THUGLIT Issue Fourteen

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THUGLIT Issue Fourteen Page 8

by Scott Sanders


  house

  2:08AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  How much we talking about?

  2:08AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  He promised her ten grand.

  Long as we cleaned the place

  and got her out, he would

  fork over the cash.

  2:09AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  Did he follow through?

  2:09AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  Of course he didn't. The lying

  sack of shit. He busted her on

  some technicality of the

  contract. Dude met up with us

  to inspect the house and sign off

  on everything. When it was done

  he looked my mother in the eye

  and flat refused her the money.

  2:11AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  Cold.

  2:11AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  Cold is right

  2:11AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  This bitch got a name?

  2:12AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  Jimmy Quantana

  2:12AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  You kidding? The dude's name is JIMMY QUANTANA?

  2:12AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  That's his name.

  2:12AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  Just the sound of it leaves a grease stain.

  2:12AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  I promise you everything else

  about him matches up. Now

  as I see it the man still owes my

  mother 10k. And I realize ten

  thousand bucks ain't much in

  the grand scheme of things, but

  we're not living in the grand

  scheme now are we?

  2:14AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  No indeed.

  2:14AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  But one question. Why not just lawyer up?

  2:15AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  Tried all that. One of my

  sister's friends from grade

  school is a real estate

  attorney. She told us to move

  on and forget about it. We're

  penned in by the contract she

  said.

  2:16AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  Sucks. I feel for you and mom. The world's unfair, but it's a whole different story when you're on the receiving end of the unfairness.

  2:16AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  This point, I've made my peace

  with the fact that we'll never

  see the cash. But that don't

  mean it's done. I need to look

  my man Jimmy in the eye one

  more time. I gotta deliver him

  a message. We're gonna have

  one last meet-up me and him.

  2:18AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  You gonna go the whole way?

  2:18AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  No only part way. Just enough

  to give him bad dreams for a

  awhile.

  2:18AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  You fearsome, Teo.

  2:18AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  Some wrongs you can tolerate.

  Part of life. But some wrongs

  have got to be righted one way

  or the other

  2:19AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  I couldn't agree more. That's why I want to help you with this project.

  2:20AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  Then let's discuss your part

  2:20AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  It'll cost you some scratch. I hope Cousin Ricky mentioned that.

  2:20AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  What r we talking about?

  2:20AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  A thousand. Straight-out.

  2:21AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  Cool but I wanna meet

  2:21AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  Told ya, not gonna happen.

  2:21AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  But we got to match up stories

  2:22AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  That's what we're doing right now. And believe me, baby cakes, I'm about to hand you a fireproof cover. One I've been saving for the exact right occasion.

  2:25AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  And this is that occasion?

  2:25AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  Like I said, something about your story warms my icy heart. This plan you got for Mr. Jimmy Quantana, it's wrong in all the right ways.

  2:27AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  So what's this cover you got

  cooking? Deal me in

  2:27AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  Payment first.

  2:27AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  Then how we handle that?

  2:27AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  You'll need to drop it off in person.

  2:28AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  To you?

  2:28AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  Hell no.

  2:28AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  Who then? Where?

  2:28AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  Here comes the fun part. Tomorrow night, 11PM, you're gonna stop by the northwestern corner of Washington and Adams. You'll spot a taco truck in the parking lot of the 76 station.

  2:30AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  This some Jason Bourne shit

  right here…

  2:30AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  See? Fun! Somewhere in the vicinity of the taco truck you'll notice a street kid in a green tanktop. Walk up and hand off the money. Don't try to make conversation. Don't say a word. You try to engage the boy, he'll start screaming. Usually it's something about how you're trying to molest him. People will come running If he gets an audience, believe me, the kid will keep right on ranting about how you tried to grab his peen. Someone on the scene might decide to dispense some street justice. The whole thing implodes. Avoid that scenario, got it?

  2:32AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  Got it. So I pass off the

  money then what?

  2:33AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  Then nothing. Then the kid leaves with the cash, and you grab yourself a couple tacos. I like the carnitas, myself. And don't skimp on the green sauce. After that you go home and pour yourself a cocktail or cuddle your girl or whatever it is you straight boys do. And you wait to hear from me. Deviate from these instructions in any way, we're done.

  2:35AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  Don't trip. I'll be there.

  Washington/Adams.

  2:36AM, Wednesday, June 23, 2010

  We all good?

