Christmas Under a Starlit Sky

by Holly Martin

  ‘I’m starving. If you want your sandwich then you’re going to have to come and get it.’

  As he darted into the lounge, she quickly ran after him. He sat down on the sofa and as she came for him, he tugged her down onto his lap. She giggled as he offered her a bite. She took one and he took another for himself before putting the half-eaten sandwich on the corner of the coffee table next to him. He brushed the dark, curly hair off her shoulders as he quickly chewed and swallowed and she played with his fingers as she swallowed her bite.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she said.

  ‘I’m sorry too.’

  He cupped his hand round the back of her neck and kissed her, softly at first but as she let out a little sigh of need, he slipped his tongue inside her, tasting her. God, she tasted so good. He could easily forget the rest of the sandwich and just spend the rest of the night kissing her.

  Adam pulled back slightly. ‘I’ve had a lousy Christmas Day, but this, right here, makes up for every bad thing that has happened today.’

  ‘Kissing me?’

  ‘Being here with you.’

  She smiled and kissed him again and he knew he was getting in way above his head here. It was supposed to be lunch, simple as that. This morning, he’d had no intention of kissing her again and making things complicated between them. But this, right now, felt more right than anything had for a long time. It was as if something huge and integral had been missing from his life all these years. And as she stroked his face, he realised it wasn’t just intimacy with a woman that had been missing, it was Ivy. The connection between them was too tangible to deny. Something told him they were supposed to be together and that scared him to death.

  Ivy lay on the sofa as Adam stretched out half on top of her, kissing her. They simply hadn’t stopped since he’d arrived. As Christmas Days went, this was one of the best she’d had in a very long time. He hadn’t tried to take it any further though and she liked that he was being gentle and really careful with her, though part of her was tempted to throw caution to the wind and take it to the next level. If he made love half as well as he kissed then she knew the next stage in their relationship was going to be amazing.

  Knowing he would be leaving in three months somehow made it easier to do this with him. She could have fun with Adam without any of the emotional attachments, she didn’t have to worry about letting him down or not being good enough. She didn’t have to think about how that conversation would go when she told him she couldn’t have children and then seeing the disappointment in his face. And she wouldn’t have to put her trust in a relationship again, knowing at some point down the line, he would probably grow bored of her. This way was much better, they could have fun, they could spend time together and then he’d leave. She would just ignore the voice in her head that said if her feelings for him were that strong now, they would be even stronger in three months’ time and it would be even harder to say goodbye.

  He pulled back slightly to look at her and the softness in his eyes was like a punch to the stomach. He liked her too, she could see that.

  ‘I better go,’ he said, kissing her fondly on the forehead and that simple, affectionate gesture was her undoing. ‘I’m knackered and I have to be up early tomorrow.’

  The thought of him leaving made her suddenly feel sad. She reached up to stroke his face. ‘You could stay.’

  He arched an eyebrow at her.

  ‘To sleep,’ Ivy added quickly, suddenly fearful of bridging the gap between them and forging that connection she didn’t want, the connection that could lead to her getting hurt again.

  He smiled. ‘OK, but I will have to be up and out early.’

  ‘I’m always up early anyway as I go for a walk every day.’

  ‘Yes, please stay away from ponies and ditches tomorrow.’

  ‘I will, I promise. Or you could come with me, make sure that I don’t befall any other disasters.’

  His smile grew. ‘I’d really like that. I need to be back at the hotel by eight, so maybe we could leave a little earlier.’

  ‘We can do that.’

  He stood up and offered out his hand to her and when she took it, she led him to the bedroom, a burst of excitement bubbling through her at having him in her bed.

  Ivy watched him unashamedly getting undressed, and quite rightly too. This was a man who had nothing to be embarrassed about. From his muscular broad shoulders and arms, to his toned stomach, tight, cute bum and those huge, strong thighs, he was a delicious Christmas present that was unwrapping itself right before her eyes. He left his tight black boxers on and climbed straight into bed.

