Penelope

by Anya Wylde

  “Lady Virginia,” Anne said, “was wearing a beautiful gown. No doubt it was Madame’s creation.”

  “It was a long wispy thing made of pink lace and chiffon that was gathered and pinned into place on one shoulder. The rest of the cloth was draped across the body ending in a long trail at the back that swept the floor,” Penelope added, her face bright red.

  “Yes, but why are you back home so early?”

  “Miss Fairweather was on her way to the refreshment table,” Anne said.

  “Yes and …?” the dowager said impatiently.

  “Lady Virginia was also on her way to the refreshment table,” Anne continued.

  “Anne,” the dowager warned.

  “Miss Fairweather stood on Lady Virginia’s trail. The cloth was delicately fastened by a single pearl brooch on the shoulder. It ripped, the cloth unravelled, and a passing gentleman quickly whipped out his coat and wrapped it around Lady Virginia. We could hardly stay after rendering the hostess almost naked.”

  “Quite right,” the dowager muttered faintly.

  The smelling salts and brandy were quickly called for.

  Chapter 19

  This was Penelope’s third social outing in London and they were at Lord Abbey’s home. She sighed in relief. Things up until now had gone smoothly. She had entered the drawing room, greeted the host, and then retired to the furthest corner of the room. She now stood next to a salmon pink marble pillar.

  It was a good position from where she could discreetly watch all the new arrivals. Her eyes blazed in interest when Lady Snowly made a dramatic entrance wearing a sea green silk dress and a sapphire hued silk turban. Lady Snowly pinned her eyes on the duke and made her way towards him. A slight touch on Penelope’s arm distracted her from the sight.

  “Lord Poyning is coming this way,” Anne whispered urgently.

  “As is Lord Rivers,” Penelope replied, nervously watching the pair.

  “Don’t worry, I won’t give you a chance to speak,” Anne said, patting her hair.

  A moment later Lord Poyning and Lord Rivers arrived. Anne immediately engaged Lord Poyning in conversation.

  Lord Rivers and Penelope were more than happy to let the two ramble on.

  “What a wonderful coat,” Anne gushed.

  Poyning preened.

  Penelope sipped her wine and inwardly grimaced. The coat in question was velvet puce and it was positioned directly in front of her eyes. She looked away from the revolting garment and searched the room. She found who she was looking for— the duke. His superbly cut grey coat, she noted, was excellent and not at all offensive. He was absorbed in a conversation with a grey haired man.

  She stared at him for some time until someone roughly shoved her from behind. She gasped, lurching on her feet. She quickly turned around, an automatic apology on her lips. But the woman who had pushed her was already making a speedy exit from the scene. All Penelope could see was the woman’s departing back.

  Frowning thoughtfully, Penelope turned back around to find Lady Radclyff glaring at her. Bewildered, she glanced at Lord Poyning questioningly. Lord Poyning avoided her eyes, his hands busy scrubbing at a dark patch on his coat.

  “You lurched and spilled wine on his beloved coat,” Lord Rivers remarked.

  Penelope eyed her empty glass in horror. “I am so sorry, Lord Poyning. I will buy you a new coat. I am sure Madame Bellafraunde will assist me. Truly, I didn’t mean to …”

  “Miss Fairweather, you have no need to apologise. I must find the hostess. She should have something for the stain,” Lord Poyning said, his eyes busy inspecting his coat.

  “I think I spotted Lady Abbey near the gambling room. She was conversing with Miss Berkley,” Anne said. She then turned to Penelope and sent her a loaded look.

  Penelope understood and meekly followed Anne towards the red satin curtains.

  “How could you?” Anne asked furiously.

  “But it wasn’t my fault. Not this time,” Penelope tried to explain.

  “It is never your fault, is it, Miss Fairweather? No,” she said holding her hand up, “I don’t want to hear a single thing anymore. Please fetch my brother. I would like to go home. ”

  “But …”

  “We are leaving,” Anne said coldly.

  The ride back home was conducted in silence with Anne inwardly raging and Penelope trying to come with the right words to explain. The moment they entered the Blackthorne Mansion, Penelope barred Anne’s way.

