Good Morning, Midnight

by Reginald Hill

  It rang as true as a British Euro.

  “All right. Come on,” said Jason, who knew when argument was useless.

  They got their coats and went out. It took some time to ease Helen into the car, even though it was a big Volvo estate. Jason’s beloved MR2 had gone in the fourth month of pregnancy when he’d had to admit its impracticality as a vehicle for his expanding wife and his imminently expanding family.

  Finally they were on their way.

  Kay looked back at the house as they passed through the gateway. Even at this short distance the mist made it look different, strange, unattainable.

  For whatever reason, she found herself thinking that these cosy Wednesday evenings were over for ever.

  8 • another fine mess

  What’s keeping the useless bastard? Ellie Pascoe asked herself.

  Anything less serious than a terrorist attack necessitating the sealing off of the city centre would be paid for with bitter rue.

  She glanced surreptitiously at her watch.

  It was a mistake.

  The thing about Cressida’s pounce was that, though you knew it was coming, it always took you by surprise.

  One moment she was sitting opposite, attempting to squeeze a final drop out of the now empty bottle, the next she was on the arm of Ellie’s chair, pinning her down with the expertise of a pro wrestler and trying to thrust her tongue down Ellie’s throat.

  Unable to move and unable to speak, Ellie did the only thing left to her. She bit.

  “Christ Almighty!” exclaimed Cress, jerking her head back. “So you like it rough? Suits me.”

  The door bell rang.

  And kept on ringing.

  One thing about a cop, he might come late, but when he arrived you knew he was there.

  “Who the hell is that?” said Cressida angrily.

  Her body-lock grip relaxed sufficiently for Ellie to counterattack. She rolled Cressida off the arm of the chair and rose to her feet.

  “Don’t know,” she said, “but I don’t think he’s going to go away.”

  She headed for the door and opened it. Her husband stood there, framed in thick mist, like a visitor from another world.

  “Hello, darling,” she said, her voice bright, her eyes brighter as they flashed Where the hell have you been? “You’re a bit early. We haven’t even eaten yet.”

  “Sorry, bit of an emergency. I rang home to check things, and the sitter’s not feeling too well. Unfortunately something’s come up at work and I’m going to be a bit tied up myself, so I thought I’d better get you there.”

  He sounded like a second-rate actor in a third-rate soap.

  “Oh dear. What a pity. Cress, I’m sorry. I’ve got to go. Perils of domesticity, eh?”

  Cressida was standing behind her, looking like she didn’t believe a word of it. Don’t blame her, thought Ellie. If Peter had sounded stilted, she sounded like a parody of provincial rep. All she lacked was a French window and a tennis racket.

  But no time to hang about for the reviews.

  She grabbed her coat, gave her friend a quick hug and followed Peter down the steps of the narrow Edwardian terrace house to his car.

  The police radio crackled into life as he opened the door.

  Ellie, used to the background when she travelled with her husband, didn’t pay any attention till he grabbed the mike, identified himself and asked for details.

  Shit, thought Ellie. How often did it happen that your lying excuses turned true? He’d said he was tied up with something and now God was making sure he was, which was a shame as, whether in reaction from or reaction to her friend’s probing tongue she didn’t care to know, she wouldn’t have minded getting home full of wine for an early night …

  She felt herself pushed aside as Cressida came bounding down the steps and thrust her head into the car.

  “What was that about Moscow House?” she demanded.

  Pascoe looked at her in amazement then tried to ease her backwards.

  “Nothing to bother yourself with, just a routine call …”

  “They’re talking about ambulances, aren’t they? That’s Moscow House in the Avenue, right? Jesus! Ask them what the hell’s going on. Ellie, that’s our house. Don’t you understand—that’s our house!”

  And as she looked appealingly at her friend, her name, Maciver, was spoken quite distinctly on the radio.

  Pascoe switched it off.

  “Your house …?” he said.

  “It’s the family house, where I grew up … It belongs to us now, the three of us, only … What’s going on there? Has this got anything to do with Pal going missing?”

