Spinning Forward

by Terri DuLong

  “Noah?”

  He turned his head toward me. “What?”

  “Would it be alright if I spent the night here with you? I think that would be best.”

  A smile crossed his face. “Have I told you that you make brilliant decisions?”

  I was awakened the following morning to the sound of my cell phone ringing on Noah’s bedside table. Reaching for it, I was instantly alert.

  “Sydney, this is Barbara, the nurse. No need to rush, but Sybile had a restless night. She’s fading in and out of consciousness. I thought you might want to be with her.”

  “I’ll be there within an hour,” I said, already swinging my feet to the floor.

  40

  It had been a long, draining day. I sat at Sybile’s bedside, holding her hand, watching her sleep. Glancing over my shoulder I saw Saren and Monica sitting on the sofa. Dora had stepped outside for some air and the nurse sat quietly on the other side of the bed reading a novel.

  How many times had I done this, I wondered? Sat with somebody as they made the transition and passed over? A lot. But I hadn’t even been with my adopted mother or father when they died. They had gone quickly in a hospital.

  Sybile’s eyes fluttered open, focusing on my face. “It’s a girl, you know. I’ve had a baby girl,” she said clearly.

  I squeezed my mother’s hand. “I know.”

  Sybile’s eyes closed momentarily only to snap open. “She’s beautiful. Have you seen her? She’s the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen and I love her.”

  I nodded, feeling wetness on my face. “I know you do. She loves you too.”

  Sybile’s eyes closed as she drifted back into that in-between plane. That place where she had to journey alone.

  But as long as she’s here, she’s not alone, I thought, finding it ironic that this woman, whose blood ran through my own veins, had given me life and now…I sat beside this woman as life ebbed out of her.

  “Why don’t you take a break?” I heard Monica say and felt a hand on my shoulder.

  I nodded and got up. Walking out to the deck, I saw Dora sitting at the table staring out over the water.

  “Any change?” she asked.

  I shook my head.

  Dora wiped her eyes with a tissue. “I’m going to miss her.”

  “We’re all going to miss her.”

  I was dozing on the sofa and awoke to a touch on my hand. Opening my eyes, I saw Noah kneeling in front of me. Momentarily disoriented, I looked around the Lighthouse and realized that the vigil was still continuing.

  “What time is it?” I asked, stretching.

  Taking my hand to his lips, he said, “Eight o’clock. Are you hungry? Can I get you anything?”

  I looked to the other side of the room and saw Saren, Monica, and Dora standing around the bed while the nurse rearranged the pillows, making Sybile more comfortable.

  I shook my head. “No, but thank you. Any change?”

  “I heard the nurse tell them that Sybile’s breathing was slowing down.”

  Letting out a deep sigh, I got up. “I need some air,” I said, walking out to the deck.

  Noah followed. Placing his arm around my waist, he said, “Birth and death. Neither one is easy, is it?”

  Looking out to the purple and pink sky, I shook my head. “Not at all.”

  After a few minutes I went back inside and prepared another pot of coffee. Standing in the kitchen waiting for it to brew, I looked over at Saren. Leaning over the bed, he clasped Sybile’s hands in his. “It’s okay, Sybi, it’s okay to pass on,” I heard him say. “I’ll be alright. I’ve got my girls now, ya know. The girls that you’ve given me. I love you, Sybi, and we’ll be together again. I’ve always loved you.”

  I brushed away tears as I filled mugs of coffee. Bringing them into the living room, I saw Dora was now with Sybile, talking quietly to her sister.

  Taking two cups of coffee, I joined Noah on the deck, passing one to him. “They’re saying their good-byes.”

  “I know. That’s why I came out here. I didn’t want to intrude. Thanks for the coffee.”

  “God, I want a cigarette.”

  “Where are they? I’ll get them for you.”

  I took a deep breath and shook my head. “No. I’ve quit.”

  Noah looked at me sharply. “Just like that?”

  “Just like that.” I took a deep gulp of coffee. “It’s pure hell, I won’t lie.”

