still held the power to make her feel stupid and worthless.

  "Mommy– the tree!"

  Jen startled at her son's shrill cry. Turning to see the commotion, she was knocked flat when the tree crashed down on top of her. Her nose filled with the scent of pine as she pushed ineffectually at the branches pinning her down.

  "Jeez. . . Jen! Are you all right?" Jake scrambled to his feet, quickly jerking the heavy tree from her. She rolled free, hastily scrubbing her eyes as she got to her feet.

  "I– I'm fine," she hastened to reassure him. "My mind wandered. I'm sorry. I forgot– and I let go for a second."

  "Are you sure you're not hurt? I thought I had it more secure than that."

  Laughing, Jen shook pine needles from her hair. "Really. I'm okay. I feel a little stupid, that's all."

  "Mommy– I told you to hold on," Alex accused.

  "Hey, Sport– don't talk to your mom like that. It was an accident." Jake tussled Alex' hair, taking the sting from his words. "Come on. We'll get it back up in no time." He called Megan over to take a turn holding the tree. "Let's give your mom a rest."

  Glancing up, she discovered she was still under Jake's scrutiny and quickly jerked her gaze away. Not now. Not when she was feeling so vulnerable and stupid. Why had she thought of Rick? They'd had a perfect day. Why couldn't she forget? He was dead and gone. He would never hurt them again.

  "Why don't I start the hot chocolate?" She needed a breather. Just a minute to clear her head and she'd be fine. She might even be able to summon enough courage to invite Jake to stay for dinner. It wasn't part of their original plan– but the thought of spending more time with him was irresistible. A perfect end to the perfect day.

  ***

  Jenna was still in the kitchen ten minutes later when Jake went searching. He'd spent the last few minutes securing the tree in the stand and wondering whether she was really okay. Though she'd assured him she was fine . . . her expressive eyes had been drenched in sorrow. What had she been thinking to make her so unhappy? Had he done something? Said something? They'd had such an incredible day together.

  He found her on her hands and knees, head deep inside a cabinet. Crouching down, he opened the adjacent door and stuck his head in. "Can I help you find something?"

  She yelped in surprise before cracking up. "I was looking for marshmallows. Al's mad enough about the tree. He'll be really upset if I don't make his hot chocolate right."

  Jake shook his head as they withdrew from the cabinet simultaneously. "Tree's all set. She's solid as a rock. You sure you didn't get hurt?"

  "Just my pride." Plopped on the kitchen floor, cross-legged, Jen looked about eighteen. "Thanks for taking care of the set-up. I guess it's pretty obvious Christmas trees aren't my specialty."

  Taking her hand, he acknowledged the fleeting sense of rightness as he pulled her to her feet. "I'm glad Traynor Tree Service could assist. Shall I pencil you in for next year?"

  "That's probably not a bad idea." She laughed. "Maybe we could work a trade? Can I interest you in dinner after the wonderful day you've given us?"

  Jake's heartbeat accelerated, an instant spark of happiness igniting in his chest at the thought of prolonging his time with her. He'd build them a fire. After dinner they could sit in her cozy living room and admire the tree. The kids could toast marshmallows . . . And maybe, if the stars aligned, he'd discover a few more clues to the secret life of Jenna Stone.

  "I'd love to stay. Are you sure it's no troub-" Stopping dead in the middle of his sentence, he remembered. He had a date tonight. The images in his head of the perfect evening slowly dissolved. The sweet moment of anticipation fizzled out. A date with Bev– the Jenna substitute. The woman who was supposed to take his mind off the one he really wanted.

  "Something wrong?"

  "Jen. . . I just remembered. I can't stay." He shook his head in disbelief. This couldn't be happening. The progress he'd made would screech to a halt. Her openness. The tentative trust she'd shown- It would all disappear. Jen would return to work Monday, back to business as usual. "I'd much rather-"

  "It's okay," she offered hastily. "I should've realized you'd have plans. I mean– it's Saturday night, right? We've taken up most of your day."