  “Lady Radclyff, I beg you, please listen to me,”

  Anne tried to dodge Penelope by walking from the right to left and then back again. After pussyfooting for few minutes and finding that Penelope was too quick for her, she finally gave up and said, “What do you have to tell me?”

  Penelope eyed the duke standing next to them.

  “So you have nothing to say in your defence? I thought as much,” Anne snapped, shaking off Penelope’s restraining arm.

  Penelope ran after her and followed her into her bedroom.

  “Lady Radclyff, I couldn’t tell you. Not in front of the duke. Lady Snowly pushed me and made me spill the wine.”

  “Did she?”

  “Yes, and she did it on purpose. My back was to the pillar and she came from behind and pushed me. It couldn’t have been an accident. It was a small gathering with plenty of room to walk without bumping into one another. I don’t understand why she did it, but she did. I am not lying ....”

  “Do you swear it?”

  “I do, I swear. Why would I do such a thing? Granted, I am clumsy, but this time it’s not my fault.”

  Anne sat on the bed and moaned.

  “Do you believe me?” Penelope asked worriedly.

  “I do. I can believe that of Lydia Snowly,” Anne said. At Penelope’s look, she further explained. “I am ashamed to admit that Lydia and I were friends once. I know her well and it is the sort of petty thing she would do. She enjoys embarrassing people she dislikes, either by word or deed. She doesn’t like you because my mother and I support you. And a beautiful young unmarried woman living under the same roof as her fiancé is bound to make her nervous. She will do her best to scare you away. So yes, I do believe you.”

  “Thank you,” Penelope said in relief.

  Anne’s head shot up and she cried, “Why couldn’t you spill the wine on Lord Rivers? He was standing right next to Lord Poyning. This is the second time I have looked a fool in front of him and all because of you.”

  “I am sorry. Don’t be angry, Lady Radclyff. Please give me a chance to make things alright.”

  “And how will you do that?” came the sarcastic response.

  “You like Lord Poyning, don’t you?” Penelope asked carefully.

  Anne blushed and said, “We have been friends for two years.”

  “Only friends? You were not so distraught when I tore Lady Virginia’s gown and that was a lot worse.”

  Anne turned a darker shade of pink. She finally said, “Fine, I do like him, but I am not sure about his feelings.”

  “Then leave it to me. I will make sure that Lord Edward Poyning falls madly in love with you.”

  Anne eyed her sceptically.

  “I have many faults, Lady Radclyff, but I am also creative. My schemes were the best in Finnshire. They always worked. I will have you married to him within three months.”

  Anne thawed and she asked hopefully, “Truly?”

  “I give you my word,” Penelope replied confidently.

  Anne frowned mulling it over. “You will first inform me of your schemes?”

  “Of course. Since you have to carry them out, you will have to know.”

  “Hmm, I suppose I can always check any of your outlandish ideas. Two years of waiting and nothing. It is time for some desperate measures and you, Miss Fairweather, are a perfect accomplice. Since your arrival Mother has shown her hand more and more, refusing to let Charles have his way. She may allow us to go to Hyde Park and entertain suitors at home. Charles is too di
stracted with you around to notice what I am up to. You really annoy him, and I mean really, really annoy him. This may just work.”

  “Now that we are agreed, I have a condition.”

  “What?”

  “You will call me Penelope.”

  “Done, and you shall call me Anne.”

  The two girls smiled at each other.

  A sheet of paper was procured and the girls got to work. Anne wrote in large beautiful handwriting:

  How to entice Lord Poyning

  After a moment of thought, Anne added a few hearts and flowers around Lord Poyning’s name.

  Penelope nodded approvingly, “That sort of thing is important.”

  “So what is the first step?” Anne asked, chewing the end of the quill.

  Penelope pulled the sheet towards herself, and after wiping off the saliva from the back of the quill, wrote:

  To entice the man, befriend the friend.

  Anne looked at Penelope and grinned.

  “Lord Rivers,” the girls chanted.

  ***

  Anne stormed into Penelope’s room.