  “You’re strong,” he said, pulling me close. “And I’m right here for moral support.”

  Finishing the coffee, I walked back in the house. Monica glanced up from Sybile’s bedside and walked toward me.

  “How’re you holding up?” she asked.

  “Okay. I’m going to sit with Sybile for a while.”

  Glancing over at the nurse, I reached for my mother’s hand. “Thank you for telling me,” I whispered. “Thank you for telling me who my father is. And thank you for being my mother. I love you, Sybile.”

  The bedside clock read 9:07. A sense of calm covered my mother’s face. Maybe it was only a reflex, but I felt my hand being squeezed in the same moment I realized my birth time was 9:07 P.M.—and in the same moment Sybile exhaled her final breath.

  “She’s gone,” I said softly.

  Three days later Noah maneuvered his boat away from Atsena Otie and headed back to the city dock. Sybile’s farewell had gone precisely as she’d wanted it. The music, the poems, the gardenia petals.

  “Fly free and soar, Billie,” I heard my daughter say.

  Watching the flowers float by in the water, something else caught my eye. A school of four dolphins had swum up beside the boat, jumping and diving. I smiled. “Well, Sybile didn’t have that on my list of instructions, but maybe she placed this request with someone else.”

  Everyone came to the railing to enjoy the graceful antics. “Leave it to Sybile,” Saren said.

  Monica laughed. “Yup, she didn’t leave a stone unturned.”

  “If I didn’t know better, I’d say she ordered up this gorgeous day too,” Dora said.

  Brilliant sunshine filled the sky and after all the heat and humidity of a Florida summer, early October was proving an enjoyable respite.

  Halfway between Atsena Otie and Cedar Key, I felt moisture on my arm as I looked up and realized that despite the sunshine, a cloudburst was above us. Everyone gathered under the bimini, as rain fell from the sky.

  I shook my head and laughed. “I think Sybile’s letting us know she approved of her farewell.”

  Arriving back at the Lighthouse, I saw quite a few cars already in the driveway. “I’m glad Polly said she’d come early to greet people,” I said, getting out of the golf cart and running up the stairs.

  Only a few weeks before, Sybile had changed her mind on a small gathering of select people. She instructed me to put a notice in the local paper inviting everyone who’d like to drop by to pay their final respects. She’d also given me a check to pay for a catered buffet lunch.

  “Thank you so much for getting here early, Polly.”

  “It was my pleasure. The staff from Island Room has everything all set up,” she said pointing to all the food covering counters and the table.

  People began arriving, many carrying homemade pies, cakes, and casseroles. “So you won’t have to cook for a while,” they told me.

  Within an hour the house was packed and guests were overflowing out to the wrap-around deck.

  “Quite a crowd, isn’t it?” Noah slipped an arm around my waist.

  “It certainly is. I wasn’t sure if it would only be the six of us or if we’d have a full house. Sybile would be pleased.”

  Saren was clapping his hands for attention, waving a newspaper in the air. People quieted down to hear him.

  I looked at Noah questioningly. He shrugged his shoulders.

  “I’d like to read y’all something,” Saren said with importance. “I took the liberty of placing this here notice in today’s Cedar Key News. And for th
ose of you that haven’t seen it yet, I’d like to read it to you.”

  I raised my eyebrows waiting to hear what he’d say.

  “Sybile Mae Bowden and Saren Carl Ghetti would like to announce the birth of their daughter, Sydney Lynn Webster, on March nineteenth, nineteen fifty-five and the birth of their granddaughter, Monica Webster, on October twenty-fourth, nineteen eighty-one. It is with great pride that this announcement is made.”

  A loud round of cheers and claps filled the room as Saren reached for a large box and began passing out cigars, a pink label attached, to everyone.

  I looked at Monica and started laughing. Moisture filled my eyes as I realized that due to the reaction, most of those in attendance had already read the paper or heard the news via the infamous coconut pipeline of the island. There was no doubt that both my daughter and I were being warmly accepted—accepted as Sybile Bowden’s kin. Something Sybile was never sure would happen.

