Codename Zero

by Chris Rylander

  “You ever see in cartoons where there are smoke bombs that some wacky character throws to the ground and then vanishes in a poof of smoke?”

  I nodded.

  “This takes that a step further, in a way,” he said. Then he pointed his wrist across the small storage room, and a second later I heard a faint clicking noise.

  Smoke literally exploded out of whatever it was he’d just launched across the room. Only it wasn’t smoke exactly; it was more like thick fog. It had a slightly chemical odor, not like the charred smell of real smoke at all. But just the same, I couldn’t believe how much it was able to generate so quickly. In less than five seconds, the small storage room was completely filled with a thick fog. I could barely breathe.

  Agent Chum Bucket must have flipped a switch to a ceiling fan or something, because there was a whirring noise coming from above me, and a short time later the fog began to clear.

  “It has a range of fifty yards, and is completely harmless to inhale. It will linger for close to thirty minutes in confined areas but less than two in open air,” Agent Chum Bucket said.

  “Cool,” I said, thinking of how handy this would be for pulling off pranks.

  Next he showed me a small pair of contact lenses that would apparently allow me to see in the dark, and also a small grappling hook disguised as a set of keys.

  “How does it work?” I asked, holding the keys.

  “Here,” he said, taking them from me.

  The key ring looked pretty normal. It was just one ring with two normal-looking keys, one larger car key, and a small flashlight keychain. He flipped a switch on the bottom of the flashlight keychain, then he grabbed the car key and pointed it at the ceiling. He pressed down and held the key fob part of the car key for several seconds.

  The metal key part exploded up and embedded into the ceiling. There was a thin wire attached to the end leading back down to the key ring. He gripped the keys tightly and then pressed a button on the small flashlight, and suddenly the wire was retracting and pulling him up toward the ceiling.

  He let go and dropped back to the ground after a few feet.

  “How did that hold you up there?” I asked.

  “The wire is three-hundred-pound strength. The key pad itself is equipped with a state-of-the-art anchor system, capable of suspending weight for several hours from most surfaces. It will latch on to almost anything, so just point and aim.”

  He showed me which buttons did what and how to use it. How to unlatch it, everything.

  “It’s so simple my three-year-old could use it,” he said at the end of the demonstration.

  “Wow, thanks!” I said.

  “No problem. Odds are, you won’t need to use any of these, but it’s best to have them just in case.” He helped me load all the gadgets into my backpack. “All right, you’d better get going. Your next class starts pretty soon, right?”

  CHAPTER 29

  LATER THAT DAY, WHEN I WAS WALKING THROUGH THE HALLWAY to my seventh-period algebra class, I felt a hand grab my shoulder. I turned around, expecting it to be one of my friends.

  But it was Mr. Jensen. Or, I mean, Agent Nineteen.

  “Hi, Carson, I’ve got that information you requested about the musical tryouts,” he said, holding out a folded piece of paper.

  “Uh, thanks,” I said as I took it.

  “Hope to see you there,” he said and then walked away.

  I stopped walking and leaned against the wall right there in the hallway, unfolding the paper and looking at the handwritten words.

  Olek is at his most vulnerable after school while you’re in detention. It would be better if you’re with him that whole time. You need to find a way to get Olek into detention with you for the whole week by the end of seventh period.

  Ingest this note.

  I folded the paper back up into a square. Was he serious? Seventh period started in like ninety seconds. How was I supposed to get Olek detention while I was in a whole different class?

  I ran after Agent Nineteen.

  “Mr. Jensen, wait!”

  He stopped and turned around and I could tell by his expression that he was annoyed I’d chased after him.

  “How am I supposed to carry this out? I have class now!” I said.

  “Figure it out,” he said almost coldly. Then he whispered, “And don’t ever break your cover in the hallway. You shouldn’t need my help; getting detention is what you’re supposed to be good at, right?”

