Walk Into Me

by Jill Prand

  But my body wants Bobby, so much that if we are in the same room I know exactly where he is without looking. I can feel him and he makes me feel wanted like no one else. Our sex life is intense and barely a day goes by that we don’t do it at least once if not two or three times. We literally cannot keep our hands off each other. We practically live together, but in two houses. We spend most weeknights at his place in the city and the weekends here with Jodi and John. Jodi has joked with me that she is going to lower my rent since I am only here two nights a week. Even last week when he had to go to LA overnight, I still stayed at his place; it is just easier with work.

  We have started talking about me moving in permanently, but I’m not ready for that yet. I still want to keep a separate address, have somewhere to go that is mine, even if it is really Jodi’s house. As I am thinking about all this, I feel him come up behind me.

  “What you thinking about baby?” He asks as he wraps his arm around me drawing me close.

  “Just about Brad and how I’m glad he’s here,” I reply as I lean back into him pressing against his hard body. My head falls against his shoulder and I turn it so I can kiss him. Our lips meet and I feel the heat starting to build between my legs. His hand caresses my stomach and I moan into his mouth then push my ass into his growing erection. We are in a room full of people, but it doesn’t seem to matter when we’re together.

  We break the kiss and he whispers in my ear, “Can we sneak out for a few minutes?” “No, it’s my party, I can’t leave,” I turn around and put my arms around his neck. “You can wait until everyone’s gone,” I smile at him and bring his mouth down licking along his bottom lip. It’s his turn to groan before pulling away and looking into my eyes.

  He caresses my cheek with his knuckles, “I just want you to be happy, you know that right?” “Yes Bobby, I know. I just still feel bad about the way I hurt him and I need to talk to him. I need you to let us talk alone after the party, if he stays,” I say as I look around and spot Brad talking to Joe. He glances over at us and I smile at him. He gives me a wink and I have hope that he will be able to handle this and be part of my life.

  Bobby draws my attention back to him, “I will leave you alone for a little while, but don’t ask me to like it,” he tells me. I know that he still thinks that Brad is going to find a way to take me away, but that is not the kind of feeling I have for Brad even if my stomach fluttered from that wink.

  “You know I love you, right?” I play with his hair at the nape of his neck, “I am not going anywhere.” I don’t really understand his insecurities, I have never left him.

  “I just don’t understand why he is so important to you. You have Jodi for a best friend; why do you need him, too?”

  “He was my best friend first and he’s gotten the short end of the stick for a long time. I need to make it up to him. He didn’t deserve what we did to him at that concert,” I explain even as my voice is getting louder and I feel my face flushing. I have to calm down or everyone will be privy to our conversation and I don’t want that. “Just let me work this out with him; I have to try. Please understand.” I let him go and walk away. I spot my mom talking to Jodi and head towards them.

  Jodi can see I’m upset and says something to my mom that I can’t hear. My mom turns to me and draws me into a hug while asking, “How’s the birthday girl?”

  “Frustrated with the man in her life,” I tell her. “Why does he get to be insecure in this relationship, but I’m expected to trust him?” Jodi looks at me incredulously. “He’s insecure? The two of you are attached at the hip in more ways than one. You totally broke Brad’s heart again for him.”

  “I know and all I want is a little time with Brad alone after the party to talk to him. I can’t do it with Bobby there. Is that too much to ask?” I look at my mom.

  “No Lisa, it’s not,” she tells me. “You just need to be patient with Bobby. This is new to him, too, and you are still getting to know each other again. If you are feeling insecure about him leaving, he is insecure about screwing up again. I know he loves you, that’s obvious, maybe even too much. When you were together in high school you gave up almost everyone for him. The only people you had contact with were people you both knew except for Jodi, and even then you drew her in and she found her place in your world. He never had to deal with Brad then because you didn’t really hang out with him, he wasn’t in that crowd. Just give both of them time to adjust.”

