Bad Catholics

by James Green

  Philomena smiled back. ‘I will, Janine. I feel a bit tired. Tea will be nice, and the rosary together.’

  She turned and left the dining room. Janine and Jimmy sat in silence until the sound of her feet on the stairs had gone.

  ‘You were going to guess out loud, remember?’ The new Janine had returned.

  ‘You visited people, Janine, you talked to them and they talked to you. You visited Lucy Amhurst and you talked about their idea for the will. You were going to make sure you got some of the money. You were going to be a good cause, probably that project in Goa, they would leave you some money for that. Once you were sure you had her you got rid of her. After a while, when everything had settled down and you had worked on Mr Amhurst and the will was made, he would go.’

  Janine looked at him and smiled. It was not a nice smile. ‘Not very good, Jimmy. And how did I kill her?’

  It was Jimmy’s turn to smile.

  ‘I owe you for that. It saved my life tonight. You used the back yard. It opens on to the street. You spilled something in the kitchen as Mrs Amhurst was leaving and got Philomena to help clear it up. You told her you were going to get a bucket, something like that. You went to the yard. The street was clear so you slipped round to the car and knifed Mrs Amhurst. Then you’re back before anyone has seen anything. You probably rehearsed it a few times with variations before everything was just right.’

  Janine’s manner became relaxed. ‘You’ve got nothing.’

  ‘I’ve got Mrs Lally. You were there.’

  ‘So was the man on the stairs.’

  ‘What man on the stairs? Your unsupported word puts a man of no description on the stairs. But you were there. You were here when Mrs Amhurst got it and you were there when Mrs Lally got it. If the same person is at two scenes of crime with the same method, that’s enough for me or any copper who cares enough to notice. I don’t know why you knifed Mrs Lally. My guess is she found something in the yard, maybe Mrs Amhurst’s handbag. You had to put it somewhere and the bins were to hand. Maybe she told you she’d found it and asked your advice about what to do. Anyway, she had to go so you did what you did.’

  ‘You think you’re a clever man, Jimmy, but all this only exists in your head, there’s no proof. Go to the police and they’ll charge you with wasting their time.’

  Jimmy looked puzzled. ‘What are you talking about? Why would I go to the police? They’ve got someone for the Amhurst killing and they aren’t interested in the Lally woman. What have the police got to do with any of this?’

  ‘So what are you going to do? You have no evidence, nothing you’ve said will stand up in any court.’

  Jimmy spoke slowly. ‘I don’t give a toss what happens to you but I do care about me and Philomena and perhaps I care enough about Mr Amhurst to save his life. Philomena knows you did it, I told her and I’ll explain the hows and the whys so she’ll be sure. I wouldn’t want to read about Mr Amhurst having an accident so I’ll see he knows how it is as well.’ He sat back. ‘There’s going to be no money in this for you, Janine. You get nothing.’

  Janine stood up, her face bright with anger.

  ‘You little fucking shit, do you think your lies worry me? I want to do God’s work and God is with me. I will build my school and my clinic and my orphanage because it’s God’s will, and God will punish you for your filthy lies.’

  Jimmy stood up and faced her. ‘Janine, I don’t like you, you kill people. I’ll take my chances with God, but if I ever meet you again, if we pass in the street, if we sit in the same restaurant, if I see you anywhere near me, I’ll think the worst and I’ll kill you before you kill me. There are no coincidences with you, Janine, so make no mistake, if I ever see you again I’ll kill you without a second thought. Now get out.’

  Janine spat full in his face, then turned and left the room.

  Jimmy was sitting in the chair by the stairs when Janine came down and swept past him. She had a small rucksack on her back.

  He got up and closed the front door behind her. The lock was smashed but the bolts at the top and bottom worked.

  He turned, stood for a moment, and sniffed. It was a smell he recognised.

  He went to his cupboard and filled a bucket with water, took it upstairs and threw it on the small fire that was beginning to burn merrily on the bed in Janine’s room. He put down the bucket and went to his own room, packed his few belongings, and sat for a short while on his bed looking at an envelope which was addressed to Sister Philomena. Eventually he got up, walked down the corridor and gently pushed open her door.

