by Jill Prand
Jodi looks at Lisa, “You’re really trying to get me fat right? But if you have your heart set on it I guess I could eat half a meatball.”
“Not to worry babe, I’ll finish it for you,” John says. “Brad, I’ll go with you to pick them up.” We got our jackets on. I didn’t need to ask what Lisa wanted on hers, we’d all been eating at Hero Hut since junior high. John told me to drive and once we got in, he turned to me. “Give me the letter, Brad. I want to be forewarned as to what we’re going to be dealing with.” I pulled it out of my pocket and gave it to him then started the car.
He didn’t say much as he read it. He is Bobby’s friend, too, so I’m sure the thought of Bobby not coming back affected him. He puts it back in the envelope and seems to be bracing himself to speak. He looks out the window watching the familiar landmarks go by. John never left Bohemia and I don’t think he ever plans on living anywhere else. He is a steadfast friend and loyal to Jodi; he’s the guy everyone should aspire to be, but when he is mad, which isn’t often, he shuts down completely. He would rather say nothing at all then say something he will regret. It drives Jodi up the wall because he won’t fight with her, he just walks away until he can rationalize what he wants to say calmly. I think that is what he is doing now.
We reach Hero Hut and he still has not said a word. We get out and right before we walk through the door he says, “This is really bad, Brad.” I can only nod in agreement. Hopefully by the time we get back in the car he will have worked out a plan to keep both Lisa and Jodi from going off the deep end.
We order and wait for Mrs. Johnson to make our sandwiches. She’s been here forever and she knows most of us by name. Her daughter, Judy, went to school with us and a few of us hung out here with her after school sometimes. Mrs. Johnson would always make a couple of heros, split them up and put the plate on our table. She never asked for any money as long as we were studying and staying quiet.
It takes about fifteen minutes for our order to be ready and we make sure that we tip Mrs. Johnson after we pay. I remember the big fight about the tip jar the first time Mr. Johnson put it out. Mrs. Johnson said that they were making enough on the sandwiches, but Mr. Johnson said that it had been requested by some of the customers so he put it out. I think they’ve made a lot off the tip jars because everyone I knew always left at least a dollar in there.
John finally starts talking on the way back. “Brad, I’m not sure how to handle this. I think one of us should read his letter to her before she does, but on the other hand it’s a gross invasion of privacy to read it unless she asks us to. I have a feeling if this is for real and not just a ploy to keep her then there will be some really surprising stuff in there.”
“Why, what do you know?” I’m getting frustrated because John clearly knows more than he’s letting on and he’s been keeping it from Lisa. “If you know something that can potentially hurt her, you have to tell me John. I want to be able to help her.”
“Brad, if he doesn’t come back and he’s revealed his secrets to her she will need your strength, but I can’t tell you why. Bobby has told me a couple of things confidentially and I have to honor that,” he says.
This is bullshit! I want to know what he knows! The rest of the ride back is done in silence. I am actually taking a page out of John’s book because if I open my mouth right now I will probably say something to end this friendship. Bobby doesn’t deserve to have any secrets from Lisa. If he wanted a real relationship with her he would have told her everything up front.
We get back and the girls have drinks and paper plates waiting for us. We all sit around the coffee table instead of going into the kitchen. The atmosphere is strained, but at least everyone is eating. I’m glad Lisa has not lost her appetite. Right after Bobby left the first time we all had to force Lisa to eat. I don’t want to have to go back to those days. I know she’s grown up since then, but the way he affects her I don’t know what coping mechanism she’ll use this time.
Once we finish and the girls have thanked us for dinner it’s time to face the music. Lisa plops herself in my lap and gives me a half smile. “I think I’m ready,” she says, “but please hold me while I read it.”
I put my hands on her cheeks so she can’t look away. “I will be here for whatever you need. I’m not going anywhere and I will gladly hold you whenever you want me to, all you need to do is ask.” I draw her head to my chest while I reach behind me into my back pocket for the letter.
