by Greg Proops
Nero, 1-2, 169
Network (movie), 246
Newman, Paul, 247
Noreiga, Manuel, 254
Obama, Barack, 192, 249
Ohio Players, 58-59
Gold, 58-59
oligarchy, 17
onomatopoeia, 19
Orwell, George, 20, 121
1984, 20, 121
Orwellian, 20
Out of the Past (movie), 29-30
Ovid, 45-46
“In Summer’s Heat,” 45-46
Owens, Iris, 125-26
After Claude, 125-26
Oxford comma, 64
Pacino, Al, 245-46, 247
Paige, Satchel, 4-5, 221-37, 241, 242, 243
Picasso, Pablo, La Rêve, 283-85
Pinochet, Augusto, 256
Plato, 6
plutocracy, 16-17
Poe, Edgar Allan, 67-72
“The Raven,” 68-72
poetry, 5-6
Matsuo Bashō, 215-16
Charles Baudelaire, 55-56
William Blake, 207-11
Dante Alighieri, 195-96
Emily Dickinson, 265-66
Inuit, 259-60
Ovid, 45-46
Edgar Allan Poe, 67-72
Carl Sandburg, 271-72
Sappho, 155-57
William Shakespeare, 185-86
Ernest Lawrence Thayer, 99-102
François Villon, 171-73
Point Break (movie), 113-14
Pollyanna, 16
Pompey the Great, 161, 163
poop, 23
possum, 15
Potocki, Jan, 130-31
The Manuscript Found in Saragossa, 130-31
Presidential Baseball Team, All-Time, 191-93
Proople Rain, 294
Proops Commandments, The, 1-11
Prooptionary I, 13-23
Prooptionary II, 63-65
puke, 23
punctuation, 63-65
punk music, 187-89
Ramones, Rocket to Russia, 188-89
R&B music, 57-61
Reagan, Ronald, 192
Redding, Richard “Cannonball,” 242
Reed, Lou, Transformer, 142-43
reggae music, 267, 269
Renoir, Jean, 28-29
Richard the Lionhearted, King of England, 183
Rigg, Diana, 37
Rivera, Mariano, 106
Robinson, Bruce, 198
Robinson, Jackie, 79, 83, 88-89, 108, 232-33, 235
rock music, 267-69
Rodenbach, Georges, 120
Bruges-la-Morte, 120
Rogan, Charles Wilber “Bullet,” 243
Roman Emperor Top Nine, 167-69
Rome, 1-2, 159-65, 167-69
Roosevelt, Franklin D., 191
Roosevelt, Teddy, 192
Rose, Pete, 92-93, 139
Rushmore (movie), 197-98
Russell, Jane, 42
Ruth, Babe, 80, 82-85, 96, 105, 222, 225, 237, 241
Sacagawea, 217
Samouraï, Le (movie), 179
Sandburg, Carl, 271-72
“Chicago,” 271-72
San Francisco Giants, 74-76
Sappho, 155-57
“Blame Aphrodite,” 157
“A Hymn to Venus,” 155-57
Satana, Tura, 43
Schmidt, Mike, 96, 104
Scott, Ridley, 111-12
Scott-Heron, Gil, Winter in America, 275-76
Seaver, Tom, 106
Serpico (movie), 247
Seurat, Georges, A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte, 280
Seuss, Dr., 123-24
The Sneetches and Other Stories, 123-24
Seventh Seal, The (movie), 179
Sex Pistols, Never Mind the Bollocks, 187
Shakespeare, William, 185-86
“Sonnet 18: Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer’s Day?,” 186
“Sonnet 151,” 186
Simone, Nina, In Concert, 276-77
Sly & the Family Stone, 61
Anthology, 61
Smith, Hilton Lee, 243
Some Like It Hot (movie), 109
soul music, 57-61
Stalin, Josef, 257
Steers, Burr, 199-200
Steinbrenner, George, 135
Stengel, Casey, 73, 103
stoked, 23
Stone, Susan, 36
Suharto, 255
Süskind, Patrick, 129
Perfume: The Story of a Murderer, 129
swerve, 14-15
T. Rex, Electric Warrior, 141-42
Taylor, Elizabeth, 41
Thayer, Ernest Lawrence, 99-102
“Casey at the Bat,” 100-102
Thelma & Louise (movie), 111-12
Thomas, Lewis, 64
Three Musketeers, The (movie), 199
Tiberius, 2, 168
Torriente, Cristóbal, 240-41
Tourneur, Jacques, 29-30
Trajan, 169
Triumphal Quadriga, 282
Truffaut, François, 177-78
Trujillo, Rafael, 254
Tubman, Harriet, 217
Verdict, The (movie), 247
Vestal Virgins, 161
Vidor, Charles, 30-31
Villon, François, 171-73
“The Ballad of Dead Ladies,” 172-73
“To Death, of His Lady,” 172
Vinterberg, Thomas, 176-77
vodka, 291-94
recipes, 292-94
von Donnersmarck, Florian Henckel, 176
Vonnegut, Kurt, A Man Without a Country, 8
Waddell, Rube, 80, 81
Wagner, Honus, 104
weed, 250
Welch, Raquel, 40
West, Mae, 36
whatnot, 13-14
Wilder, Billy, 109
Williams, Robin, 249
Williams, Smokey Joe, 242
Williams, Ted, 86-87, 107, 235
William the Conqueror, King of England, 184
Wilson, Edith, 193
Withnail & I (movie), 198
women, 8-10
Bombshells, Doxies, and Dames Baseball Club, 35-44
With a Capital W, 145-54
Women in History Baseball Team, 217-20
See also specific women
words, 10
to banish, 22-23
Prooptionary I, 13-23
Prooptionary II, 63-65
punctuation, 63-65
See also specific words
World War II, 87-88, 152-54
www, 64
Wynn, Early, 139
Xanax, 251
Xenophon, Anabasis, 1
Young, Cy, 107
TOUCHSTONE
An Imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
1230 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10020
www.SimonandSchuster.com
Copyright © 2015 by Gregory Proops
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Touchstone Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020.
First Touchstone hardcover edition May 2015
TOUCHSTONE and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949 or [email protected].
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Jacket design by Pete Garceau
Jacket photograph by Andrew Stapp
Sunglasses design by Jennifer Canaga
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Proops, Greg.
The smartest book in the world : a lexicon of literacy, a rancorous reportage, a concise curriculum of cool / Greg Proops ; illustrations by Jennife
r Canaga.—First Touchstone hardcover edition.
pages cm
1. American wit and humor. I. Title.
PN6165.P76 2015
818'.602—dc23
2014038428
ISBN 978-1-4767-4704-0
ISBN 978-1-4767-4706-4 (ebook)