  She looked down at herself and the penguin onesie she was wearing. Surely, if she was going to spend the night in bed with Adam, she should wear something sexier than this, even if they weren’t going to do anything. He would be secretly disappointed too, but it seemed strange to change now.

  Ivy looked up at him and her heart leapt when he held up the duvet for her to join him. The look on his face showed that he was as excited about sharing a bed with her dressed like this as she was about sharing a bed with him when he was almost naked. He not only accepted her for what she was wearing, he wanted her.

  She quickly clambered under the duvet and Adam lay down and pulled her into his chest, his arms tight around her. Her breath caught in her throat, her heart hammering against her chest. This was so alien to her. Callum, her ex-husband, had never wanted to cuddle, in bed, out of bed or at all. The only act of intimacy they had was sex. Kissing always led to sex, he had rarely kissed her just because he wanted to kiss her. Looking back at the complete lack of love in their marriage, she had no idea why she had stayed as long as she did. But it was hard to miss something she’d never had and she had long assumed that what she and Callum had was the norm.

  She closed her eyes and snuggled in closer to Adam, breathing in his wonderful scent and when he held her tighter, kissing her head, she knew she was falling for him, which was why it was more important than ever to keep him at arm’s length.

  But right then, there wasn’t a single bone in her body that could do anything about it.

  Chapter 10

  Ivy looked up at the sky as snowflakes peppered her face. She needed some kind of distraction from how wonderful it felt to be walking through the hills and trees, hand in hand with Adam. That morning she had woken from one of the best night’s sleep she had ever had, with Adam’s arms tightly around her. It felt so good and so right that she was having trouble keeping the promise to herself that she wouldn’t let herself get emotionally attached.

  ‘It’s beautiful out here,’ Adam said. ‘The snow makes everything look so bright and clean. It’s like a new beginning every day.’

  ‘I love it here, it’s so peaceful and quiet. I like to walk out here every day because I know I’ve only got a year here and I want to make the most of it.’

  ‘A year? You can’t stay here forever?’

  ‘Like many of the artists that Gabe brought in to sell their crafts, we all signed a contract for a year. After that, it’ll be up to Gabe to decide whether to keep us on for another year. If our sales are good I’m sure that will play a part in his decision, but he might want to update the village by having different crafts and shop owners every year.’

  ‘Would you want to stay here if Gabe asked you to?’

  ‘Yes,’ Ivy said, without hesitation. ‘I’ve been truly happy here, more so than any other place I’ve lived. The villagers are so friendly and welcoming, the island is utterly beautiful. I will be gutted to leave.’

  ‘Where would you go?’

  ‘No idea. My parents moved around a lot while I was growing up so I never really put down roots or made lasting relationships. I went to university in Edinburgh and I fell in love with Scotland but then I met Callum and I moved to London with him. We married very quickly. All his friends became my friends. After the divorce it’s funny how many of them went straight back to being his friends again. One or two of the girlfrien
ds and wives tried to stay in touch for a while but it was awkward to maintain any kind of friendship when their husbands were such good friends with my ex. I don’t really have any ties to anywhere now. My parents sadly died many years ago and my little sister is in New York. Maybe I’d move there. Maybe I’d move to somewhere else in Scotland, I’m not sure.

  ‘I didn’t come out of the divorce with a very good settlement. I moved into Callum’s house when we got married, and although I contributed to the mortgage and bills over the years, because the house was in his name he was able to keep it and I got a few thousand pounds in the divorce. Wherever I go, the rent will have to be cheap.’

  ‘So you wouldn’t go back to London?’

  Ivy shook her head. ‘No, it’s lost its charm for me now. After the divorce it felt tainted. I don’t think I’d ever want to go back there.’