When I hand it to her she shifts to put her back to my chest and she takes the letter out. She opens it and then leans back against me taking a huge breath. I know she is trying to give herself the courage to deal with this so I tell her, “Just remember that as of right now nothing has happened. We’ve had no news of him being anything but fine.” I wrap one arm around her waist while my other hand runs back and forth from her shoulder to her elbow.
She starts to read and I can feel her shaking. I continue to stroke her trying to give her as much of my strength as I can. She gasps a couple of times and sobs as she gets closer to the end. When she is done she just holds it out towards Jodi. Jodi takes it and scans it and I see her glance at John with a look of contempt. I guess she knows that Bobby has told things to John that he’s never shared with her.
Jodi turns to me and asks, “When did you speak with Jimmy and what did he say?” I take hold of Lisa’s legs and turn her so she is sideways on my lap. “Jimmy told me that Bobby’s real job is as a mercenary doing dangerous missions that the US government can’t perform for legal reasons. The jobs his team goes on are usually either assassination missions or recovery of classified personnel.”
Lisa runs her hand lightly over my jaw. “Why didn’t you say something to me?” She’s adorable especially when she is sucking her bottom lip into her mouth. How do I tell her that I thought it was for her own good and Bobby should have had the balls to tell her himself? “What was I supposed to do, Lisa? I got back into town the same day as your party and he shipped out the following night. When was the right time to tell you the man you’re sleeping with is actually a killer for hire?” That last statement really hurts her because she’s always said to me that Bobby had too big a heart to kill anyone. She pulls away from me and makes to stand up. I pull her back and force her to look at me. “Lisa, I’m sorry, but I think it’s time you took your head out of the sand and see Bobby for the man he is. You’ve been navigating through a minefield of old memories where he is concerned. We just want to make sure you have all the facts before you ask the next question.”
Glaring at me she asks, “And what do you think the next question is I’m going to ask?”
I know what she’s going to ask. She’s going to want to read her letter, but she’ll ask us all for permission first. “You’re going to ask if you should read your letter now.”
She sags against me and then hits her fist into my chest. It’s doesn’t hurt, she’s not really putting anything behind it. It’s just the action itself she needs. “How do you know me so well?”
I enclose her within my arms. “Because, pretty girl, I’ve loved you for a long time.” We sit there like that, rocking back and forth for a few minutes before Jodi finally breaks the silence. “I think one of us should read your letter first, Lisa. I know it’s private and many things in it are meant only for you, but if one of us scans it quickly we can try to soften the blow.”
I’m not sure that is such a great idea. If she wants us to know what he said she can either tell us or let us read it after she has. To be honest, I don’t want to read him telling her how much he loves her, his letter to me drives me crazy enough.
Lisa turns to Jodi. “I know you mean well, Jodes, but if I read it I need to do it alone. Whatever secrets Bobby reveals I will make the determination if I can share them or if I need to keep them to myself.”
John comes over and kneels in front of us. “I know quite a few of his secrets, Lisa. I couldn’t tell you because they were told to me in confidence and I promised not
to tell anyone, even Jodi. But once you read the letter and if you need someone to talk to without revealing the secrets to someone else I would feel honored if you chose me.”
“Thank you, John, you’re a good friend,” she says. She leans into me, “I’m not going to read it tonight. I’m going to wait and let everything else settle a few days. I have to get through the Christmas Party tomorrow and I have a bunch of shopping and wrapping to do this weekend. If I keep busy I can hopefully make it until he gets back.”
So she’s going to try the wait and see approach. I think she just can’t take any more emotionally right now. At this point her boyfriend is gone and he might not come back, she’s now sleeping with her best friend and trying to figure out where he fits into her life. If that wasn’t enough she has to face her ex tomorrow at her company Christmas Party. I’d say she has enough to handle without adding whatever secrets Bobby has been keeping from her to the mix. She’s already learned one and I don’t think it has sunk in yet.
“Whatever you want, Lisa.” I feel like a broken record now, but she comes first. “We’re all here for you if you need us.”
