One Fete in the Grave

by Vickie Fee

  Within minutes, we saw some people emerging from the woods on the far side of the pasture. One of them carefully lifted up a slack section of barbed wire and stepped through into the field. Others followed suit.

  Nell came running from the direction of the house, waving her arms wildly once she spotted us.

  “You two had us scared to death. I was in Bruce and Carrie’s house for the funeral lunch when one of the reserve deputies came in and said the sheriff was asking for volunteers to look for you two. Somebody had found Liv’s car but no trace of either one of you.

  “I stepped out on the porch and called Billy. I told him to get as many of his catering crew guys together as he could and to get out here to help with the search. Next thing I knew Ted stormed through the front door and came back out a couple of minutes later with Carrie in handcuffs.

  “Before he got in the patrol car, I hollered and asked him if they’d found you two and he said you were back here in the pasture. Why are you out here stomping cow patties—and did Carrie kill Bubba?”

  “It’s a long story, and yes, she did,” I said.

  Dave pulled his truck up beside the tractor barn and parked. A crowd of searchers were approaching us from the back of the field, and the funeral lunch crowd started spilling out of the house and moving across the yard toward us. It felt like we were surrounded by half of Dixie. Dave had opened the gate and was walking our way. We started walking in his direction, with Di holding on to my shoulder, hobbling on her sprained ankle, wincing and ouching with every step.

  “What happened?” Dave asked, fortunately looking more concerned than angry.

  “I managed to twist my ankle as we were climbing up the ladder out of the bomb shelter,” she said, nodding over to opening we’d climbed out of.

  He gently laid his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. “You two have any injuries other than the ankle?”

  She locked in on his gaze and softly said, “I don’t think so.”

  I decided not to mention the bruise coming up on my jaw where Di had kicked me like an ornery mule.

  “We’d better get that ankle checked out. Nell, I want you and Liv to follow me to the hospital in your car.”

  Without another word, Dave slipped his right arm around Di’s waist, scooped her up into his arms, and carried her to his truck. The gathering crowd in the yard parted to make way. The search party started clapping and the mourners joined in the applause.

  Nell gave me a wink and wrapped her arm around my shoulders.

  “Sprained ankle or not, I think Di Souther is going to be just fine,” she said. “Ain’t romance grand.”

  “Speaking of romance, Nell, I think you and Billy are going to have to have a little talk with Billy Jr.”

  Chapter 24

  Dave drove Di to the small county hospital in his truck and Nell and I followed in her car. For anything major, patients would be transported to a Memphis hospital. A nurse took Di straight back to X-ray and Dave insisted the doctor give me an exam as well, even though I told him I was fine.

  I was waiting for the doctor in one of the curtained-off areas when I heard Larry Joe coming through calling out my name. He spotted me through an opening in the curtain and barreled in. A nurse made a move to prevent him, but Dave spoke to her in a hushed tone before she turned and walked away.

  Larry Joe gently cupped my face in his hands and asked if I was injured.

  “No, no injuries. Di twisted her ankle. She’s in X-ray now.”

  Certain he wasn’t hurting me, Larry Joe scooped me up in a tight hug and showered me with kisses.

  After a few I love yous and Thank God your okays, he gave me a stern look, or at least as stern as he could manage through misty eyes.

  “What am I going to have to do to keep you from chasing after killers?”

  “I can assure you that wasn’t the plan. It just turned out that way. We had no idea Carrie murdered Bubba until she pulled a gun on us.”

  “Carrie? I was meeting with a client in Memphis when they tracked me down and told me you’d been rescued after getting locked up in a bomb shelter out at Bruce Rowland’s place. I assumed the killer was Bruce.”

  “So did we.”

  The doctor came in and checked my blood pressure and heartbeat and listened through a stethoscope as I took deep breaths before saying he thought I was good to go.

  Larry Joe and I were making our way back to the waiting area when I heard Mama.

  “Good heavens, Liv. Are you okay?” she said, grabbing my shoulders and looking me up and down before wrapping her arms around me and pressing my face to her bosom.

  I struggled to breathe for a moment before breaking free.

  “I’m just fine, Mama, and at worst, Di may have a broken ankle. Although I think it’s just sprained. And the good news is, Earl is completely in the clear now.”

  “I know, Nell told me about Carrie’s arrest when she called to tell me that you and Di were at the hospital getting checked out. Earl’s parking the car.”

  Di emerged from the hallway hobbling on crutches with her ankle wrapped. Dave was walking slowly beside her.

  “What did the doctor say?” I asked.

