Pretend Mom

by Hestand, Rita

  Emily looked at them, amazed. "Like you? Why, he thinks you are the nicest kids he's ever met, and would love to make a family out of us. I'm the one hesitating. After all, I don't want to push my family into something they aren't ready for. And then there are our ages to consider. Bernie and I aren't exactly spring chickens anymore."

  "Then what's to stop you? Not us! And we don't think you or Bernie are old," Tom and Will chimed in.

  Emily was speechless, her eyes widening in surprise and disbelief.

  "I know what you're thinking, they're both impossible," Dixie said. "You're right, they are. But you've got to admit their hearts are in the right place. You better marry poor Bernie before the boys do something more drastic. You know how they are. They've already gone to extreme lengths to throw the two of you together."

  Emily looked blankly at Dixie, the worry wrinkle still furrowing her brow. "I don't know why I'm so worried. Perhaps it's me. I'm a little old fashioned and maybe too old for remarriage. It might seem simple to you, but there are things to consider."

  "Like what, Mom?" Dixie asked.

  "Bernie wants us to live with him, in his house. It's way out in the country, miles from town. Him being the man and provider, that's his choice. I'd hate to move out of this house, I've loved it here. But it does hold a lot of memories, too—some bittersweet. It's only right to let Bernie decide where we'll live. I'm still old-fashioned enough to allow the man to be a man. That being the case, I've decided if I do marry him, it's only fitting for you, as the first born, to have this house, Dixie. After all, as your Uncle pointed out, it was Johnson land first, and you're a Johnson, too. Bernie has already promised me that if we do it that way, he'll make sure the boys are provided for, too."

  Emily's comments took Dixie by surprise. A house! That could really complicate her life. She loved this house, but what could she do with it when she'd be so many miles away? She hadn't planned on staying. Perhaps that's what Emily hoped for all along, for Dixie to stay here. She searched her mother's face and read the story behind it. They all wanted her home! They hadn't been able to come out and say it, but they did.

  "Let's worry about all the details later, Mom," Dixie said, forcing the issue to the back of her mind. She wasn't about to spoil this moment with added problems. She'd decide about the house later.

  Emily's eyes misted. "I'd like a very quiet wedding. Just the family and, of course, Mike and Mandy. I want Mike to give me away, or at least walk down the aisle with me, to hold me up. I need a strong arm to lean on. I want Dixie as my maid of honor. And, of course, you boys will be in the wedding too. Just stand up there with me, and keep me calm."

  Everyone gathered around her, kissing her and telling her how happy they were.

  Later that evening, Dixie helped Emily prepare supper.

  "I've invited your Uncle Paul over. I want to tell him, to his face, that this house is going to be yours. I want no fighting. At least he should be glad that a Johnson girl will have it."

  "Do you think this is wise?"

  "I don't know. But at least I won't have done anything behind his back, dear. And even if you decide not to live here, at least it will be in your name and he can't bother me and the boys about it any longer, and you'll be in New York—or will you?"

  Dixie patted Emily on the arm. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I wish I could stay, Mom. I've enjoyed being home, you don't know how much, but I've got a job there. A good job, that's taken me a long time to work up to. I like my work, love it. I have to go back, for a while at least. I wish I knew what to do about the house. Maybe I could talk to Uncle Paul about it."

  "Not to worry. I'll look after things for you until you decide. But I like knowing you have a place to come home to, if you decide to."

  "It's so sweet of you, Mom. I just don't see how I can handle it, though. What if I was to sell it to Uncle Paul? Would you be hurt?"

  "Sell it to Paul? Well, of course it is your choice, but I guess I was hoping you might someday move home, for good. I suppose I had a selfish motive for doing it. I want you home again. I've missed your company so much."

  "Oh, Mom," Dixie said as she grabbed Emily and hugged her. A tear slid down Dixie's cheek as emotion overcame her. Emily finally verbalized what they'd all been thinking—what she'd begun to think. She glanced at Emily. "So, did you accept Bernie's proposal last night?"

  "Yes, yes, I did. You and the boys seemed to know that Bernie was going to ask me last night. How?"