  Then he turned and walked away again. This time I knew better than to follow him. Besides, he was right; this was supposed to be my thing. It should be a piece of pie, right? I mean, getting detention was my specialty.

  I looked back down at the note again, rereading the last line.

  Ingest this note.

  Did they seriously want me to eat it? I shrugged and stuffed it into my mouth and chewed. It tasted dry and stale, like you’d expect. I mashed it up in my mouth until it was nothing but a slimy ball of goo and then swallowed it.

  I basically spent the first few minutes of my seventh-period class practically banging my head on the desk trying to think of what to do. I had just fifty minutes of class left to figure out how to get to Olek and then get him in trouble.

  Getting out of my class wouldn’t be that hard. My algebra teacher, Mr. Kittson, was pretty reasonable. If I told him I had a stomachache, he’d definitely let me leave to use the bathroom. The problem was getting into Olek’s classroom.

  Olek had Mrs. Larimore for seventh-period English, the same teacher I had for homeroom. The same lady who was already mean and strict as it was, but who I’d also peed my pants in front of last week. If I just showed up at her classroom unexpectedly during seventh hour she’d not only refuse to let me inside for a second, but she’d also probably give me three more weeks’ detention.

  But the good news was that I could also use her to my advantage. It meant that Olek wouldn’t have to do much to get detention. It was just a matter of contacting him somehow. Like I said before, she once gave some kid two weeks’ detention just for bringing his pet gerbil to class, and that was . . . Wait.

  The whole plan hit me so suddenly that I almost fell out of my desk.

  “Having problems?” Danielle asked next to me.

  “No, I’m actually perfectly fine, thanks,” I said back. “But, I gotta go. I have some shenanigans to pursue.”

  She grinned. “What are you up to this time?”

  “I’m sure you’ll hear about it,” I said as I grabbed my backpack and stood up.

  I went up to the teacher’s desk and told him I had a terrible stomachache. He wrote me a hall pass and I left. I headed immediately toward Ms. Colby’s classroom. As I walked, I was formulating what I would need to say to her in order to acquire what I needed for my plan. But it turned out that luck was on my side: Her classroom was dark and empty. Seventh period must have been one of her off-hours.

  But that created another small problem: The classroom door was locked. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I had just what I needed to get around that in my backpack. I took out one of the three fruit roll-ups that Agent Chum Bucket had given to me.

  After unwrapping it, I stuffed the soft cherry-flavored roll-up into the door, right next to the lock. Then I took a few steps back and pressed the small detonator like he’d shown me. There was a soft boom, followed by smoke drifting away from the door.

  I grabbed the handle and pulled. The entire doorknob came off in my hand, and I heard the inside knob clatter to the floor on the other side. I gaped at the metal doorknob in my hand and then at the hole it had left behind in the door.

  Oops.

  I shrugged and then pushed the door open. It closed behind me, and I gently set the loose doorknob next to the other one inside the classroom. I felt sort of bad but figured that doorknobs couldn’t be too expensive to replace. Right?

  Either way, I needed to stay focused. I only had thirty minutes left. I had to hurry in order to make sure O
lek got detention by the end of the period. I grabbed the two supplies I’d come here for and snuck back out into the hallway. Next stop: Mrs. Larimore’s class.

  I walked by her room as casually as I could and saw that she was up front giving a lesson of some kind. The thought crossed my mind that I could just run in there and try to get Olek in trouble somehow, but Mrs. Larimore would send me down to Gomez’s office before I’d be able to implicate Olek. There was no choice but to carry out my plan.

  I went to the end of the hallway and turned the corner, taking a deep breath. This was the part of the plan that I was most worried about. I had no idea if it would work. But I had to try.

  The hallway was closed off at one end by a set of double doors that led to the gym. The other end was slightly longer and led to one of the school’s exits. There were a few classroom doors along the way, but they were all closed.

