Shattering Halos

by Sunniva Dee

  “What? In Spring Hills?” I asked, interrupting the stare-down.

  “Yes, on wings it’ll be quick, sun.” His voice softened for a moment. Gabriel snuck a hand under my hair, cupping the nape of my neck. “Let’s stop by the dorm so you can change into something warmer. I don’t want you to get cold.”

  His gaze slid right back into a murderous scowl at Cassiel while he guided me to the car. I was grateful that the Porsche didn’t accommodate the three of us.

  Soon, we reunited with Cassiel in the forest behind the building, and the darkness shielded us as we took off on two sets of wings. I could thank Gabriel’s insistence for wearing not only a coat, but a hat, scarf, and gloves too.

  It wasn’t the pleasure ride I’d expected. Instead of the two hours the trip generally amounted to by car, this minutes-long flight knocked the wind out of me. I shook with cold and adrenaline.

  Landing first, Cassiel immediately folded away his pearlescent gray plumage. Gabriel did not. He brought me close, cocooning me in a blanket of snowy feathers. Warm and soft, they released Gabriel’s scent, and the hot air he blew in between our bodies warmed me in waves. I couldn’t think of a better way to defrost.

  With my nose tucked to the indentation above his collarbone, I peeked over Gabriel’s shoulder at his brother. Cassiel’s wings had vanished altogether. During the time Gabriel’s remained exposed, Cassiel guarded the exit from the back alley. The gracious pose as he stood there alert, this unexpected suggestion of loyalty, tugged at my heartstrings.

  At the Café des Artistes, Oscar the bartender’s lack of customers didn’t surprise me this time. He greeted us with a crooked smile and rasped out his suggestions.

  “Two ginger ales? A Shirley Temple?”

  “Champagne and strawberry for me, Oscar. Any kind will do tonight,” Cassiel murmured.

  We seated ourselves at a corner table that held bittersweet memories for me. Cassiel began without preamble.

  “The Grigori are mobilizing.”

  “The Grigori?” Gabriel paled. “No way. They’ve been quiet for millennia. What are they up to?”

  Cassiel puffed out a breath and took a sip of his drink. “I know, and just so you don’t start flattering yourself; the Grigori don’t care that you or anybody else suffers.”

  Gabriel’s brow furrowed. “It’s a coincidence, you think?”

  “Not at all. They’re keeping a close eye on you because of the Earthling—” he jerked his head in my direction, “—tempting a Celestial angel. They’ve been pretty damn stoked about every step you’ve taken toward falling out of grace.”

  “What do they care?” Gabriel narrowed his eyes.

  “Well, they can’t figure out why it’s happening without Michael’s retribution, and they’re gobbling it up!”

  Gabriel still looked puzzled.

  “Last night was huge for them, of course,” Cassiel went on. “Your former transgressions were nothing compared to that. You gave in to your desires and took her like a goddamn human. Only Fallen Ones are that corrupted. The Grigori can’t believe their luck! And honestly, Gabriel—I have no idea why the Celestials haven’t stopped you yet.”

  Impatient with his own narrative, Cassiel threw his head back, making the cobalt gleam of his hair flicker.

  “So, anyway. Long story short, the Grigori want to use you to re-conquer Heaven. Fun part is their plotting might just work—provided that the Creator doesn’t throw your ass out first.”

  Gabriel’s face sank into his hands.

  My head spun. “Cassiel, why are they excited about Gabriel being with me?” Cassiel’s attention swung my way.

  “All right, so they’re loving it because Gabriel’s been getting away with murder. It’s like he’s this golden boy! Who the hell knows what Michael’s thinking. If the Celestials haven’t discovered what happened, and Gabriel doesn’t get…um, dethroned, for what he’s done,” a musical chuckle escaped him, “this can be abused by the Grigori.”

  “Who was the messenger?” Gabriel whispered.

  Cassiel groaned.

  “Ramiel himself. Last night at 6:21 p.m. he came to my apartment. He was absolutely thrilled.”

  Gabriel understood. Because silence was loud sometimes, I caught on when he gathered me onto his lap and tucked my face close.

  “Gabriel, was that when we…when you…?”

  “Yes, sunshine. When we became one.”