  I looked up at Noah standing beside me. A huge grin covered his face. “You knew he was putting that in the paper, didn’t you?”

  “Guilty. He asked if I thought you’d approve.”

  “Obviously you felt you knew me well enough to say yes.”

  Noah pulled me into an embrace. Kissing me, he said, “Obviously.”

  41

  A few days after the memorial service, I was at the yarn shop catching up on back orders. Although maybe Noah had been right about me taking some time off, I had a responsibility to my customers, and they had grown considerably since I’d started my business. Hearing the wind chimes, I was surprised to look up and see Alison walk through the door.

  “Now don’t tell me you finally decided to knit.”

  “Right. I’m not telling you that. I’d only manage to get myself all tangled up in that yarn. I stopped by to see you. You’ve been so busy lately I’ve missed your company.”

  “Let me put some coffee on. I’m ready for a break from these orders. I don’t mind being busy. I’m grateful that my business seems to finally be taking off.”

  Alison sat on the sofa, leaning over to pat Lilly. “I bet you’ve felt neglected lately,” she told my dog.

  “Yeah, I think she has. I’m taking her down to the beach tonight after supper. Just so the two of us can bond.”

  I poured water into the coffeemaker. “So what’re you up to? Any word from Paul?”

  Alison smiled. “Yes, actually. One of the reasons I wanted to see you. He called this morning—and he’s retiring in January, after the first of the year.”

  “That’s great, but…” I hesitated. “Oh God, Ali, please don’t tell me you’re moving to Atlanta.”

  Alison laughed. “No, I’m not. But Paul is planning to move here to the island. Permanently.”

  I ran over to hug her. “That’s great. I’m so happy for you. Will you be keeping the B and B?”

  Alison nodded. “I’ll keep it, but he wants to look at some property in the Historic District. He’s thinking it might be nice to purchase a house and have me live there with him. It’ll be close enough for me to keep the B and B going, but for the first time in over twenty years, I won’t be living right there.”

  “That might be a nice break for you.”

  “That’s what I was thinking and before you go jumping to conclusions, I want you to stay put in the Tree House.”

  “Really? Gosh, it’s going on a year that I’ve been there, Ali. I never intended to stay that long. Maybe it’s time for me to look for a place too and move on.”

  I brought the coffee and settled in across from Alison.

  “Well, that’s entirely up to you, but it’s your home for as long as you want.”

  “Sometimes I can hardly believe it’ll be a year next month since I arrived here.”

  “A lot’s happened in this past year. When I think back to that fearful, confused, and betrayed woman who showed up at the B and B, it’s like you’re a whole different person.”

  “In many ways, I am. I’ve had a year of tremendous growth. And so much of it is due to you. You’re a wonderful friend, Ali.”

  “You’re the one that did it, Syd. I only tried to keep you on the right track.”

  “Exactly—as I said, a wonderful friend.”

  The ringing telephone interrupted our conversation.

  “Sydney Webster? This is Richard White. I’m your mother’s attorney in Gainesville.”

  “Oh, yes. I’ve heard her mention your name.”

  “First of all, I’m terribly sorry about your loss. Miss Sybile was quite a character. Please accept my condolences.”

  I smiled. “She was and thank you.”

  “The reason I’m calling, I’m going to need you to come into my office at your earliest convenience. We need to discuss your mother’s estate.”

  “Oh. Oh, I see. Well, yes, I guess I could arrange that.” Strange, this wasn’t part of Sybile’s instructions. I’d been told nothing about this.

  “Very good. Would Friday afternoon, say around two o’clock be convenient for you?”

  Dora would cover the yarn shop. “Yes, that’ll be fine but you’ll need to give me your address and directions. I’m not that familiar with Gainesville.”

  “Not a problem,” he said.

  I wrote down what he told me. “Okay, then, I’ll see you Friday afternoon.”

  I hung up the phone and felt bewildered.

  “Tell me it was good news,” Alison said. “We’ve had enough sadness around here for a while.”