  “Penelope, you cannot make any mistakes today. We have offended a number of hosts and I don’t think the duke’s protection will help us much longer. It is only a matter of time before you are going to be cut by society,” Anne admonished.

  “I never do anything on purpose,” Penelope said mournfully.

  “I know that,” Anne said. “It is not entirely your fault, but a little bit of it is. You tend to start daydreaming or become nervous and babble. Please, you have to start taking control of that tongue of yours … and your hands and your legs.”

  Penelope nodded.

  “Take today for instance. You knew we were already late for Miss Rosy’s dinner. Yet you had to go and tear your dress.”

  “I didn’t tear it. Mary didn’t know the brooch was pinned on and she pulled at it and the dress tore.”

  “You could have warned her. I suppose you were busy dreaming of green fields and cows.”

  Penelope was hurt.

  Anne sighed, “I am sorry, I am just worried. This is what I suggest. Miss Rosy loves animals. She has just procured a gift from an Indian prince, a beautiful cat that she wants to show off to the ton. She has thrown this party in the animal’s honour. When she speaks to you, tell her all about your goat. She will be enchanted and thereafter you would have won over one of the most important hostesses of London society.”

  “Thank you, but wouldn’t she be offended when we are late? It is a dinner party, is it not?”

  “Yes, she is a stickler for time. Charles suggested that we proceed without you. We will send the carriage back and you can join us later. She won’t be so upset if the duke reaches on time.”

  Penelope nodded, “I will be dressed and ready by then, and this time, Anne, nothing will go wrong.”

  “I hope so. We haven’t even put our plan into action yet.”

  “Tonight we will, Anne. Tonight we will.”

  Penelope changed three times while the clock ticked away the hour.

  It was two hours past the appointed time when Penelope finally arrived at Miss Rosy’s. Her hair was braided and piled on top of her head. Little wisps of curls had escaped, delightfully framing her face. Her dress, an elegant gold Grecian inspiration, floated about her. Her lashes were darkened and her eyes shimmered in the moonlight. This time she knew she looked the best she ever had, and she had an excellent plan. Miss Rosy would take one look at her and what she had brought along and forgive her for being two hours late. She walked a tad more confidently.

  “Miss Fairweather,” the intimidating butler announced.

  Penelope was not intimidated. Instead, her heart fluttered in excitement. This was it, she thought, the moment when plain old Miss Penelope Winifred Rose Spebbington Fairweather from Finnshire would be transformed into a proper London lady. She was ready to enchant, enthral and bewitch the ton. For the first time in her life she felt pretty, and that feeling was so delicious that it fizzed inside her like a bottle of champagne. She had made so many mistakes, but it was time to forget the past and begin anew. Gingerly she touched her silky skirts. She had a feeling that tonight things were going to change for the better. Her chin lifted, her back straightened, and her skirts swirled as she walked into the room.

  A moment later, Penelope, with her bubbles deflated, her shoulders slumped and back bowed was seen hurtling out of Miss Rosy’s mansion followed closely by Anne and the duke. A goat with a green bonnet hanging off one ear followed running as if its life depended on it. And it did, for chasing it was the cat that had been gifted to Miss Rosy by an Indian prince. Not a tabby or a Persian or one of those black and white spotted varieties. It was a full grown cheetah that chased them back to the safety of the carriage.

  “I am—” Penelope started.

  “Don’t. Just don’t,” Anne growled.

  Chapter 20

  The Yellow Room was a sunny room with buttercup tapestries and ethereal white curtains. For generations the Radclyff family had gathered here for situations that were deemed catastrophic. The last time that it had been used was to plan an escape when war was at its peak.

  The current situation was considered dire enough for the family to once again throw open the rosewood doors of the Yellow Room. The members of the Radclyff family (with the exception of Sir Henry), along with Penelope as the guilty party, Madame Bellafraunde as the wise council, and Lady Bathsheba as the witness, assembled here to debate the latest calamity to befall the Blackthorne Mansion. The soothing pale room was meant to have a calming effect and allow the family to think clearly and calmly.

  “We will be ruined! Ruined, disowned, cut off, snubbed by every member of the ton. I am not going to have this creature living under my roof a moment longer,” the duke shouted.

