It wasn't nearly fast enough. Carver shot him twice in the face. They had been willing to wet him up for one price, then turned on Boochie for another.
Honor among thieves, my black ass, Carver thought.
Later, as he drove away, he glanced in the rearview mirror of his Honda. He'd parked it behind the barn the night before and had Wilson pick him up. He saw the flames from the barn leap into the sky. The LTD and the Catalina were ablaze as well.
When he hit the interstate, he wiped his eyes and realized he had been crying since he left his grandpa's place.
Be My Alibi
by Blair Kroeber
Be my alibi…
9:36PM, Tuesday, June 22, 2010
I was told to open with that
9:36PM, Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Guess they're passwords or whatever?
9:36PM, Tuesday, June 22, 2010
hello?
9:43PM, Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Hey bro, u there?
9:44PM, Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Here.
1:02AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
And yeah, that's the pass phrase. A little affected, probably, but it's the easiest way to tell business from pleasure.
1:02AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
This is busyness
1:02AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Shit - auto-correct
1:02AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
This is business what I'm trying to say
1:02AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Gotcha.
1:03AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Who r you?
1:03AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
It's YOU who just started texting ME.
1:03AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
So?
1:03AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
So you go first.
1:03AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Fine. I'm Teo
1:04AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Teo who?
1:04AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I got to give a last name?
1:04AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
You ain't gotta do jack, boo. But if you want our transaction to proceed, you'll need to disclose some particulars, mmm'kay?
1:06AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
It's Andrada
1:10AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Teo Andrada.
1:10AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Yep
1:10AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Lemme guess – you goin 2 Google
the name
1:11AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Bingo. Skimming search results now.
1:11AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
What you looking for?
1:11AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Call it a background check. I like to know a thing or three about potential clients is all.
1:12AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Well then… your name?
1:12AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Sorry, sweet cheeks. For now the info flows one way.
1:12AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Then what do I call you?
1:12AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Don't call me anything. Once our biz gets finished, you and I will be done.
1:13AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Dude I got to trust you for this to go off
1:15AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
You want trust? Maybe we should go run a ropes course.
1:15AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
You know what I mean Gimme
SOMETHING
1:16AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
How about my shoe size?
1:16AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
C'mon now…
1:16AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Fine. Call me Golden.
1:18AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Word. thnx
1:18AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
So you're messaging from a disposable, yeah?
1:19AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Yep
1:19AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
You sure? Cuz if you're taking shortcuts, I can promise it will haunt you down the line.
1:19AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Swear it's a disposable
I was told that's how this works
1:19AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Correct. Just like in The Wire. But with less Idris Elba. Pity that.
1:19AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Now riddle me this, Batman - how'd you get my digits?
1:20AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
My cousin Ricky
1:20AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
And where'd Cousin Ricky get them?
1:20PM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
his roommate's sister
1:20AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
And what's her name?
1:20AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
No clue. It matter? Alls I know
is that Ricky said you helped her
out with a thing
1:22AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
When? Jog my memory.
1:23AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Like three four months back
1:23AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Cousin Ricky happen to say what kind of thing it was?
1:24AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Should we really be discussing
it this way?
1:25AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Since this is the only way we'll be discussing anything, then um… yeah.
1:25AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Let's meet up
1:26AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Negatory.
1:26AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
We cant talk in person?
1:27AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Sorry, big boy. We do this my own persnickety little way, if at all.
1:27AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
For reals? You honestly wanna
coordinate all of it via text?
1:28AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Put it this way: I appreciate the charm of distance. Plus I like having a record. Call it a last insurance policy, should you try to hang me out.
1:28AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Won't happen. Not how I roll.
1:29AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Due respect, but I've been burned. So as the proverb goes: trust in Allah, but tie your camel first.
1:29AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Whatevs
1:29AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Now back to Cousin Ricky. This girl he knows, the roommate's sister, how did she and I come to rub elbows?
1:31AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
According to Ricky she
straight-up stole her
landlord's dog
1:31AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
There we go! Now I know EXACTLY who you mean!
1:31AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
She ganked the pooch and
took it out to a park where her
boyfriend ran it over with his
truck
1:32AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
That unfortunate lil' corgi…
1:32AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
They were sickies, those two.
1:33AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
True that. My cousin rolls in
some whack circles. Anyway,
when the girls landlord came
around asking where she
been the night the dog went
missing Ricky said you posed
as her coworker and told him all
about how you two been working
late that night. I guess the
landlord bought the story, cuz
the sister was one happy chick
1:35AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Good to hear. I run a referral business, after all.
1:35AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Well she swore by you. She
said you're the dude to help a
brotha out
1:35AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
And we all know nothing holds weight like the word of a dog-killer.
1:35AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
LOL
1:35AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Hold up. If we're going to proceed, please resist the urge to toss around phrases like "LOL". No LMAOs or BTWs, either. You're not a thirteen year-old. At least not according to your Facebook page.
1:36AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
R u seriously looking at my FB?
