Hanging On 2: Surreal Neal [Awakenings 6] (Siren Publishing Ménage and More)

by Michele Zurlo

  I chuckled at her enthusiasm. The look Daniel gave me matched the one that had just vanished from his father’s face.

  David got to his feet and hauled his wife with him. “It’s late. Anna and I should go. I have to get up for work in the morning.”

  I didn’t try to stop them. Denying who Neal was to us would be a lie, and forcing them to socialize with Neal before either of them was ready would be disastrous. Sophia would be disappointed, but she would eventually see the wisdom in it.

  On the way to the front door, we passed Sophia and Neal at the bottom of the steps to the second floor. They were kissing on the lips. It wasn’t anything too bad—just a firm press of closed mouths—but I had to hold her father back. The sight triggered my libido, which seemed to always be boiling just below the surface, especially when either of them were around, and that made it harder to stop David from trying to kill Neal.

  This wasn’t the first time he’d caught one of his offspring in a liplock with someone unexpected. He’d only yell at Sophie, but Neal’s physical well-being was in jeopardy.

  “It’s not what you think,” I said.

  Sophie did her best to push Neal behind her, but he was resisting her efforts. He took up a defensive stance in front of her.

  David tore his gaze from Sophia to direct his rage at me. “I have high blood pressure as it is, Drew.”

  “I know.” I hadn’t known, but his temper was legendary, so it didn’t surprise me. “Let me explain. Sophie and I are both in love with Neal.”

  To his credit, Neal didn’t flinch. Like a cheetah, he kept his attention on the threat and ignored everything else.

  David’s eyes boggled. “You’re looking for what? My blessing?”

  Anna tugged on his arm. “They’re adults. They don’t need our blessing.”

  Sophia managed to get around Neal. She probably found it ironic that he was trying to protect her when she’d proven twice that she could take him. “Dad, Mom, I’d like you to meet Neal.”

  Speechless, David said nothing. Anna stepped forward, but she didn’t offer her hand. “Neal, please don’t take this personally. It’s a lot to process. Perhaps next time we’ll sit down and have a chat. For now, I need to get my husband home before he says something he’ll regret.”

  With that small speech, they were out the door. I wanted to shake Sophia for doing things this way, but I bore an equal share of the blame. I had done everything in my power to get Neal here tonight.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Sophia

  I stared at the closed door, flabbergasted by my father’s behavior. Sure, he’d blown up when he’d caught my brother kissing Evan when he was supposed to be dating Alaina, but this was different. Or the same, really.

  If he could accept the fact that Danny wanted to be married to two people, then why couldn’t he accept the fact that I wanted a polyamorous relationship too?

  Drew put his arms around me. “Honey, I’m sorry. We shouldn’t have sprung this on your dad. Your mom took it better, but not great.”

  By this time, we’d attracted the attention of everybody in the kitchen except Zach. No doubt he’d found his bliss in the game room. We weren’t much for gaming, but Drew’s original decorator had insisted that every bachelor pad needed one, so instead of insisting on something he’d actually use, he’d installed one. At least something besides the pool table was getting some use.

  Danny shook his head, offering no support or sympathy. Alaina came up on his left side and slipped her arm around his waist.

  To his right, Evan studied the situation. “You’re going to need to talk to them, and it’s not going to be an easy talk to have.”

  Neal scowled. “Mistress, you set me up.”

  I felt like shit. I had set him up. I hadn’t meant to. I hadn’t done it maliciously. The kiss had been an accident. He’d come inside, and we kind of just fell into one another’s arms. Drew hadn’t been upset by it. If I was reading him correctly—and I usually did—he had found the image arousing.

  “I’m sorry, Neal. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I thought they would have been gone by now.” Or even if they hadn’t left, I had planned on introducing him as Drew’s newest protégé. Having my father catch us kissing had not been on the agenda.

  Alaina whispered something in Daniel’s ear. She looked like she wanted a soft bed and ten hours with nothing to do.

  Danny said, “We have to get going. We’ll discuss this later.”

