Amber and Blood

by Margaret Weis

  She began to rock back and forth in her chair, humming a soft song.

  Nightshade felt warm and safe and peaceful. He couldn’t hold up his head any longer, and he lay it down on the table. His eyelids seemed determined to close no matter what. He realized that he didn’t know the woman’s name, but that didn’t seem important now. Not important enough to wake out of his warm comfort to ask her.

  He was dimly aware of the woman standing up from the chair and walking over to Mina. He was dimly aware of the woman gathering the slumbering child up in her arms and holding her close and kissing her.

  As sleep stole over Nightshade, he thought he heard the woman whisper lovingly, “Mina … My child … My own …”

  hys walked the highway leading north out of Solace, confident he was on the trail of his friends. Not only had the matron seen the kender and the child and the dog, he’d met others along the route who had also seen them. The three were together and well and they were traveling north.

  He was cheered to learn that although the three had been on the road several hours before he had started in pursuit, they were not far ahead of him. He had been afraid that Mina might take it into her head to walk to Godshome at a god’s pace, but apparently she and the kender and the dog were ambling along, moving slowly. He half-expected to find them sitting somewhere alongside the road, footsore and tired of arguing.

  Time passed, and he did not run into them. He began to wonder if they were still ahead of him. He had no way to know for sure. He no longer ran into many travelers. Night was coming on and he’d seen no sign of them. Thinking he might have to search for them after dark, he had borrowed a lantern from Laura, and now he lit the candle inside and flashed it about as he went along. He knew from past experience with lost sheep that searching done by night was tedious and difficult and often fruitless. He might walk right past them in the dark and never know.

  The search would have been easier if he’d had Atta with him. Without his dog, he wondered if it wouldn’t be safest to stop and wait to resume his search in the morning. Then he thought of the three of them alone and benighted in the wilderness, and he pressed on.

  He came to the place where the road split. The stacked-up rocks were clearly visible in the lantern light, and Rhys breathed easier. He could reasonably assume that they had been left by the kender to indicate the direction they were traveling, an assumption born out by the fact that Rhys saw Atta’s paw prints at one point and a smallish boot print at another.

  He took the road east and entered the forest and soon came to the house, although he did not immediately know it was a house. He was walking slowly, keeping watch on the road, looking for signs of the missing. Every so often he would pause and during one of these times he saw the tiny pinprick of light, shining in the night like a steadfast star.

  He continued on until he came to a place where trampled brush and broken sticks indicated his friends had left the road and gone into the woods. They were traveling in the direction of the light, which he judged came from a candle in a window, a beacon left to guide those who wander in the night.

  He walked the flagstone path. The flowers had closed up in slumber. The small house was wrapped in stillness. On the road, he had heard the sounds of animal movement in the forest, the calls of night birds. Here all was silence, sweet and restful. He felt no unease, no sense of threat or danger. As he came closer, he saw the curtains in the window had been drawn aside. The candle stood in a silver candle holder on the window sill. By the light of a dying fire, he could see a woman sitting in a rocking chair, holding in her arms a slumbering child.

  The woman rocked slowly back and forth. Mina’s head lay upon the woman’s breast. Mina was too big to be rocked like a baby and she would have never permitted it, had she been awake. But she was deep in sleep and would never know.

  The expression on the woman’s face was one of such unutterable sorrow that it struck Rhys to the heart. He saw Nightshade asleep with his head on the table and Atta slumbering by the fire. He was loath, suddenly, to knock, not wanting to disturb any of them. Now that he knew his friends were in safe-keeping, he would leave them here and return for them in the morning.

  He was starting to withdraw when Atta either heard his footfall or sniffed his scent, for she gave a welcoming woof. Leaping to her feet, she ran to the door and began to whine and scratch on it.

  “Come in, Brother,” the woman called. “I have been expecting you.”

  Rhys opened the door, which had no lock, and entered the house. He patted Atta, who wagged not only her tail, but her entire back end in joyous greeting. Nightshade had jumped at Atta’s bark, but the kender was so worn out that he went back to sleep without waking.

