Pretend Mom

by Hestand, Rita

  Will moved closer, eyed Dixie carefully then asked seriously, "We're going' frog giggin' tonight, wanna go?"

  Dixie eyed him back, then broke into a big grin. "Now that's the first interesting invitation I've had since I got back. How could I refuse? My two favorite men in the world. I haven't been frog giggin' with you guys in years. I only wish Ed were here for this auspicious occasion."

  A serious couple of faces stared down at her, then back at each other. "Are you gonna marry this Ed guy, sis?"

  The slight breaks in Will's voice made a squeaking sound, and he turned cherry pie red. Bashfully, he hung his head and thrust his hands back into his pockets.

  Dixie didn't acknowledge the squeak. "I don't know, really. I haven't given it much thought. He's asked me. I'm not sure how I feel about him, though. Life without him would seem funny, I'm sure of that. But, I came home to relax and think about things. Actually, I'm in no hurry to get married. I might not even get married. I mean, I'm kinda used to being on my own. I used to think when I did get married, I'd settle down here. And start a family, first thing. But that was a long time ago," she added wistfully.

  Will took the chair opposite her so he could see her face. "Would you still like to live here?"

  Dixie shrugged, "It's a tempting thought. I don't think there's any place quite as beautiful or serene. But, if I marry Ed, no. He could never be happy in a small rural community. He's a city man. Besides, my career is in New York."

  "Then I hope you don't marry this Ed character," Will said gruffly. Will had always been blunt. It was a good balance because Tom used more tact.

  "Well listen, if we're going frog giggin' tonight, I'd better get supper started right away. Mom left, said something about being down at the church again. Boy, she really is getting into this social thing. I'm glad she's not sitting home alone every night." Dixie headed for the kitchen.

  "Me, too." Tom sighed, turning on the TV. "Hey, I'm starved, and if I know Mom, she'll be gone half the night. Let's don't wait for her."

  Searching the refrigerator, Dixie smiled. "Okay." She glanced behind her in time to see Will standing just behind her, watching her. "How about some of Mom's canned black-eyed peas, with fried pork chops and some cornbread? You think that will be enough, or do you want potatoes, too?"

  Will headed for the back door, but yelled over his shoulder at her, "Yeah, fix some potatoes. We're talkin' high cholesterol, but heck, who cares? A fella needs to keep up his strength. I'll go pick us some green onions and see if there's any mush-melons ripe enough to eat. We're pretty hungry. We just finished a ball game, you know."

  Boy, it feels good being home with these two chow hounds, she thought. "Good, I was hoping you'd do that for me, Will. Say, while you're out there, you might as well bring in some of those tomatoes on the porch table and see if there are any cucumbers in the garden. I peeled the last cold one last night. You don't know how good it is to have so many fresh vegetables available to you."

  Will stuck his head through the doorway and gave her a tight-lipped grin. "Want me to bring in the whole garden, while I'm at it?"

  Dixie recognized the old bantering that had become familiar around the twins. "Cute, really cute, Kincaid." She tossed a damp dishtowel at him and giggled. He caught it without a blink and set it on top of the counter as he went out the door.

  Things haven't changed, she thought with a sigh. Will still liked helping out in the kitchen area, whereas Tom wouldn't be caught dead doing women's work. Thank God, the twins would never change, different as night and day, and yet, so alike in other ways. Twins could be an experience to live with, Dixie assured herself with another giggle. They were growing up so fast.

  Minutes later, Will helped her prepare the fresh vegetables and talked quietly to her all the while. If she didn't know better, she would have sworn he had really missed her this past few years. It seemed as though he was trying to make up in one night for three very long years. It was good, being home!

  Sometimes, like now, she wondered why she ever left, but then she knew why. She couldn't face herself for what she'd done. Had it really been that bad? Looking back on it, it almost seemed silly. But a certain man didn't think it silly!

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Dixie put the last dish away as Emily returned from the church. Loaded with parcels of decorative streamers and balloons for the Charity Bazaar, Emily was huffing and puffing. Still, Dixie thought she never looked happier or younger. In fact, Emily seemed to have a glow about her.

