by Bethan Lewis
Erin stared at him through narrowed eyes, his concern did appear to be genuine. ‘No nothing you can do. I am doing fine by myself. Thanks.’
‘I see you have made some changes to the flat; you didn’t waste much time.’ He said, his gaze darting around the room that she had cleaned and sorted the previous day.
‘Yes, well, it was time for a change. Place was looking a little dreary, and needed brightening up.’
But Tim had stopped listening, his eyes were fixed on the laptop, open to the page of the dating site. His face drained of all colour, then turned an angry shade of red. Erin sucked in her breath, waiting for him to erupt; she didn’t have long to wait.
‘What the hell? How dare you go through my personal things?’ he exploded.
‘Really Tim.’ Erin said calmly. ‘You are getting angry at me? I think it should be the other way around, don’t you? After all, you are the one who was leading a double life, spouting lies and cheating on me.’
‘That may be true, but it still doesn’t give you the right to go through my private possessions.’
‘Yes, but if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have found out the truth. You would still be standing there, blatantly lying to my face.’
‘I was going to tell you everything,’ Tim said.
‘I doubt that,’ Erin snorted in derision. ‘In any case, I am not interested in what you have to say. These days it is hard to tell if you are being truthful or not. You broke the trust between us, and I have no interest in staying friends, I don’t want to see you again. I bagged up your stuff. Don’t worry, it’s all there.’ Erin pointed at the five black bags sat by the door. ‘Now if you don’t mind, I have things to do. Oh, and I want my key back as well.’
His hands shook as he tugged the key off the keyring and placed it on the table. Without another word he gathered his belongings. Erin remained seated, refusing to help as he struggled to carry his bags. After what he had done, he didn’t deserve any assistance. The door banged shut behind him, and Erin breathed a sigh of relief. It was over, that part of her life had come to an end. She thought she would be sad, but all she felt was relief.
She reached for the phone and dialled Megan’s number. It rang a few times, and as Erin was about to give up a cheery voice answered.
‘Hey Erin. How are you?’ Megan said.
‘Hi. I am fine. Tim’s been round to pick up his things.’
‘How did it go? Did you confront him about his jezebel?’
‘I left his laptop on the coffee table, open to the page, he went corpse coloured when he saw it,’ Erin laughed. ‘He didn’t deny anything though. Do you fancy meeting in the park? I could do with some fresh air.’
‘Yes, that sounds good. I have some something exciting to tell you. Meet you by the gates in twenty minutes?’
‘Great, see you soon,’ Erin said hanging up the phone. Catching sight of herself in the mirror she giggled and decided to change her outfit. ‘Don’t want the public getting the wrong idea about what I do for a living.’
Erin arrived at the entrance at the same time as Megan, who minus her trademark heels, was suitably attired in blue jeans and trainers.
‘Hi Meg,’ Erin greeted her friend.
‘Hey there. So what’s been happening since Monday?’
‘Oh not much. I cleaned my flat, packed up Tim’s belongings, booked my holiday…’
‘You booked a holiday? To where? When are you going? How long for?’ Megan interrupted her.
‘Whoa,’ Erin laughed and held up her hands. ‘One question at a time. I am going to Jersey, for two whole weeks. I leave in three days.’
‘Wow. That soon.’ A doubtful tone entered Megan’s voice. ‘You sure you’re okay going away by yourself?’
‘I will be fine. Seriously, you don’t need to worry about me. I will be lazing on a sun-lounger by the pool most of the time. It’s a small island; a half hour drive from one end to the other. What can possibly happen to me?’
Megan raised her eyebrows, but kept quiet. Erin was well renowned for being clumsy and trouble always followed her around. She was sure that, no matter how careful Erin tried to be, something was bound to happen.
‘Have you got travel insurance?’ She enquired innocently.
‘Of course,’ Erin let out an audible sigh. ‘I know what you’re thinking. Nothing out of the ordinary is going to transpire. I give you my word.’