  Adam sighed softly next to her and she knew that she had inadvertently taken off the table any chance of making the relationship permanent. If he was in London and she didn’t want to live there then what future did they have? Maybe London wouldn’t have to remind her of her relationship with her ex-husband. Perhaps she could make some new memories there with Adam instead of holding onto the bitterness of her past. But it was jumping too far ahead to think of things like that. Adam was getting involved with her knowing he was leaving; for him this was probably no more than a bit of fun. There was no point thinking about their future. But the way he was holding her hand, the way he held her in bed, it felt like something much deeper than casual and fun.

  She sighed. If things were still going well between her and Adam when he left in three months it was something they could discuss then. Maybe he would want to stay here.

  ‘What about you? Did you always want to be a hotel manager, do you ever crave for something new, something different?’ she asked, wondering if she could tempt him away from the bright lights of London.

  He shook his head. ‘When I was a child I wanted to be a fighter pilot. Too many years watching Star Wars, Top Gun and any other film that had big dramatic flying scenes led to that dream going on far longer than most childhood dreams last. I studied Aviation at university, which gave me a lot of the basic skills I needed to become a pilot. I even got my private pilot’s licence.’

  ‘What happened? Why didn’t you pursue it?’

  ‘A life in the forces was never something I wanted. I’m too stubborn and pig-headed to be told to shine my shoes and run around the parade square twenty times every morning. Besides, the reality of being a fighter pilot and the thought that actually I might have to kill people never really struck home until I was older. I thought perhaps I might be a commercial pilot instead but. . . I don’t know, do you ever just find yourself stuck in a rut?’

  ‘I was married for five years to a man who never loved me, my rut was pretty deep. When he asked for a divorce it was something of a relief.’

  He stared at her for a moment, the compassion in his eyes evident. She looked away, hoping he wouldn’t pursue it, and he must have picked up on her desire not to talk about it as he squeezed her hand and carried on where he’d left off.

  ‘Exactly, it’s so easy just to plod along in the life you have, never rocking the boat or being brave enough to change. I was eighteen when I started working as a porter in a hotel in London. I worked there all through my university years. The money was good, the job was fun and interesting, and I enjoyed it. I was made team leader and then front-of-house manager before I even finished my studies. The money was even better and I suddenly had no real desire to leave. I still loved to fly but it became more of a hobby than a possible job. Gabe bought out the hotel not long after I finished university. He fired a ton of people but he kept me on. He told me I had a load of potential and that he could see me being manager one day. It was the first time that someone actually believed in me – he had faith in me when I didn’t have any in myself. He’s only a few years older than me and he had this clear vision, this big plan for his life, and he was just a big inspiration to me.’

  ‘He’s wonderful. I love what he’s done here, he’s very clever,’ Ivy said.

  Adam nodded. ‘A few years later he made me deputy manager and it was this massive role that I absolutely thrived on. It came at just the right time too. Things ended badly with my girlfriend and I needed the distraction of the long hours and the constant challenges to throw myself into. Every day is different and I love it. Being a hotel manager or deputy manager was never my end goal when I started working at the hotel all those years ago and sometimes I regret that I never pursued the pilot thing more, but life takes you on weird twists and turns and sometimes where you end up is where you’re actually supposed to be.’

  She smiled at that philosophy. ‘Our lives change and we adapt and make new dreams but it doesn’t mean we have to give up on our old dreams entirely. It’s not too late to pursue the pilot thing. You could carry on being a hotel manager but you could still do some pilot training in your spare time.’

  ‘I don’t get a lot of that.’

  ‘You can’t work seven days a week, that’s not realistic. There’s a place on one of the other islands, might be Lerwick, I can’t remember, but there’s somewhere nearby that offers some kind of commercial pilot training. They need planes to fly people between the islands and pilots are apparently in short supply up here. You could do that. Do the training while you’re a manager here, then at least if in the future you get tired of this job you still have the option of being a pilot. Or you could offer sightseeing tours over the islands as part of one of the added extras for the hotel. I know they plan to offer helicopter tours in the summer but maybe you could approach Gabe about doing small plane tours instead. It’s something you could do once a week so it didn’t interfere with your other duties.’