  “I think it’s just neutral news. That was Sybile’s attorney. Wants to see me about her estate. I imagine it’s about cleaning out the Lighthouse so the Marine Lab can take possession and put it up for sale.”

  “Hmm, probably. How do you feel about that?”

  “Well, I never thought I’d feel one way or another. But lately I’ve grown attached to that place. It just seems to have Sybile’s stamp all over it. You know what I mean?”

  I looked up as the wind chimes tinkled again and saw Saren coming through the door, carrying a bouquet of flowers.

  “These are for you,” he said, passing the roses to me. “Picked them myself from my garden and thought you’d like ’em.”

  I reached for the flowers and stood up to give him a hug. “They’re beautiful. Thank you so much. Have a seat, I’ll get these in water and get you some coffee.”

  Since Sybile’s memorial service three days before, Saren had dropped by the yarn shop each afternoon. The first day he brought me a box of chocolates, the second day a book he’d purchased about the island that he thought I’d enjoy, and today, flowers.

  Returning with the vase and setting it down on the table, I heard Saren mention Miss Elly.

  “What’s this about Miss Elly?”

  “Strangest thing,” he said, accepting the coffee mug. “Ever since Sybile took a turn for the worse, Miss Elly has disappeared. Hasn’t joined me at all for our usual conversation and cognac.”

  “That is strange,” I agreed. “What do you think is going on?”

  “I don’t know. But I’d like to think she’s okay.”

  “Did you ever consider that perhaps she found her true love after all these years?” Alison offered. “You always thought she was at your house searching. Maybe their souls reconnected.”

  Saren scratched his head. “Well now, Miss Ali, I never did think of that. But you sure could be right. Wouldn’t that be somethin’? After all these years, if Miss Elly found her soulmate? There’s a good possibility of that, isn’t there?”

  Alison glanced over at me and winked. “There’s a huge possibility of that, Saren.”

  I smiled back at my friend with gratefulness.

  “Your appointment’s at two on Friday?” Noah asked while putting the finishing touches on the salad.

  I nodded, continuing to dip chicken breast in and out of marinade. “I’m pretty sure it’s about putting Sybile’s house up for sale.”

  “You’re probably right,” he said, uncorking a b
ottle of cabernet.

  “I’ll take these out to the grill for you.” I headed out the door with a plate of chicken.

  Standing in the garden I breathed in the crisp, autumn air. Hopefully, the agonizing heat of the summer was behind us. I turned to Noah’s voice.

  He passed me a glass of wine. “Here’s to new beginnings for us,” he said, kissing my lips.

  I smiled. “To new beginnings.”

  I had spent the past two nights at his house—complete with Lilly, who no longer deemed it necessary to pee on the carpet. The dog had taken a genuine liking to Noah and the feeling was mutual.

  “I wanted to talk to you about these new beginnings,” I said hesitantly.

  Noah shot me an inquisitive look as he placed chicken on the grill.

  “I’ve stayed here with you the past two nights and I won’t lie, it’s been wonderful.”

  “You don’t want to continue sleeping with me?”

  “That’s not exactly it.” I took a sip of wine before going on. “I guess what I don’t want is to be staying here permanently. What I’m trying to say is, I don’t want to give up my own place. I’ve been on my own now for almost a year—and I rather like having my own space.”

  “I can understand that. Getting set in your ways, huh?” he kidded me.

  “Well, you do have all those annoying habits,” I said with mock seriousness.

  “Like making love to you?” he asked with a grin.

  “Now, that does not come under the category of annoying habits.” Far from it. Making love with Noah was the most passionate and intimate experience I’d ever had. “No, it’s just…”

  Noah took my face between his hands staring into my eyes. “You don’t have to explain to me. I do understand. But I just want you to know—any night you feel inclined to stay here instead of going home, I want you to. If you’d like me to stay at your place, just ask. And if you’d rather be completely alone, that’s alright too—just as long as you’re not alone more than we’re together.”

  I smiled. “Thank you. Thank you for understanding.”

  “Okay, now I have something to ask you. But you have to promise to say no if that’s really what you’d rather say.”