Megan nodded, but despite Erin’s reassurances, doubts still plagued her. They ambled round the duck pond in silence, until they came to a wooden bench at the far end of the park.
‘So, tell me what happened with Tim.’ Megan said.
‘I received a text off him saying he would be round to collect his stuff this morning, whilst I was at work, he was most surprised to find me in the flat. I dressed up nice to show him that I am not bothered about our split, and I am coping well on my own.’
‘And are you?’ Megan asked, secretly worried about her friend.
‘Yes. I am doing okay. I thought I would be lonely, but the truth is, I am enjoying being on my own and having the place to myself. The relationship was getting me down, it had to end. Finding out about the other woman has made the situation easier, and yes, I was angry to start with, but it was a blessing in disguise, and has no bearing on my decision to go on holiday. I can tell you think I have taken leave of my senses.’ Erin held up her hand as Megan started to interrupt. ‘Going away on my own is scary, it’s not something I have done before but, I think that this is something I must do. I am forty, and life is passing me by. I need to do this for me.’
Catching Erin by surprise, Megan reached over and hugged her. ‘I think I understand. I will support you, and I am always here if you need me.’ Wagging a finger at Erin she said in a stern voice. ‘This doesn’t mean I won’t worry though.’
Erin laughed, ‘Of course you will. You are a born worrier.’
‘Have you told the kids yet?’
‘No, they are coming round for dinner tonight.’ Since they had moved out, Marcus and Lily always came back once a month for a family meal and catch up. ‘I bet Marcus will be happy that Tim is out of the picture.’
‘He will probably be delighted. Hey, you might meet Mr Right on your holiday.’ Megan joked.
‘I doubt it. I intend to stay clear of all men for the foreseeable future.’ Erin vowed. ‘Are you busy tomorrow?’
‘No, free all day. Why?’
‘I need some help with my holiday clothes.’ Erin let out a laugh. ‘It may involve a shopping spree.’ Her friend had a fantastic eye for style and colour, and her head was always in some fashion magazine, if anyone knew what would be suitable, it would be Megan.
Megan’s eyes lit up, she loved clothes shopping. She would have gone into fashion after leaving school, but her pushy parents, being lawyers themselves, had forced her into going to law school.
‘You know me, I am not one to turn down the chance to go shopping’ she answered.
‘So, what is your news?’ Erin asked.
‘You know me and Peter have been trying for a baby, well things weren’t happening, so we got ourselves tested. The results showed I have endometriosis, which can make it difficult to conceive.’
So that’s why Meg had been so distracted. ‘I am so sorry. You should have told me. Is there anything the doctors can do?’
‘We met the doctor yesterday, and we have been accepted for IVF treatment.’
‘Oh that’s wonderful news. I hope it goes well. Keep me updated.’
‘Of course I will. Now don’t go letting this spoil your holiday, I want you to have a good time, not sit around worrying about me.’
A short while later they said goodbye. Erin wandered home, distracted by thoughts of what she would say to her children. As much as she was looking forward to seeing them, she was dreading telling them her news. She hoped they would understand and be supportive, and not give her a hard time.
That evening Erin was preparing food, when at six o clock on
the dot the front door creaked open. With her apron still tied around her waist she rushed out of the kitchen to greet her offspring, brandishing the wooden spoon that she was using to stir the pasta sauce. Enveloping them in a bear hug, she savoured the moment. She missed them so much, they had grown up too fast.
‘Mum, you’re squeezing too hard,’ Marcus said. Erin laughed and reluctantly let go.
‘Hi mum,’ Lily said, and pointed to the spoon. ‘You are getting sauce everywhere.’
‘I don’t care. I am happy you are both here,’ Erin said, inspecting their appearance for signs of neglect. ‘You are looking well.’
‘Mum, I can smell burning.’ Marcus said as the rancid stench of burnt sauce filled the air, and they raced into the kitchen.
‘I think we had enough drama with the fire brigade the other night,’ Lily teased and Erin blushed furiously. She had hoped they wouldn’t bring up the party.