  The light was still on but she was on the bed, fast asleep. He went into the room, put the envelope on her table in clear view, then switched off the room light and went out. He went back to his own room, tidied up, collected his bag and anorak and went down to the hall. He left his bag in the hall and went to Philomena’s office and got the carrier bag with the money he had collected from his safety deposit box, then went back into the hall, put on his anorak, and picked up his bag. He would have liked to have stayed for the night but he couldn’t. He had done all he could. He walked through the dining room into the kitchen and opened the back door to the bin yard. He set the catch for the door to lock and pulled it shut.

  Kilburn, October 1991

  Jimmy was woken by the ringing of the front door bell. As he sat up on the settee where he’d eventually fallen asleep, the bell rang again. Jimmy felt stiff and awkward. Denny’s gun was still in his pocket and he had been lying on it. His side hurt and he knew he was a mess. He felt it, he didn’t need to look in a mirror. The bell rang again. Someone was getting impatient. Jimmy looked at his watch, seven o’clock. Whoever it was liked to be up and about early. The bell rang again. They weren’t going away, soon the door would be kicked in. Jimmy went and opened it.

  ‘Hello, Jimmy.’

  ‘Hello, Vic.’

  The big man stood with his hands in his pockets.

  ‘Nat told me to collect you, Jimmy. You’re not going to give me any trouble, are you?’

  Denny’s gun appeared in Jimmy’s hand. It was casually pointed at Vic’s stomach.

  ‘It depends what you call trouble, Vic.’

  Vic didn’t move, he especially didn’t move his hands. ‘Silly move, Jimmy, guns aren’t your style. Put it away before someone gets hurt.’

  Jimmy shot him in the thigh and Vic went down with an oath. Two men were out of the car and at the gate.

  ‘Get fucking back,’ shouted Vic, holding his thigh, sitting on the path. The men stopped. Curtains twitched at an upstairs window across the street.

  ‘You’re right, Vic, guns aren’t my style. I might have missed you altogether or I might have blown your balls off. I wouldn’t try to make me use it again.’

  Jimmy was watching the two men at the gate while he spoke but the gun was still pointed at Vic. Vic pulled himself to his feet.

  ‘OK, Jimmy, have it your way. You know you’re dead?’

  ‘We all get dead sometime, Vic. Nobody gets out alive.’

  Vic hobbled back to the car. The car drove off and Jimmy closed the door and went into the kitchen. He sat at the kitchen table, where he had so often sat with Bernadette. The remains of yesterday’s funeral drinks were on the table or in the sink.

  ‘Maybe I should have done sandwiches,’ he said out loud. ‘They should have had something to eat as well.’

  After a while he got up, made some tea, and found some notepaper and a pen. He wrote a short letter, put it in an envelope, sealed it, and put it in his jacket pocket. He leaned back in the chair with his hands on the table, and waited.

  Jimmy sat for a long time, the untasted tea and the gun in front of him. Weird unconnected thoughts filled his head. He wasn’t thinking, just watching the thoughts as they came and went. Eventually the front door bell rang. Police or Nat, he wondered. He hoped it was Nat. It was.

  ‘Come in, Nat. How’s Vic?’

  ‘Mad, Jimmy.’ Nat was grinning.

  Jimm
y smiled back at him. ‘Don’t tell me Vic’s pretending to be hurt. He’s had worse than that. He walked away under his own steam, for God’s sake.’

  They went and sat in the kitchen.

  ‘Pride, Jimmy, you shot him in his pride and he won’t forgive you. Vic wants to be somebody one day. Letting you shoot him won’t help. It encourages others to have a go.’

  ‘Tea?’

  Nat looked around the kitchen. ‘Fucking hell, Jimmy, is it always like this?’

  Jimmy looked around. It was never like this and especially not if there was a visitor. ‘Not usually, but it’s been a bit, you know, things to do so things don’t get done.’

  Nat took off his coat and carefully draped it over the back of a chair. Something heavy in the pocket bumped against the wood.

  ‘OK, Jimmy, let’s get going.’

  He went to the sink and switched on the hot tap. ‘There’s not much and it’s only cups and glasses. You want to wash or dry?’

  ‘Dry. Bernie said I’m no good at washing glasses, I don’t get them clean.’

