Undeniable Rush

by S. C. Stephens

  A bright smile took over my face when Hayden appeared in the doorway. He was so cute when he first woke up, his shaggy blonde hair all sexy and disheveled, wearing a ratty T-shirt and loose lounge pants, his hand to his mouth, covering a yawn. “Hi,” I cheerily told him, not feeling the least bit tired. I’d already been up for a couple hours.

  Giving me a sleepy grin, he murmured, “Hi,” then stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me. His warmth and comfort instantly flooded my senses, and I closed my eyes, drinking him in as I returned his hug. This was my favorite part of the day.

  “Good morning,” he whispered in my ear, his breath tickling my skin.

  A shiver went through me as I clenched him tight. “Morning.”

  Pulling back to look at me, Hayden frowned. “You’re here for Nikki, aren’t you?” He seemed so disheartened by that fact, like he already missed me.

  Cupping his cheek, I nodded. Then I shook my head. “I’m here for both of you.”

  That made him smile, and leaning forward, he gave me a soft kiss. I reveled in the tender exchange, then reluctantly pulled away. “While I’d love to kiss you all morning, I’d better collect Nikki before she ducks out a window.”

  Hayden laughed, then stopped and nodded in agreement. Holding hands, we walked into the apartment. “Nik? You ready?” I asked. Silence answered me.

  With a sigh, I looked up at Hayden. He shrugged. “I thought she was here, but maybe she already slipped out?”

  Irritation pricked my skin, and, dropping his hand, I strode down the hallway to her bedroom. When I opened the door, the covers on her bed moved, like the person they were hiding was trying to burrow into the mattress. Rolling my eyes, I sauntered over to the bed and pulled off the comforter. Nikki was curled into a ball, trying to be as small and inconspicuous as her plump body would allow. Blinking her eyes, she peeked up at me. “Oh hey, Kenzie. I didn’t know you were here.”

  I raised a pointed eyebrow at her, then relaxed my expression. “Ready to go?”

  Still dressed in her pajamas, it was clear she wasn’t ready to go anywhere. If she thought that would deter me, though, she was dead wrong—I’d drag her down there in her comfy fleece pants if needed. Nikki seemed to understand that as she looked up at me. With an annoyed groan, she uncurled her body. “Almost…”

  Smiling, I stepped back so she could get up. “Is Myles meeting us here or there?” I asked as she grudgingly got out of bed.

  “There,” she murmured, trudging to her dresser.

  I kind of wished he was coming here, another set of hands corralling her wouldn’t be a bad thing. “Okay, well, I’ll be in the living room waiting for you.” She nodded, and I turned to leave. Pausing, I twisted around and told her, “Don’t take too long, Nik. We really do need to go.”

  She gave me an exasperated look, but then nodded. Nikki liked being late, while I liked being early. But Nikki knew this was important. Otherwise she would have fought me more.

  I could hear Hayden in his room when I left Nikki, so I headed that way. He was standing by a box of clothes, shirtless, buttoning his jeans. The defined lines of his abs stole my focus, and I couldn’t help but stare at him. He glanced over when he felt my eyes burning holes into his body, and when our gazes locked, his lips slowly curved into a charming, crooked smile. “Are you sure you need to go so soon? If you’ve got time, I’ve got time.” He held his arms open for a hug.

  Resisting took every ounce of willpower I possessed. “I don’t have time, sorry.” And I wasn’t sure if I was ready for a half-naked embrace. That would make me think and feel things I just wasn’t ready for.

  Not wanting to once again slip into doubt and confusion, I tossed on a carefree smile. Hayden grinned at seeing it, and my mood—thankfully—remained level. After he slipped on a fresh T-shirt, I walked over and innocently kissed his cheek. “I’ll see you later at the track.” I started to walk away, then paused and looked back at him. “I love you.” It was a little easier to say this time, and my heart pleasantly fluttered in my chest, instead of pound like I was running a marathon.