  Pascoe looked at Ellie, who said, “Pal’s Cress’s brother. He didn’t turn up for a squash match this evening and no one knows where he is …”

  Pascoe said, “Probably some simple explanation. Ellie, I’ll have to call by there, check what’s going off. Maybe it’s best if you hang on here till I see how long I’m going to be. You can always get a taxi.”

  He sounded very relaxed about things and it all came over much more convincing than before, but Ellie got the real message. He’d heard something that suggested to him it might be a good idea if she stuck with Cressida for a while longer.

  But that wasn’t an option.

  Cressida said, “I’m coming with you.”

  “I’m afraid that’s not possible,” said Pascoe firmly. “Against regulations, you see …”

  “Sod regulations. OK, if you won’t take me, I’ll drive myself.”

  “Pete,” said Ellie urgently. “I don’t think that would be wise … we’ve drunk quite a bit of wine, and with this mist …”

  Pascoe shook his head and gave her his another-fine-mess-you’ve-got-me-into look, then said, “All right, Cress, get in. But when we get there, you stay inside the car till I check what’s happening, OK?”

  “Yeah yeah, anything,” said Cressida, tumbling into the back seat.

  Fat chance, thought Ellie.

  She went back up the steps and closed the door, wondered too late if Cress had her keys with her, thought That’s her problem! and got into the other rear seat.

  Cressida was looking at her suspiciously. She might be tipsy and she might be worried but her brain was still working.

  She said, “So what’s happening about your baby-sitter emergency?”

  Oh hell, thought Ellie. In her experience lies always got you into trouble.

  She said, “Don’t worry, I’ll think of something.”

  “I’m sure you will,” said Cressida.

  9 • the battle of Moscow

  It was almost a dead heat at Moscow House with Pascoe’s ancient Golf just pipping Sue-Lynn’s Alfa Romeo Spider, closely followed by Jason Dunn’s Volvo estate.

  PC Jennison had been stationed as custodian of the gate by Sergeant Bonnick with the uncalled-for comment that here at last was a task suited to his excessive girth.

  “No one gets past, right?”

  “Not even Mr Dalziel, say?” said Jennison uneasily. Or the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? his restless imagination added.

  “No one unofficial, idiot! Do I have to spell it out? Our lot you wave through. Anyone else, you block their passage, which shouldn’t be difficult with your gut, then you contact me in the house. And keep a log of names and times in your notebook. You got that?”

  “Yes, Sarge,” said Jennison.

  So far all that had turned up had been Inspector Ireland, an ambulance and the duty Medical Examiner, plus one of the working girls whose curiosity had been strong enough to keep her from joining the general migration to other beats once the flashing blue lights had signalled the end of trade in the Avenue for the night. When first she appeared, Jennison had experienced a pang of bowel-loosening terror. With long black hair and a face as pale as death, she looked as if she’d just stepped out of a Transylvanian tomb. But when she smiled at him without revealing fangs and spoke to him in a friendly and indeed rather flattering way, he quickly rela
xed. Any remaining suspicion that she might be one of the Undead faded when his expert gaze took in the substantial and shapely body beneath the short leather dress, a judgment he was able to confirm tactilely when he put his hands on her buttocks and pushed her out of sight behind the gate column when a car approached.

  This turned out to be Pascoe. On recognizing the DCI, Jennison stood aside and waved him through, only realizing as the car went by that there were two women in the back.

  So what? he thought. Bonkers could hardly blame him if the DCI brought his friends and family along. But even as the disclaimer formed in his mind, the Volvo and the Spider loomed out of the mist and went sweeping by before he could re-interpose his large frame.

  He took out his radio, weighed the pros and cons of contacting the sergeant, decided that a plea of misunderstanding was better than a confession of inefficiency, and put it away again.

  In his notebook he noted the time, then added, in his old-fashioned round schoolboy’s hand, Mr Pascoe and party.

  “OK, Dolores,” he said, and watched with a classical appreciation as the young tart slipped like a shy nymph from behind the sheltering column.

