Shattering Halos

by Sunniva Dee

  He reached for a tissue and began to dab in small circles around my eyes. I needed to be alone. No Marina, no uncle, no Gabriel.

  “Why don’t you start the car, Marina? In the meantime, I will give your friend something to repel the demon with.”

  Oh, this is where he’ll ‘relieve the pressure?’

  Marina thanked him profusely. When we both rose, he put a hand on my arm. My instincts screamed for me to squirm away, but I curbed my trepidation. The last whiff of fresh air left the room as Marina hurried out.

  Mr. Lampedusa’s eyes darkened. “It’s a secret, Gaia. What I’ve got for special occasions can’t be common knowledge.”

  In a corner of the library, a dim backroom lurked behind a half-open door. His palm landed on my hip as he gallantly held it for me, but he ruined the impression by stealing an eyeful of my chest as he waved me through.

  The only way out slammed shut with a bang.

  “You have to swear not to tell—” Uncle Sebastian insisted while my stomach quivered in refusal.

  No emergency exits. No walls thin enough to bludgeon my way through even in my imagination.

  Crap.

  He took my hand and guided me over to a big dresser. Dozens of crucifixes, all on chains, came into view when he pulled out the top drawer. There were wooden crosses, silver crosses, and even some with gemstones.

  “They have been blessed with holy water and are highly effective in keeping the hideous creatures at bay.”

  Hideous?

  He turned and tugged me closer with a hand at the small of my back. With a cheap crucifix dangling from the other, he leaned in the last inches to my ear.

  “Let me help you.”

  “It’s fine—I can put it on myself,” I said, but he wasn’t listening.

  A flowing shimmer solidified at the corner of my eye. With brow knotted and arms crossed, Gabriel watched and waited. He didn’t censor the glare he bored into the man’s spine.

  Mr. Lampedusa reached around my neck and locked the pendant in place. His hand caressed my throat casually as he straightened it. Then his bony fingers ran over my collarbone and down to the elbow, leaving my skin crawling in their wake. Misunderstanding my reaction, he smirked and grasped my other shoulder.

  Adrenaline scampered through my veins. Lungfuls of air rushed out in shallow bursts. He pressed himself against me, trapping me flush to the bureau.

  “What are you doing? Stop!”

  I lost balance, my head hitting the wall with an awkward thump. Oh, the cologne. So overpowering. My stomach rolled. Numb, my hands moved in slow motion to fend him off.

  “Darling girl—sweet temptress…” His hand trailed down to my hip, driving its way in between our bodies.

  “Oh God, no!”

  His lips didn’t make it to mine.

  A petrifying screech crushed in, rattling the stone walls. It hurled him across the sanctuary and forced the oxygen out of my lungs. Bolts of light stabbed through the darkness until they merged into a whiteness so bright it devoured the room.

  Sebastian sank to the floor in a fetal position, mouth twisted into a frozen scream. My hands flew to my ears, trying to block out the excruciating sound of a million tons of glass shattering, screaming—grinding against my eardrums.

  The air stormed thick with gleaming shards. Sebastian’s eyes found mine and widened. Like a drowning man’s, his hand lashed out along the floor, grappling for my foot.

  In a blur, the crystalline debris shot up around me, no longer an aimless, amorphous tempest. Cylinder-shaped, it circled me, closing in tighter, swirling faster and faster until it cocooned me at the still center of a small tornado. Through the twinkling shield between us, I saw Mr. Lampedusa’s attempt at self-protection as he sank into himself again, arms shielding his skull.

  My legs gave out.

  Gabriel caught me before I hit the floor. He lifted me up and strode out of there with my head pressed against his shoulder. The pandemonium raged full force until the front door of Mr. Lampedusa’s mansion shut behind us and I flung my arms around Gabriel’s neck.

  The silence outside was deafening. It belied the apocalypse I’d just witnessed inside. Dark and calm like a river, the night drifted past us, blanketing us with peace. I buried my face against him.

  “Sunshine, I wish you didn’t have to go through that. And I am sorry I got a little on edge.”

  ‘A little on edge?’ I never want to make him angry.