  My muffled questions carried out to the angels, and between them, they recounted a tale Marina’s granduncle would never learn.

  From before the beginning of time, over two hundred angels lived in the Fifth Heaven. When Jesus was born, they refused to follow the Celestial order and bow to him. They stopped doing the Archangel Michael’s bidding. As Cassiel put it: “It was all politics—we didn’t like the regime.” Before long, they rebelled openly through the War in Heaven.

  They were instantly defeated and cast out of the Heavens. The majority moved on with Sataniel and Ramiel to the Netherworld where they began to collect souls for their army in hopes of taking over Heaven. Some, like Cassiel, relished their freedom too much to obey a new leader and enjoyed an existence on Earth full of mischief, excesses, and immorality.

  “How many Fallen angels live on Earth?” I wondered.

  “About fifty, I’d say. Ramiel is trying to recruit us in his quest to move back upstairs, which is why he found me yesterday. Since I’m the closest to Gabriel, I got to be the first one. Yay.” He rolled a pair of glowing eyes.

  “Did you accept?”

  Despite the gravity of the situation, my question made them laugh. Gabriel brushed my ear with a warm kiss. “Cassiel wouldn’t have come for us if he had.”

  “Really? You picked our side?”

  Cassiel moaned impatiently.

  “No, why would I pick sides? The balance should remain as is. Heaven should be Heaven, Hell should be Hell. See, while they’re on Earth, I get to treat my little humans in whichever way I want. Delicious.”

  His stunning body stretched, flaunting his blatant disregard for everything and everybody.

  I exchanged glances with Gabriel. “Sorry, sunshine,” he murmured.

  “So, the order of the Grigori has about a hundred and fifty Fallen angels, then?” I asked.

  “Yep, they’ve spent two millennia calling the Netherworld their home and Sataniel their sovereign. Their main angelic characteristic is their winged, external beauty. It makes distinguishing them from the Celestials hard.”

  “Like with you,” I said.

  “Well, yeah, but a major difference is that the Grigori are evil through and through. They’re divine soldiers who consort with demons.”

  “Which you don’t, Cassiel?” I said, half teasing. For once, he didn’t catch the humor.

  “I’ve got my wicked streaks, I might be volatile or whatever the hell you call it, but the Grigori? Truly predictable bunch. They thrive on chaos, suffering, and darkness. Free Fallen Ones like me can definitely match their evil…”

  “Oh, that’s reassuring.” I grimaced.

  “…by becoming one of them. We would have to remove ourselves from you humans, though. Here on Earth, the likes of Mother Theresa and Gandhi influence us, but the billions of tiny acts of goodness performed by commoners do too.

  “Occasionally, one of us still manages to commit evil so momentous that Sataniel gets permission to seize him. Until now it’s been rare. But with the way Ramiel is campaigning, I bet he’ll persuade more of my Fallen brothers to join the Grigori ranks.”

  I felt small, so mortal.

  Gabriel’s worries had concentrated around Heaven’s reaction. Not once had he mentioned an Infernal response.

  A thought hit me. “You know this because Ramiel came to you, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Did he give you the particulars of their plan?”

  “No, he didn’t.”

  “Shouldn’t we get some insiders?”

  Both of them went quiet, and t
wo pairs of staggering eyes glittered back at me in surprise. Gabriel spoke first.

  “Of course, she’s right. We do need to be in on the details. Can you still agree to help, Cassiel?”

  “Oh, go for a kamikaze dive, you mean, and be doomed to tread the wheels in Hell forever?”

  Cassiel got up to fetch a second glass of champagne. “A strawberry, Oscar. Crush the damn thing first,” he barked.

  Out of nowhere, a resplendent light blinded me, drowning the bar. It erased every feature—the contours of the walls, the floor, and the ceiling.

  It’s so white!

  Stunned, I slid to the floor, my muscles suddenly refusing to respond. The radiance swallowed Gabriel. A shockwave of goodness—love, compassion—shuddered at me from all sides and granules of it seemed to sprout inside me too?

  The sensation was brazen. It invaded me, and I’d lost control over my own body. I didn’t know what to think, what to feel. I needed Gabriel.