Erin turned down the sauce and drained the pasta. Cooking wasn’t her strong point, but the kids were used to her terrible meals, and out of respect ate what she provided, regardless of how bad it was.
‘Is Tim joining us?’ Marcus enquired.
‘No.’ Erin hesitated, she didn’t want to get into the Tim situation straight away, but realised she couldn’t keep their separation a secret. ‘I have some news. You better sit down.’
She caught the look that passed between them, they knew instinctively that something had happened.
‘Tim and I have split up. He moved out on Sunday, and picked up the rest of his stuff earlier today.’
Erin saw the hurt expression on her daughter’s face. ‘Why didn’t you ring and tell me?’
‘I wanted to tell you both in person.’ Erin said. ‘It was my decision to end the relationship. Things hadn’t been going well for a long time.’
‘Oh mum. I had no idea, you never said a word. Are you okay?’ Lily said.
‘I am fine, happier than I have been for a while. As it turns out, he was dating someone else on the side anyway.’ Erin clamped her hand to her mouth. The minute the words came out she wished them back. She hadn’t meant to tell them that part.
Lily sat back in her chair, speechless. Marcus on the other hand exploded like a bomb.
‘The bastard! How could he do that to you? I have a good mind to call a couple of the boys and go round to break his legs.’
‘Calm down love. There’s no need for such drastic measures. Like I said, things weren’t right between us.’
‘Don’t try to excuse his behaviour mum.’ Marcus said. ‘Seriously, why aren’t you more bothered about this?’
‘I am not excusing anything. I was angry to start with, but I have had a few days to calm down and come to terms with it. To be bothered by something you have to care about it, and if I am honest, I stopped caring about him months ago. So much is happening at the moment, I just want to forget about him and move on with my life. Please, don’t let this spoil our evening. Now let’s eat before the food gets cold.’
An awkward silence descended as Erin put out the plates and dished up the pasta. Well that was the first part out of the way, it hadn’t been as bad as anticipated. She predicted her other news wouldn’t be as well-received, but that could wait until later on.
‘Tell me, what’s going on in your lives.’ Erin said.
‘I have been selected to play for the British Orchestra.’ Lily announced puffing out her chest with pride.
‘Oh well done darling! All your hard work has paid off, I am so proud of you.’
‘Congratulations sis.’ Marcus punched her affectionately on the arm.
‘I am off to London next month. We are playing at the Royal Theatre and the concert is being shown on television!’ Lily’s voice rose in excitement. ‘I am going to be on TV. Will you both come and support me? I can get you discounted tickets.’
‘Of course we will come. I can’t wait. What about you Marcus, anything exciting happening?’
‘I passed my exams. Only another year to go until I am a qualified mechanic.’
‘Excellent, keep up the good work. Are you both finished?’ At their nods Erin piled the dishes up and put them in sink ready for washing.
They moved into the lounge, and Marcus turned on the television. They sat in silence watching a comedy until Erin couldn’t bear it anymore, she had to tell them.
‘Kids, there is something else I need to tell you.’ Erin said.
Lily and Marcus turned to her with suspicion and Erin almost lost her nerve. She was a grown up for goodness sake, why was she so nervous?
‘I was made redundant on Monday.’ Erin started, easing into it a bit at a time.
‘Oh mum, that is terrible news.’ Lily said. ‘What are you going to do?’
‘Sorry to hear that mum. You really are having a crap week so far,’ Marcus stated. ‘Are you okay for money? I don’t have much, but I can help you out if you need it.’
‘Thanks for the offer Marcus. I have plenty of money in my savings to live on for now.’ Erin said, touched that her son had offered.
‘Are you searching for a new job?’ Lily asked.
‘I went to the job centre, but couldn’t find anything suitable.’ Erin took a deep breath, here goes nothing she thought. ‘I have decided to take a break for a few weeks. Enjoy myself. So I have booked a two-week vacation to the Island of Jersey.’