  "He told me, and sorta asked my permission, which I gave unconditionally. So, are you nervous?"

  "Nervous? I'm terrified, but happy. Especially that you and the boys understand. I think your father would have approved, too, don't you?"

  "I know he would. We're all very happy for you, Mom. And I seriously think this will be good for the boys, too. They need a man around, and I'm sure Mike's not going to be available for the rest of his life. He's bound to settle down soon, too."

  "I know, you're right. That boy needs a family of his own. He needs a wife and mother for Mandy."

  "Now, enough of this mush. Why don't you go freshen up for supper? I can finish up here," Dixie hastened, knowing Emily had invited Bernie for supper, too.

  "Are you sure? I mean, I hate leaving you to do everything. I seem to be constantly walking out on you in the middle of something."

  Dixie waved her out of the kitchen with one hand and laughed. "Nonsense, I enjoy this. I haven't had much time to dally in a kitchen, lately. I don't want to lose the few skills I have."

  Emily turned at the doorway. "I'll bet if Mike were coming you'd be nervous."

  Dixie reddened. It was the first time Emily ever mentioned her and Mike. "Maybe," she said and smiled.

  Will strode through the kitchen, passing his mother and dipping a finger into the chocolate cake batter that she'd prepared and left waiting for the oven.

  "Stop that, young man," Emily scolded lightly, from the hallway. "I know what you're up to."

  Will frowned and glanced at Dixie. "She's got eyes in the back of her head."

  "I know, but honestly Will, we do have company coming for dinner, so please."

  "I know … I invited him."

  Placing the salad in the refrigerator and setting a few condiments on the table, Dixie whirled around when what Will had said finally registered. "Him? Him who? You mean Bernie, or Uncle Paul?"

  "No, Dixie. I mean Mike, of course," he answered matter-of-factly. "Didn't I tell you?" he asked seeing the distraught look on Dixie's face. "He'll be over in a few minutes."

  He dipped another finger into the batter.

  Dixie swatted him on the head with a dishtowel. "Tell me you didn't do that."

  When he faced her he smiled broadly. "Sure I did."

  "How could you, Will Kincaid? Didn't you know we were already having company?"

  "Big deal. Uncle Paul!" Will shrugged. "Besides, Mike's going to help me and Tom work on that old jalopy in the garage. It might come in handy when we move. Anyway, we need a referee with Uncle Paul coming, don't we?" His explanation wasn't helping Dixie's heartbeat return to normal.

  There was a noise out back, but Dixie was too angry at the moment to care.

  "Mike says we need to learn how to drive. It would be an asset, living out in the real country."

  "I didn't think Mom would have to worry about that for another couple of years."

  "Well, you know how far outside of town Bernie lives?" Will defended himself.

  Ignoring Dixie's anger, Will dipped his finger into the batter and then ran as Dixie chased him out the back door, grazing him once with the damp cloth. Dixie followed him until she ran into a thick wall of Mike Dalton's bare chest.

  Mike threw out his hands as a barrier between her and the grease that was smeared all over him. He'd already tackled the jalopy it seemed. "Hey, what's going on here?"

  "Watch her, Mike, she's dangerous," Will called over his shoulder as he escaped out the back door.

  Dixie's fingertips came in soli
d contact with the smooth, sweaty surface of chest, sending a shock wave of awareness through her. His skin was warm, and silky to the touch, and her mind wandered for a fraction of a moment, wondering what it might be like to run her fingers over more of him. She seemed glued to the spot, the heat rising in her cheeks, as his eyes fastened on hers with a gleam.

  "Yes," Mike drawled with an appreciative smile, "I think she is dangerous."

  He strode to the sink and washed his grease-smeared hands and arms, then took the dangling dishtowel from her hands, and began wiping the grease off her. Mike seemed to enjoy her unease.

  "I can do that," she said, barely breathing.

  "I know, but it wouldn't be as much fun."

  Forcing herself back to reality, Dixie grabbed the colander of potatoes in the sink then began peeling them with trembling hands. She was so absorbed in the situation, she didn't pay attention to her task and cut her finger.

  Her muffled outcry had Mike moving towards her again. Before she realized his intention, he was putting his lips to her finger and gently sucking the blood from the cut.