  ———

  Heading up the drive, Pascoe was aware of headlights blooming behind, but thought nothing of it. As some of his civilian acquaintance liked to point out, if you got burgled and wanted a cop while the clues were still hot, it could be twenty-four hours before you saw one; but if you moved beyond the reach of human help by getting yourself killed, then every police vehicle in the county would be rushing to your door.

  He saw an ambulance parked before the house alongside an Audi A6 Avant. In the passenger seat of the ambulance a paramedic was carefully puffing cigarette smoke out of his open window. By his side, the driver was talking into his radio mike.

  Pascoe read the scene clearly. It wasn’t good news. Their disposition meant there was nothing for them here except body recovery. The driver would be talking to his Control, asking for instructions. Which were most likely to be, don’t hang around waiting for the cops to tell you they’ve finished with the corpse, which could take forever. Get back here, plenty of other work to do.

  He applied the handbrake, turned to the women in the rear and said, “Stay in the car, please, until I’ve checked things out.”

  Perhaps he should have applied the rear-door child-locks, but locking Ellie in wasn’t something a man did lightly. Anyway he couldn’t see how this situation could prove more problematic than many others he’d dealt with over the years.

  He soon found out.

  Alongside them the ambulance had started up and begun to move away. Cressida flung her door open and ran after it, beating her fist against its rear doors. An Alfa Spider slewed to a halt across the drive, forcing the ambulance to stop, and another woman half fell out and began shouting at the paramedic through his open window. Behind the Spider, a Volvo estate came to rest rather more sedately. Its male driver emerged with athletic grace, a blond young man, lovely to look at, the perfect type of the Handsome Sailor. He looked ready to join the assault on the emergency vehicle but was called to order by a scream from the rear of his car and, with evident reluctance, turned to assist a pregnant woman out of the back seat.

  From the opposite door a tall slim woman slipped out and stood assessing the scene with a calm unblinking gaze. The woman from the Spider was demanding to know who was being taken to hospital and insisting if it was her husband that she should be admitted to ride with him. The paramedic was trying without much success to convince her the vehicle was empty and they’d been called away on another emergency. Cressida was wrestling with the rear door handle. The pregnant woman, magnified by a trick of the headlights and mist so that she could have modelled for Gaea, heavy with Titans, was now advancing with majestic instancy. By her side the Handsome Sailor seemed divided between wanting to guide her ponderous steps and wanting to get to the ambulance, presumably to add his vote to the demand for information. The driver out of frustration leaned on his horn. Sergeant Bonnick, attracted by the noise, appeared in the open doorway of Moscow House. The paramedic, realizing that nothing but proof ocular was going to convince the women that the ambulance was empty, climbed out of the cab and went round to the rear doors. Another set of headlights came swimming up the drive.

  “Peter,” said Ellie, who was standing alongside her husband viewing the activity, “I think it’s time to exercise your authority.”

  “Not to worry,” said Pascoe with the calmness of one in no hurry to confront a belligerent drunk, a hysterical wife (widow?), and a woman who looked as if a good sneeze could send her into epeirogenic contractions. “When they realize the cupboard’s bare, they’ll settle down.”

  “Wimp,” said Ellie.

  The paramedic pushed Cressida to one side and pulled open the doors.

  Everyone, including the trio from the Volvo, peered inside.

  For a moment it looked as if Pascoe was right.

  There was a moment of complete and blessed silence.

  Then it was broken by the slamming of a car door, presumably belonging to the newly arrived vehicle invisible behind the Volvo’s dazzling headlights.

  The noise cracked through the stillness like a starting gun and had much the same effect.

  Cressida turned her attention from the ambulance’s emptiness to the others around her, seeming to register them for the first time. Her attention focused on the tall slim woman.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” she demanded.

  “Hello, Cressida,” said the woman mildly. “I think we ought to ask someone in authority just what’s happened here, don’t you?”