  I dug inside my bag for the key ring grappling hook and looked up at the metal vent cover on the wall, just below the ceiling. I honestly had no idea whether that vent would lead me to Mrs. Larimore’s classroom. It’s not like I had a blueprint of the school schematics memorized or something. But I figured it had to. Wasn’t that the whole point of air ducts? To connect all the rooms in one building to the same air conditioning and heating systems?

  After looking both ways down the short hallway I was in, I aimed the keys at the ceiling right next to the air vent cover. I pressed the button like Chum Bucket had shown me, and the keys fired up and lodged into the ceiling.

  After attaching the keys to my belt, I grabbed the stuff I’d gotten from Ms. Colby’s room and then pressed the retract button. I slowly started upward. I couldn’t believe that the thin cord and a motorized lift that small were able to hoist me to the ceiling with such ease. It was pretty awesome.

  I dug a penny from my pocket and unscrewed the screws holding the vent cover in place. It fell open on its hinges. After hoisting the item I’d gotten from Ms. Colby’s room up into the vent and pushing it forward and out of the way, I did the same with my backpack. Then I reached up and grabbed the inside of the vent. I released the grappling hook so I was now dangling from the vent by just my grip. I pulled myself up and into the air duct. It was a pretty tight squeeze but after enough wriggling and squirming, I was inside the small, metal rectangular tube. The object from Ms. Colby’s room and my backpack were in front of me.

  I had no choice but to leave the vent hanging behind me. There was no way I’d be able to turn around and close it in this tight space. So, I just started crawling forward in the vent in the direction of Mrs. Larimore’s classroom.

  It was surprisingly easy to find. After passing over one other classroom, I could see kids through a vent below me and I heard Mrs. Larimore’s voice talking about dangling participles or some nonsense.

  From this particular vent opening, I could only see about ten kids, none of who were Olek. I looked up ahead in the duct and saw a second vent just ten feet ahead. I crawled forward, pushing my supplies ahead of me.

  I lifted them both over the next vent opening and then peered down through the slits. It appeared that luck was finally on my side. I was almost directly above Olek. Not exactly, but definitely close enough to execute my plan.

  There were only fifteen minutes left of class, so I had to hurry. I found the backsides of the screws holding the vent cover in place. They were just loose enough for me to unscrew with my fingers. Once they were mostly unscrewed, I leaned down close enough to the vent to see the front of the classroom.

  Mrs. Larimore was still up front talking. Every few seconds, she’d turn around and point to something she’d written on the whiteboard behind her. While I waited for the right moment, I began prepping the delivery.

  I took out the roll of twine I’d taken from Ms. Colby’s classroom and then opened the lid of the hamster cage. The hamster cage I’d also taken from Ms. Colby’s classroom. I took out a hamster. It trembled and squeaked. I felt sort of bad for it, but it’s not like it would get hurt. In fact, if anything, it might end up enjoying the brief freedom.

  The hamster thankfully stayed still while I tied one end of the twine around its midsection. I was careful to get it tight enough to hold it but not tight enough to suffocate it or something. I did the same thing to the other three hamsters. Then, all I could do was wait for the right moment.

  I watched the class go on for what seemed like hours but was really only like six minutes. Then, just like that, it was suddenly time to act. Mrs. Larimore had just finished her lecture and turned around to erase all the junk she’d scribbled on the whiteboard.

  Right as she started erasing, I pushed the vent open. Then I grabbed the four hamsters in both of my hands and held them out over the opening. I let the four strands of twine slowly slide through my palms.

  The hamsters began their descent.

  When they were about halfway down, dangling in a big furry bunch, someone must have seen them because I heard a soft gasp below me. Thankfully, Mrs. Larimore was also mostly deaf. So she just kept on erasing the board in big, slow arcs.

  I continued lowering the hamsters. They were now right in between Olek’s desk and the kid next to him. The kid next to him saw the hamsters and looked up at me. We locked eyes and I put a finger over my lips. He grinned and then nodded at me.