  Nausea took over as I fought to expel the memory of Marina’s uncle’s groping hands. I wanted to forget his glistening lips and the stench of his aftershave.

  I felt dirty, so guilty. No, I shouldn’t have left the mall in this dress. If only I had stopped him from touching me. I shouldn’t have gone with him to the backroom.

  A remote corner of my brain insisted that I was experiencing a textbook reaction to sexual abuse.

  Not my fault. Not at all my fault.

  I gagged. Gabriel shushed me like a child. His soft breathing against my throat suffused light where all had been drained. His humming at my ear soothed me, a lullaby of an unknown civilization. Still, not even an angel clutching me in his arms could snap me free.

  He put me down by the fountain where life-sized angels stretched their wings out and smiled. Gabriel lifted my face to his.

  “Be patient. You will get over this, my sun.”

  A sob broke through. “Gabriel, I’m glad you came.”

  “I’m always with you, remember?”

  A fully materialized Gabriel might have been why Marina suddenly blinded us with her floodlights. Pressing me to his side, he walked me to the car.

  Marina scowled at him with such impotence I almost felt bad for her. After all, she couldn’t have known what would happen to me.

  Gabriel shook his head and leveled his gaze on her. “Your uncle tried to…force himself on Gaia.”

  Marina’s jaw dropped in disbelief. “Uncle Sebastian? No way. He would never…” She cut herself off and studied me. She must have found the truth in my expression. Her stare darted to my dress, scrutinizing it while Gabriel strapped me into the passenger seat.

  “I wish you’d worn your regular clothes.”

  Her statement, too close to my own thoughts, jerked me out of the numbness. Before I could think, I whirled around and hit her smack in the face, so hard that red finger marks blushed over her skin.

  “You know what I wish? That you’d never taken me to your creepy old uncle.”

  I wasn’t sure whether my words, the slap, or Gabriel’s beautiful laughter was what left Marina speechless. My angel—love and goodness incarnate, not capable of evil in any form—should he be laughing out loud at my mean display? Confused, I shook the doubt off.

  “Did you never wonder why they threw him out of freaking priest school, Marina? Clearly he wasn’t cut out for it!”

  Gabriel didn’t leave time for her to reply. “If you don’t take her home now, Marina, I will myself.”

  At one point during the dead quiet of the drive back, I stole a glance at my girlfriend and the pale, embossed lines where her mouth was scrunched shut. Marina’s glower remained fixed on the road, red and white zebra stripes blazing across her cheek.

  When she dropped me off at the house, I got out without saying goodbye. All I could muster was a clipped “thanks.”

  As I entered the hallway, my parents called from the living room. Before I could face them, I had to reshuffle my demeanor into the carefree shopaholic.

  “Hi, sweetie. Did you have fun shopping?”

  “Awesome! Gimme a minute. I’ll show you what I bought.”

  Inhaling sharply, I ran upstairs. I closed the bathroom door and let out a sob.

  What’s wrong with me? Why do I attract insanity?

  In front of me, the mirror reflected an unruffled dress that wasn’t as sexy as I’d feared. My pumps didn’t have a scratch, and my hair still claimed the twists and curls from before I left for the mall. Really? After what I’d bee
n through, all I required was a dab of makeup?

  The door clicked open behind me, and Luna leaned her mouth against the doorjamb. A long, chocolate-colored strand of hair slid across her cheek.

  “Why are you crying, Gaia?” Wide, green eyes studied me from behind her hair. “You can’t go downstairs like that—they’ll shoot off a million questions.”

  “Oh, Luna.” The tears flooded over. My little sister dropped the pointe shoes she’d been carrying and hurried over to put her arms around me. I covered my face with my palms, trying to stifle the sobs.

  “What happened? Why are you so sad again now?” she whispered.

  “Nothing happened. It could have, but I was lucky. Sis, don’t ever let anybody touch you if you don’t want them to, okay? Promise?”

  “Okay. Did you…?”

  “Promise, Luna.” My voice rang out too sternly.

  “I do, I promise.”

  “And don’t ever visit Angel Oaks.” She had no reason to, but I wasn’t taking any chances.