  “We are the Radclyff family. We have honour. We cannot abandon a poor soul just because she happened to bring her pet along to a dinner party,” Lady Radclyff screeched.

  “Now, now, children. Calm down,” the dowager said soothingly.

  “Calm down? We had to rush out of Lady Virginia’s ball because she ripped the hostess’s gown off. Thereafter, she upset you, Anne, by dumping a glass of wine on that fool Poyning. And then we were chased by a cheetah because this imbecile brought a goat along. Who told her to do such an idiotic thing?”

  “Let’s talk about this calmly,” the dowager tried again.

  “Charles,” Anne bellowed over her mother’s voice. “You are a duke. No one can dare cut you or any of your family members. Since when have you become such a cowardly nitwit?”

  “Nitwit? It does not affect me but you. You are the nitwit. I am concerned about your welfare. No one will marry you if you befriend such a—”

  “Hush, Charles, you cannot call poor Miss Fairweather names,” the dowager interrupted.

  “I don’t care if no one marries me, I want Penelope to stay,” Anne yelled.

  “Silence,” Madame finally roared. “Please sit down and let us discuss this like civilised beings.”

  The duke and Anne sat, albeit reluctantly.

  Penelope kept her eyes pinned on the swirly ochre flower woven into the carpet.

  “Now,” Madame said calmly, “what happened to Lady Virginia was an accident and everyone including Lady Virginia has been gracious enough to consider it as such. As for Lord Poyning, he has not complained about Miss Fairweather dousing him with wine. On the contrary, he has only had wonderful things to say about Miss Fairweather.”

  “How do you know?” the duke interrupted.

  “Madame knows everything,” the dowager cut in. “Go on, Madame. What about Miss Rosy?”

  “Miss Rosy has a number of pets as you are well aware. She keeps a number of dogs, cats, birds, horses and pigs in her home. She was going to let Puddles, that is the cheetah, become acquainted with her home and then slowly introduce him to the rest of her pets. She now realises that Puddles would most likely eat her darling pi
gs, birds, poodles and whatnot. She is much indebted to Lady Bathsheba for helping her understand that she cannot control a full grown cheetah. She is also thankful that it was Lady Bathsheba who was thus frightened rather than one of her own beloved and sensitive animals. Apparently they suffer from nerves. She is going to call on you, your grace, because she wants to personally thank the goat and offer her a bag of carrots as compensation for temporarily scaring the life out of her. As for Puddles, he is on his way back to where he came from.”

  Penelope perked up after hearing this.

  “Yes, but we may not be so fortunate the next time. I am sorry, Miss Fairweather, but I agree with Charles. Another mistake like this and I will be forced to send you back to Finnshire,” the dowager said unhappily.

  “Mother?” Anne said shocked.

  “I am sorry, Anne, but the ton is not going remain passive if things continue as they are. The ladies are going to start giving her the cut direct, and rather than allow her to face the humiliation, it will be kinder to let her go home,” the dowager explained.

  Penelope promptly burst into noisy tears. Lady Bathsheba got up and walked away.

  “Disloyal lump of mutton,” Penelope sobbed into her handkerchief.

  “This is what I suggest,” Madame said. “Give the girl to me for two days and two nights. After that allow her one last chance to prove herself. If the night goes smoothly, then let her stay. Otherwise pack her bags and send her on her way.”

  “Yes!” Anne exclaimed.

  “No!” the duke roared.

  “One last chance?” the dowager said thoughtfully. “You think that you can bring about a change in her in only two days?”

  “I can try. I think I know what to do about her habit of babbling when nervous. If that is in control, then the confidence will follow,” Madame replied.

  “Alright,” the dowager said. “It is Lord Bloodworth’s party in three days’ time. If she manages to survive it without a mishap, then she can stay.”

  “But, Mother …” the duke spluttered.

  “Charles, you don’t think Miss Fairweather is capable of handling the season. And if you are so certain that she will not survive the party, then let us have our way. She has one chance, and if she fails, then you will have your wish and she will go home,” the dowager replied in a tone that clearly signalled the end of the conversation.