  I love my mom, she always gives the best advice. I don’t know what I would do without her. I give her a hug as I say, “Thanks Mom.”

  “You’re welcome, honey. I am always here for you,” she responds as she hugs me back.

  Brad

  I’ve been watching her all night, trying not to be conspicuous about it. I saw the fight she had with Bobby, I think it was about me, but that may be just wishful thinking. I know if push comes to shove, she will choose him over me.

  I’ve talked to Joe and John and I know that she’s missed me. They both think that Lisa is happy, but there is something missing. They are not convinced that Bobby and Lisa will last. Of course, even if they do end up apart, that doesn’t mean she would be with me. She never had those feelings for me and I know that.

  The party is winding down. I see Lisa’s mother and step-father getting ready to leave and I go over to say goodbye. Her mom was always nice to me, almost treated me like a son, which was nice since my parents weren’t the loving type. Lisa’s step-father, Klaus, is the same way: very German and does not show much emotion unless he is yelling.

  “Goodbye, Mrs. G. It was nice seeing you again,” I say as I lean down to kiss her cheek. “Brad, I keep telling you that you can call me Nancy now,” she remarks as she hugs me. “I want you to be patient with Lisa,” she whispers in my ear. “She is still finding her way.”

  “I will,” I promise her, but I’m a little confused by what she means. I shake her husband’s hand as Lisa and Bobby come up.

  “Bye, Mom,” Lisa murmurs as she hugs her. “Thank you for coming. Are you sure you don’t want us to get you a room? I don’t like the fact that you are driving back to PA tonight.”

  “We’ll be fine,” her mom tells her. “You know we like to sleep in our own bed.” Her mom would stay, but her step-father wants to go home. Her mom was always the cool mom; she had parties knowing we would drink, but all she did was take our keys away when we walked in and made sure everyone knew they were staying the night. It wasn’t that she supplied us the alcohol, but she knew us all well enough to know that someone would bring some.

  Bobby gives mom a hug, too, and shakes Klaus’s hand. “Be careful and let us know when you get home, even if you just leave a message on Lisa’s phone.”

  They agree and walk out to their car. Bobby gives Lisa a hug and says, “I’m going to help clean up. Why don’t you take the gifts into your bedroom? Brad can you help her?”

  Wow, I’m amazed! Bobby is actually giving us a way to be alone for a little while. Lisa reaches up and kisses his jaw. “Thank you, babe.” Then she turns and takes my hand, leading me to the table that holds her gifts. “Think we can make this in one trip?” She asks me.

  I put my arms out. “Load me up,” I joke, smiling at her. She graces me with an awesome smile while putting packages in my arms and hanging gift bags from my fingers. In minutes, she has almost the entire contents of the table loaded on me. The only thing left are cards and my gift. “I’ll take these,” she says as she smirks at me. “You good?”

  “Yeah, I can handle it,” I follow her to her room trying not to drop anything. I make it into her room just as one of the boxes starts to slip. I try to save it, but by doing that two others are falling. I sprint to her bed and open my arms, and all but the one that was originally falling land on the bed. “I hope that wasn’t breakable,” I comment as I glance at the gift on the floor.

  I hear her laugh behind me. God, I love that sound. “I’m surprised you only dropped one,” she chuckles. “You shoul
d have seen your face.” She comes over to the bed still laughing and clears off a place for us to sit. I drop down next to her and pull her into me; I just need to hold her. I breathe her in and I am instantly hard. Why do I always react this way to her when she has no interest? “I missed you,” I whisper.

  She keeps her head on my shoulder. “I missed you, too, and I’m sorry.” She sits up and pulls away from me so she can look in my eyes. “I never meant to leave you like that, but when Bobby showed up I couldn’t think of anything other than getting in his arms.” She looks down at her hands before speaking again. “I know that hurts you and you have no idea what I would do to take that pain away.”