  Rhys came to stand before the woman and bowed deeply and reverently.

  “You know me, then,” she said, looking up at him with a smile.

  “I do, White Lady,” he said softly, so as not to wake Mina.

  The woman nodded. She stroked Mina’s hair and then kissed her gently on the forehead. “Thus I would comfort all the children who are lost and unhappy this night.”

  Rising to her feet, the White Lady, as some knew the goddess Mishakal, carried Mina to bed. Mishakal laid the child down and covered her with a quilt. Rhys tapped Nightshade gently on the shoulder.

  The kender opened one eye and gave a large yawn. “Oh, hullo, Rhys. I’m glad you’re alive. Try the gingerbread,” Nightshade advised, and went to back to sleep.

  Mishakal stood gazing down at Mina. Rhys was overcome with emotion, his heart too full for speech, even if he knew what words to say. He felt the sorrow of the goddess, forced to place the child born of joy in the moment of the world’s creation in eternal slumber, knowing her child would never see the light that had given her birth. And then had come the more terrible knowledge that when her child had first opened her eyes, she had not looked on light, but on cruel darkness.

  “It is not often a mortal pities a god, Brother Rhys. It is not often a god deserves a mortal’s pity.”

  “I do not pity you, Lady,” Rhys said. “I grieve for you and for her.”

  “Thank you, Brother, for your care of her. I know you are weary, and you will find rest here as long as you require. If you can stave off your weariness for a little longer, Brother, we must talk, you and I.”

  Rhys sat down at the table on which were still scattered crumbs of gingerbread.

  “I am sorry for the destruction and loss of life in Solace, White Lady,” Rhys said. “I feel responsible. I should not have Mina brought there. I knew Chemosh was seeking her. I should have foreseen he would try to take her—”

  “You are not responsible for the actions of Chemosh, Brother,” Mishakal said. “It was well you and Mina were in Solace when Krell attacked. Had you been alone, you could not have fought off him or his Bone Warriors. As it was, my priests and Majere’s and those of Kiri-Jolith and Gilean and others were there to assist you.”

  “Innocents died in that battle …” Rhys said.

  “And Chemosh will be made to account for their lives,” Mishakal said sternly. “He flouted the decree of Gilean by trying to abduct Mina. He has brought the wrath of all the gods down upon him, including the anger of his own allies, Sargonnas and Zeboim. A minotaur force is already marching on Chemosh’s castle near Flotsam with orders to raze it. The Lord of Death has fled this world and is now entrenched in the Hall of the Dead. His clerics are being hunted and destroyed.”

  “Will there be another war?” Rhys asked, appalled.

  “None can say,” Mishakal replied gravely. “That depends on Mina. Upon the choices she makes.”

  “Forgive me, White Lady,” Rhys said, “but Mina is not fit to make choices. Her mind is deeply troubled.”

  “I am not so sure of that,” Mishakal said. “Mina herself made the decision to go to Godshome. None of us suggested that to her. Her instinct draws her there.”

  “What does she hope to find?” Rhys asked. “Will she truly meet Goldmoon, a
s she expects?”

  “No,” said Mishakal, smiling. “The spirit of my blessed servant, Goldmoon, is far from here, continuing her soul’s journey. Yet Mina does go to Godshome in search of a mother. She seeks the mother who brought her into joyous being, and she seeks the dark mother, Takhisis, who brought her to life. She must choose which she will follow.”

  “And until she makes her decision, this religious strife will continue,” Rhys said unhappily.

  “That is sadly true, Brother. If Mina could be given an eternity of time to decide, eventually she would find her way.” Mishakal sighed softly. “But we don’t have eternity. As you fear, what has started as strife will devolve into all-out war.”

  “I will take Mina to Godshome,” said Rhys. “I will help her find her way.”

  “You are her guide and her guardian and her friend, Brother,” said Mishakal. “But you cannot take her to Godshome. Only one may do that. One with whom her fate is inextricably bound. If he chooses to do so. He has the power to refuse.”