  "I'm sorry I'm so late. But there was a lot of work to be done and so little time to do it. My, has everyone eaten?" She glanced about at the clean kitchen.

  Dixie pulled the apron from her waist and hung it on the hook near the sink. "Afraid so, Mom. The boys have invited me to go frog gigging, and I wanted to get supper out of the way early. Besides, they came home from a ball game starved, as usual." Dixie giggled. "I left you a plate in the oven, though."

  "Land sakes, that was sweet of you, dear, but you needn't have bothered. I had dinner, thanks to Bernie. He went out and got chicken for everyone who volunteered to stay late. I'm glad, because I was starving, myself."

  Something in the way she mentioned Bernie's name caught Dixie's attention. "Bernie?"

  Emily's cheeks colored. "Surely you remember him. He was your father's barber for years."

  Not easily duped, Dixie nodded—a silent understanding dawning. "Oh, yes, of course. And I'm tickled pink to see you taking an interest in men again, Mom. You aren't the type to live alone, you know."

  Emily's brow puckered. "I was a little worried how you'd take to me seeing another man. I mean—so soon and all. I suppose if I'm truthful it's the main reason I wanted you to come home. That, and the fact that I've missed you so. I guess I want your approval. Does that sound foolish?"

  "Worried? Mind?" Turning to face her, Dixie smiled when she noticed Emily's fretful brow.

  "Yes, because I don't want you to think I didn't love your father, dear. I did. Very much. But it's been three years now, and, Bernie is the nicest man. He makes me laugh. I used to laugh a lot with your father. I hope you have the time to get to know Bernie better while you're here, dear." She pinked beautifully, bringing a rose color to her ordinarily pale cheeks.

  Dixie let the soapy water out of the sink and dried her hands on the towel, her mind already working overtime. She turned Emily around to face her, noting how her pale blond hair had more gray than blond, and how her beautiful, gray eyes sank deeper in her face now. Still, Emily was far from being an old woman.

  "Mom, I know you loved Dad. I'd never doubt that. And yes, loneliness can eat away at you, can't it? I'm just glad you have enough sense to go on and live your life."

  Emily eyed Dixie keenly. "And what would a lovely young woman like you know about loneliness?"

  "Not much, I suppose." Dixie evaded Emily by escaping from the kitchen as Tom wandered through, heading for the garage. "And you and I are going to sit and have a long talk—real soon."

  "I'll look forward to it. Now, run along, the boys can be pretty impatient when they go frog gigging." Emily said with a chuckle.

  In the privacy of her own room, Dixie rummaged through her dresser drawers for some old clothes. Frog gigging demanded informal attire, she decided with a giggle. She changed into a pair of patched jeans, and a loose fitting comfortable cotton top. Grabbing a pair of thick socks, and an old pair of faded tennis shoes, she dressed, knowing the boys were probably already waiting for her.

  Oddly enough, they hadn't seemed in too big a hurry when she bumped into them in the hall, but perhaps they were merely giving her plenty of time. Not rushing her. She liked the way they considered her feelings all the time. Thoughtful boys, they would someday make thoughtful husbands.

  She noticed their waders as she caught them strolling through the hallway later. Will had a large potato sack thrown over his shoulder as he dashed downstairs.

  "We'll have to wait a few minutes. Mike and Amanda are on their way
over," Tom announced with a smile.

  "Mike? And Amanda?" Dixie shrieked in surprise.

  "Sure, sis, you know he always goes frog giggin' with us. He loves frog legs, and he won't eat them unless he catches them himself. Ms. Ferris, his housekeeper, cooks them up for him. Actually, I think he really likes to catch them. You should see him. He's good at it, too. And Amanda loves to tag along."

  "I'd forgotten you told me he went with you," she barely mumbled, a wave of panic washing over her. Twice in one day was asking for trouble.

  Will seemed to sense her apprehension. "I guess you thought we were going by ourselves. It's just that Mom doesn't usually like us going out so late to the creek bottoms by ourselves—she worries. So Mike and Amanda started going with us. But we could call him and un-invite him, if you want us to."

  Both boys stared at her, waiting for an answer.