  I can’t stay mad at her; I never could. I know she is hurting for me and I love her all the more for it. If she just turned away from me and locked me out of her life, maybe I could get over her. Our lives are intertwined now, her friends are my friends. The only people I talk to from high school are the same ones she talks to; so unless I want to cut ties with all of them, I need to figure out a way to deal. I take her hands in mine, she looks up at me with tears in her eyes and I just want to pull her into my arms and tell her everything is alright and I will be here for her forever. Instead I say, “I know you don’t want to hurt me Lisa, but I can’t tell you that seeing you with Bobby is easy for me. At the same time, I want to see you and be a part of your life.”

  The tears fall from her eyes and she leans against me. I put my arms around her and hug her wishing I could pull her onto my lap, but that would be hard on both of us. I stroke my hand up and down her back hoping it will be comfort enough because if I touch her any more I won’t be able to stop. I pull back slightly. “Why don’t you open your present?”

  She grabs the box behind her shaking it lightly; she can hear jingling. I know this is something that she will appreciate and give her a place to go if she needs to think. She looks up at me before opening. “What is it?” She asks me quietly.

  “Open it and find out,” I tell her with an evil smirk. She rips the paper, opens the box, and gasps at the contents. “Are these keys to your boat?” She takes out the keys attached to a floatable buoy. Her eyes light up and I know I picked the perfect gift.

  “Yes, I made you a set. You can take it out whenever you want, just make sure you gas it up when you use it. I don’t want to get half way down the river and run out,” I say as I smile at her. “I want to take you out the first time to show you the channels so you don’t run aground again, but after that you have free reign.”

  Laughing she says, “Well, I wasn’t driving last time we ran aground, but I have no problem going out with you to make sure it won’t happen to me.” She hugs me before adding, “You have no idea how much I need this, thank you.”

  Now seems like the perfect time to see how she’s really doing. “So, you are happy aren’t you?”

  She looks up at me and shrugs. “I am and I’m not.”

  “Why not?” “I know Bobby loves me; that’s not it.” She drops her eyes and looks away from me. “I just can’t seem to trust that he’s not going to leave me again.” She leans against me like she always does when something is bothering her.

  “You know he’s not your dad, right?” Lisa has had issues with people leaving her since her father left her and her mother for a younger woman. It is really hard for her to trust people. It didn’t help that her father always had to have the best of everything. Always a better house, bigger boat, newer car. By the time she came to live near me she had been in five other schools because her father always needed to upgrade their house. He probably would’ve made them move again before she was done with school if he hadn’t left them.

  “But he’s left before, too. I just can’t seem to trust him all the way. I’m not sure he even knows that I’m not all there yet. I mean...I’m wearing the necklace he gave me and we are practically never apart other than to work,” she says with a sigh. “Maybe that is the problem. I need some time to myself to just relax. That’s why this is the perfect gift.” She twirls the keys around her finger. “I can get out on the water, even if it is just to run down the river and think.”

  “Well, it maybe a little cold out there now.” I laugh trying to lighten her mood.

  “I’m so glad you’re back. I’ve really needed to talk to you. You ground me, you know.” Hugging her to me I say, “I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you.” I feel like shit now, knowing she needed me and I just checked out. No matter what, I can’t do that to her again; she’s had too many people walk out of her life.

  “I understand, Brad. I hurt you and you needed time to heal. I’m just glad you came back; I was getting worried you wouldn’t.” Her words cut me to the core. I always promised her I would be there no matter what. I was the one person who swore never to leave her and I know she counted on that. If any part of the reason she is not happy is because of me I will never forgive myself. “Well, I’m back now and I won’t leave again. You will always have me, Lisa.” Kissing the top of her head I rub my hand up and down her back trying to pour all my love into her.

  “I don’t deserve you, Brad,” she mumbles as she sniffles into my shirt. “You deserve everything you want, Lisa.” And she does; she’s always been a little broken, but she puts on a great front for everyone but me.