  Nat had rolled up his sleeves. ‘That’s ’cos you’re a coward, like most men. If you wash up you have the water hot enough to suit your hands but not hot enough to do the job.’ Nat put his fingers under the hot water then put the plug in the sink. ‘Where’s your washing-up liquid?’

  Jimmy shrugged. Nat opened a cupboard under the sink. It was there. He squirted it into the water which began to foam as his hand moved in it. He put the liquid away and plunged his hands into the sink. ‘Fuck.’

  ‘Hot?’

  ‘No, I forgot to take my watch off.’ He took off his Rolex and put it in his trouser pocket.

  ‘Nice watch, Nat.’

  ‘It should be, it fucking well cost enough.’ He passed the first glass to Jimmy who was standing beside him with a tea towel with the Cathedrals of England and Wales on it. The glass was still hot.

  Jimmy smiled. ‘I’m impressed.’

  ‘You know, Jimmy, when girls get to about twelve a strange change takes place in their bodies; it doesn’t happen to boys, only girls. They develop the ability to plunge their hands into boiling water and hold red hot plates without showing pain. How many times have you burnt your fingers on a plate Bernie passed you with her bare hands?’

  Jimmy smiled. Often, he thought, often. ‘What about you, Nat?’

  ‘I just don’t let myself feel the pain, Jimmy, it’s a knack.’

  Yes, thought Jimmy, it’s a knack. He slowly dried the glasses, cups, and saucers which were piling up before him. Nat finished the sink-full, went to the table and picked up Denny’s gun, which Jimmy had left there. ‘What about this?’

  Jimmy turned round, he looked at the gun pointing at him. ‘I dunno, Nat, you can have it if you like, I don’t want it.’ And he turned back to the drying up.

  ‘I’ve got one, Jimmy.’

  ‘I know.’

  Nat grinned. ‘I know, I’ll give it to Vic and tell him you sent it as a present, said you didn’t need it any more.’

  He put Denny’s gun in his other overcoat pocket. Jimmy liked that, it was a nice touch.

  Nat filled the sink with the last things from the table and they carried on in silence. Jimmy was very slow so Nat found another tea towel and they finished the drying up.

  ‘Where does it all go?’

  ‘Leave it, I’ll do this later. Let’s go and sit down.’ Jimmy led Nat to the living room and they sat down.

  ‘How come you’re still here, Jimmy? It was only on the off-chance Vic came, we thought you’d be well away.’

  Jimmy shrugged. ‘Where would I go?’

  ‘Denny’s not the bloody Mafia. There’s plenty of places to be comfortable, where Denny couldn’t get you. Don’t tell me it’s the money. Everyone knows you made it but you never fucking spent it. You must be worth a packet.’

  ‘It’s not the money. You got a family, Nat?’

  ‘Mum and Dad.’

  ‘See them?’

  ‘Yeah. They live south of the river, I get round when I can.’

  ‘They OK?’

  ‘Sure, Jimmy. I told them they could live anywhere, I’d pay, but they won’t move. I wanted them to move back to St Lucia or Ireland …’

  ‘Ireland?’

  Nat laughed. ‘Surprised, Jimmy? Didn’t think there’s any black Irishmen? My dad’s from Tuam in Galway and my mum’s from a little village in St Lucia. I’m half Irish, Jimmy, it’s why I fit in so well here.’

  Jimmy thought for a moment. ‘You a Catholic, Nat?’

  Nat shook his head. ‘No, I got expelled.’

  ‘How do you mean expelled? You don’t get expelled.’

  ‘I did. In my first school there weren’t many black kids, lots of Irish, some Italian and the like, but not many black kids, and there was this teacher, a little bloke, dead racist. He came to the school as deputy head in my last year and set out to make my life a misery. Anyway, one day I lamped him, I can’t remember why, but I was big for my age and he was a runty little guy. He liked wearing the altar boy outfit and serving at the Mass we all had to go to on Friday afternoon. Anyway, I lamped him right on that little ’tache he had.’ Nat laughed at the fond memory of school days past. ‘You should have seen the blood. He looked so funny. I reckon they expelled me as much ’cos I laughed as for busting his lip. After that I wasn’t a Catholic any more. Like I say, I got expelled.’

  They sat in silence for a bit. Then Nat said, ‘I’m going now, Jimmy. Denny will tell me what he wants to happen to you when he’s ready to deal with you, so don’t try to go anywhere. Vic’ll be watching for you, don’t give him any opportunity. Maybe he can’t kill you yet, but he can hurt you.’

