Killing Kate

by Lila Veen

  “Did you look inside of these DVD cases as well?” the police officer asks us when they are back, indicating the pile of spilled DVDs that were previously stored nicely on the bookshelf. I’d unpacked them only days before. These were our assortment of movies and TV shows that were okay to display to the public eye, like Devin’s Marx Brothers movies and my Monty Python movies. We were both always suckers for ridiculous comedy. My musicals had made it on the shelves as well and I could see them all over the floor. Officer Hardy bends down and opens a case and shows it to us. Nothing inside. Then he opens several more and discovers the same thing. I feel chilly and shiver. Justin puts his arm around me. “Do either one of you have any idea why someone might take all of your DVDs?”

  I shake my head and shrug simultaneously. “To sell?”

  Officer Hardy shakes his head. “I doubt it. They’d take the cases too.” He walks to the front door and looks at it, and then inspects the broken window. “Despite the broken glass, I don’t think this was an outside job. See how the glass is broken in the middle of the window?” I look to where he’s pointing and nod. “I tested how far to reach the lock on the inside from the break in the glass. I can barely touch the lock. Someone broke the glass and used a key on your front door.” I shiver. Who else would have a key to the house, besides Devin? “And based on what was taken,” Officer Hardy was saying, “this looks targeted to me. You say you don’t know anything about the DVDs?” I shake my head. “Where did you say your brother was? Is he the only other person living here?”

  “He’s at work,” I say. “He’s a train engineer. He started a twelve hour shift around four in the afternoon, which means he’ll be home early morning unless he gets stuck in a cornfield somewhere.”

  “Okay,” Officer Hardy says. “Have him call me so I can verify that.”

  I look up at him sharply. “You don’t think my brother did this?”

  He looks directly at me. “I don’t know what to think. But I do think this was an inside job and whoever did this was looking for something specific.”

  Justin stands up. “Thank you Officer. Do you need anything else tonight? Jenna is pretty tired and I’d like to help her clean up before she gets to bed.”

  Officer Hardy shakes his head. “That’s all for tonight. I would also get the locks changed first thing tomorrow. I’ll have someone posted nearby to keep an eye out.” He looks at Justin and then at me and says, “You won’t be alone in the house tonight, will you?”

  Justin steps forward. “I’ll stay with her tonight.” I look at him. “Until her brother gets home.”

  Officer Hardy nods. “Good. Here’s my card. Call me if anything happens.”

  “Thank you,” I say, and walk him to the door. Justin and I watch him go back to his car and drive away.

  “Where do you keep the trash bags?” Justin turns to me and asks. I lead him over to the kitchen and show him under the sink where I keep all of the cleaning supplies. I grab a few bags and we go into the front room and get to work.

  “I guess I’ll just dump all of the DVD cases in an empty box since they’re useless,” I say as we’re cleaning. Together we manage to pick the bookshelf back up and lean it against the wall where Devin and I had originally put it. “On the plus side, I have a whole lot of new shelf space.”

  Justin pauses in his cleaning up the broken glass from the window and looks at me. “Jenna, you really don’t know what the person was looking for?” He sounds skeptical, and I’m taken aback. “Or who?”

  “My only thought is maybe someone Jack owed money to,” I say, but there’s doubt in my voice and in my mind. “Maybe they didn’t get the memo that he’s dead.”

  “Oh, that’s actually not a bad thought,” Justin says, looking relieved. “But why didn’t you mention that to Officer Hardy?”

  I shrug and stoop to start picking up the large pieces of a broken lamp and put them in the trash bag I’m holding. I wonder if we have a dustpan anywhere. “I actually just came up with it.”

  “Well maybe call him in the morning and tell him about that,” Justin tells me. “But for now, let’s clean up and get some sleep. You must be exhausted.”

  “You probably are too,” I say to him, pausing and reaching my hand out to touch his face. It’s slightly scratchy from his five o’clock in the morning shadow. Actually, it’s just past 3:00 am. Justin smiles at me and puts his hand over mine and leans in to kiss me. My heart flutters a little bit and when we pull away, I suddenly remember something. “I never called Devin.”