  He walked in silence next to her for a minute or two and she wondered if she had pushed him too far. She barely knew him and she was interfering in his life already.

  ‘That’s not a bad idea. I haven’t flown half as much as I would have liked over the last few years. So if anything it would be good to get my private pilot’s licence topped up and get some more flying hours logged. Sightseeing flights would be fun, even if I only did them now and again. On the rare occasions I’ve taken passengers up with me, I’ve always enjoyed seeing their reactions to flying and the views the most. I’ll look into it, at least see what it would take to make that transition from private flying to commercial or a light aircraft licence. Thank you.’

  She smiled at him, feeling happy that she had made a small difference for him.

  ‘What about you?’ Adam asked. ‘Was painting always what you wanted to do?’

  ‘I’ve always loved painting, and I’ve tried different mediums but I love the feeling of creating something with my bare hands. The fact that I’m now making money from it is fantastic, even though it isn’t very much.’

  ‘You’re living your dream, that’s wonderful. Not many people can say that.’

  ‘I’m living most of my dream. I always imagined by the time I was twenty-five, I’d be in a big white wooden house overlooking the sea, with a dog, an adoring husband and four kids, painting in my little studio every day. I’m thirty next month and while my house isn’t white, it is made from wood, I do live near the sea and I paint for a living, which is what I always wanted to do. I didn’t get the rest but I’m very happy with what I have got.’

  Ivy looked away from him as the pain of the lie sliced through her chest. She was happy with her life. She counted herself lucky every day that she was here on this beautiful island, that she got to paint instead of going to work in a job she hated. But the pain of not being able to have children was something that would simply not go away.

  ‘There’s still plenty of time for the rest of your dream to fall into place,’ Adam said, encouragingly. ‘Or you make new dreams, you adapt.’

  She smiled as he used her own words against her.

  Ivy looked up and realised
they were approaching the hotel. Adam suddenly realised that too and she was gratified when he looked as disappointed as she felt that their walk was over.

  He turned to face her, his hands going to her waist as he dropped a kiss on her forehead.

  ‘I’ve really enjoyed our walk this morning, maybe we could make it a regular thing,’ he said.

  ‘Maybe that can be arranged,’ Ivy said.

  He smiled. ‘I better go, I’ve got a busy day ahead and I doubt I’ll even have time for any lunch but I could come round again tonight, if you’re free.’

  ‘I’m most definitely free.’

  Adam pulled her gently against him, kissing her lips just briefly. His eyes were filled with affection as he gazed at her.

  ‘I’ll see you tonight then, Ivy Storm.’

  ‘I’m looking forward to it.’

  He smiled and she waved him off, her heart filling for him as she watched him go. Maybe he could be part of her new dream.

  Neve stared at the array of breakfast treats that Oakley had brought from the hospital restaurant for her. He had literally bought one of everything: pancakes, waffles, Danish pastries, croissants, porridge, lots of bowls of different cereals, bacon sandwiches, sausage sandwiches and toast with several different spreads to choose from. He hadn’t said a lot when he had unloaded everything onto the bedside table, just muttered about her eating for two now. She had forced down a slice of toast and it lay heavy in her stomach along with the lie that she somehow had to salvage. They had barely spoken all morning, though she had been beyond happy to see him there when she had woken up, evidently having spent the night with her. She was grateful when her family had arrived to break the awkward silence between them and to help eat the huge breakfast supplies.

  ‘This bacon sandwich is amazing,’ Gabe said, devouring his third. ‘Much better than the ones they served in the hotel this morning.’

  ‘We’ve all been so spoilt with the food you serve at the Stardust Lake Hotel then when we are forced to stay elsewhere, we have to come back down to earth again,’ Lizzie said, digging into the waffles.