OUTCAST: A Stepbrother Romance

by Wilde, Ora

  Then, Travis kicked his chest so hard that the two men who held him lost their grip. Nash’s body went flying from the edge of the bank, down to the cascading river below. I saw the strong currents carry him away... to the darkness of the horizon... away from my sight... away from me...

  Forever...

  I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t. I no longer cared for my wellbeing. The fear has been replaced by immense sorrow, one that made me hope for something unbelievable... something miraculous... to happen, to quell the pain I was feeling, one that made me wish that I was the one who was shot instead of the man I love, one that made me wish for an end to my own life...

  An end to my own life...

  I can’t wish for that...

  I was carrying another life inside me... a life that was more helpless and powerless than I was...

  I must live...

  Not just for me...

  I struggled to free myself from the grasp of the gang member who was holding me. I used my other hand for leverage, pushing my body away from him. He just tightened his clasp and I failed to escape.

  “What the fuck did you just do, Travis?” I heard the General ask with rage.

  “The fucking leva said something I didn’t like,” Travis answered, as he walked back towards the group, all the while avoiding their leader’s gaze.

  “He was mine to kill,” the General reminded him, still seething with fury.

  “He’s dead, alright?” Travis snapped back. “You wanted him dead, now he’s dead. It doesn’t matter who killed him. The motherfucker’s dead.”

  “You don’t understand,” the General responded. “He was mine to kill. His treachery was an insult against me. Me! You have deprived me of justice. Now, I will have to get even some other way.”

  “What do you mean?” Travis asked worryingly as he finally looked at the General.

  The General just smiled at him.

  “Boys,” the leader began to order, “bring me the girl.”

  25

  Anger…

  The man who held me pushed me forward, towards the General who was smirking. He grabbed my hair and pulled me down until I was kneeling in front of their leader.

  Then the General pointed a gun on my forehead.

  I closed my eyes.

  I prayed so hard for Nash to come to my rescue, only to have my heart broken yet again upon realizing that he was gone, swallowed by the river and carried downstream towards Newtown.

  He was gone.

  I was alone.

  And I was about to join him.

  My hands were still trembling. My body was shivering incessantly. I was afraid. I was very afraid. But somehow, I felt that I wasn’t afraid for myself. I was afraid for the baby inside me... defenseless and fragile and vulnerable. I wanted to protect my child. He was mine. I was his mother. And what kind of a mother would I be if I can’t even keep my baby safe?

  I heard the General’s laugh, frenzied and taunting and evil.

  “She has nothing to do with this... with us!” Travis screamed at him. There was distress in his voice, one that was painted with torment and impotence.

  “That traitor’s life was mine to take,” the General told him, angrily still. “You stole that from me. Hers is the only logical replacement.”

  “This is not how we work!” Travis yelled again.

  “I am the fucking leader of this group!” the General adamantly responded. “I’m the one who tells you how we work. And this is how we work!”

  “Don’t do this...” Travis begged, the anguish in his voice was almost tangible.

  I heard the cocking sound of the gun’s hammer.

  I felt the tip of the barrel press harder against my forehead.

  I heard the General’s laughter once more, almost delirious, almost deranged, reverberating in my ears.

  He was going to shoot. And in a second it will all be over.

  Then I heard a thud on the ground beside me. I opened my eyes to see Travis, wrestling with the General, his hands pinning his leader’s to keep the gun away from me. There were punches thrown. Travis even bit his adversary’s ear, and the General let out a primal scream of pain.

  The men surrounded them, unsure about what to do. There was a mutiny in their ranks, one that they seemed to be unaccustomed to. Perhaps, in previous times, the General took over, telling them what should be done. But at that moment, their leader was pressed against the ground by one of their own... one who didn’t leave them... one who didn’t betray them... one who actually killed a traitor they loathed so much.

  Finally, a couple of them decided to stop the brawl.

  But before they could be separated, around five or six gunshots were fired from a distance. The men were stunned into silence. Travis and the General immediately stopped their fisticuff to determine where the sounds came from.

  The next few words informed them that their reign was about to end.

  “Police! You are surrounded! Put your weapons on the ground or we will open fire!”

  A cacophony of expletives were spoken and screamed. The men knew that they were cornered. They knew that resistance would be futile, and even fatal. They didn’t have any choice.

  They threw their guns on the ground and raised their hands in surrender.

  Travis stood up and did the same.

  The General was slow to get up.

  “Fuck that motherfucking traitor bitch,” he cursed.