  Hayden’s grin grew. Reaching out, he grabbed my hand and pulled me back to him. “I love you too,” he said, then he crashed his lips down to mine. I lost myself to the feel of his mouth on mine. His hands ran up and down my spine, his tongue lightly flicked against me, igniting me, and the passion slowly began to burn away the fear and doubt that constantly lingered in the back of my brain. Maybe letting go wasn’t such a bad thing after all…

  “You tell me not to waste time getting ready, and here you are…practically getting it on with your boyfriend. Does this mean we’re staying home?”

  Hayden and I separated, and I spun around to see Nikki’s amused smile. Even though there was a distinct smugness to her grin, there was happiness in her dark eyes. She wanted Hayden and I to get back to where we used to be…back when things were good.

  Inhaling a deep breath, I tried to calm my surging heart. “No, we’re still leaving,” I firmly told her. She had places to be, and Hayden and I…couldn’t go there yet.

  Hayden looked satisfied when I looked back at him, like just the act of turning me on made him happy. I was glad to see the peace on his face, and I was feeling pretty content myself when I left the apartment with Nikki.

  “You guys seem to be doing well,” Nikki commented once we were in her tiny car. “Did you take my advice? Get back on that stallion?”

  I pursed my lips at her comment, then sighed. “Yes…and no.” She looked confused by that, so I clarified. “I’m trying not to push him away, trying not to let the fear win, but we’re not having sex yet. Not even close.” He still hadn’t come inside my house yet. I should rectify that soon. Open a physical door, and a proverbial one.

  Nikki furrowed her brows as she drove. “Well, I guess it’s a step in the right direction. Just don’t get stuck inside your head, Kenzie. Sometimes you need to feel things without thinking them through.”

  I pointed at her stomach. “Like you did with Myles?”

  She shot me a glare before her eyes drifted back to the road. “Not funny. Don’t compare my love life to yours.”

  “Is there a love life?” I asked, genuinely curious. The thought of them together didn’t weird me out like it used to. They’d actually be pretty…perfect.

  But Nikki snorted. “No, Kenzie, we’re just friends. And barely that anymore.” Her voice softened. “The only thing I am looking forward to today is the fact that maybe I can convince the doctor to make Myles relax…so I can have my friend back.”

  I had to bite my lip to stop myself from saying something. While this appointment might ease Myles’s mind, it also might give him a lot more ammunition to use against her…and I had a feeling that was the way it was going to go. I really needed to have a conversation with him soon, before he permanently damaged their relationship.

  When we got to the parking lot of Nikki’s OB/GYN, Myles was already there, waiting in his car. He looked shocked when he saw Nikki pull up beside him. He’d probably assumed she’d be her usual late self.

  Nikki let out a long, slow exhale as she shut off the car. “You all right?” I asked her.

  She looked over at me with a strained expression. “Just feeling sick.”

  My eyes widened. “Morning sickness sick?” I started looking around for a bag, a bowl, something she could use.

  Nikki let out a shaky laugh. “No, just nerves sick. I don’t think I’ll actually puke, knock on wood.”

  I put a supportive hand on her arm right as Myles opened her car door. “Oh good, you’re early,” he said, extending a hand to help Nikki out of the car.

  She smiled up at him as she took his hand, relief and gratitude on her face. Then she frowned. “Of course, I’m early. Did you think I’d be late for this?”

  Myles and I gave her the exact same disbelieving expression. Glancing between the both of us, she murmured, “Shut up,” then let Myles pull her from the cramped vehicle.

&nbs
p; I chuckled to myself as I got out and walked over to them. They both seemed so overwhelmed as they stood there, standing close to each other but not looking at each other. Myles kept running a hand back through his dark, piecey hair, and his equally dark eyes kept scanning the lot, like he was memorizing the escape routes. Nikki looked green. It was strange to see them so out-of-sorts, as both were usually so carefree and easygoing, always looking for a good time.

  The day they’d met was crystal clear in my brain. Nikki had joined Cox Racing first, and we’d hit it off right away—even though I hadn’t been an official rider yet, the track was my home, and I’d spent most of my time there. On Myles’s first day, he’d ran into Nikki first.

  Holding up his helmet and duffle bag, he’d asked her, “Do I give these to you?”

