Pretend Mom

by Hestand, Rita

  "Traumatic?"

  "Leaving Ed? No, not at all. But leaving the studio and the security was hard on me. I'd worked there over three years and really liked it. However, Ed's feelings made things impossible for me. I had to leave—for his sake as well as mine. I've never promoted myself before. Never had to pound the pavement for work, so that part's tough. But, I'm finally doing what I really want—writing music."

  His eyes lit with amusement as they lazily took her in. "That's great. Writing music's something you can do no matter where you live."

  Their gaze met across the table. The candlelight flickered in the tawny depths of his eyes as she searched his face. Everything about him made her want to swoon. She breathed a sigh. "So, how's Janet?"

  She figured she had to ask, otherwise he might think her rude.

  "Eating pineapples, I would imagine," Mike informed her.

  "Pineapples?" Dixie looked perplexed.

  He chuckled at her confusion. "Yes, she and her Aunt decided to take a trip to Hawaii once the cold weather set in. I think Mrs. Butie wanted Janet to meet some new, younger men."

  "Doesn't Janet have a say in anything?"

  "No, not if Mrs. Butie can help it." Mike laughed—a sound that Dixie loved. "I think she's mellowing some. Janet finally put her foot down and announced she's doing things her way. One thing she always wanted was to go to Hawaii."

  "I guess that's great then."

  After finishing their meal, Dixie gathered the dirty dishes and took them to the sink. She ran water over them while Mike went into the living room. He seemed perfectly at home, as though he'd been here every night.

  "Are you going to tell me what brings you to New York? I mean besides the announcement that you're getting … married." The word stuck in her throat.

  "You don't like to waste time, do you?" He flashed a broad grin. "Okay, since I'm getting married I want to buy your house, because it's much bigger."

  Dixie's face fell and her mouth dropped open. She quickly worked to mask her true feelings until she could get them under control. His words were like a stomach-punch. Mike wanted to buy her house so he could live there with his new wife? Dixie didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

  "You mean you and Janet, of course." There, she managed to say it aloud—without laughing or crying.

  "No, not Janet."

  That took Dixie by surprise. It was turning into a day of surprises, that's for sure. "Not Janet? Then who?" she had to ask, had to know.

  Mike sat back leisurely, fluffing a small pillow on her couch. "I guess you'll just have to come home sometime and meet her, won't you?"

  How could he have met someone so quickly and decided to marry her? And live with her in Dixie's house! Love at first sight? Mike didn't seem that shallow. He'd never been so frivolous before. Or … had loneliness taken a toll on him, too?

  "I guess I will," she said dully. "Mom invited me for the Octoberfest, but I couldn't make it."

  "Yes, I know, I was there."

  "Then Mom's met her?"

  "Oh, yes, she has, and she loves her dearly."

  Mike's face mirrored his obvious happiness. For the first time he looked really relaxed. Dixie tried to take it all in. And Mom loved her too? The whole thing was making her head spin.

  "I couldn't make it Thanksgiving, either," she finally said.

  "I know, I was there then, too."

  Dixie came into the living room slowly and sat at the very edge of the couch, a safe distance from Mike. "I'm very happy for you Mike. I can hardly wait to meet her. She's obviously someone very special, able to cope with the hardships of being a rancher's wife."

  "Hardships? I didn't know there were any since they invented the dishwasher, freezer, and microwave." He laughed heartily.

  "Well, you…you know what I mean," she stammered. Open mouth, and insert foot, Dixie, she chided herself.

  "Yeah, well, we don't birth calves every day, Dixie, if that's what you mean."

  "Oh, of course, I know that. And I'll never forget it. It was beautiful. It was such a memorable experience for me." She looked away from his probing gaze. "So, does she work?"

  Dixie got up and went into the kitchen once more, aware that the closeness was closing in on her. She ran water in the sink, and began washing the two dishes that were there. She scrubbed them hard, as if she could scrub away the horrible fact that she was losing the man she loved

  She could never go home now. How could she cope watching someone else loving Mike and Mandy? Watching someone else teaching Mandy how to dress, and combing her beautiful long hair—and baking cookies with her. No, she couldn't be there to watch someone else touching that handsome face of Mike's, and accepting his kisses. Dixie heaved a sigh and scrubbed even harder.

  "Yes, she works. Has a career as a matter of fact. Very dedicated, I'm afraid." He stood up and came around the corner to the kitchen. His eyes searched hers momentarily. "I don't know how we're going to work all those kids in there, but I'm sure we'll figure something out, soon."

  Her face went pale. Kids! Mike's kids. Oh she couldn't take much more of this.

  "Are you feeling okay?"

  Oh sure. My heart's just been torn out and trampled, but other than that, I'm just fine, she thought. "Oh, sure, I'm fine," she said. "Does Mandy like her?"

  "Adores her. Can't wait until she can officially call her Mommy. Gee, Dixie, you don't look too well. Are you feeling ill?" His gaze swept over her with lazy appreciation.

  She threw her wet hands into the air in an exasperated gesture. "That's unkind, Mike. So far you've told me I'm skin and bones, and now I look bad, too."