  11:22PM, Thursday, June 24, 2010

  Told you to wait to hear from me.

  11:31PM, Thursday, June 24, 2010

  But yeah, we're good. The kid tells me you acquitted yourself admirably.

  11:31PM, Thursday, June 24, 2010

  So let's hear about this hot

  plan you got

  11:32PM, Thursday, June 24, 2010

  Okay. You know the website Fleshr?

  11:44PM, Thursday, June 24, 2010

  The hook-up site?

  11:45PM, Thursday, June 24, 2010

  That.

  11:45PM, Thursday, June 24, 2010

  No offense but I don't swing

  that way

  11:45PM, Thursday, June 24, 2010

  No offense, but I don't care. Nor does it matter.

  11:45PM, Thursday, June 24, 2010

  I don't getcha

  11:45PM, Thursday, June 24, 2010

  You start by setting up a profile on the site.

  11:46PM, Thursday, June 24, 2010

  What for?

  11:46PM, Thursday, June 24, 2010

  We're building a back story. First you set up the Fleshr profile, then you and I exchange time-
stamped messages on there. We make like we're skedding a date. You follow? So that when–and if –the relevant parties come around asking about our dear friend Jimmy Quantana, you can claim you were with me that night. Make sense?

  11:47PM, Thursday, June 24, 2010

  And I use the Fleshr messages as

  proof?

  11:47PM, Thursday, June 24, 2010

  Exactly. Under questioning, you reveal the profile page. You tell them you like to hook up with guys on the DL. You're not gay–just dabbling. And all throughout, you keep explaining how you couldn't have gone to see Quantana on the particular evening in question because you were occupied with some rando you met online. They'll access my contact info on the site and reach out to me. I back your story and it's done.

  11:50PM, Thursday, June 24, 2010

  But they won't buy it I got a

  girlfriend

  11:50PM, Thursday, June 24, 2010

  Relax, diva. Confused straight boys, closet cases, they're all over that site.

  11:50PM, Thursday, June 24, 2010

  How bout something else? Why

  does it have to be this?

  11:53PM, Thursday, June 24, 2010

  Because what jocked-out straight guy would think to pretend he's batting for the other team? Plus, you come off all scared and tormented on this thing and it helps cover your fib on the bigger thing.

  11:57PM, Thursday, June 24, 2010

  Not sure about this. Maybe I

  should just get one of my boys

  to cover for me. Tell the cops

  we were out at the clubs or

  something.

  12:11AM, Friday, June 25, 2010

  If you're feeling bold, go for it. But be advised: cops see straight through that sort of nonsense. They got X-ray vision when it comes to shitty alibis. I mean, OF COURSE your buddy would lie for you, right? You'd do the same for him. Any of us would go to INSANE lengths to protect the folks we care about. What most people WOULDN'T do is lie for a stranger. That's where I plug in. Still, if you wanna go your own route, give it a go. But you better hope Cousin Ricky gives a fucking Meryl Streep caliber performance.

  12:12AM, Friday, June 25, 2010

  So what's it gonna be, sweetheart? Are we done?

  12:33AM, Friday, June 25, 2010

  And just when I'd started to like you…

  12:47AM, Friday, June 25, 2010

  Teo, for reals now. We doing this thing or not?

  1:46PM, Saturday, June 26, 2010

  What's it gonna be?

  2:09PM, Saturday, June 26, 2010

  Last call. You in?

  8:31PM, Monday, June 28, 2010

  Okay I'm in

  8:39PM, Monday, June 28, 2010

  Thought so. Why you gotta make mama sweat like that?

  8:40PM, Monday, June 28, 2010

  Sorry

  8:42PM, Monday, June 28, 2010

  All forgiven.

  8:43PM, Monday, June 28, 2010

  I'll get on the Fleshr

  profile tonight after work

  8:46PM, Monday, June 28, 2010

  Great, and really sell it. Take some snaps of that six-pack and toss them up there.

  8:46PM, Monday, June 28, 2010

  You let me know when that's ready. I'll arrange the rest.

  8:52PM, Monday, June 28, 2010

  Ready

  6:12PM, Tuesday, June 29, 2010

  Sweet. We got ourselves a trail of breadcrumbs. Now have you set a date for the rendezvous with Jimmy?

  6:17PM, Tuesday, June 29, 2010

  Was thinking Thursday

  6:22PM, Tuesday, June 29, 2010

  You're THINKING about it…? Make up your mind, tough guy.