  She’d glanced at me, and we’d shared a laugh. Then, showing Myles her grease-stained coveralls, she’d dryly told him, “Do I look like your personal assistant?”

  A second later, he’d realized what her job was at the track, and like most men Nikki met…he’d been surprised. “Holy shit, you’re a mechanic?”

  Nikki’s answer still made me laugh. “Yeah, weird, I know… I have tits, and yet, I know how to use tools.” One day, I was getting that put on a T-shirt for her.

  Instead of getting mad or irritated at her answer, instead of puffing up his chest like he had something to prove… Myles had started laughing—tears from his eyes, dying laughing. That was when I’d known the two of them would be friends for life.

  Myles had invited her to go out with him after work, and they’d gone out almost every night after that. They were yin and yang, peas in a pod, kindred spirits…or at least, they used to be. Now, they were just stressed out parents-to-be.

  Not sure if they’d be able to walk into the building without a little prodding, I said, “You guys ready?”

  They both nodded, looking forlorn and uncomfortable, and the three of us began walking toward the front door. On the way, Myles looked back at Nikki’s car. “You know, I was thinking, you should probably trade that thing in for a bigger car soon.”

  Nikki suddenly looked a lot less green as she stared at him. “What? No way.”

  Myles frowned. “It’s practically a speed bump on wheels, Nik. What if someone hits you?”

  Staring straight ahead, she inhaled a deep, calming breath. “It will be fine, Myles. I love that car, and I want to keep it.”

  Myles sighed as he pulled the front door and held it open. “Yeah, well I love…seeing you breathing. And that thing won’t survive a crash.”

  There was an odd pause in his sentence, one that made me smile, but Nikki didn’t seem to notice. She laughed as she walked through the door. “Says the man who rides 150 miles per hour on an open-air vehicle for a living.”

  His frown deepened after her comment, but even I had to admit she made a good point. What he did daily was far more dangerous than Nikki driving around in a microscopic smart car. I gave him an apologetic shrug as I walked into the building after her.

  Myles sighed again as he followed us, and that was when Nikki decided to drop a bomb on him. Turning to face him, she quietly said, “Before I forget…my mom wants you to come over for family dinner on Sunday. It’s not optional,” she added, grimacing.

  All the color left his face, and he glanced back at the front door like he was going to make a run for it. “Do they…know?” he asked, looking back at her.

  Biting her lip, Nikki shook her head. “No.”

  “Fuck.” Myles said that in a louder voice than Nikki had been using, and everyone waiting in the quiet lobby turned to look at him. His cheeks instantly filled with color as his eyes drifted to the ground. “Sorry,” he murmured to the crowd.

  A few of the women were still frowning as they went back to their magazines. If they only understood the situation, then they might be more sympathetic, less annoyed. Nikki’s parents could be…intense. And on top of that, she had six—very protective—older brothers. I might never see my best racer again.

  With one hand I rubbed Myles’s arm in camaraderie. With the other, I clenched Nikki’s elbow. Leaning in, I told her, “Don’t let them murder him, okay?”

  Nikki laughed…but it was nervous sounding.

  The three of us looked for somewhere to sit in the lobby. Something must have been in the water in Oceanside, because pregnant women were everywhere, and most of them looked like they were about to explode at any moment. “Jesus,” Nikki muttered. “Is that how big I’m going to get?” One of the mothers-to-be heard her and shot a nasty glare in our direction. The three of us weren’t winning any popularity contests, that was for sure.

  Myles had a strange look on his face as he looked around. “I don’t think I’m supposed to be here,” he whispered.

  I understood why he felt that why. He was the only guy in the place. Smiling at him, I reassuringly told him, “It takes two to make a child, so you have just as much right to be here as they do.”

  Myles grinned in an unexpected way. He opened his mouth, but Nikki immediately interrupted. “No, that still doesn’t give you two-to-one veto power.”

  His lips curved into a pout, and I let out a quiet laugh—a laugh that earned me glares too. Nikki pointed at some chairs across the room, then headed up to the receptionist. Once she was checked in, she joined Myles and me. Nikki spent the next fifteen minutes rocking in her chair and biting her nails, while Myles bounced his knees and drummed his thighs. Every single person in the lobby tossed an occasional annoyed glance our way. I tried to ease my friends’ minds with pointless conversation, but they couldn’t seem to stop being a bundle of nerves and anxiety.