  "Sorry. It's just you looked so surprised … shocked even." He studied her reaction as she squirmed.

  "Is Reverend Lewis performing the wedding?"

  "I'd like him to. But we haven't discussed the particulars. In fact, I haven't even popped the question yet. You know, on second thought, I don't think we'll wait a minute longer than necessary to get married. I can't stand being away from her."

  Dixie bristled. "You're very sure of yourself," she scolded in a teasing manner, wishing she could run somewhere and cry, maybe even scream.

  "Yes, I guess I am, sweetheart." Mike picked up a dishtowel. "Uh … are you going to wash that same dish all night?"

  "Oh." She looked down at the squeaky clean dish and laughed a little. "I … um …I guess I'm a bit preoccupied."

  "Yes, I can see that. Well, getting back to the woman I love .." He rubbed his hands briskly. Dixie couldn't help rolling her eyes when she saw how eager Mike was to discuss ... that woman ... again. "Actually," he said, "I love the woman I'm going to marry so much that I'd give up everything for her—even the ranch—if she asked me to. Not that she'd ever ask me to, but I want to let her know I would. We might not live in good ole Wide Awake Wylie anymore. I don't care where we live, as long as it's together," Mike happily declared, brushing gently against her as he reached for the plate she wouldn't release.

  "I hope it doesn't come to that, Mike. I'd hate to see you sell your ranch and move. What would you do? Our families have been so close for so long. And your place is a showplace. It would be sad to see it go. It just wouldn't be the same."

  "Wouldn't it?"

  "No." She barely managed to squeeze out the words. He was standing too close, affecting her heartbeat, her thoughts, and her actions.

  He smiled brightly at her when she took the liberty of looking straight at him. He was almost flirting. What in heaven's name was wrong with him? This was agony—sheer torture!

  Suddenly his eyes went dark, and he leaned into her. "You're even more beautiful than the last time I saw you, if that's possible."

  He definitely shouldn't be saying these things to her, Dixie thought. She became flustered and squirmed.

  "Mike, I'll sell the house to you if Uncle Paul doesn't want it at the selling price. Of course, you'll need to approach him on that. If he's willing, then there's no problem. Just have a real estate agent give you a
quote. I'll sign the papers as soon as you send them to me." She wanted him out of there before she did something really stupid. Like fly into his arms, kiss him silly, and beg him not to marry someone else.

  "Great. I've taken the liberty of talking to Paul about it, and we came to an agreement. And I'm not trying to flatter you, Dixie. You are beautiful, in every way possible."

  What was he saying? She had to get away from him. She tried escaping into the living room, but he caught her hand and pulled her easily into his arms. She immediately melted against him. She was hungry for him. She should pull away—but maybe just a minute in the arms of the man she loved wouldn't hurt.

  Mike's head bent just enough to brush his lips across hers. "Do you realize you've cooked, and I helped with the dishes, and I still haven't heard you say hello, or thank you?"

  "I…I'm sorry, Mike …" she barely managed to say before a tear ran recklessly down one cheek. God, the last thing she wanted to do was to cry in front of him. What would he think?

  "Don't be sorry, and don't cry, sweetheart," he whispered. "Just say hello, like this …" He smiled as his lips fastened onto hers in a hungry kiss that sent all rational thinking out the window. She gave a muffled little cry as her arms flew to his neck, and her fingers danced through the thick mass of his hair. She needed to touch him, to feel his heartbeat against hers. It had been too long, and she was powerless from the moment their lips met. Gently he urged her lips apart, plundering the sweet hollow of warmth within. Her tongue did a slow dance with his. Passion flared to life as his hands moved over her, appreciating her. Unconsciously she arched herself against him, arousing a moan from his lips.

  Then sanity prevailed and, horrified, she pushed him away. She was breathless and hurting, wanting it to go on, but knowing it couldn't. "What in God's name do you think you're doing, Mike? You come in here, announcing you're going to be married, and then—"

  He looked frustrated, but happily frustrated. "Uh-huh. And then I seduce you." He grinned. "God, Dixie, haven't you guessed yet? Don't you know how much I want you? I want to seduce you, marry you—I don't care which one comes first, the seduction or the marriage. As long as I have both as soon as possible."

  Dixie gasped.

  "Do you honestly think I could make love to you and marry anyone else?" he continued. "I just couldn't stand not touching you any longer. You're the one I want, the only one I've ever wanted. You, Dixie Rose Kincaid, just you."

  "Me! You... you want to marry me?" She gasped again, her heart rate soaring, her palms sweating, her mind praying she heard right.

  "Sweetheart, I'm crazy in love with you and have been for a long time, now. Too long, in fact. I'm sorry I didn't trust you, but it was only temporary. I know a relationship can't work without trust. I was blinded by jealousy, an emotion I never even realized I possessed. I was afraid to trust you, afraid of your rejection. I was so crazy with jealousy I almost didn't listen to anyone."

  "Listen? To whom?" she asked in wide-eyed wonder and snuggled even closer.