  My hands hunted around me like fireflies. He found me within seconds and folded me into his lap with a happy squeeze.

  “Open your eyes. Meet my brother Hamied, the Angel of Miracles.”

  I found myself squinting at the brightest of suns. Slowly, the orb at the center focused and split into a pair of magnificent eyes.

  “Eyes…” I ventured.

  A smile softened Gabriel’s voice. “Yes, he’s too bright. I can’t see much more of him than you do.”

  Then it set in. Was it a single note or a chord? The constant strumming of harps saturated the air. It flowed in unexpected waves, making the walls and the furniture reverberate.

  My hand dropped to track the vibrations in my stomach. The moment went on and on, filling me with bliss. Gabriel cradled my face and kissed me.

  Finally, the sound faded and disappeared with the light. I could make out the silhouette of the marble angel again and how it stared in sightless rapture at the disappearing Celestial.

  The bartender emerged into view on the floor, flat on his stomach in veneration. Cassiel remained frozen by the bar. His expression was reverent.

  “Yes, Hamied. Thank you, so much.” Gabriel breathed a goodbye to his Celestial brother.

  Turning to Cassiel, he said casually, “Don’t you miss it? Don’t you miss them?”

  “I can’t have it all.” Cassiel shrugged, but the awe in his expression trumped his words.

  ****

  Later, much later, Cassiel reluctantly agreed to contact Ramiel. If the strategy worked, he’d become our double agent. He would be infiltrating the Grigori and relay information about troops and attack plans back to Gabriel.

  I couldn’t help thinking that our scheme seemed almost human in its defectiveness. Shouldn’t angels be infallible? Also, the beings we were trying to outsmart sounded like genuine perfection in their absolute malevolence.

  What am I getting myself into?

  Gabriel’s bond with Cassiel mystified me too. Such a strange mix of loyalty and animosity. How could he entrust Cassiel with our future—and afterlife—when he didn’t allow him within arm’s length of me?

  Heart soaring at the memory, my mind skipped to Gabriel’s jealousy at the dorm. As much as I enjoyed the thought of it, I couldn’t see him be possessive of a girl like me for more than a moment.

  Cassiel prepared to leave first, and Gabriel accompanied him to the door. For a while, they stood there talking rapidly in a beautiful, singsong language I secretly named Angelic.

  Cassiel looked back at me, frowning slightly, and Gabriel followed suit. His gaze flashed through mine before it returned to his brother. Cassiel nodded. As if in doubt, he pushed his lower lip out and shrugged.

  “Good luck, man. Catch you later.”

  Instead of exiting, he waved a last goodbye and vanished before us.

  “What was that all about?” I asked, bemused.

  “Sun, let’s take a walk.”

  A light shiver roused my stomach. “Oh no, something else is wrong.”

  He didn’t reply. With my hand in his, he led me out of the bar and into the dank streets of the harbor.

  Please, don’t make me wait for an answer.

  “It’s the message from Hamied, Gaia.”

  Anxiety jumpstarted my heart.

  “The Heavens are watching us closely. The Angel of Miracles came because he thinks we still have a fighting chance. He believes in us, but stronger wills don’t see a solution that doesn’t involve death.”

  “Oh, God. Did he say why you haven’t been punished yet?”

  “No, he didn’t. It’s so confusing.” Gabriel’s fingers threaded with mine as we walked through the streets of the harbor. “But what we shared last night did change everything. They’re bringing our case to the Fourth Heaven to convey to Michael.”

  “Michael’s in the Fourth heaven?”

  “Yes. The Grigori are mobilizing as a direct result of what we did, and Hamied advised me to request an audience with the archangel before it’s too late.”

  So he just needs a chat with his supervisor. No biggie.

  “Okay.”

  Something about his guardedness worried me. I tried not to think. He sent me a wary glance, and I waited, my damn stomach surging. When he stopped and turned me toward him, my apprehension erupted in an exhale.

  “Sweet sunshine of mine…”

  No, no, no. Don’t you “sweet-sunshine-of-mine” me.

  “Dammit, Gabriel, what’s going on?”

  Then, he shook my insane world to its epicenter.