  “I called him and got his voicemail,” Justin says. “I told him to stay for his shift and come home in the morning. We have it under control, right?”

  “We do,” I agree. I survey the room and see we’ve made a ton of progress. “Did you get a good look in Devin’s room to assess the damage?”

  “Actually,” Justin says. “I checked and besides the ruined paintings, it’s not that bad.” We both give each other a glance but don’t say anything, but something is weighing heavily on our minds. My mind in particular. No one does damage like this in my life except Kate, except when could she have gotten away. And where was Devin during all of this?

  Chapter 13

  We had planned to have a housewarming party but need to postpone it another two weeks so that we can take care of cleaning up and replacing damaged items. We change the locks right away. Devin is horrified about the entire ordeal, which draws my suspicions away from him and back to someone who has been in the back of my mind for a few weeks. Drake.

  Justin and I are what normal people call “dating”. I have no idea what to do with myself. I’ve never had a man who wanted to take me out and spend time with me outside of the bedroom. In two weeks we’ve gone to see an Improv show, horseback riding, kayaking along the Chicago River, roller skating over by the place we used to go as kids and to two movies. I’m gaining weight from all of the places Justin takes me, which he says is a good thing because apparently I could use a few extra pounds, though I believe he’s plotting with Devin to make sure I can’t set foot in a strip club and be hired. We frequent “Sally’s” diner, which is a greasy Chicago fast food place that’s walking distance from the house where they serve greasy French fries coated in sugar in giant taco shell bowls. I become addicted to the “Confused Chicken”, which is a chicken Philly cheese “steak” and chicken chili cheese fries. It sounds disgusting and it tastes like heaven. Even though Justin is busy photographing summer weddings he makes sure all of his free time is spent with me. I have nothing but free time since I have put off getting a job or enrolling in school. Devin is becoming inpatient with me but I claim that I am traumatized about the break in and want to spend time watching the house. The truth is that being at home alone scares the shit out of me now. But my limited time by myself is uneventful and I mostly spend it sleeping since Justin and I don’t do much of it when we’re together. Every waking moment that we’re not in public is spent talking or making love. I can’t even begin to describe how amazing it feels to be with him, but it’s not how I thought things would be with anyone before in my life. We talk about anything and everything and then he’ll kiss me in the middle of a sentence and things always get carried away. We spend some more time in his painting studio together coming up with “projects”. One involved rubbing paint on each other with our hands and then making love on a giant canvas that he’d stretched out on the floor. It looked wild and insane when we were finished, which is pretty much how he’s making me feel all of the time.

  Since Devin is the cook, I leave most of the food planning to him for the party. I do manage to throw together the ingredients for pulled pork in a slow cooker and buy Hawaiian rolls and cole slaw as my contribution. At the store I purchase some hot dogs and ground beef for burgers and grab a few packs of buns. We aren’t expecting too many people so I try and keep it simple, but I’ve never had a party before so I go all out, not knowing what people will expect when they show up. Devin and Justin make a very large beer
run and have purchased charcoal for the grill. We are stocked with plastic silverware and paper plates and napkins. It’s that kind of crowd, and I don’t intend to wash any dishes. We only have seven plates and maybe three and a half place settings of silverware anyway, most of which I’d stolen from Appleseed when I worked there and hit up the kitchen for supplies.

  I’ve invited a few old friends from Appleseed, including Alicia and Carlos, George the bouncer, DJ Long, who is actually a very tall and skinny Korean boy named Alex. I also asked two other cage girls named Sarah and Yaara to come by. I had an ulterior motive when inviting Yaara, who is a shy Israeli girl working her way through college any way she can. Appleseed is one of three jobs she has. She also works at the bookstore at University of Chicago where she attends school and tutors other students in math. I asked Sarah to bring her along, since I don’t know Yaara all that well. Sarah and I were always pretty good friends, and I don’t make friends easily. I think Yaara and Devin might hit it off. If Sarah didn’t have an on again off again relationship going with the same guy for four years, I’d try and fix her up with Devin, but it seems like her boyfriend is back in the picture based on the last time I spoke with her. Sarah is one of those people who likes to be single, and then realizes that dating is a horrible process and reconnects with Brandon, her boyfriend. She has no trouble getting dates, since she’s practically a Barbie doll and nearly six feet tall. I’m pretty sure most of the issues come from when she mentions her job to the guys she’s dating, since she usually goes for geeky types with regular jobs. If they are from some place where corn grows, all the better. Brandon is from Nebraska, and she’s introduced me to guys from Idaho, Indiana and Wyoming. I have no idea how she finds these guys in Chicago, but we joke about how she has “Farm-dar”, which is radar for farmers. She secretly wants to be a farmer’s wife and wear red gingham and pigtails.