  Laughter from in the hall interrupts us and she pulls away from me. “I guess we should get back out there.” She stands up and offers me her hand. “Ready?”

  No, I’m not. I want to stay in this room with her for the rest of my life and just hold her, but that isn’t an option. “Sure,” I say standing. She puts on a show for everyone else, the least I can do is put one on for her. We walk out of her bedroom holding hands until she spots Bobby. She lets go of me and walks straight into his arms.

  Bobby shoots me an accusatorial look, but he the question he poses is directed to Lisa. “You okay, baby?”

  Lisa

  How do I tell Bobby that I feel like a hole in me has closed since talking to Brad? “I’m fine, babe.” Showing him my present, I say, “Brad just gave me the best present: keys to his boat. I can take it out any time I want.”

  “We can go out on my boat whenever you want to get out on the water, baby. You don’t need those.” He doesn’t understand and it makes me mad that he would just dismiss Brad’s gift.

  “This is for when I want to go out by myself and think. I don’t really have a place to go to do that anymore.” How do I explain this without him feeling like I’m shutting him out? He wants us to share everything and I just need some space. I turn in his arms and look at Brad. He understands.

  It’s funny that Brad and I have gotten so close again after all these years of being apart. Bobby won’t find it funny. I’ve realized in the last few weeks that he really is one of those alpha males. He is so possessive of me, it seems like the only person he trusts with me is John. He’s even growled at his guys for flirting with me. I had to laugh at that one and it only eggs them on. It is almost suffocating how much time we spend together.

  “Can we talk about this later?” I ask him, since I need to say goodbye to the few people still here and if Bobby and I get into this now that won’t happen.

  Stepping out of his arms I go into the kitchen to see what still needs to be done. Jodi is putting the last few glasses in the dishwasher. She smiles at me as I come in. “You okay? How did your talk with Brad go?”

  I show her the keys. “My birthday present.”

  “Did he give it to you?” She manages to ask as her jaw drops.

  Laughing, I say, “No. They are just copies. He is letting me use it whenever I want.”

  “Damn, that man knows you so well. You’ve been itching to go pondering on the water haven’t you?” Jodi knows me, too. “Yeah, I sorta need to do that. I mean I love Bobby and all, but I’ve started feeling claustrophobic not having a place to be by myself. I guess only child syndrome rears its ugly head.” I laugh. “Now I just have to figure a way to explain it to Bobby without him fre
aking out.”

  John walks in and asks, “What’s Bobby freaking out about now?” Shushing him, I hiss. “Nothing and keep your voice down. I just have to figure out how to tell him I need some alone time.”

  “Feeling a little penned in are you?” John has always been astute. “Look, Lisa, if you need some time for yourself, you just need to tell him. He goes for those five mile runs every day, right?” I nod. “Well, that is his time to think things through. Everyone needs that time and if yours is out on the water, he just needs to deal with it.”

  I hug him. He has a way of putting everything into perspective. Jodi is one lucky woman. “Thank you. That is exactly what I will tell him. Jodes, you need to give this man some extra loving tonight.”

  She comes over and nestles in between us. “Oh, he will be getting more than his share of loving tonight.”

  Pulling a beer out of the fridge, I ask, “So what else needs to be done? And is there anyone left but us?” “Clean-up is about done. I just need to turn on the dishwasher and John can take out the trash.” She runs her hand down his chest. That is my cue to leave.

  Walking out to the living room I notice Brad standing by the stereo alone. Bobby is talking to Chris and Tom from his company. They’ve become friends to me in a short time, admitting me into their group. Bobby has saved both their lives and they’ve returned the favor a time or two.

  I walk over to them and Chris throws an arm around me. “There’s the birthday girl! So, I haven’t given you your birthday kiss yet.” He starts to lower his head to me and Bobby pulls me out of his arms.

  “Get your own girl and leave mine alone,” he growls. Chris holds up his hands while Tom laughs and I try to hide a smile. It is so easy to rile him sometimes.