  “I don’t understand, White Lady.”

  “The gods of light made this promise to man: mortals are free to choose their own destiny. All mortals.”

  Rhys heard the gentle emphasis on the word “all” and thought it strange, as if she were including one mortal who might otherwise be singled out as exceptional. Wondering what she meant, he thought back on her words and suddenly he understood her.

  “All mortals,” he repeated. “Even those who were once gods. You speak of Valthonis!”

  “As Mina goes to Godshome seeking her mother, so she also seeks her father. Valthonis, who was once Paladine, is not bound by the edict of Gilean. Valthonis is the only one who can help her find her way.”

  “And Mina has sworn to kill him—the one person who could save her.”

  “Sargonnas is clever, far more clever than Chemosh. He plans to give Mina a choice—darkness or light. Gilean cannot very well interfere with that. And Sargonnas gives Valthonis a choice, as well. A bitter dilemma for Mina, for Valthonis, for you, Brother,” said Mishakal. “On the morrow, I can send you and Mina and those who choose to go with you to meet with Valthonis if you are still resolved upon this course. I will give you the night to consider, for I may well be sending you to your death.”

  “I do not need the night to think about this, White Lady. I am resolved,” said Rhys. “I will do what I can to help both Mina and Valthonis. And do not fear for him. He does not walk alone. He has the Faithful, self-appointed guardians, who are sworn to protect him …”

  “True,” Mishakal said with a radiant smile. “He is watched over by many who love him.”

  And then she sighed and said softly, “But the choice is not theirs. The choice must be Valthonis’s choice and his alone …”

  he Wilder elf named Elspeth had been with Valthonis since the beginning. She was one of the Faithful, though one who was often overlooked.

  When Valthonis had elected to exile himself from the pantheon of gods, he had done so to maintain the balance, disrupted after the banishment of his dark counterpart, Takhisis. Choosing to be mortal, he had taken the form of an elf, joining these people in their own bitter exile from their ancestral homelands. He did not ask for followers. He meant to walk his hard road alone. Those who accompanied him did so of their own accord, and people called them the Faithful.

  All the Faithful had vivid memories of their first meeting with the Walking God—recalling even the hour of the day and whether the sun was shining or the rain was falling, for his words had touched their hearts and changed their lives forever. But they had no memory of meeting Elspeth, though they knew she must have been with him then, simply because they could not recall a time she hadn’t been.

  A woman of indeterminate age, Elspeth wore the simple, rough tunic and leather breeches favored by the Wilder elves, those elves who have never been comfortable in civilization and live in lonely and isolated regions of Ansalon. Her hair was long and white and hung down about her shoulders. Her eyes were blue crystal. Her face was lovely, but impassive, rarely showing emotion.

  Elspeth maintained her isolation even in company with the other Faithful. The Faithful understood the reason why—or thought they did—and they were gentle with her. Elspeth was mute. Her tongue had been cut out. No one knew how she had come by this terrible injury, though rumors abounded. Some said she had been assaulted, and her attacker had cut out her tongue so that she could not name him. Some said the minotaur rulers of Silvanesti had mutilated her. They were known to cut out the tongues of any who spoke out against them.

  The most terrible rumor, and one that was generally discounted, was that Elspeth had cut out her tongue herself. No one knew why she would do such a thing. What words did she so fear to speak that she would mutilate herself to prevent their utterance?

  The members of the Faithful were always kind to her and tried to include her in their activities or discussions. She was painfully shy, however, and would shrink away if anyone spoke to her.

  Valthonis treated Elspeth as he treated the other Faithful—with reserved, gentle courtesy, not aloof from them, yet set apart. A barrier existed between the Walking God and the Faithful that none could cross. He was mortal. Being an elf, he did not age as did humans, but his constant journeying took its toll. He always slept outdoors, refusing shelter in house or castle, and he walked the road every day, walked in wind and rain, sun and snow. His fair skin was weathered and tanned. He was lean and spare, his clothes—tunic and hose, boots and woolen cloak—were travel-worn.