  Devin invited a few railroaders who have a day off. They’re a different breed altogether. Most of them work constantly and have no social skills at all. I imagine there will be a lot of train talk, some of which I follow from knowing Devin but most of which is gibberish to me. They’ll likely stay with each other, eat a lot, drink a lot and take off to get some precious sleep before they’re called in to work. I also asked Justin to tell his mom and dad to stop by, and Louisa walks in a half hour before the official start time carrying a huge tray of sausage and peppers. Joe Fiero trails behind her carrying a salad, a cake and meatballs. Louisa embraces and kisses me like family and immediately busies herself in our kitchen, arranging, tasting, seasoning and cleaning. I help her out for a bit, though I am more nervous around her since the last time I saw her for dinner at her house the night we moved in. I’ve never officially been around the mother of a man I’m sleeping with and wonder if there’s a pop quiz or anything I should have prepared for. Louisa is as warm and friendly as ever, though, and doesn’t say anything that makes me uncomfortable. She asks me about how settled I am and I gratefully tell her about how Justin and Devin have redone the downstairs bathroom and how we’ve painted the front room and kitchen. The kitchen is now a bright golden yellow and the front room is a soft sage color. I’m thinking about purple for my bedroom. Devin will probably paint his black to help him sleep during the day when he’s waiting to be called to work.

  The doorbell starts ringing and I leave the front door open with the storm door closed (another home improvement feature) so people can just let themselves in as they arrive. Alicia and Carlos come first with sangria, which is Alicia’s specialty. It comes in a big cooler like they have sitting out on football fields full of Gatorade, but I prefer the sangria. It’s light and syrupy and sweet and Alicia even brings cut up apples and grapes to float around in the cups. Sarah, Alex and Yaara arrive together, bringing hummus and pita and olives, which Yaara picked up before they met up to come over. I know Sarah can’t even make macaroni and cheese out of the box, and Alex doesn’t seem like the domestic type, so I’m grateful that Yaara took charge of the food. Devin’s railroad friends come by, including a skinny black guy named Steve who I’ve met several times and always enjoyed because he tells really silly jokes that are a lot funnier with four cups of sangria in me. Most of the railroaders are older guys who are big and burly and park themselves on the sofa after a generous helping of Louisa’s food. George the bouncer arrives an hour after most people are here, telling me that he has been stuck in traffic the whole time. Then there is another unexpected guest who arrives when the housewarming party is in full swing. Out of the corner of my eye while I’m chatting with Justin, Sarah, Yaara and George I see Devin light up and go to the front door. I whirl around to find out who he is so happy to see. “Holy shit,” I say. “It’s Holly.”

  “Wow,” Justin says, coming to my side and looking in the same direction I am. “She’s the last person I expected to see around here. It’s been a long time.”

  “I’m sorry, who?” Sarah asks us, popping her head between the two of us. Her chin digs into my shoulder. She has a way of being nosey that’s adorable and obnoxious all at once.

  I turn back toward the group I’m talking to and lower my voice. “Holly is Devin’s ex,” I explain as everyone leans in to hear. “Back when we lived in the neighborhood, they were together. I mean I’m talking high school sweethearts.”

  “They were like Syd and Nancy,” Justin explains. “They bonded by shooting each other up with heroin.” We all can’t help but simultaneously look over again. I’m sure we’re being really obvious, but Devin and Holly are too absorbed to notice. “She actually looks good.”