Stunned silence greeted her bombshell. Lily stared at her mother as if she had grown another head. Who was this stranger? It looked like her mother, but didn’t sound like her. Had she been abducted by aliens in her sleep and replaced with a lookalike?
‘Jersey? The Channel Island?’ Lily finally found her voice. ‘Who are you going with?’
‘No one. I am going by myself.’
‘You can’t do that.’ Marcus said. His mother didn’t go anywhere by herself. She liked routine and company. This behaviour was unusual and worrying. Was she having some sort of break-down?
‘Why not?’ Erin countered.
‘Because it’s not safe. This is so irresponsible of you.’ Marcus said, sounding more mature than his nineteen years.
‘Jersey is a safe place. I researched it in great detail before I booked it. Crime levels are at an all-time low. I will be fine. I will message or phone you every day, if it puts your mind at ease. Please, try to understand, I need to do this.’ Erin got to her feet. ‘I am going to make some coffee, back in a minute.’
As she stood in the kitchen she could make out the kids voices as they muttered to each other. The word mid-life crisis reached her, and she grinned; she had never considered that. Maybe they weren’t far from the truth though, after all she was forty now.
Re-entering the room, she placed the steaming mugs on the table. Her children were regarding her with open concern.
‘Do you want one of us to come with you for company?’ Lily asked.
‘No honey, I don’t. I can see by the expression on your face how worried you are. I will be fine, I am a grown woman and despite what you both think, I can take care of myself. I am on my own now. You have both left home and have your own lives, and I need to have one too. I will leave you my flight and hotel details, so you can keep track of me and contact me if there’s an emergency. It’s only for two weeks, I will be home safe and sound before you can say the word holiday.’
‘I will come to the airport with you, help you with your bags and wave you off.’ Lily said, her chin jutting out stubbornly.
‘Okay, fine. I would love to have you with me’ Erin agreed.
If escorting her to the airport was what it took to put her daughter’s mind at rest then that’s what they would do. Marcus still didn’t appear to be happy, but he said no more.
‘I have been doing some googling.’ Erin informed them.
They rolled their eyes. Not this again. Their mother was becoming addicted to the internet and google.
‘Oh yes.’ Marcus said. ‘What is it this time?’
‘Do you know what tra
vel blogging is?’ Erin asked, but before they could answer she carried on. ‘You write about where you travel to; review the accommodation, tourist attractions and food. Take photos and upload them to a blog page and you can earn money from doing it. Some people earn enough to make a living from. Well, I thought I would try it out. I am going to be a travel blogger.’
Lily coughed as she choked on her coffee and Marcus let out a guffaw. Not wanting to appear anymore unsupportive than he already was, he chose his next words carefully.
‘Mum, blogging is not as easy as it sounds. It can take months, years even, to build a credible enough reputation to sustain a living wage.’ Seeing the stubborn expression on his mother’s face he changed tact. ‘But, if you want to do it then we will assist you in any way we can. Won’t we Lily?’ He glared at Lily sending her a silent message.
‘Of course we will help you mum. I am sure you can make a go of it.’
Erin realised her children were just saying that to appease her, but it only made her more determined to go out and succeed. She would show them.
Lily and Marcus sat completely bemused. They always looked forward to their monthly get-togethers, but this one would go down in history as the most bizarre of all. First Mum breaks up with Tim, then she loses her job, books a holiday by herself and decides to change career and become a travel blogger. Is this what they could expect when they turned forty? Was this what happened during a mid-life crisis?
‘It’s getting late,’ Lily said. ‘Is it alright if I stay here tonight? I don’t fancy travelling alone in the dark.’
‘Yes that’s fine. The bed in the spare room is already made up.’ Erin replied.
‘If it is okay, I think I will stay too.’ Marcus said. ‘I can sleep on the couch.’
‘Of course you can. I will go fetch some blankets and a pillow.’
The remainder of the night was spent curled up in front of the television gorging on chocolate. Erin looked over at her children and smiled, it was like old times, just the three of them. At present, she was the happiest she had been in a long time, and she wished the night would never end.
Chapter 6