My Editor, Kim and Proofreader, Jackie— Hands down I think the three of us make the best team. I know I always say this, but thank you both from the bottom of my heart for keeping up with my insane writing schedule. I know it can’t be easy editing and proofreading every night, and I hope you know how much I appreciate that you don’t mind accommodating my crazy writing habits. You two are an amazing team and even better friends.
Rae, E.C., and Raven— You ladies are the ride to my die. I’ve known one of you for over three years, one for a little over a year and a half and the other for just a few months and it’s crazy how our friendships have grown, but not only that, our business relationships too. In all honesty, I’ve found a sisterhood with you three that nothing can ever replace.
Rae— I can’t fucking wait for everything that’s happening. You have so much fearless determination when it comes to this industry and I’m just sitting back here watching as your success grows. Keep it up! On a side note: the stuff we’re brewing is making me more and more excited each day. I can’t freaking wait for our collaborations to release.
E.C.— You have come such a long way in a year and a half. Whether its writing, formatting, etc. I hope you’re proud of yourself, because you should be. Don’t let anyone ever make you think any differently.
Raven— It’s crazy that we’ve known one another for three years. It blows my mind to this day, how time can just pass us by in the blink of an eye. Over those three years you and I have grown so much, whether it’s personally or professionally. I know it’s not always easy to keep pushing through in this community, but I know we both have it; even when we’re having our hardest days. Thank you for always being my sounding board.
To the fighters,
Fight for what you want— always.
Even if it tears you apart, never give up on that happiness.
Grab it from the sky and clench it so tight with your fists. But most importantly, never let it go.
Playlist
Wrong Direction — Hailee Steinfeld
Vulnerable — Selena Gomez
Give You What You Like — Avril Lavigne
Devil’s Don’t Fly — Natalia Kills
I Love Me — Demi Lovato
Prologue
Develop a strong mind and you will lead a strong life.
~ FearlessMotivation.com
Sakura
5 Months Ago . . .
Two screaming voices echo through the wide halls and I take in a deep breath, closing my eyes, wishing I was anywhere but here. This has been the cycle of my family for the last few months— yelling, every single night.
Both my father and my mother’s men act like they don’t hear it, but they do. They hear two people angered by the fact their eldest daughter is dead, blaming one another for her walking away from our family. Yet as they do so, they simply shove their own insecurities on the other person.
I pick up the oversized skirt of my white lace dress and sit up a bit straighter on the couch outside of my father’s office. You see, my father is Hiromitsu Kobayashi, the Emperor of Japan. Meanwhile, my mother is Sora, who plays the dutiful wife by day, constantly tricking the Japanese media’s eye. At night she doesn’t play the same part. Instead, she turns into the cruelest most vile of all women— the leader of the Yakuza, or in other words, the woman in charge of the Japanese Mafia.
Since I’m their prodigal daughter I’m required to have dinner with them every evening during the week unless I’m out of the country on business. Luckily, the weekends are for myself. We have a tradition to eat with one another and enjoy sake afterward. Although, tonight I won’t be drinking. Every evening I’m here, they both go into the office ahead of me and it’s always the same. They can’t even last five minutes alone in a room together without going at each other’s throats, ready to slice a jugular.
Months ago we discovered my sister, Asami, was murdered by a motorcycle gang out in America. When it came to my sister, things were complicated at best. She was eleven years older than I and honestly, she was the strongest one out of the two of us. Asami was a vigorous, determined woman. At first when she left I was scared, but I knew in my heart she’d be fine. Asami always found a way to get out of whatever threat was in front of her.
My mother and father usually undermine the other. However, this time things were different. They didn’t go behind the other’s back and hurt the people who she was staying with. The only reason they didn’t go after the Reapers MC is because I convinced my family they weren’t the ones who hurt her. They didn’t burn their entire clubhouse to the ground on purpose, that Asami was killed in the heat of war, and how we couldn’t go there and rip Sydney from the only family she’s ever known.
Sydney is Asami’s daughter, one who is dearly loved by the men and women of this club from what I can see. I’ve had my ex-boyfriend, Lucian, sending me satellite images of them as well as having one of his men located close by. Lucian is a hacker with undeniable talent. Someone who I wished things could’ve worked out with, but they never will. We’re two different people. Two different people who never have a problem falling back under the same sheets beside the other.
Things have been heated enough already. My godfather, Eduardo Diaz, got into a huge argument with my father. I don’t know what it was about, but my godfather did send me a text message apologizing for leaving so abruptly.
Unlike my father, my godfather isn’t a politician. He’s the type of man who uses his hands to get the job done. However, he’s just as deadly as my father. He’s the cousin of the current Mexican Cartel leader, Francisco Lopez. Before the Cartel was being run by a man named Rafael Ramirez, and he made a massive mess of things from what my godfather tells me.
I shift my eyes back to the dark bamboo doors, seeing the shadows of my parents throwing their hands up in the air.