  Another perk to being the school prankster: Kids almost always went along without question. I started swinging the hamsters back and forth, to get them closer to Olek. By this point I could now hear a lot of suppressed giggles and murmurs below me. Most of the class had now seen the hamsters dangling from the ceiling. Mrs. Larimore just kept on erasing, but she was nearly finished.

  As the hamsters swung back and forth like a pendulum, I let out more string. Then, as they arched over Olek’s desk, I let go. They landed on his desk with a soft plop. One of them slid all the way across his desk and right over the edge. But the kid next to Olek, who had been watching the hamsters swing back and forth the entire time, reached out and caught it before it hit the ground.

  Right after I let go of the strings, I grabbed the vent lid and quickly closed it. Then I leaned over and watched the fun develop below me.

  For starters, as soon as the hamsters landed on Olek’s desk, he shouted out in surprise.

  “Ah! It rain giant rat!”

  The class erupted into a chorus of screams and laughter. Mrs. Larimore turned around instantly. She didn’t react for the first few seconds as she tried to piece together what exactly was happening.

  Then she saw the hamsters on Olek’s desk. They scrambled around, looking for somewhere to go. The strings of twine attached to them were on Olek’s shoulders and one piece was in his hair.

  “Olek!” she shrieked. “What is the meaning of this?!”

  Olek grabbed the loose strings and stood up, holding the hamsters out in front of him. They dangled together and began squeaking in unison. Some kids laughed, some squealed in disgust or delight, or maybe a little of both.

  “They rain from ceiling like dog and cat!” Olek said. “What is happening?”

  He started walking toward Mrs. Larimore with the hamsters dangling in front of him. She gasped and took a step back.

  “Get them away from me!” she shouted.

  “They come from sky!” Olek said. “Is giant rat rain!”

  “You’re in big trouble, young man,” Mrs. Larimore said. “Principal’s office, right now!”

  I took that as my cue to get the heck out of there. I still needed to find my way to a safe spot to get out of the school’s ventilation system and then back to class before the bell rang. But I knew Mrs. Larimore would never believe Olek. He was as good as busted. I felt bad for him, as he must be incredibly confused, but I was sure that once I explained why I had to frame him, he’d understand.

  CHAPTER 30

  “OLEK, DID YOU GET DETENTION?” I ASKED, WHEN I CAUGHT up with him after school.

  “Yes!” he said. “You not believe what happen in my class!
It rain fat rats from ceiling!”

  I laughed. “I know. I was there.”

  “What? How is this possible?”

  I explained to him what had happened and why I’d done it.

  “Ah, yes, is good work,” he said when I was done. “Is very smart plan.”

  “Good, I’m glad you’re not mad at me.”

  I spent most of detention looking out the window. Right after detention is when those enemy agents had been snooping around on Friday. I assumed that’s when they might try again. About halfway through the hour, I saw a black unmarked sedan roll slowly by the school.

  I glanced at Olek. He had apparently been watching, too, because he looked at me with wide eyes. I wanted desperately to write him a note to discuss an exit strategy, but the detention supervisor, Mr. Walsh, was about as no-nonsense as teachers could get. He had a sixth sense for note passing. No matter how sly you were, he always knew somehow.

  So we both just sat there and stared out the window for the rest of detention. We never saw the car again, but we did see something else suspicious. There was a handful of men in matching uniforms walking around the school grounds. They looked like phone company technicians, because the logo on their uniforms formed the letters MCMC, which I was pretty sure was our town’s phone company: Minnow Communications Management Company. But when I looked closer, I wasn’t so sure the uniforms were authentic. For one, they were spotless, as if they’d never been used for actual work. And two, I never saw them once do anything that could be considered phone-related. They were basically just snooping around.

  Olek and I exchanged another look.

  When detention ended, we met by the door outside where the late buses picked up. My bus wasn’t there yet, as evidenced by the group of kids waiting. But between us and the bus stop were a few of those suspicious, fake telephone company guys talking to one another.