  “All right, I won’t.” Luna knew better than to insist on more answers. She watched me fix my makeup and pull myself together. By the time I headed downstairs, I was collected and calm.

  My father looked up from the hockey game. I had to pull off the perfect show, so I strutted in front of the TV in a purposely klutzy version of a runway model.

  “Oh, how pretty, sweetheart! Isn’t that cute, Edwin?”

  Dad rewarded us with an enthusiastic chuckle. “Yes, very elegant. You’re gorgeous as always, Gaia.”

  Luna peered at me from the stairs. I did a couple of clumsy pirouettes, and my mom smiled at my silly show.

  “How much?”

  “Sixty-eight ninety-nine,” I guessed. This would get my father started on his rant about psychological pricing, hence focus on me—gone.

  “Why don’t they tag it ‘seventy’ already? Those marketing people think we’re stupid.”

  Bingo.

  He rolled his eyes in preparation for The Speech, but my mother cut him off with a mild purr. “Good price, though, right, Edwin? It’s the style of the season.”

  He exhaled and nodded. “Uh-hum, sure.”

  My dad was tall and robust, with dark brown hair and coffee-colored eyes, as close to a bear as you can get—for a human.

  “Honey, do you want anything from the kitchen?” He glanced at my mom as he fought to get out of the recliner. She shook her head, and he gave me one of his one-armed bear hugs on his way past me. When I made to leave, Mom stopped me. “Gaia.”

  “Yes?” I held my breath.

  “That was Marina dropping you off, right? Not the boy?”

  I’d had too much excitement for one day and couldn’t take a fight with Mom. “Right, Marina drove me. He doesn’t anymore.”

  “Did you tell him?”

  “Yes, Mom, I did.”

  Taking my hand, she searched my eyes. “You may be an adult, but I know a thing or two about life, and as long as you’re under my roof, Gaia…” When I didn’t speak up, she trailed off, her gaze softening. “I know it’s hard sometimes.” The back of her hand reached up and brushed against my cheek.

  “I love you.”

  “I love you too, Mom.”

  My mother’s sympathy chipped at me. Maybe the shower could erase this crazy, crazy night.

  Chapter 11 — Sense

  Gaia

  My dreams spiraled out of control. Diabolic symbols spun around me, and demons grinned with Sebastian Lampedusa’s face. Mom stared me down, trying to penetrate my soul.

  Gabriel, suddenly an avenging archangel, ignited blinding explosions and set my nerves on edge with dead-on imitations of Jack Nicholson’s cackle from The Shining. At one point somebody held a wooden cross in front of me, swinging it like a pendulum. Gruesome quotes about fallen angels floated in the air.

  I woke up knowing that something besides my exhaustion was wrong, and when I remembered, I needed a minute with my grief before I could face Gabriel.

  Eerily magnificent, he sat with his legs crisscrossed on the windowsill. The deepest cobalt glittered in his eyes, betraying his pain. He already knew what I was about to say.

  “Gabriel…” Agony flooded me. “Guardian angels don’t act the way you do, do they?”

  “No, never.”

  “Isn’t everything wrong about this? About us?”

  Was it me who drained the last drop of blue from those irises?

  “If you’re not a fallen angel, how can I…” Even just saying the rest felt wrong. “…tempt you?”

  He shut his eyes. “I wish I knew.”

  “And then you keep changing my fate.”

  “Yes. Over and over again. And—somehow I’m still here guarding you after everything I’ve done!” His face dropped into his hands. As he continued, I tried to imagine a life without angelic intervention. My future stretched out bleak and endless before me.

  “I don’t understand why Michael hasn’t come yet.”

  “Michael?”

  “The archangel. He must be giving me another chance. Even after all the infractions yesterday.”

  He looked up. His shimmering face, those silky black lashes. Exquisitely curved eyebrows, the generous lips that kissed me not long ago. No more.

  I swung my legs out of bed, but they shook so I slumped back on the edge.

  “I don’t know what to think anymore,” I said. “Do you realize I’m the only one who believes you’re not a demon? Even the quotes from the Bible yesterday…Everybody wants to make this stop, Gabriel. When the world agrees and a single person has a different belief, shouldn’t the one person listen and agree with the world?”