Jodi tries to lighten the mood. “How about we watch a movie? I can make popcorn and we can choose a comedy.” John moves over to the dvd collection. “I have just the thing to watch,” He pulls out Jingle All The Way with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad. It’s one of those Christmas movies that’s so stupid you have to laugh.
“Looks good to me,” I tell him. “What do you think, Lisa?”
She nods her head and starts to get up. “I’ll go help Jodi. Do you guys want a beer?” We both agree and she disappears into the kitchen.
Lisa
Last night sucked. Well, most of it sucked and today will probably suck, too. Waking up in Brad’s arms doesn’t suck though. After the movie last night I asked him to stay with me. I didn’t want to be alone, I needed his strength and his love.
Bobby is a hired killer. Does it matter that the people he kills are threats to the US? Is it the same as being in the Army? I don’t know. Is he a different man now that I know? I’m not sure. Do I still want him back? I think so, but I need him to be honest with me. I need to know more about this secret life of his. I understand he will probably not be able to tell me specifics and, truthfully, I don’t want all the gory details, but I want to be included. I need to feel like I am part of his whole life with no important secrets between us. What he does for a living is an important part of him and I need to be involved.
I glance over at Brad. What do I do about him? He’s never had a great life. His abusive father saw to it that he never wanted to be home. Then of course he’s been in love with me, the girl who couldn’t see past the guy that left to what was right in front of her. I should have given him a chance a long time ago but I had closed myself off. I realize that now, I had been in a holding pattern after Bobby left. I never gave anyone a chance to take his place. Would Brad and I have still been together if I had opened myself up to him after that New Year’s Eve? I will never know, but I want to give him a chance now. I hope it’s not too late, but I still have to deal with my feelings for Bobby as well.
Is it really love I feel for Bobby? Can you love someone who you don’t really know? My body reacts to him, but is that just lust? Bobby came barreling into my life literally and never really left. His memory has always been there blocking me from all others. I never felt that instantaneous spark with anyone else. But don’t you have to be open to feel it?
Now with Brad my body has started to wake up to the possibility of someone else. It’s not as intense a feeling as with Bobby, but I definitely react to him being close to me. Once we get going the fervor burns just as brightly. I want to get to know his body, just as intimately as I know his heart and he’s got a great heart. I know without a doubt that he would do anything to make me happy. He’s ripped himself apart to give me what I thought I needed. And I let him, what kind of person does that make me?
I’m jostled away from my thoughts when Brad’s lips meet mine. “What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours so early?” He asks against my lips.
I grab ahold of his hair and crush my lips against his opening to let my tongue gently lick the seam of his mouth. He opens and his tongue immediately starts to dance with mine. I feel as well as hear the growl that comes from the back of his throat and it turns me on. I feel my sex start coming to life, a dampness is beginning to build in my panties. He strokes down my side to my hip then presses my whole body closer to his, I can feel his erection against my stomach and I whimper. I want to feel him inside me. My fingers grope for the bottom of his shirt and I start to lift it while touching his abs and feel him flinch and his groan echoes through my mouth straight to my already weeping sex. I scratch my nails over his nipples loving the way he reacts to me. Both of his hands are now inside my panties squeezing my ass and I throw my leg over his hip to align myself with his cock. He rolls onto his back taking me with him so I am now straddling him. He sits up so I can get his shirt over his head and he whips mine off leaving us both with just underwear. He captures one of my nipples in his mouth and sucks, licks and bites until I call out his name then he does the same to the other. My one arm is wrapped around his head holding him to me while the other explores the muscles of his back as I grind on him.
“I need to be inside you,” he says as he kisses his way up to my mouth. I need that, too. I stand up with him between my legs and push my panties down and off. My clit is so close to his face and he takes advantage pressing in and smelling me. “Have to taste you.” He lifts my leg over his shoulder and laps at me.