  "For starters, my own daughter. She insisted that she didn't want a mother unless it was you. She's crazy about you, Dixie. Especially after the two of you made cookies and got cookie dough all over everything. That cinched it. She told me she was tired of pretending. She said you didn't once fuss at her, or make her clean that mess up. And if that weren't enough, Will and Tom went to work on me, and then your mother let out a few little remarks, here and there, about how I ought to come here and get you, after I tried to worm your address out of her. I think she tricked me. I think she knew I'd come, all along. Forgive me, Dixie, I'm only human."

  Dixie felt her world coming to life again. She was so happy she thought she'd explode.

  Gathering her against him, Mike led her to the couch, where he planted her on his lap, cradling her in his arms and thoroughly kissed her again.

  Neither seemed able to get enough of each other.

  "Oh Mike, I was so scared for you …"

  He tipped her chin back to look into her eyes. "I'm sorry. I never realized you blamed yourself for Audrey's death. But honey, you couldn't control that. No one could. It was simply her time. God's decision, not ours."

  "I'm not afraid anymore," she assured him. She kissed him hard and long, until they were both breathless.

  He groaned as he pulled away to explain. "I tried hard to forget you when you left home the first time, vowing to show me just how independent you could be. I knew my efforts to forget hadn't worked when I heard you were coming home. I had to be at that airport to see you. I begged your mother to let me come get you. I'm afraid Emily knew from the start. And when I saw you, I knew there'd never be anyone else for me but you. I knew why no other girl was quite good enough all these years, not even Connie. No other woman worked for me. Funny," he said, and then kissed her lips gently, "I've felt somehow married to you all those years. It was like you were finally coming home to me. And when Mandy fell in love with you, too, that cinched it. I knew I wasn't going to rest until we were a family."

  She listened contentedly. His words were like music to her ears. His heartbeat matched her own, and a slow invading warmth permeated her entire being.

  "When you left, I felt as though someone had stabbed me in the heart," Mike continued. "I really thought you loved Kevin, and that you hated me for embarrassing you that night. To tell you the truth, Dixie, it wasn't until I saw you today at the airport that I knew for sure that you loved me, too"

  "I do love you, Mike. With all my heart," she said quietly, snuggling into his arms. "And I love Mandy, too. Just the thought of another woman raising that precious child bothered me to no end. And when I saw Kevin at the church that day, I knew immediately that what I felt for him years ago was just a young girl's crush. It never went any deeper than that. Nothing ever happened between me and Kevin."

  "What did you say?" He shook her slightly and pulled away so he could peer down into her face.

  "I said nothing ever happened between me and Kevin."

  "No, before that."

  Dixie shrugged. "I said I love you." She smiled up into his face, and then pulled him close. "I wanted to tell you before I left, but you honestly believed I still loved Kevin. I felt certain that you wouldn't believe me. I'd treated you so badly."

  "I deserved it. And you're right, I probably wouldn't have believed you. Pride can be a foolish thing, Dixie." He squeezed her tightly, kissing her on the forehead.

  "And now?" she asked meeting his gaze head on.

  "Hmmm, I think I need more convincing. Try showering me with a few hundred kisses and maybe I'll believe it." He sighed happily.

  "Oh, Mike, when you came in here announcing you were getting married, I nearly died. I thought I'd waited too long to tell you the truth."

  "Marry me, Dixie, and put us both out of this misery."

  "Did you mean it when you said you'd give up the ranch for me?" She smiled.

  "You bet I would." He kissed her nose, her forehead, her cheeks, and then the softness of her pink lips. "And it wouldn't be a sacrifice, as long as you were with me. I could conquer the world if you were by my side. I don't promise never to be jealous in the future, but I do promise never to let that emotion get the upper hand again."

  "There's no reason for you to worry about that any longer, Mike. I want to come home—with you. I've missed being home. And since I'm writing now, it doesn't matter where I live. I can mail my work in. I've got all the connections I'll ever need. I can work from home and you can keep Ms. Ferris on to help us. Oh, Mike, we'll be a real family—you and me, and Mandy. We'll have a ball teaching her how to do frog giggin' together, won't we? And if you want to, you can go back to school, too." Dixie bubbled with excitement and enthusiasm.

  "You mean that?"

  "Yes, of course I do. I know what it means to be able to do what you really want with your life." Dixie held Mike as close as she could. "Oh, take me home, Mike. Take me home."

  He smiled down into her laughing eyes. "How
many kids do you want?"

  "A houseful?" She laughed. "And I don't want to be Mandy's pretend mom any more. I want to be her mom for real. I just love that little girl."

  Mike grinned. "I can't think of anything that will make her happier. She really loves you, too, Dixie. So, do you want to get married here in New York, or go home for the ceremony?"

  "I don't want to wait."

  "Neither do I."

  "I love you so much, Mike. I think I always have."

  Dixie took his face between her hands, stared deep into Mike's eyes, smiled and kissed him with everything she had in her. It was a kiss that promised a little touch of heaven—soft, sweet, and tender. A kiss that spoke of coming home again, and of loving—and being loved. Like the wings of a feather it touched their souls, promising love everlasting.

  At long last—Dixie Rose Kincaid had finally come home to stay.

  The End

  About the Author

  Rita has a shelf of books for your reading pleasures. Visit Smashwords today, or Amazon.

  https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/Redameter