  The Faithful regarded him with awe, always mindful of the sacrifice he had made for mankind. In their eyes, he was still almost a god. What was he in his own eyes? None knew. He spoke of Paladine and the Gods of Light often, but always as a mortal speaks of the gods—worshipful and reverent. He never spoke as having been one of them.

  The Faithful often speculated among themselves whether or not Valthonis even remembered that he had once been the most powerful god in the universe. Sometimes he would pause in a conversation and look far away, into the distance, and a frown would mar his forehead, as though he was concentrating hard, striving to recall something immensely important. These times, the Faithful believed, he had seen some glimmering of what he had once been, but when he tried to retrieve the memory it slipped away, ephemeral as morning mist. For his sake, they prayed he would never remember.

  At such times, the Faithful noted that Elspeth always drew a little nearer to him. Any who chanced to look at her would see her sitting still, unmoving, her eyes fixed upon Valthonis, as if he was all she saw, all she ever wanted to see. His frown would ease, and he would slightly shake his head and smile and continue on.

  The numbers of the Faithful changed from day to day, as some decided to join Valthonis on his endless walk and others departed. Valthonis never asked them to remain, nor did he ask them to leave. They swore no oath to him, for he would not accept it. They came from all races and all manner of life, rich and poor, wise and foolish, noble or wretched. No one questioned those who joined, for Valthonis would not permit it.

  The Faithful all remembered the day the ogre emerged from the woods and fell into step beside Valthonis. Several clapped their hands to their swords, but a glance from Valthonis halted them. He went on speaking to those around him, who found it hard to listen, for they could not take their eyes from the ogre. The gigantic brute lumbered along, scowling balefully at all of them and snarling if any ventured too close.

  Those who knew ogres said he was a chieftain, for he wore a heavy silver chain around his neck and his filthy leather vest was adorned with innumerable scalps and other gruesome trophies. He was huge, topping the tallest among them by chest, head, and shoulders, and he stank to high heaven. He remained with them a week and in all that time he spoke no word to any of them, not even to Valthonis.

  Then one evening, while they were sitting around the fire, the ogre rose to his feet and stomped over to Valthonis. The Faithful were immediately on their g
uard, but Valthonis ordered them to sheathe their weapons and resume their seats. The ogre drew the silver chain from around his neck and held it out to the Walking God.

  Valthonis placed his hand upon the chain and asked the gods to bless it and gave the chain back. The ogre grunted in satisfaction. He hung the chain about his neck and, with another grunt, he left them, lumbering back into the forest. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Later, when stories began to filter out of Blöde how an ogre wearing a silver chain was working to ease the misery of his people and trying to bring an end to violence and bloodshed, the Faithful remembered their ogre companion and marveled.

  Kender often joined them on the road, jumping about Valthonis like crickets and pestering him with questions, such as why frogs have bumps but snakes don’t and why cheese is yellow when milk is white. The Faithful rolled their eyes, but Valthonis answered all questions patiently and even seemed to enjoy having the kender about. The kender were a trial to his followers, but they strove to follow the example of the Walking God and show patience and forbearance, and they reconciled themselves to the theft of all their possessions.

  Gnomes came to discuss schematic layouts of their latest inventions with the Walking God, and he would study them and try as diplomatically as he could to point out the design flaws most likely to result in injury or death.

  Elves were always with Valthonis, many remaining with him for long periods. Humans were also among the Faithful, though they tended to stay for shorter periods of time than the elves. Paladins of Kiri-Jolith and Solamnic knights would often come to speak to Valthonis about their quests, asking for his blessing or forming part of his entourage. A hill dwarf traveled with them for a time, a priest of Reorx, who said he came in memory of Flint Fireforge.

  Valthonis walked all roads and highways, stopping only to rest and sleep. He ate his frugal meals on the road. When he came to a town, he would walk its streets, pausing to talk to those he met, never remaining in one place long. He was often asked by clerics to give sermons or lectures. Valthonis always refused. He talked as he walked.