  “He called the blues... before going here, it seems” Travis replied with resignation. “It’s all over now.”

  Though my heart was still reeling from the tragedy that happened, I was compelled to wonder. Nash called the police? He chose to go to jail just to save me?

  More than three dozen policemen swarmed the scene, quickly surrounding the gang members. They cuffed them up and made them lie face first on the ground as the officers searched them for hidden weapons.

  Two of the policemen approached me and helped me up. They led me towards the main road, where an ambulance was waiting.

  “Are you alright, Miss?” one of them asked.

  I was still to stunned, too traumatized, by what happened that I couldn’t speak. So I just nodded.

  Then I saw a familiar figure running towards me.

  It was Finn, and he had what looked like the entire basketball team behind him.

  He gave me a tight hug as soon as he reached me.

  “Thank God you’re okay, Andrea!” he said, almost tearfully. He was sincerely relieved to see me safe. Given everything that has happened and Nash’s loss, I found his genuine care very comforting. I hugged him back, tightly as well, and tears began to flow from my eyes. Soon enough, I was weeping uncontrollably.

  “Finn... Nash... my brother...” I told him, almost incomprehensibly between my snivels.

  “What happened to him?” he concernedly asked.

  “He... he got shot,” I started to cry harder as soon as those words escaped my mouth. “He fell on the river.”

  “Shit!” Finn cursed as he quickly moved away from me. He went to the first police officer he saw and started to narrate something I couldn’t hear... probably about Nash’s condition.

  The members of the basketball team surrounded me. Some rubbed my back. A couple gave me embraces. All of them had that look of relief and solicitude on their faces.

  “Be brave, Andrea, it’s almost over,” one of them said.

  “Everything will be okay now,” another added.

  “We’re here for you,” someone reassured me.

  I found their gestures and words very touching. These were some of the people who, just a few hours ago, witnessed my humiliation in school... the revelation of my pregnancy... that I was carrying a child whose father wasn’t Finn, their teammate. Yet, there they were, risking life and limb just to be there, just to ensure and assure my safety.

  Finn went back to where I was and told me that he informed the police about what happened to Nash.

  “They’re radio
ing the divers,” he said. “They will find him, Andrea.”

  “But... the currents... they’re too strong... he may be miles away by now,” I failed to contain my fear.

  “They will find him,” Finn tried to reassure me. “We just have to have faith right now.”

  A few minutes later, when the shock from the events that transpired started to die down, I began to wonder what Finn was doing there. The last time I saw him, he was lying on the ground from the knee that the General planted on his midsection. How did he find me? How did he know where I was? So I asked him.

  “I saw you ride with that stranger,” he answered. “So I called your house. Your... brother... answered,” he struggled to say that word as he didn’t want to remind me about Nash given his uncertain predicament. “He asked me to describe the man you rode with. Then, he started to get really angry and nervous. He gave me some instructions...”

  “What instructions?” I questioned.

  “He told me to call the police and lead them to an address he gave,” Finn replied. “I asked him if he’ll go with us. He said that he’d take care of some matters first.”

  My heart sank deeper into despair. If Nash only went with Finn and the police, he wouldn’t have... he wouldn’t have...

  “Oh Andrea...” Finn noticed the sorrow that possessed me. “Finn was a good man,” he said. “Finn is a good man,” he quickly corrected himself.

  I just bowed my head, wishing against hope that he was indeed alright.

  “And he is as tough as tough can be,” Finn added, holding on to his jaw to remind me how Nash punched him at the precinct a week ago. “I know that for a fact. If anyone can survive that river, it’s your brother.”

  Ordinarily, I would’ve found comfort in his words.

  But Nash was shot. I saw him lose consciousness before Travis kicked him into the river. He was bleeding just below his left chest... so very near his heart...

  Tears began to trickle down my cheeks once more. Then, I heard the most familiar voice in my life...

  “Andrea!” my dad called out as he ran towards me. Aunt Susan was following him, though lagging a few steps behind.

  “Dad!” I yelled as I ran towards him, as well. We hugged each other tight as soon as we met. Aunt Susan caught up and joined our embrace.

  “Oh my sweet, sweet daughter...” he said, tearfully too, as kisses rained my head. “Thank the Lord above that you’re alright!”

  “Dad? How did you know...” I wasn’t even able to finish my question. Aunt Susan immediately responded.

  “The police called my cell,” she said. “We were so worried about you, Andrea.”

  Oh no.

  How would Aunt Susan be able to handle the news about Nash?

  I didn’t want to tell her... but I had to...