  I nodded. Putting off talking about this with my disapproving big brother sounded like an excellent idea. I hugged Alaina good-bye. “If you need anything, let me know. I’m not working tomorrow.”

  Danny squeezed the back of my neck. “Great. I’ll see you at the studio at four.”

  I twisted out of his hold before he could get a lock on me. He was one of the few people I couldn’t beat in fight, mostly because he was the one who’d taught me everything I knew about self-defense. “Five.” I countered because I wanted to. I could have made it by four, but I didn’t want him to think that he was in charge of the conversation.

  Evan hugged me, as did Zach, who had emerged from the game room upon threat of death. They no longer threatened to leave him here because he wouldn’t have minded staying.

  Danielle had waited in the kitchen, thank goodness. We found her cleaning up the leftovers.

  “You don’t have to do that,” Drew said, skating around the island counter and removing a dish from Danielle’s hand. He wasn’t being nice—he was particular about who cleaned his kitchen and how they went about it. Our housekeeper had been with Drew for seven years, and she was only allowed to touch or assist with certain things. He’d tried to impose rules on me, but once I’d moved in with him and insisted we keep our finances separate, those rules had vanished.

  The man badly wanted a joint checking account that I actually used. He wanted it so badly that he even encouraged me to think of his kitchen as my own, which I was actually beginning to do.

  She ceded the dish to Drew. “It’s the least I could do after you saved my little nephew from being massacred by your father. He’s a big man. Neal’s tough, but I don’t think he stood a chance.”

  I scoffed at that. My father had been pissed at me, not Neal. “He’s a teddy bear, not a threat.”

  Drew, Danielle, and Neal all looked at me like I’d lost my mind.

  Neal ran his hand down my hair, a soft caress one might give to a child or a crazy person. “A bear, maybe.”

  I smacked his hand away. And shot him a don’t-fuck-with-me look.

  Danielle came to him and pulled him down for a tight hug. Then she kissed his forehead. “I’m going to take off now. I think you’re in good hands.”

  She gave me a similar farewell, and Drew walked her to the door.

  Facing Neal, I apologized again. “I am sorry about what happened. I didn’t think anybody would see us.” Feelings swirled through my head. “I don’t want to hide our relationship. Drew doesn’t either. We’ve always been discreet, and we’ll keep things that way if it’s what you want, but know that Drew and I—”

  He put his hand over my mouth. “Please, Mistress, don’t say it. Not again. I’m not ready to hear it.”

  While I understood and would respect his limit, doing so made my heart ache. Drew had blurted out to my father that we both loved Neal. We hadn’t discussed him using that term, but it fit. Once I thought I’d never love anybody, and now here I was, in love with two men.

  Drew came back and assessed the situation with a keen eye. “How about some dinner? I put away a plate for you. I’ll warm it up.”

  Neal’s hand dropped away from my mouth, but not before I’d kissed his palm. I might not be allowed to say it, but I could show him my feelings.

  I looked over at Drew, but my gaze landed on the untouched pie on the counter. My brother had snagged the other one and smuggled it out without me seeing. To be fair, my attention had been elsewhere, and I grudgingly admitted that it belonged
to him.

  “At least he didn’t take both of them,” I muttered. “Let’s start with pie. My mother makes the best pie in the world.”

  Drew grinned. “Don’t let Ginny hear you say that. She’s very competitive.”

  “Says the man who’s trying to get her to make pies on his show,” I scoffed.

  “It would make a great Thanksgiving special. I could have your mom and mine, both of them talking about traditions and family.” He worked as he talked, heating Neal’s dinner and cutting three generous portions of pie. “And Ginny would be fine with it because she gets a cut of the profits.”

  “What kind is it?” I asked. My mom hadn’t let us near them, which was the only reason there was any left. We usually started with dessert. She was trying to change our habits, weed out our love of desserts, but her efforts were destined for failure. Danny and I weren’t the only ones who would mount a rebellion. I’m pretty sure Zach was firmly on our side.