  Reaching over Myles, I patted Nikki’s knee. “It’s going to be okay,” I said, glancing at both of them. “It’s just a checkup.”

  Myles let out a long breath, stilling his legs. Nikki nodded and clenched my hand. “Thank you for being here. Both of you.” Her eyes shifted to Myles. “I know I didn’t really give you much of a choice…but thank you anyway.”

  Myles grinned, and seeing that boyish smile made Nikki visibly relax. “There’s no place I’d rather be right now,” he told her. Then his eyes darted around the room stuffed with pregnant women, and his grin shifted to a frown. “Well, no, actually, I can think of at least a thousand other places I’d rather be right now…” his eyes refocused on her, and his expression softened, “but there is nothing I’d rather be doing than supporting you. You’re my best friend.”

  His voice was so soft, so sweet, so tender… I instantly knew I was a third wheel who didn’t need to be here. This moment should belong to Myles and Nikki, and Myles and Nikki only. I was just debating how to tell my best friend I wasn’t going in with her, when I heard someone loudly proclaim, “Nikki Ramirez?”

  On the far side of the room, a nurse was holding open a door to the back rooms and scanning the crowd for her patient. Nikki shrank down in her seat, hiding, and I poked her in the side. “Go on, Nik.”

  She looked over at me with wide eyes. “Are you coming?”

  Cringing, I looked between her and Myles. “Actually, I think the two of you should go in alone. This is your moment, and I don’t want to intrude. But I’ll be here when you get out.”

  Nikki opened her mouth to object, but Myles grabbed her hand. Their eyes locked, and Myles nodded at her. Nikki studied his expression for a few moments, then looked back at me, sighed, and said, “Okay…we’ll see you in a few, Kenzie.”

  Waiting for Nikki and Myles to return from the doctor’s office might have been the single most boring thing I’d ever done in my life. I couldn’t even entertain myself with reading the magazines, since they were all pregnancy or parenting related. And I just couldn’t think about that yet, not for myself anyway. But even still, as I mindlessly browsed the Internet on my phone, I wondered if that type of future was in the cards for Hayden and me.

  Would he want kids? Would I want kids? Would we even be together long enough to contemplate having
kids? Life was so unpredictable. That was practically the only thing anyone could count on.

  But still…having a child with Hayden—his green eyes, my wavy brown hair—we’d make a beautiful baby, that was for sure. My heart suddenly constricted in pain. No, not pain…an ache. A deep, heart-wrenching ache that cut me to the core. And I knew in that moment that having a child was something I absolutely wanted. One day. And I absolutely wanted it…with Hayden. That warmed me and terrified me.

  Just as I could feel an ulcer beginning to form in my stomach, the door Nikki and Myles had disappeared through swung open. Nikki strode through, her face reminding me of a turbulent sky about to unleash its fury. Worried, I stood up and started walking her way.

  “Nik? Everything okay?” Even though she looked angry more than anything else, I started to fear that something was wrong with the baby. Could they tell that this early in the pregnancy?

  Her eyes were hot when she met my gaze. I could feel the lethal penetration all the way to my bones. “I need a new doctor. Mine is an idiot.”

  Surprised by her answer, I looked behind her to the still-open door, where Myles was talking with an older man who I could only assume was her doctor. “Why?”

  Nikki raised her hand to me. “Don’t, I can’t…” Not finishing her comment, she turned and headed for the front door. Myles spotted her leaving, hastily said goodbye to the doctor, and darted out the door after her.

  Even more confused, and worried my ride was about to leave, I made my way outside. I got there right as Myles caught up to Nikki. “Come on, Nik,” he told her, “just take a minute and think about it. That’s all we’re saying.”

  I had never seen Nikki this angry before. It was a little unnerving. “What’s going on?” I asked. Maybe I should have gone in with them after all.

  Myles sighed, and Nikki rolled her eyes. Not answering me, she addressed Myles. “I can’t believe you bought that crap he was spewing.”