  ‘I’m not going anywhere, Nat. But before you go I’ve got something for you.’

  Jimmy took out the letter and handed it to Nat.

  ‘This for me, Jimmy?’ Nat fingered the thin envelope. ‘It’s not money so it’s got to be info.’

  ‘Let’s just say it calls in a favour.’

  ‘So what will this favour do?’

  ‘How much do you want it, Nat?’

  Nat paused. ‘Want what?’

  ‘If you need to ask you don’t want it.’

  ‘Do you mean what I think you mean?’

  Jimmy nodded.

  ‘And this will get it for me?’

  Jimmy nodded again.

  Nat paused again. This was tricky. ‘If I was interested, what would I do with it?’

  ‘You’d take it to a pub and give it to the barman and tell him it’s for Bridie.’

  ‘Bridie McDonald?’

  ‘That’s right. Even with Denny down you couldn’t take him. But you and Bridie together might.’

  Nat was thinking. ‘This won’t get you off the hook, Jimmy. No one can do anything about you.’

  ‘I know, I don’t want anything done about me. But you better make up your mind. Denny’s tough, every day you wait makes it harder, and just at the moment Vic’s as slow as he’s ever likely to be, so he won’t stand in your way.’

  ‘I get the picture. So what’s in it for you? Nobody does something for nothing and you don’t owe me a favour, so what do you get?’

  ‘I’ll tell you, Nat, you won’t understand, but I’ll tell you anyway. Denny’s as vicious as it gets, he lives to hurt people. It’s not about money with Denny, and he’ll go on pushing till he’s stopped. So I’m going to have him stopped.’

  ‘And I’m going to stop him for you?’

  ‘That’s right, you and Bridie McDonald. Things will be better with you on top because it’s all about money with you, Nat. You’re as much a businessman as you are a villain. With you it’s a career, you’re really just a violent accountant. Maybe if you get on top things will get better. Everybody will make money and people will only get hurt if they have to be. That’s what it’s about, it’s about stopping Denny by putting you on top.’

  Nat was thinking hard. He wanted it, but … ‘Bridie’s been arou
nd a long time, maybe she’s past it.’

  ‘No she isn’t. She still runs her sons and they still run Glasgow. They’ll be in this.’

  ‘What makes you so sure?’

  ‘You remember that Scottish kid? The one you told me about and I made it so you all walked?’

  Nat nodded.

  ‘Lenny forgot to mention that he was Bridie’s youngest son, didn’t he? Denny pulled the trigger and you both burned and buried the body. But the only one Bridie knew about was Lenny and that’s why he died like he did.’

  ‘I thought that was down to Denny.’

  Jimmy shook his head.

  ‘Everyone did, but it was Bridie, and don’t ask how he died, it wasn’t nice. Give her Denny as the triggerman and she’ll probably just want to keep the finger that pulled the trigger to wear round her neck on a chain. What’s left she’ll give to you.’

  Nat was still thinking about it. It sounded right.

  ‘Denny’s down and Vic’s slow. Get Bridie on board, Nat, and take your chance. Another one may not come along.’

  Nat stood up. ‘We’ll see,’ he said and he went to the kitchen and came back with his coat on. ‘I’ll tell you what would make it certain, Jimmy.’

  ‘What’s that?’ Jimmy was on his guard. Nat was going to try to use him, Jimmy could smell it.

  ‘It was Denny who gave that priest friend of yours and those IRA bombers to Special Branch, and that wasn’t all he gave them, he had a regular arrangement. If you were to tell your priest’s friends in Belfast that …’

  ‘Do you think I know his Belfast friends?’

  ‘You’ve got a phone and maybe a couple of days. If you really want Denny stopped you could reach them. After all, whatever happens, your days as a copper are over. If you were to make that call and this all goes through before Denny’s back in charge, who knows, maybe you might even get out alive.’

  ‘You want everyone’s help with Denny, Nat? How about asking the coppers as well?’

  ‘I don’t take unnecessary chances, that’s all. Well, are you in?’

  ‘OK, I’ll make the calls, but that’s all I can do. They won’t work with you and they’ll take their own time.’