  Dixie couldn't stifle the laughter, his action was so melodramatic, and she had to laugh. "Does this make us blood brothers?"

  His eyes met hers, a mischievous smile playing at his lips. "Among other things."

  She jerked her hand out of his. "It's all right now."

  "Is it?" He raised a questioning brow. "I seriously doubt it." Moving to go outside once more he suddenly stopped by the door, "For either of us . . ."

  Without another word Mike was gone. Dixie stood staring after him for a long moment. She could hear him talking with Will and Tom for a long while afterwards. Mandy was out there with them, giggling and laughing as Will and Tom took turns chasing her around the old jalopy. It all seemed so right for him to be here, for Mandy to be playing in the yard with her brothers, and happy. Forever, if they wanted.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Within the next few minutes the dinner guests began arriving; Uncle Paul, Aunt Lucy, and their two children, Grace and Joy. As spoiled as ever, the daughters roamed through the old house curiously, getting into everything. They instantly balked at the idea of saying hello to their cousins.

  Aunt Lucy was as aloof as usual, displaying little or no interest in being there. Lucy was a lovely woman of fifty-two or three, no one knew for sure, because she didn't discuss age or weight with anyone. With a cluster of red curls atop her head and an alabaster face, she resembled a china doll.

  Uncle Paul, who owned the local downtown hardware store, was quite the prominent businessman. Together, he and his wife had become part of the elite of the small community. They were a striking couple, but Dixie often wondered if they were happy together. After all, her uncle seldom smiled, and her aunt seemed in another world altogether.

  Each time Will or Tom came in the house the girls would pester them until they sneaked out the back door again.

  Mike came inside, a few minutes later, his shirt draped over his shoulder. He held his daughter's hand. Ignoring the gasp from Aunt Lucy, he excused himself and Mandy to the upstairs bathroom to clean up.

  Dixie was setting the table when Emily came into the kitchen garbed in a lovely floral print dress. Dixie quickly informed her of their newly invited guests.

  "Oh, how nice," Emily replied, then she frowned. "Oh dear! Would you run up and place some clean towels in the bathroom? I forgot to do it earlier and I can just imagine what your uncle might say."

  "Stop fretting, Mom. Of course I'll take care of it. Besides, I picked out a little dress for Mandy when we went to town the other day. I want to see how it looks on her."

  Dixie bumped into Grace on the way up the stairs. "My goodness," Grace said, "did you know there's a half-naked man in your bathroom?"

  Dixie stiffened. "I wonder who it could be?"

  Ignoring Grace's mumbling, Dixie went straight to the linen closet at the end of the hallway and took out some towels and washcloths. The bathroom door was closed so she knocked.

  "Come on in, it's not locked," Mike called.

  Dixie opened the door. Mike was shaving, while Mandy sat happily on the counter beside him.

  "Mom wanted me to stock the bathroom," Dixie said. "Do you mind?"

  "Not at all. I found a razor in the cabinet, so I helped myself. Do you mind?" he countered with a charming smile.

  "No, no, of course not. Mom left them for the boys to use eventually," she said, moving away from his disturbing presence.

  Mandy watched them quietly, and then burst out, "Can I use the razor, Daddy?"

  "No, pumpkin, you won't need it for a few years yet."

  "Mandy, why don't we go in my room?" Dixie said. "I've got something I'd like you to see. I bought a dress for you, and I'd like you to try it on, okay? That is … if your dad doesn't mind."

  Mike watched her through the mirror, his gaze searching her. "I guess that will be all right. Go ahead, try it on, pumpkin, and let me see it."

  "Okay, Daddy." Mandy brightened and jumped into Dixie's arms.

  When they reached Dixie's room, she presented Mandy with a light blue ruffled dress.

  Mandy's eyes widened. "For me?"

  "Yes, do you like it?"

  "Uh-huh. Can I wear it now?"

  "Yes, if it fits."

  Dixie helped her change clothes then took her to the big mirror on the other side of her closet so she could see herself.

  "I knew there was a little girl under there," Dixie said through a bright smile.

  "Can I wear it to church this Sunday?"