  "Oh, no, don't be silly," she said, gaining her composure once more. "Actually, I'm the outsider. Why don't I stay home?" She saw them looking at her strangely. How could she get out of this without giving herself away? "I mean, it really isn't a sport for girls, anyway, is it?" she said hastily.

  "You can't stay home. Don't you know?" He looked at his sister incredulously. "Mom's havin' Bernie over tonight. I sorta planned the whole thing. So we'd all be gone, you know? They don't get much alone time, and I think Bernie is having a hard time working his way up to askin' her. You've got to go with us, sis! And that's that! We think Bernie is really getting serious about Mom and we like the idea."

  "You really like this Bernie?"

  "He's not so bad. He sure can tell some stories. He seems to like us all right. Mom likes him a lot. And we like the way she lights up when he's around. You know how women get, all smiles and everything. She's a lot easier to get along with."

  Dixie scolded them with a frown. "Mom's not hard to get along with, and both of you know it. I think you're growing up too fast. I can't believe you two are involved in a matching-making caper."

  Will nodded.

  If Will and Tom already gave their approval of Bernie, why did Emily need hers?

  She was so absorbed in her thoughts; she didn't see Mike and Amanda staring up the stairway at her. How long had he been there?

  "Dixie's coming with us," her brothers chorused down the stairs.

  Even Mike seemed to find it odd, from the look on his face.

  Dixie felt challenged. She placed her hands on her hips and dared Mike to say one word. "Well, I used to go with them before you came along, you know."

  Surprisingly enough, he broke into a broad, captivating grin. "Really, that's great. Just see you take care of yourself, and keep up with us," he commanded. "This isn't a picnic, you know."

  "I'm pretty good at frog gigging, I'll have you know."

  "This I've got to see." Mike laughed.

  With one raised brow, she took him on. My goodness, the way she drooled over Mike Dalton these days, anyone would think she was interested. Determined not to swoon over the bulging muscles where he rolled his sleeves, nor the way his faded jeans hugged his hips, she snubbed him as she walked by him, winking at Amanda.

  "It's a wonder Janet Wilkinson didn't follow you out here, Mike. Everybody in town knows she's sweet on you," Tom kidded, eyeing the front door as though he expected the girl to materialize any moment.

  Mike's gaze flew to Dixie as he chuckled good-naturedly. "I'm afraid Janet wouldn't be caught dead with a frog in her hand. She's not the tomboy type."

  "Daddy, what's a tomboy?" Amanda jerked on Mike's pants leg.

  "It's a girl who—never mind."

  Dixie chuckled. She wasn't about to reveal her feelings, but the news that Mike apparently had a girlfriend shocked her. The fact that she cared shocked her even more. It made sense that a man of his age with his good looks wouldn't be available long. Janet Wilkinson was pretty high society in Wylie. Mike was doing well for himself.

  Will cast Mike a strange frown. "Janet doesn't have brothers. Dixie likes bein' with us. She probably won't be home long, and we want to spend as much time as we can with her. Besides, it ain't healthy to stay cooped up in the house all the time!"

  Poor Will, Dixie thought, defending his poor, lonely sister to the end. Boy, did she sound like a recluse. And obviously Mike thought so, too, by his expression.

  "Which gig you want, sis?" Tom asked.

  Glancing at the four gigs in his hand Dixie reached out and claimed one. "I want the shortest one. I can't balance the longer ones very well. Unless you're saving it for Amanda."

  "No, she doesn't do any gigging, yet," Mike replied, rubbing his daughter's head affectionately.

  The gear was incomplete without caps and attached headlamps. They looked like a bunch of miners with waders on.

  Not wanting to waste a minute, Dixie led them to the creek. She held Amanda's hand, enjoying the way the little girl seemed to be so receptive to her. Amanda chatted for a long time, then became quiet, all of a sudden. Dixie sensed the little girl might be afraid of the dark and took her to her father's side.

  The creek just crossed the Tucker property line. In fact, her father and old man Tucker had argued for years as to where the line actually ran, or if there even was one. Dixie heard her brothers lagging behind her, talking to Mike. The sound of their laughter made her feel content.