  “Aunt Susan,” I hesitantly began to say, groping for words as I swallowed a big lump in my throat. “Nash... he...”

  “What about Nash?” she asked. Dread started to devour her. “Was he here? Where is he?”

  “He...” I tried to continue, but stopped as I began to sob wildly once again.

  Her eyes began to swell, as if she had an idea about what I wanted to say, though she didn’t want to accept it.

  “Tell me Andrea, I need to know,” she pleaded.

  “He... he got shot...”

  My stepmother began to wail. My dad tried to console her, but she just pushed him away. She collapsed on her knees, covering her face with her hands as she cried and cried. I haven’t finished telling her what happened, but somehow, I felt she already knew that something terribly bad has happened.

  A mother’s instinct.

  I knelt beside her. I embraced her, trying to soothe her grief, but she pushed me away as well. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to process everything that transpired. She wanted some time to hope... that he was alright... that he was unharmed... or at the very least, that he was alive.

  “Andrea, what happened to Nash?” my dad asked.

  “He... he got shot, dad,” I answered in between my sobs. “He fell in the river.”

  My dad started to pace around us. He looked for an available policeman. He wanted to tell them what happened. He wanted them to act quickly before it was too late.

  “They already called the divers,” I told him. “They should be here soon.”

  That’s what the police said. It should be true. They know what they’re doing. They’re experts when it comes to matters like this. They would find Nash. They would bring him back to us. They would provide for him the medical attention he needed. In an hour or two, we would be home, together... one big happy family... the way it was meant to be... the way it should be.

  Finn joined us and we all spent the next three hours waiting. Aunt Susan was still inconsolable, regardless of how much we tried to tell her that the police were on the case and that they’d deliver Nash to us very soon.

  Most of the basketball players have left, but all of them approached us to share their prayers and show their support. Whatever we needed, they said, they’ll just be a text or a call away.

  The area where Nash was shot has been cordoned off, and investigators have flocked to the scene. They studied every inch of the field, gathering evidence that they deemed essential for the prosecution of the gang members. We loitered at the side of the building, waiting for someone to come to us, to inform us about what has happened to my brother.

  It was a little past one in the morning when a police officer finally met us.

  “Andrea Higgins?” he asked.

  “Yes,” I answered.

  “And you must be her parents?” he turned his attention to my folks.

  “That is correct, yes,” my dad confirmed.

  “Our divers have searched the river,” the police officer said and we all held our breath at the ray of hope that shone our way. “The coastguard has sent some men east and south of Placerville, as far east as Nevada and southeast as Yosemite Valley.”

  Those were really far places.

  “And?” Aunt Susan asked impatiently, the first word she spoke since I told her about Nash.

  “And...” the police officer strived to find the right words to say. He removed his cap, clutched it near his heart, and bowed his head.

  Oh God... please no...

  They’re the police! It’s their job to save lives! It’s their job to save him!

  “And what?” Aunt Susan was hysterical. She stood up and started pounding on the police officer’s chest. She was crying once again, even more uncontrollably than before.

  “I’m so sorry Mrs. Higgins,” the officer sullenly said, “we will keep searching for the next 20 hours... but it doesn’t... it doesn’t look good.”

  In the past month, my world has crumbled and burned.

  But in that instant... I realized that the worst kind of pain isn’t caused by what was around me. The worst kind of pain... the kind that I just know would linger and would never go away... the kind that not even eternity would be able to heal... is caused by the loss of something within me... something that I hold so dearly... something that I feel I couldn’t live without... something that I would never, ever want to go away.

  In that instant, I felt that a great part of me has died with the man I truly love.

  26

  Guilt…

  Two days after the funeral and I have yet to eat a single meal.

  I tried to compel myself to get back to my normal eating habits. Grief wasn’t a reason to compromise my health, more so the health of my baby as I was six weeks into my pregnancy.

  Despite my constant reminders, however, I just couldn’t force myself to eat. I just felt so bad. The emotional pain has made my body numb.

  During the wake, many people from my school paid their respects. They took that opportunity to see how I was doing. I was touched by the support and kindness they showed.

  I’m so sorry to hear about your brother, Andrea.

  If you need anything, anything at al
l, we’re just here for you.

  I can lend you the notes for the classes you missed.

  We’re just so relieved that you’re safe.

  Someone actually asked about my pregnancy. I just changed the topic. I didn’t want anyone to hear. No one outside of school knew. I haven’t told my folks yet. It wasn’t the right time, considering the tragedy that my family was dealing with.