I tilt my hips to give him better access and grab ahold of his hair, “Brad, God don’t stop.” He sucks my clit in and scrapes his teeth across it while pushing a finger inside of me then follows with a second. Stroking them in and out of me pressing against the front wall of my pussy and hitting that one spot on both the in and out pass. My orgasm is building and I move one of my hands to my nipple and pull and twist it. I am panting now. “I’m gonna come.”
Not moving his lips from me he says, “Do it, pretty girl, come all over my face.” The vibrations from him talking push me over the edge and I scream my release. My leg can no longer support me and he helps guide me down to the bed, his fingers still inside me prolonging my orgasm. He starts to kiss up my body and suddenly I can’t wait to have him inside me. “Now, Brad. I need you inside me now.” He’s not moving fast enough for me and I sit up, bracing my hands behind me. He looks up at me and I growl at him, “Take your fucking boxers off and get inside me.”
He smiles at me like he is indulging a petulant child. “Alright, pretty girl.” He kneels up and he is free of his boxers in seconds and I reach for him. His cock is hard and silky in my hand as I move my fingers along the vein at the bottom. I cup his balls and draw them forward pulling gently until he crushes my mouth with his. I open my legs to him and guide him inside tilting my hips to meet his. He fills me totally, but he’s not moving and I need the friction of his movement. His elbows are bracing him above me, “Is this what you want, Lisa?”
“Yes and no,” I pant, “Please move, Brad.” I try to push him up with my hips, but he has me pinned to the mattress. He pulls out slowly until I can barely feel him then plunges back in and stops again. “Like that?” He murmurs into my ear.
Who knew Brad could be playful in bed? I’m seeing a whole different side of him. “Stop teasing me, Brad, fuck me.”
Again he pulls almost all the way out and slams back into me. Again and again, but it is a slow rhythm and I need more, “Faster, Brad.” He picks up the pace a bit, but still achingly slow.
He looks into my eyes. “I want to savor you, Lisa. I’ve waited so long to be inside of you and I want to make it last.” There are beads of sweat building on his brow and a sheen on his body from the effort of holding back.
I pull him down so I can kiss him and let all the passion I’m feeling move through my tongue into him. I use my i
nternal muscles to squeeze him and I know the exact moment his resolve breaks. He captures my hands and holds them above me while he starts pounding into me, harder and faster. Small orgasms are surging through me just building me up and all at once I explode. My whole body tingles in waves so intense that I can no longer hear our coupling, my senses have all deserted me so the only thing I can feel is the pleasure rocketing all the way to my toes. Brad follows me with a yell when he releases and he falls on top of me.
When we finally calm Brad rolls off of me and gets out of bed. Confused I ask him, “Where are you going?”
He smiles that special smile he saves only for me, “To start a bath, sweetheart. After that I think we could use one.” I swear he is perfect! Once I think my legs can actually hold me up I follow him into the bathroom. He is testing the water in the tub with a toe. He turns as I approach him and looks me up and down smiling like a wolf. “Is there ever a time you don’t look perfect?”
I put one hand on his chest to steady myself as I enter the tub, “I’m only perfect in your eyes, Brad.” “Well, my eyes are the only ones that count,” he tells me climbing in behind me. It’s a tight squeeze and his knees are snugly braced against my legs, but as I lean back and he wraps his arms around me I don’t care how cramped we are. I feel secure and loved.
“I wish I could blow off this party and come with you tonight,” I tell him. Just the thought of having to deal with Stuart and that bitch, Alice, is enough to make me dread it, but I know I will also have to deflect questions on where Bobby is, meaning I will just be worrying all night.
“You were looking forward to it earlier in the week, what happened?” He is running a washcloth up and down my arms and across my shoulders.
I whimper a little as he moves to soap up my chest, gently drawing the washcloth along my nipples, “Stuart called yesterday and he is bringing a date. One of the girls I used to work with in Atlanta, she is a shrew who was always trying to steal my clients.” I lean back to give him better access to me as he starts to move down my body, “And everyone will ask where Bobby is and I will have to lie.”