  “Rehab?” George asks. “That’s not the body or face of a junkie. I get too many at the club and I know what they look like.”

  Admittedly George appears to be right. Holly looks healthy. When we were younger and she was with Devin she probably weighed no more than 90 pounds, with stringy unwashed dirty blonde hair that she wore in a boy’s haircut with a Mohawk. Her eyes used to look too large to fit on her small face. Her clothes were usually ripped and dirty. She resembled a pixie junkie. Since I’d last seen her almost ten years ago she has probably gained twenty pounds in all of the right places. Her hair is nicely cut and styled in a blonde angled bob, setting off her tiny ski slope nose and dimples. She is wearing a cute black tank wrap dress and red wedge heels. Her makeup is tastefully simple and her nails are long and manicured. Considering she was the junkie, she certainly looks like she has her act together more than I do.

  “Jenna!” she exclaims after she greets Devin with a warm hug. “Wow, it’s so good to see you! You look great.” She comes up to me and takes my hands in hers and smiles warmly. Is she for real?

  “Hi Holly. You look…fantastic,” I say, really meaning it. I can see from Devin’s gaze in her direction that he thinks so too. “But how did you two…?”

  “I, ah, ran into Holly when I went to get a haircut,” Devin tells me. “She works over at Star Cuts on 95th and 52nd.”

  “No kidding,” I say. “So you still live in the area?”

  “With my mom,” she admits, looking a bit guilty. “She took me in when I was in rehab and then it ends up she likes having me around. At least now that I’m sober.” She laughs casually and I give Justin a “what the fuck” look but try and smile back at her. “She’s getting older and doesn’t like being alone.”

  I look at Devin and smile. “Wow,” I finally say. “Devin, I guess you’ve been keeping secrets from me.”

  He looks sheepish. “I thought it might be a nice surprise.”

  “It’s definitely a surprise,” Justin says, stressing “surprise”. “Hello Holly.”

  “Justin, oh my god!” Holly exclaims, reaching over to hug him. “I heard you were still around. Didn’t you photograph Michelle Hodge’s wedding? I did her hair and makeup.”

  “I did,” Justin replies. They settle into familiar chatter and I take the opportunity to walk over to Devin and pull him back a few steps out of earshot. He shrinks back a little in anticipation of
what I’m going to say.

  “Well done,” I whisper. “I guess I didn’t need to bring a potential setup for you after all.”

  “Which one?” Devin says through his teeth which are fixed in a smile. “The blonde head or the brunette?”

  “The brunette,” I said. “Cute, right?”

  “I guess.” His eyes are fixed where I know they will be the rest of the night, on Holly. I shrug and surrender myself to the situation. You can’t mess with soul mates, and despite their checkered past, I can’t think of anyone else that Devin has ever cared for like Holly, besides me, but that’s very different. Maybe Syd and Nancy could grow into Ozzie and Harriet. I see Sarah has swooped in to make herself acquainted with Devin’s railroad buddy Steve and Yaara is chatting with George. Louisa is walking around making sure everyone is fed and telling Alicia and Carlos to try some cake. I smile, enjoying the scene. I can relax in good company.

  “What’s going on?” Justin says, coming up behind me.

  I smile and reach for his hand. “I’m having a great time. This is wonderful, everyone seems to be getting along.”

  He brings his arms around me and kisses my forehead. “Why wouldn’t they?”

  I smile and shrug and reach up to kiss him back. I hear the front storm door swing open and turn around and just about lose my shit. Someone is about to rain on my parade in the worst way. “Holy fuck,” I gasp under my breath. It’s Drake.

  He looks handsome and out of place in a light grey suit and expensive Ray Ban sunglasses on. I breathe in deeply. Hold her in, hold her in, I think, feeling my head twitch slightly like I have Turrets. Drake takes his glasses off and puts them in his suit front pocket and looks around. Then he finds me and grins. My face has collapsed into a look of despair. Justin feels me stiffen and pulls away from me, misunderstanding my reaction and not realizing who I’m reacting to. I bite my lip and fight the urge to scream, or worse, let Kate out.