  “Oh, you do, do you? Well, any interest you might have had in what happens here ended ten fucking years ago. Now all you’re doing is trespassing. Get off my property before I throw you off,” snarled Cressida, taking an aggressive step towards the tall woman.

  “Your property, Cress? What do you mean, your property? It’s as much mine as yours, and Kay’s here with me, so just shut up!”

  This was Gaea, her voice shrill, her pretty face contorted.

  “Jesus Christ, can’t you two just grow up and stop acting like a pair of sodding schoolgirls! It’s Pal, my husband, your brother, we should be worried about here, not who owns what, right?”

  This was the Spider Woman. Her reproaches, far from calming things down, merely drew the fire of both the sisters, who seemed united in dislike of their sister-in-law if nothing else.

  The Handsome Sailor meanwhile was heading towards the house. He looked in superb shape but Bonnick, who made such a big thing of physical fitness, ought to be able to take care of him, thought Pascoe. On the other hand once the trio of quarrelling women diverted their attention from the ambulance and each other to what lay inside the house, even the redoubtable Bonnick could be in bother.

  The blond reached the doorway, the sergeant spoke to him, the young man began to push past, Bonnick tried to apply a basic armlock which the other evaded with practised ease. Realizing he was dealing with someone who’d done the same unarmed-combat courses as himself, the sergeant threw restraint to the winds and the young man to the ground, only to have his legs swept from under him. Next moment, the two were grappling on the doorstep, while the angry voices of the three women rose in volume and intensity.

  Definitely time to assert his authority, thought Pascoe, taking a deep breath. At least things couldn’t get any worse.

  He was of course wrong.

  As he moved unhappily towards the ambulance, he heard a great voice as of a trumpet speak to him from the darkness behind the headlights.

  “Evening, Chief Inspector. I’m glad to see you’ve got everything here under control.”

  And out of the mist into the light stepped the bulky figure of Detective Superintendent Andrew Dalziel.

  10 • a shark in the pool

  It would be hard to describe Andy Dalziel as a soothing presence, but like a shark dumped in a swimming pool, he prov
ided a new and unignorable focus of attention.

  Reactions to his arrival were various.

  Pascoe said, “What the fuck’s he doing here?”

  Ellie said, “God alone knows, but I’m sure if we wait he’ll tell us.”

  The wrestlers carried on wrestling.

  Cressida, Spider Woman and Earth Mother regarded him with wary neutrality.

  Only the tall slim woman looked pleased to see him.

  “Andy, it’s so good to see you again,” she said, smiling as if she meant it.

  She stepped forward to meet him, holding out her hand.

  “You too, Kay,” said Dalziel, taking the hand. “Though mebbe not here.”

  “On the contrary,” said the woman, who had a soft unobtrusive American accent. “Here is perfect. We need to know what’s going on, and I’m sure if anyone can tell us, you can.”

  “I’d best find out then,” he said, releasing the hand, which he’d been holding in a kissing rather than a shaking grip. “Ladies, if you’d just be patient a bit longer …”

  Cressida looked as if she might be about to assert that in her view patience was for monuments but subsided as his gaze locked with hers for a second before passing on to the ambulance crew.

  “Detective Superintendent Dalziel,” he said. “What’s going off, lads?”

  “Nothing for us here.” The driver glanced towards the women and lowered his voice. “Just body removal, and your lot don’t know when that will be authorized.”

  “So you thought you’d shog off home?”

  “No! We got an all-units call. Big pile-up in fog on the bypass.”

  “Oh aye? Then what are you still skiving round here for?” demanded Dalziel.

  Indignation at the injustice of this rose in the ambulance men’s eyes, decided it didn’t care for the view, and dived back under.

  “Right, we’ll be off then,” said the driver.

  The ambulance pulled away. Kay Kafka put her arm as far round the Earth Mother as it would go. The other two women exchanged a glower then concentrated on the Fat Man’s retreating figure. On the doorstep the Handsome Sailor had been subdued, but only after Bonnick had been reinforced by the arrival of PC Maycock. For the moment peace was restored.