  “Since Michael is in the Fourth Heaven, I need to present myself for recommendation through the three lower heavens to get to him. To accomplish this, I’m leaving you for a little while. I’m not sure how long it will take, Gaia. I’ll be away from you for the first time since you were born.”

  Numbness. Then, the dread pricked at my neck.

  “Angel time, right? Not human. You’re never really gone from me, you said.” Under my fingertips, the quiver of a sad chuckle stirred in his throat.

  “It’s hard to explain, Gaia, but I do have to leave. All of me needs to go for this.”

  The panic rose gradually, and the words poured out.

  “Can’t I come with you? You wouldn’t want to leave me alone when you don’t even know when you’re coming back?”

  “No living human can enter Heaven, sun.” His gentle touch as he removed a stray lock from my face didn’t appease. It tripped my nerves and left them raw.

  “Don’t you dazzle me into letting you go alone. I can’t do this! Please, I need to be with you, Gabriel—the archangel will want to see me too, won’t he?”

  The future lay barren ahead of me. I’d be without him again, not knowing where or how he was. A new War in Heaven might start. He could become a casualty I never learned of. I’d end up waiting for him forever!

  Just thinking about it, I wanted to die—oh, yes, because I’d already experienced life without him. Adrenaline shot through me at the mental picture, and I shook my head in denial.

  Gabriel had decided, I knew it. There was nothing I could do to change his mind. Hysteria snarled behind fragile shutters. I jerked to free myself from his embrace, from the scrutiny of his stare. Twisting in his arms, I squirmed to get away.

  Wake me up from this nightmare!

  He locked me in and spun me around. Trapping my waist, he lifted me to eye level and crushed me close.

  “Gaia, sweetheart. I’ll be back soon, I promise. Let me fix this for us.”

  “Quit making promises you can’t keep, Gabriel! You said you don’t know how long you’re gone for.”

  I tried to hit him, but he caught my hand. He pinned me to the wall and kept me above the ground so he could control my erratic moves.

  Blazing eyes reached for my gaze in an effort to soothe me. I jerked my head to the side, crinkling mine shut.

  “Gaia.”

  Gabriel’s voice was dangerously low, but I wasn’t listening. Not even his body shoving me once, twice, agai
nst the wall brought me to my senses. I was a confined two-year-old in the midst of a temper tantrum. A different me almost wailed in his arms.

  “Gaia! You-Need-To-Listen-To-Me!”

  For the first time ever, Gabriel roared at me. His power shook me to the core, and the words echoed in my ears long after they ended.

  Frozen in shock, I met his stare. It drilled into me as unyielding as ice. He didn’t let go of his grip when he continued as if we’d never argued.

  “Three parts are equally important for us to be able to see each other again. Am I getting through to you?” His voice was smooth and low again.

  Dazed, I nodded.

  “Cassiel is requesting an audience with Ramiel, the prince of the Grigori, second only to Sataniel. My brother cannot communicate his findings to any Celestial without drawing attention to himself.”

  A hiccup escaped me, and I swallowed.

  “Heaven will want updates on the mobilization, while Cassiel needs to give some sort of news to the Grigori in return. I’ll be in charge of obtaining the Celestial information that can keep them at bay. However, the two of us meeting up would jeopardize Ramiel’s trust in Cassiel. Are you following?”

  Sniffling, I bobbed my head. He wasn’t pinning me against the wall anymore, but his arms still caged me in. His palms remained flat to the brick by my temples.

  Calmer now, my skin reacted to his touch when a hand slid around to my back. The fingertips of his other hand began to trace my neckline.

  He heard the tiny puff of air that escaped me and placed a light kiss on my cheek. With eyes smoothing into a familiar aquamarine, he resumed.

  “You’re neither of Heaven nor Hell. You are the Earthly One in between that Cassiel and I both have access to. Every step of the way, we can appear to you with news. You can serve as the heart of our communication.”

  My arms flung around his neck, sealing me tight to him.

  “When do you leave? Not tonight? Please say not tonight.”

  His mouth pulled softly at my lower lip, raising a tingle in me. He murmured out his answer. “Sunrise. At sunrise, Gaia.”

  “Do you have plans for us?” I whispered hopefully.

  “No, we can’t…”

  Careful anticipation muted the sensation of abandonment in my abdomen.