  Drew set the pieces down on the table. We still had a good amount of cleanup to accomplish, but that could wait until after pie.

  “Apple cinnamon,” he said. “It’s cool. If you want it heated up, you’re going to have to do it yourself.”

  My mom’s pie was good at any temperature. I sat down with my piece and dug in. Neal slid in next to me and moaned in orgasmic bliss as he savored his first bite.

  “Sophie,” Drew said as he set down a plate of food in front of Neal, “did you know that Alaina was in an accident?”

  That had been news to me. Though we’d been on vacation, that was the kind of thing I expected to get a phone call about. “No. My parents looked surprised too.”

  The corners of his mouth turned down. “I wonder why nobody said anything.”

  “Maybe they didn’t want people making a fuss over Alaina. She looked exhausted, and you know how my mom gets when she thinks somebody needs her loving care. Lainie has all she can handle with Danny and Evan.”

  Drew slid into the seat opposite me, which put Neal, who was at the end of the table, between us. “They did say she was fine. Still, it was odd for them not to say anything. I mean, your brother texts you pictures of squashed bugs and videos of snakes giving birth. You’d think he’d slip something significant in there somewhere.”

  Danny texted me pictures of grosser things than that, but I didn’t often share those with Drew. From the time we were little, we’d engaged in a rivalry where we each tried to out-yuck the other. It was fun, but it was our quirk.

  “I’m meeting him tomorrow, so I’ll beat it out of him then.”

  Neal had been following our conversation while eating. We hadn’t expected him to participate, not the way he was inhaling his dinner. He hadn’t reacted much to anything, not that I expected him to—he didn’t know my family yet. Now his brow furrowed. “You’re going to beat your brother?”

  “Maybe,” I said. “Unless he’s distracted, he usually wins.”

  Drew pointed his fork at me. “Not easily. You definitely make him work for it.” He beamed proudly.

  “My brother owns a martial arts studio,” I explained to Neal. “We both learned martial arts from our grandfather, but Danny took his training a lot further than I took mine.” I put my hand over his lightly. “I devoted my attention to learning other skills, like how to use a flogger.”

  “You’re very good at it,” he said. He removed his hand from under mine. His plate was empty. He set his fork down.

  My attempt to squelch the pang caused by his rejection was unsuccessful. “Neal, I wish you would talk about what’s bothering you.”

  “You kissed me with a houseful of your family nearby.”

  I opened my mouth to apologize again, but he wasn’t finished.

  “You kissed me, and I let you.”

  Jesus! Was this what I made Drew feel like all those times I’d broken up with him? Regret burned in me for two reasons now.

  “And I liked it. All you have to do is look at me, purr at me in your Domme voice, and all of my reservations vanish. I submit to you way too easily. For so long, I’ve avoided situations that required true submission. When I first hooked up with you two, I figured I’d fake it and have fun, but that’s not what happened.”

  His voice came out strong, and his soothing cadence washed over me. Pain simmered just under his surface. I wanted to hold him until it was gone, but I knew that he needed space right now.

  “And you.” He turned to Drew. “You weren’t even pretending to be a Dom. You just did it, and you did it well. It never occurred to me to fight it, and that scares the hell out of me. After being with Master Geordie, I swore that I’d never give anybody power over me like that again. I promised myself, and here I am, doing it again.” He shook his head. “And not with one dominant, but two.”

  My heart, bruised and battered, went out to him. “Oh, Neal. I know what it’s like to be betrayed by someone you love. You want to curl up and hide. You build a wall around your heart and you don’t let anybody inside. Breaking it down is terrifying. I know. I’ve been there.”

  He shook his head. “You can’t possibly understand.”

  I looked to Drew for support. I’d told this story before in group therapy as a way to help other women who had been in my shoes, and it never got easier. Drew reached across the table and took my hand.

  “When I was nineteen, I was raped by my boyfriend. I’d known him since I was seven years old. He was a close friend of my brother. I trusted him. I loved him, and he raped me. When Drew met me, I was hard and cold. I had no intention of falling for him, but he was patient. I gave him every reason to head for the hills, and he refused to give up on me.”