  “It’s a mild sprain. I’m supposed to ice it for the next couple of days and not put any weight on it for about a week.”

  “Dave, we can see Di home if you like. I understand you’ve got a murderer waiting for you at the jail,” Larry Joe said.

  “No thanks. I’ve got this,” he said, looking adoringly over at Di. “Carrie will keep for a bit. Besides, I think she’s smart enough to keep her mouth shut until her attorney arrives.

  “And for the record, we were closing in on Carrie before you two decided to put yourself in harm’s way—again. Going through Bubba’s financials we found a recent credit card charge to a DNA-testing lab. We’d just served the lab with a subpoena for the test results, but I had a sneaking suspicion it had to do with Jennifer—what with the accusations of Bubba fixing the pageant in her favor.”

  I started to say, “Now you tell us,” but decided to keep my big mouth shut.

  I gave Di a quick hug and told her to call if she needed anything.

  “You do what the doctor says and stay off that ankle so it heals right,” Mama admonished as Di began to limp toward the exit with Dave close behind. They passed Earl coming in as they were going out.

  “Congratulations, Earl,” Larry Joe said as they shook hands.

  I gave Earl a big hug. “I’m glad you and Mama can put this nightmare behind you now.”

  “Well, thank you. I’m just happy to see you and your friend are safe. I’m still having trouble wrapping my head around Carrie being the murderer. But then, I suppose parents will do pretty much anything to protect their children.”

  “This is going to be awful rough on Jennifer, losing her uncle and learning that her daddy isn’t her biological father. And now with her mom going to prison,” I said.

  “True. I’m going to put Jennifer and her dad on the prayer list,” Mama said. “But tomorrow is all about Earl and celebrating having his name cleared. I know you two probably won’t make it to church, but come over for Sunday dinner. I plan to cook all of Earl’s favorites.”

  “Now, Virginia. Liv might want a quiet day at home after her ordeal,” Earl said.

  “No. This is one celebration we wouldn’t want to miss,” I said, glancing over at Larry Joe, who nodded his assent. “We’ll see you two tomorrow.”

  “Okay, hon,” Mama said, giving me one more windpipe-crushing hug. “Earl, while we’re here at the hospital there’s a lady in my Sunday school class who just had minor surgery. I’m going to run up and see her for a minute. You want to come with me or hang out here and stare at that TV on the wall?”

  “I’ll walk up with you,” he said, giving Mama an affectionate look and placing his hand gently at her back as they made their way to the elevators.

  “I think those two are going to do just fine as old married folks,”
Larry Joe said.

  “Yeah, Earl’s a keeper. And things are looking pretty rosy for Di and Dave right now, too. I’ll tell you about Dave’s grand romantic gesture when we get home.”

  “Taco Belles?” he said.

  “That sounds good. But let’s pick up to-go plates for us, please. I’m ready to get home.”

  Larry Joe and I walked through the automatic doors into the blinding sunlight holding hands. He opened the passenger door for me and I climbed into his truck. Dave told me my SUV was in the police garage in Hartville. When it was discovered in the field with Di and me missing, Ted gave it a preliminary going-over and then called to have it towed to Hartville so a forensics team could examine it for fingerprints and other evidence to help in the search for us. Larry Joe and I would go fetch it on Monday.

  * * *

  After picking up to-go plates at Taco Belles we drove home. I walked into the house and headed straight to the shower. Crawling around in the bomb shelter and the escape hatch left me looking and feeling grimy. I spurned the cool showers I’d been taking during the heat wave in favor of hot water pulsating on my neck and shoulders.

  Stepping onto the cool tile floor from the steam that had enveloped me behind the shower curtain felt good. I wiped the fog from the mirror over the sink and looked at my jaw. I could see a bruise starting to form, but it didn’t look swollen.

  I pulled on the robe that was hanging on the bathroom door and went upstairs. I slipped into some shorts and a T-shirt and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. Larry Joe called from the foot of the staircase that dinner was served.

  Catfish tacos never tasted so good. Di and I had missed the funeral lunch, or any lunch at all. I guess we could have opened a can of lima beans in the dungeon, but on the whole I was just as glad we didn’t.

  Larry Joe filled our glasses with iced tea, kissed me on the forehead, and told me to tell him the whole story.

  “Don’t leave anything out,” he said.

  I told him more or less everything, including Mama’s performance at the funeral home when she was collecting DNA samples from Bubba in his casket.

  “If Di and I had just waited to go out to Carrie and Bruce’s house when it was full of mourners, she wouldn’t have been able to march us to the bomb shelter and we wouldn’t have been in any real danger.”