  6:22PM, Tuesday, June 29, 2010

  It'll def be Thursday

  6:24PM, Tuesday, June 29, 2010

  Good. When Thurs?

  6:25PM, Tuesday, June 29, 2010

  Night obv

  6:29PM, Tuesday, June 29, 2010

  Time?

  6:29PM, Tuesday, June 29, 2010

  Depends when he leaves the

  office. I followed him home a

  buncha times last week to figure

  out routines

  6:33PM, Tuesday, June 29, 2010

  He keep a regular sked?

  6:33PM, Tuesday, June 29, 2010

  Give or take an hour

  6:36PM, Tuesday, June 29, 2010

  That'll work.

  6:36PM, Tuesday, June 29, 2010

  Then it'll go down sometime

  between 9 and 11pm. Over

  before Kimmel starts.

  6:37PM, Tuesday, June 29, 2010

  Alright, big baller, you see the messages on Fleshr?

  9:16PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  Yeah

  9:19PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  When it comes to it, you give the phone number in there to anybody who comes around making inquiries.

  9:20PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  Coolio

  I'm on it

  9:21PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  Giddyup then.

  9:21PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  By the way, how you like the site? Let's hope it's not eroding your straightness.

  9:21PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  Ha

  Not so much

  9:22PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  Phew. Cuz your pretty girl would never forgive me.

  9:23PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  Liked seeing your profile shot

  tho. Good to put a face to all

  the shit talk

  9:47PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  It's an old photo. Haven't been on there in awhile.

  9:47PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  Why'd you quit?

  9:48PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  Went off the market. Met someone.

  9:48PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  You got a man, huh?

  9:49PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  Had a man. Past tense.

  9:49PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  He dump u?

  9:50PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  He died.

  9:50PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  Damn. Sorry, Golden.

  9:50PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  All good. Let's just say I can relate to your words from last week. About how some wrongs need righting. Let's just say I know exactly what you mean.

  9:52PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  Some bad shit go down?

  9:53PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  He was killed. And despite the "enlightened" nature of our society, the cops weren't all that curious who did it.

  9:54PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  sorry again

  9:55PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  Thanks. Underneath all that hair product and muscle mass, you're a real sweetie. I mean that. Glad I could assist with this project of yours.

  9:55PM, Wednesday, June 30, 2010

  You still planning to get it done tonight?

  5:36PM, Thursday, July 1, 2010

  Better believe it

  5:38PM, Thursday, July 1, 2010

  Best of luck then. Let me know when it's finished.

  5:38PM, Thursday, July 1, 2010

  It's finished

  12:06AM, Friday, July 2, 2010

  Smooth?

  12:06AM, Friday, July 2, 2010

  For me. Not for Quantana.

  12:07AM, Friday, July 2, 2010

  Go ice your knuckles then.

  12:07AM, Friday, July 2, 2010

  You're full of good ideas

  12:09AM, Friday, July 2, 2010

  Call today from the Hollywood Division.

  1:52PM, Tuesday, July 6, 2010

  Yeah?

  1:52PM, Tuesday, July 6, 2010

  Yup. I covered my end. They'd already spoken to you?

  1:53PM, Tuesday, July 6, 2010

  ye
sterday

  1:54PM, Tuesday, July 6, 2010

  And you stuck to the gameplan?

  1:54PM, Tuesday, July 6, 2010

  Like Velcro, son

  1:55PM, Tuesday, July 6, 2010

  You show them the Fleshr messages?

  1:55PM, Tuesday, July 6, 2010

  Yeah. Was so nervous I almost

  puked

  1:58PM, Tuesday, July 6, 2010

  They seem satisfied?

  1:58PM, Tuesday, July 6, 2010

  Very. The only thing they

  suspect is that I been cheating

  on the GF.

  2:01PM, Tuesday, July 6, 2010

  Nice.

  2:01PM, Tuesday, July 6, 2010

  They came around today for a face-to-face.

  10:23AM, Friday, July 9, 2010

  Same pair?

  10:23AM, Friday, July 9, 2010

  Yup, the fat guy and the partner. You notice the partner looks like the teacher from Glee?

  10:23AM, Friday, July 9, 2010

  Never seen the show

  10:24AM, Friday, July 9, 2010

  You'd recognize the actor I'm talking about. Anywho, the detective looks like him. Never saw such a nerdy-looking cop.

 

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