  “You’ve lost faith in me.” The statement stole out so quietly. He nodded to himself.

  “No! It’s not that. I do believe in you,” I murmured. “God—ah, I don’t know what to believe anymore.”

  Don’t look. Just tell him.

  “Gabriel, it’s best that you remain invisible.” The words came out choked.

  Too graceful for my world, he stood and moved to me. In one fluid shift, he sat beside me, caught my mouth, and kissed me with such longing that I forgot to breathe. I weakened and didn’t resist when he lowered me to the mattress.

  “He’ll exploit you so bad you won’t remember your own name when he’s done with you. The servants of the devil…”

  Feathery light, he teased my neck, producing goose bumps that ran down my body and puckered my nipples. A luminous lock fell over a closed lid as his lips danced over mine. Sweeter than my worries, his body pressed against me.

  “He’s a demon who wants to possess you and lies to you in order to get his way.”

  His tongue sketched a trail from my collarbone to my chest. I arched, wanting him closer, much closer. His hardness, right there. My heart drummed out a savage beat, but my thoughts stuttered and slowed.

  No tomorrow. No consequences.

  He drew away, studying me, and I squirmed under his still body. “Are you a fallen angel? Am I a daughter of man you find attractive like that awful man said?”

  “No, I’m not a fallen or a demon. But I do find you attractive—Gaia, you’re irresistible to me.”

  His kisses found my cleavage, creating a spasm in my stomach.

  “Gabriel, what he said…”

  “What, sunshine…” A glimpse of aquamarine flickered before his eyes shuttered again. I tasted salt on his lips. It would intoxicate me forever.

  “Your real name…what is it?”

  “He was wrong about so many things. Mine is a common name. It’s Gabriel, and I am your guardian angel.”

  Flipped in a blur, I found myself straddling his lap on the edge of the bed. Cradling my neck in one of his palms, he leaned me back. My face was an open book in this position. It was as if he could peer into every thought I had.

  Unnerving.

  “Gaia, you’re my daughter of Eve. The fallen angels were cast out, and they did take the ones they wanted as if they were t
heir wives.”

  “They did?” My voice was a husky whisper.

  “Yes, but the daughters of man didn’t choose to be with them. The Fallen Ones compelled them, so they had no choice. Sunshine, I would never do that to you—dazzle you.”

  My vision clouded. Through the mist, the outline of his features shone with an amber glow.

  “Why do you want me, Gabriel? I don’t understand. Of all people, why me?” A tear snaked down my cheek, and I watched him shake his head.

  “I’ve been the guardian of thousands of humans, but I’ve never felt this way about someone before.” He smoothed my forehead with two fingertips. They moved on to dip into my tear.

  “What about your own kind? Another angel?”

  He laughed quietly. “It’s different. No.”

  I couldn’t release him yet. I needed one more minute. My doubts meant nothing when my hands pressed over his heart. He let himself fall softly to the bed. I curled on top of him and soaked in his scent, his face, the soft feel of his hair. I kissed him again and again.

  Gabriel had all the time in the world, and he savored it. Light fingertips painted tight patterns on the surface of my flesh. Unhurried, he traced my ribs, the side of my breasts.

  I touched him like I’d never even fantasized. I memorized every muscle then dipped my hands under his untucked shirt to stroke the warmth of his skin.

  A sharp intake of air and a slow blink revealed his desire. But most of the time he kept his gaze on my face, drinking in my bliss and my sorrow.

  I didn’t know what I wanted anymore. I should be responsible, listen to those who loved me. Why was it so hard to do?

  “God, this hurts.”

  “Hush, sun. I’ll watch over you. You will move on and be happy.” Cupping my cheeks, Gabriel lifted his head. He kissed my eyelids, undeterred by my sobs.

  When I opened my eyes, he was gone. No trace of him remained on the bed. Like a crazy person, I got up and roamed the room, searching for a residual shimmer—anything.

  I’d asked for this, and Gabriel had granted my wish. Now my scream had to be contained. I rushed back to the bed and killed it with my pillow. How could you fly so high and plunge so deep in a single moment?