  Take it all. "I just remembered that I committed to someone . . . something else tonight. I wish I could get out of it." Real smooth, Jake. Make an awkward moment worse. Cursing his gaffe, her eyes widened in understanding. Jen's smile no longer reached her eyes. That moment, Jake acknowledged the magical day was officially over. The tiny window she'd opened for him was now shuttered.

  "I hope you have a great evening." Stepping around him, she walked into the foyer. "Let me get your coat."

  ***

  Jenna mentally shook her head for the hundredth time. Had Saturday really happened? Or had it all been a dream? Perhaps she and Jake had occupied an alternate dimension for that brief, glorious day. Every time she passed the beautiful tree, each time she breathed in the pine permeating her house, she wondered. Because the Jake she was stuck with back in reality bore absolutely no resemblance to the kind, considerate, wonderful man she'd spent time with Saturday.

  Reality Jake was a bear. Cold and distant and polite. For three long days, there had been no jokes, no banter. There'd been no smiles. He'd been unfailingly polite, yet at the same time, surly and short with her. As though occupying the same space suddenly bothered him tremendously.

  Maybe it was the Baltimore deal. Willoughby was turning up the pressure. He wanted a meeting and he wasn't willing to wait. Holidays be damned. With Christmas only three days away, Willoughby wanted Jake in Baltimore before the new year. Jen wondered whether he would expect her to go. It was hard enough resisting him when he was friendly. To be so close to him and not reveal her feelings. But, in a bad mood. . .

  She rose from her desk and stretched. Being around Jake when he was cold and distant was even worse. It didn't stop her from wanting to soothe him. It didn't stop her from loving him, but his rejection hurt twice as much.

  Thinking about Mona's plan to corner him at Christmas, she shivered. Jen was tempted to warn her off. There was no way Mona would emerge victorious, not if Jake was still in a black mood by the weekend.

  When her phone rang, she reached for it. "Hi, Mona. I'm fine." Distracted, she sank back into her chair. "Uh . . . no. We– I still don't know about Rick." Crossing her fingers, Jenna floundered for an excuse . . . any excuse for why she couldn't possibly
spend Christmas Day with the entire Traynor clan. With Jake– surly, silent Jake. An endless day spent longing for something she could never have.

  "Mona– I-" Hesitating when she heard footsteps behind her, she felt Jake's brooding presence before she turned to confirm it. His gaze burned intently as he waited for her to finish the call. "Thank you for the invitation for Christmas Day. You're very kind. I just don't know if-"

  Guilt weighing heavy, she was suspended in time, trapped in the conversation with Mona as Jake continued to stand there, not bothering to hide his eavesdropping. Taking a deep breath, Jen interrupted. "And I appreciate the thought. I'm sure the kids would love it."

  Risking a glance at him, she shrugged when he scowled. "Mona, I'm sorry, but I couldn't get a sitter for your party tomorrow night. About Christmas . . . can I let you know in the morning?"

  When she finally hung up, Jen released a shuddering breath, praying he would be miraculously gone when she turned back. No such luck. "Did you want something?"

  "I need you in Baltimore next Tuesday. We'll probably leave Monday afternoon. You'll have to arrange some sort of daycare thing, because we'll be there through Wednesday, at least. Maybe Thursday."

  "I– uh . . . okay." She nodded, her heart plunging to her toes. Dear God . . . what would she do with the kids?

  "Will that be a problem?"

  As though sensing her panic, the challenge in his voice was unmistakable. She stiffened over his inference. "I knew travel was a possibility when I accepted this job," she answered, her voice icy. "Could I meet you there Tuesday?"

  "I thought we'd travel together . . . but if you can be there by eight that morning, I don't see a problem."

  That meant getting a sitter to the house by five am. She had the uncomfortable feeling he was reading her thoughts. Though her body wanted to sag in defeat, Jen refused to reveal her desperation. "I'll let you know what I work out." Defiantly, she met his implacable gaze. "Is that all?"

  "What did my mother want?"