  After a short while Dixie yelled back at them, noticing that the lay of the land seemed to have changed. But there was no reply. Only a dark silence filled the night, except for the crickets chirping. When she looked behind her, there was no one there. Where had they gone? Why had they left her? It was so dark, only a soft blanket of stars lit her way. Yet, something had changed, something was different about the trail, and she didn't understand it. Crickets chirped and in the distance she heard the mighty bullfrogs croaking.

  She started to call out, but quickly shut her mouth when a tall black shadow loomed in front of her, coming nearer.

  "Lost already?" came the slow drawl she was becoming accustomed to.

  It was Mike. Grabbing at her chest, and exhaling the caught breath she held, she sighed aloud with relief.

  "I didn't mean to scare you." He stretched out a hand to her—a warm, big hand that completely covered hers.

  More disturbed by his tingling touch than being lost, she tried to explain why she was suddenly lost in familiar territory.

  "No, it's just I couldn't see my way in the dark. I think my light went out. I thought I knew my way out here so well," she said. "I guess it's been too long."

  "It certainly has." Mike's voice sounded husky.

  His headlamp wasn't even on, and she was thankful for the darkness.

  "Why don't you lead the way?" she asked, her voice softening.

  "Sure, just stay close and follow me." He cleared his throat and turned his lamp on. He hadn't let go of her hand. Instead, he pulled her behind him.

  If her hand perspired, she would die!

  "You weren't really lost," he said quietly. "We just take a detour now. We've quit using this end of the creek. Up until a few days ago it was too dry to do any good. But, after that rain we had the other night, I imagine it's filling up nicely. It's probably flooded south of here."

  "That explains it. Dad was always going to build a levee—he just never got around to it."

  It got very quiet again. Dixie was too busy watching her step to talk. During the middle of July, snakes were prevalent in the wooded areas, and she still had that little girl fear of them. With snakes on her mind, it wasn't surprising that she shrieked when she stepped on a sharp object under her still tender foot. Despite being so careful, she had tripped herself. Her hands flew out and against a wall of chest.. A fast heartbeat that drummed loudly against her fingertips made her increasingly aware of Mike Dalton Clumsy little fool, she admonished silently.

  Every nerve in her body sprang to life, as though the dreaded snake she feared had actually bitten her. This was no snake, though; this was Mike, and probably a lot more danger
ous. Because she had a feeling that Mike could toy with her affections if she let him.

  She should move away, but she didn't want to move just yet. "My foot," she finally murmured through the darkness, her hands grasping onto him as he bent to check it out.

  "A rock," he soon answered bringing it up between them. "You have this connection with rocks, don't you? You better be careful. If you hurt that ankle again you'll be in trouble. You want me to carry you?"

  She glanced at the rock and let out a breath. "I thought it was a snake. No, I don't want you to carry me. I'm not helpless, just clumsy." She laughed a little. "Dad used to scare the living daylights out of me when he brought me out here. He said snakes came out of those rocks and I'd better watch my step. I've been terrified of them ever since."

  He shined his light into her face. One of her hands—trembling now—still rested at his waist. Obviously he felt that tremble, as he straightened and stared down at her. A callused finger gently reached to stroke her cheek as she stared into his light, wondering what he saw, what he thought. If she gave in to the urge to snuggle into him, what might happen?

  She only saw the edge of a smile, the glimmer of his eyes. In the darkness, in his arms she felt safe, protected, warmed. It was as though the darkness allowed their closeness. Permitted it, encouraged it. If he only bent his head the slight distance, he could kiss her if he wanted to. Did he?

  Her mouth opened just a bit, her mind began to blank away, waiting for him. Her eyes began to close, but then he was gently shaking her.

  "It'd be too easy to take the advantage right now. But I won't play your game, Dixie. I won't be toyed with, seduced if you will. You can't hate me in the daylight, and love me at night. And I won't be a substitute for Kevin. One of the real reasons you're here is to find out how you feel about him. So, find out."

  Her eyes shot open and tears were close to falling. His voice sounded cold and removed from the emotions swamping her.

  What was wrong with her, it was Kevin she had come home to find out about, not Mike. Had she forgotten that?