I decide enough is enough after sitting here for over twenty minutes and approach the door. Sliding it open, I glare right at my parents, who always seem to act like children. “Unlike you, I have somewhere to be tonight.”
My father raises his brows while my mother shoots a glare right back at me. “What is so important that you would leave your family. Hmm?” She questions, walking up to me. “You have a fancy date or something?”
I roll my eyes, not even bothering to respond to her ridiculous question, “I’m going down to the women’s shelter this evening to give exams to anyone who needs it.”
“Why do you even bother going to that place?” My father asks, turning his nose up in disgust.
“The place you prefer to have media shots at? You know, with the battered women and children.” My father is sickening. Any time he’s ever seen in a low-income area or at a shelter is because he’s trying to make himself look better in the public eye. Meanwhile, I’m the one who attended college until I was able to be a fully certified nurse practitioner. Much to my parents’ dismay. You see, they prefer I’d simply be a public figure and completely reliant on them.
They might think I’m incoherent, although I know what they’re doing. They don’t want me to achieve anything in life because it will make me fully reliant on them.
Father sneers, while shaking his head in a disapproving way. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Yes, you’re right. I don’t understand why you don’t genuinely want to help them— your people. Do you even care that domestic violence has been the highest it’s ever been? Women and children leave their homes to go to shelters where they have to share a bed or sleep on the floor. How does that not matter to you?”
“What happens in someone’s home is none of our business,” He’s quick to respond.
“But what happens in ours, is. You must stop practicing medicine, Sakura. It’s only going to your head and we need you to be a Kobayashi, not a pretend doctor.” Mother is quick to interject. I assume she’s joking at first, but then I remember, she doesn’t know how to tell a fucking joke.
“Are you truly telling me to give up something t
hat helps the people who need it most?” I bellow, angered beyond belief.
“I am. It’s something you never needed to do. We need you to be Sakura Kobayashi, daughter of the Emperor. Your job is to be a political cannon, nothing more. So, go off and treat these lower-class individuals tonight because it will be the last time you act as a vigilante, trying to make the world a better place. You are our daughter whether you choose to accept it or not. Us Kobayashis, we don’t make the world better Sakura. Surely you understand that.”
The cruel reality of what they’re both asking me to do cuts through me like a rusted out saw. They want me to give up the one thing that brings me joy, the thing that helps the ones who need it most . . . all to be their pawn.
I know my sister had her own reasons for leaving our family, but until today I didn’t understand them. I will go to the shelter tonight and help whoever I can, however, I’ll be calling my godfather on the way and getting the soonest available flight out to Mexico.
I can’t be here anymore, and I know the moment they realize what I’m doing they’ll come after me harder than they’ve ever hunted anyone down.
Chapter One
Family is supposed to be where we find our safe haven. Very often, it’s the place where we find the deepest heartache.
~ Unknown
Sakura
Present Day
I’m sitting in my house at the kitchen island, staring down at the steaming cup of coffee in my hands. It’s the first week of June and my air conditioning isn’t pumping out cool air fast enough. Slowly, I’m sweating until I become a puddle on the floor— or so I think. We’ve hit a record of 117 degrees. One that hasn’t been hit since 2017. Fuck, I’ve never hated being in Las Vegas more than I do right now.
Everything has been pretty quiet here today, especially since Cobra and Izzy left early this morning to see his mom. It’s the first time Izzy will be meeting her, so fingers crossed it goes well. Knowing Izzy though, everything will go smoothly. You can’t hate a bone in that woman’s body.
My doorbell rings so I release the grip I have on my cup and walk out to the front, surprisingly seeing my godfather. “Uncle Eduardo?” I say in complete shock.
He smiles sweetly, placing a hand on my shoulder as he comes inside and shuts my front door behind him. “Hello darling, I hope you’ve been well.”
“W-what are you doing here?”
“Tsk, mija. You of all people should know why I’m here. You do something stupid and I come here.” He draws his brows together and I take note of how the one stress line he had across his forehead has turned to three in the last couple of months.
I roll my eyes, aggravated he’s choosing this moment to speak in riddles. “If you have something to say, then say it.”
“Do you know who I just got off the phone with? Hmm!?” Wow. Someone took his daily dose of sassy today.
“Obviously not, since I’m not a psychic.”
“When did you tell your boyfriend Lucian to take you out of his system?” Fuck. He didn’t. Lucian seriously couldn’t have called my godfather and tattled on me like I’m still a little girl who has to ask permission.
“First of all, Lucian isn’t my boyfriend,” I huff, walking back into my kitchen. If I’m going to have this conversation than I need coffee to help get me through it. “Second of all, how is this any of your business anyway?”
His eyes nearly pop out of his head and his face turns blood red. I guess what they say about Latinos and their tempers is true. I’ve never been unlucky enough to experience it firsthand, though. “Because I’m trying to keep you alive! Have you forgotten your father wants your head for defying him!?”