  Something cracked in his eyes, and I wondered what Geordie had done to Neal. I felt anger, rage at this man. I was furious that I couldn’t track him down, tie him to a rack, make him feel naked and vulnerable, and then abandon him.

  Drew took Neal’s other hand, holding us both, trying to absorb the remembered pain. “Neal, I don’t know what you’re going through, but that won’t stop me from being here for you. I know it’s hard to believe, but you can trust us. We don’t expect you to take our word for it, though. If you let us, we’ll prove it to you.”

  Neal nodded. It was barely there, almost imperceptible. In a quiet voice, he said, “When we were on Elysium, why didn’t you get mad at me for leaving all those mornings?”

  I swallowed. I hadn’t been mad. “You needed space. You asked for it, and we gave it to you. I want you to be happy, Neal. That’s important to me.”

  “You’re allowed to do what you want to do,” Drew said. “It’s a relationship. We want that with you.”

  Neal considered our assurances. “I’ve only ever been truly happy as a submissive. It’s also what’s made me the most miserable.” Neal lifted his gaze, capturing first Drew’s and then mine. “I want to submit to you. I want to be yours.”

  All the aches in my heart healed. I couldn’t stop the huge smile that plastered itself on my face. “We want that too, but not at the price of your happiness. Communication is important. Don’t be afraid to let us know what you’re feeling.”

  Drew rose. “When I come back, I want to see you kneeling at your Mistress’s feet.”

  I had an idea where Drew was going, and I approved.

  Neal slid from his chair and crawled until he was next to me. When he was closer, I guided his head to my lap, and he snuggled against my leg. I ran my hands through his silky hair, down his neck, and over his shoulders. Something about having a strong man at my feet made me feel even more feminine.

  He hadn’t declared his love, but he was willing to give me his devotion and affection. It would do for now. Experience had taught me that emotional scars don’t heal all that quickly.

  “In my dungeon, I have chains in the ceiling. I’m going to string you up, stretch out your body so that every nerve ending is awake, alive, anticipating what I’ll do next. I’m going to blindfold you, but I’m not going to use a gag. I’m going to
make you gasp and moan, beg and lose control.” I whispered these promises to him. With every word, he grew simultaneously relaxed and more tense.

  Stroking the indented line at the top of his spine, I continued with my verbal caress. “Everything I do to you will be slow and gentle, whether I’m giving you pleasure or pain.”

  On my leg, he shuddered.

  “Are you getting hard yet?”

  “Already there, Mistress. Kneeling at your feet, feeling your touch, and hearing your voice is enough.”

  I felt rather than heard Drew’s return. He stood behind Neal with a collar in his hands. It was the same one he’d taken off on Elysium. Though his rejection of that symbol had hurt, I hadn’t made an issue of it. The collar only had meaning if he wanted to wear it.

  Gently, I cupped his cheeks and guided his face so that he could see me. “Neal, we’d like to put our collar on you, this time it’s symbolic of our relationship, not a vacation accessory. We’re not asking for a formal ceremony or for that level of commitment, but we’d like something more permanent and meaningful than a fling.”

  Drew stood behind me. He reached out and stroked Neal’s lower lip. “Putting this on means that none of us are seeing other people. Sophie and I aren’t interested in spending time with other submissives, and we hope having a Mistress and a Master is enough for you.”

  Neal stared at the collar, longing and trepidation warring behind his eyes.

  I wanted to reassure him, but his conflict wasn’t something I could solve. “We only want you to wear it when we’re here together. When we’re not in a scene or if you’re not feeling like you want to be submissive, then you’ll take it off.”

  That seemed to help him fight off his reluctance to take the next step.

  “If I say no, then what?”

  I stroked the hair at his temples, smoothing it away from his face. “Then I hope you won’t leave. Drew and I want you whether or not you feel ready to commit or take things to the next level.”

  He sat up tall and let his hands drop to his thighs. “I want it.”