  "If your father doesn't mind."

  "Oh, boy!" She ran and kissed Dixie on the cheek.

  Minutes later, she paraded through the small bathroom for her dad.

  Dixie waited for his reaction.

  "You look beautiful," Mike said, picking his daughter up for a big hug and kissing her on the cheek. "But you shouldn't have, Dixie."

  Dixie blushed, knowing she'd been a little presumptuous in making the purchase for Mike's daughter. "When I saw it in the window, I just knew it was her," Dixie said with a big smile on her face. "Blue is definitely her color."

  "Can I go show Grandma Emily, Daddy?"

  "All right, but be careful, and don't get dirty."

  Amanda turned and gave Dixie a big hug. "Thank you. Can I call you mommy, now? My mommy died, but I love you, too."

  Mike started to say something, but Dixie smiled understandingly at Mandy as she hugged the little girl. "Tell you what, why don't you call me Aunt Dixie."

  Frowning, Mandy glanced at her father. "Can't she be my mommy?"

  "We'll talk about this later, pumpkin. Now go show Grandma Emily the dress."

  "Okay, Daddy. I love you, Aunt Dixie," she cried, and scampered down the stairs.

  Dixie was choked with emotion. No other child had stolen her heart so quickly or completely. A foot suddenly closed the bathroom door, encasing them in the small confines of the room, as Mike's glance devoured her.

  "That was a nice gesture, on your part."

  "Why'd you do that?" Dixie asked, nodding to the door.

  "It's crowded enough with you trying your best to get out of here. We don't need more distractions, do we?"

  He grinned, wiped his face, then slipped an arm into his shirt as he turned to look at her again. As she tried to make a fast retreat, his hand gently forestalled her departure. "Are you deliberately dodging me?"

  "No," she denied too quickly. "But we have guests."

  He nodded. "Yes, I know. I happen to be one of them, remember?"

  She pinked. "Will said you weren't a guest, you were family."

  He smiled and pulled her closer, too close for Dixie's comfort.

  "Will makes a lot of interesting comments, sweetheart." Mike looked deeply into her eyes, the gold motes of his eyes turning dark again.

  The air swished out of the room, and her heart seemed to stop.

  "Yes, Will does …"

  "He said he thought you were i
n love with me."

  Dixie panicked. "That … that's obviously just the silly ramblings of a child, Mike."

  "The truth through a child's eyes, huh? Well, are you?"

  "I really need to get downstairs, Mike. Mom needs—"

  "As soon as I get an answer, I'll let you go," he said, flashing a wicked smile.

  "Of course n …" She couldn't lie. Darn that Will—why did he have to go and complicate things like this? She licked her suddenly dry lips. "I s…suppose there's a certain amount of physical attraction."

  "Oh, I'd say there is a great deal of physical attraction, on both sides, sweetheart. But that's not exactly what we are talking about, is it?" Mike held firm as Dixie squirmed to get away. "No love is a little harder to explain." he continued. "It can be painful, wonderful, and frightening all in the same breath. It can be exciting, cozy, and gut wrenching. It's more than wanting a person physically. It's wanting them in every way, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. It's the attraction of not just the body, but the mind and soul, sweetheart."

  "Stop calling me that."

  "What? Sweetheart?" He pulled away far enough to look down into her flushed face. Tilting her chin, he stared at her, seriously.

  She bit her lower lip, and then chanced a quick glimpse at him. Big mistake. She quickly found herself drowning in those warm, inviting eyes of his. "It's an endearment, meant for . . ." She couldn't finish.

  "Lovers?" he whispered. He gently stroked her arm. "I wish we were," he admitted freely, his voice husky, his gaze burning into her soul. Seeing her stunned expression, he went on, "I wish we had been for three years, and maybe I wouldn't lose you to everything and everybody."

  Her heart beating a rapid tune, Dixie trembled, from the tips of her toes to the top of her head. Closing her eyes, she tried to blot him from her senses, but he wasn't going anywhere. "Lose me?" she barely whispered.

  "Mmm," he sighed heavily as one hand trailed to the roundness of her breast, circling it with his fingertips. As one thumb caressed the tip slowly, she gasped.