1:36AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Check your settings, babe. They're wide open. Plus, as the tale of the corgi-killer illustrates, I routinely truck with some skeezy-ass folks. I accept that - it's the nature of my enterprise. But why wouldn't I do my research beforehand?
1:36AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I'm not like that
1:36AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Like what?
1:36AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Skeezy
1:37AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Sure you're not, and yet here we are. You contacted me tonight because you require a certain service, and whatever it is you plan to do, I think we can both concur that our soon-to-be arrangement is at least a teensy bit sketch, right? Hence the data mining. I need to learn what I can about Teo Andrada. Nice six-pack, by the way.
1:38AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Thnx
1:38AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
You snort Creatine or something?
1:38AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Just takes discipline is all
1:38AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I bet.
1:39AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I'm feeling these beach photos, too. That volleyball game's straight out of Top Gun.
1:39AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Seriously, bro… get off my
Facebook pg
1:39AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
But how can I pull myself away? These snaps are so informative.
1:41AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Who's the hot-ass Filipina? Your girlfriend?
1:41AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
LEAVE HER OUT OF THIS, GOLDEN.
I MEAN IT
1:41AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Alright, miss thang. Don't get yourself in a knot.
1:42AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Shit is weirding me out
1:42AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I admit my process can be a little creepers. So before we talk particulars, let me ask: you want to back out?
1:44AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Naw
1:44AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Last chance. You sure?
1:44AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Very
1:44AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Cool beans. That case, let me start by asking about this thing you got planned.
1:48AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
What you need to know?
1:49AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
As much or as little as you wanna share.
1:49AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
There's a guy who runs an
REO company
You know what that is?
1:50AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Googling it now. Go on.
1:50AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I didn't know either
Not till recent
1:51AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I'm educating myself in real-time here. Whose house was it got foreclosed? Yours?
1:51AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I ain't got the coin just yet
to buy a place
1:51AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Who then? Your girl?
1:51AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
My mother
1:52AM, Tuesday, June 23, 2010
Awwww… is our Teo a mama's boy?
1:52AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
The girlfriend says so
1:52AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
You're giving me warm fuzzies. I figured there must be more to our guy than Muscle Milk and Ed Hardy graphic tees.
1:54AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
So tell me what happened to mom.
1:54AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
When my pops died like four five
years back she did a re-fi on
the house and some dude at the
bank talked her into an
adjustable-rate situation. Long
story short, the adjustable rate
adjusted. See my mom she works
at a hospice. Nurses the dying.
She's that person who does that.
Thankless work and thankless
pay. No way could she afford
what came next. Her rate
skyrocketed and she defaulted.
The bank sold her mortgage to a
different bank who sold it to
another who sold it to some
company in like India. She
wasn't able to get an actual
human being on the phone till
it was all too late
1:56AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
So she lost the house?
1:56AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Not just a house, bro. Our home.
The place where I grew up.
Where we spent every single
Christmas
every single birthday
I remember the night my
little sister was born on the
living room sofa while my dad
ran around trying to find the
keys to the station wagon. A
place like that it wasn't just
four walls and a roof. It was
sacred.
1:58AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I get it.
1:58PM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
You shoulda witnessed the
scene when it came time to
move out my ma. She
couldn't stop crying so we had
to send her away to my aunt's
for the weekend. I got my
buddies to come lend a hand,
but all day people were
wandering up to the house
Strangers from around the way
They picked through the
dumpster out front they walked
straight inside asking if my mom
had died asking if they could take
a bookshelf asking if we would
need all those dining room chairs
at the new place. Just a bunch of
vultures. Twice I caught dudes
stripping the copper piping in
the garage. Every one of the
exterior window screens went
missing. One lady straight-up
unscrewed the faceplates off the
power sockets and walked out
the door with them
2:01AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Yowza.
2:01AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
You can't even imagine. Swear I
woulda decked two or three of
these a-holes if my boys hadn't
pulled me back
2:02AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I get it, Teo. I may come off like a jaded-ass queen, but I got a heart that bleeds like everyone else.
2:03AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
No doubt
2:03AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
So tell me about the REO guy. What's his role in all this?
/> 2:05AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
He manages the foreclosure.
He's the boots-on-the-ground
dude. The one who actually
removes peeps from their homes.
That's how the guy makes his
coin and believe me, homey
LOVES his job
2:05AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
What a disgusting career choice. And look who's talking.
2:06AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Ha. All good, though, cuz
the guy fulfilled one major
purpose.
2:06AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Yeah?
2:07AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
He helped me to put a face
on things. Suddenly this
anonymous remote process
had an in-the-flesh
representative
2:08AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
And you guys had no choice but to play nice?
2:08AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Yep. At first, tho, he seemed
willing to deal fair n square.
Right up front we made a
cash-for-keys agreement. If my
ma cleared out, no fuss, no
lawyers, he would buy up the
last sliver of equity on the
THUGLIT Issue Fourteen Page 7