Picking up my cup of coffee, I take a sip, hating how fucking hot it is. I’m not a fan of iced coffee but the heat of the summer may end up changing my mind. “I’m not the only one he wants dead now, am I?” I counter back, cocking a brow.
“You and I have completely different circumstances.”
“Right,” I roll my eyes yet again. I know my uncle is trying to watch out for me, but he can’t always be my guardian. Sometimes, I’ll have to be the one rolling up my sleeves and getting in the trenches.
Essentially, my uncle and father aren’t getting along because my uncle came to Japan on behalf of his cousin, Francisco, who is the head of the Mexican Cartel. He’s also going into the corrupted political system of Mexico, genuinely trying to right the wrongs of his predecessors. He was hopeful that because of the connection my uncle and father have, he’d be able to get his endorsement and have a potential trade agreement between Mexico and Japan that would be mutually beneficial. My father, being the smug bastard he is, wasn’t interested in the least bit. He told my uncle he shouldn’t get involved in the mess that is politics, and he’s better at doing what he does currently, running the Diaz gang.
It was a slap in the face to my uncle, for that to be said when it’s so important for not only the Diazes but the Lopezes to help their country— not hurt it.
“Your boyfriend, Lucian, he said that he took you out of his program this morning so you won’t be masked over any surveillance cameras anymore. The only reason you’ve been safe thus far is because he was helping cover your tracks. What will you do now?”
“He is not my boyfriend!” I bark, trying to make this old man understand just because two people fucked in the past, it doesn’t automatically mean they’re in a relationship.
“Right,” He mocks me, rolling his eyes like I did earlier. It only further irritates me.
“I’m a big girl who can handle herself. The Reapers are providing me protection since I helped them get Orion back when that crazy man took him. I will be okay,” I doubt my uncle believes it, but it doesn’t matter if he does, because I’m the only one who needs to.
“You cannot seriously say you’re going to be fine going up against your family. What will you do, Sakura?” His tone grows more serious with every word and his stare reminds me of the way I was tested in college.
“I will go up against the Dragon, and I’ll win.”
“I love you dearly, mija, but you won’t win. You will be burned to ash like every man has been before you.” The Dragon is another word for my mother. It’s what the locals call the head of the Yakuza. Part of me wonders if what he’s saying is a cruel metaphor. One that ended up happening to my sister, burned alive in the place where she felt the safest.
I stare into his dark eyes and speak with the most confidence I ever have in my entire life, “Uncle, I love you . . . but please don’t think so little of me. I will find a way to get out of this. I promise. I will find a way. Even if I have to cut the head off the Dragon myself.”
He comes up to me, wraps his arms around my body and holds me close. I wrap my arms around him as well, feeling ten times lighter just being entrapped in his embrace. My uncle is the only one I can count on right now. The only person who I know would never turn his back on me.
Even though the Reapers have welcomed me with open arms, I’m still a stranger. Even though my sister was loved and adored by every member of this club, I can’t change one thing— I’m not Asami, or Saffron as they all knew her. I’m much different and I hope they’ll learn to love me in a fraction of the way they loved her.
I bury my head in his chest and keep every fear, worry and anxious thought at bay. Regardless, I will get through this because I simply don’t have another choice. The stones have already been cast, and I can’t change the past. Not that I would. I did what I knew in my heart was right. It wasn’t just right though, it was the best thing for me.
If I’ve learned anything over the last couple of months, it’s that I should’ve put myself first a long time ago. I wasn’t happy being a pawn, doing someone else’s bidding and being their eyes and ears at parties and galas. I needed to be my own person and I finally am.
I won’t let anyone take this from me, because it’s precious and I feel at peace— even if I may end up losing my life for it. My choice was worth it.
I’ve never felt so free.
Chapter Two
“Develop enough courage so that you can stand up for yourself and then stand up for somebody else.”
~ Maya Angelou
Sakura
My uncle and I sat in the kitchen drinking coffee and iced green tea for a couple hours while we caught up. Over the last couple months we haven’t seen too much of one another. He’s been helping Francisco with whatever he needs on his venture to change the current state Mexico is in. Which means he hasn’t had much time for me. Meanwhile, I’ve been here, protected by the safety that is the Reapers MC.
For a while I was confused on how neither of my parents had found me as of yet, considering I told Lucian to stop running the masking program months ago. I should’ve known he would’ve waited. That maybe he had some hope we’d be able to fall back into what we were before and the mere act of our sexual relations would keep me safe. But I couldn’t keep doing it anymore.
Lucian was great, for a time at least. I think I outgrew it. Although, it was fun. Flying to various cities, having sinful filled nights underneath satin sheets with far too much sake and whiskey. In a sense I felt carefree and it only gave me a taste of what I feel now.
While we caught up I discovered my uncle has been spending much more time in Mexico. However, he’s been trying to stay close to the border in case he’d need to rush back here if something went sideways with me. When he told me, I stared at his caramel skin and looked into his almond colored eyes, and internally thanked the kami for bringing such a blessing into my life.
Chaos: A Reapers MC Boxset Page 57