  “Or, if you’d just shared your suspicions with Dave and let him handle things, you wouldn’t have had a murderer holding a gun to your head.”

  Sure, it all sounds so obvious in hindsight.

  After a moment of silence he changed the subject.

  “So, you said something earlier about Dave and Di having a big romantic moment. Did he give her a big smooch right in front of everybody when he saw you two were still alive?”

  “Better than that. Di was hobbling on her bum ankle and he picked her up and carried her over-the-threshold style all the way to his truck. The crowd started clapping.”

  He gave me a big smile, showing off both his dimples. A grin only brings out the left one.

  I stood up and cleared away our takeout containers, dropping them in the trash can, and put our glasses in the sink. He slipped up behind me at the sink, wrapped his arms around my waist, and started nibbling on my neck and earlobes. I put my hand under the running tap and flicked my fingers at him, sprinkling him with cold water.

  He spun me around and started tickling me. He suddenly stopped and gently lifted my chin with his right hand.

  “How’d you get that bruise?”

  “Di accidentally kicked me as we were climbing out of the hatch.”

  I decided there was no point in worrying him with the fact we had started sliding down a twenty-plus-foot ladder and could have fallen to our deaths.

  He cupped my face in his hands and showered my face and lips with a gentle flurry of kisses. Then he surprised me by gathering me up into his arms, bride style, and carrying me toward the stairs.

  “Larry Joe McKay, you put me down before you throw your back out.”

  “Don’t worry. I plan to put you down on the bed just as soon as we get upstairs.”

  Chapter 25

  Sunday morning, Larry Joe and I slept in and snuggled for a bit before finally climbing out of bed around nine-thirty. We spent the rest of the morning leisurely reading the newspaper over coffee and toast before getting dressed and driving to Mama’s.

  We walked in through Mama’s front door, which was open with only the unlocked screen door pushed to, keeping the flies and mosquitoes at bay.

  We walked through to the den and spoke to Earl. Larry Joe started talking sports and I went into the kitchen, where Mama was frying chicken. She had corn on the cob from Earl’s garden cooking in the microwave and baked beans in the oven. She asked me to slice some perfectly ripe tomatoes from her own backyard. She took the baked beans out of the oven and popped in some homemade biscuits to warm them up.

  Mama and Earl were still wearing their church clothes. She told me my in-laws were also expected. They had run home after church to change clothes. No doubt Daddy Wayne wanted to change into some more comfortable pants and a golf shirt.

  I finished setting the table as I heard Larry Joe’s parents come in the front door. I couldn’t help thinking how the last time we were all here for Sunday dinner, Mama and Earl had announced their engagement, and how just a few days later Earl had been arrested for murder. I was so relieved to have that all behind us now.

  Mama and I started putting food on the table to pass and serve family style and Mama hollered for everybody to gather around.

  We stood behind our chairs at the table. Earl reached over and took Mama by the hand, she reached over and grabbed my hand, and that chain reaction continued until the circle was unbroken.

  After Earl said grace we all took our seats and dug in. Like most of her cooking, Mama’s fried chicken was top notch, moist inside and crispy outside.

  After we’d cleared the dinner dishes and taken our desserts into the den, Mama and Earl popped up from the sofa and held hands just like they did for their engagement news. The rest of us suspended our forks halfway between our plates and our mouths and looked up at them, wondering what they were about to say now. I was hoping they were going to tell us they had set a date for the wedding.

  They had—but that wasn’t the big news.

  This time Mama made the announcement instead of Earl.

  “Earl and I have decided to get married in Las Vegas—and we’re flying all of you out for the wedding on our dime.”

  I was truly speechless and apparently so were my in-laws. Larry Joe was the first to find his voice.

  “Well, that sounds like fun,” he said, getting up and going over to give Mama a hug and shake hands with Earl. “And while I appreciate the offer for airfare, we’ll pay our own way.”

  “Oh no you won’t,” Earl said. “We’re paying airfare and hotel rooms for everyone.”

  “That’s right,” Mama chimed in. “Larry Joe, you and Wayne can feel free to throw a little bachelor’s party for Earl, if you like.”

  I got up and went over to hug Mama. She took my hand and led me into the kitchen.

  “Liv, I hope you’re not mad that we’re switching gears on the wedding after all the time you and Holly have already put into planning it.”

  “No, of course not. I just want you and Earl to be happy. I have to admit I’m a little surprised about the change in plans. I mean, you could have the wedding here and still go to Vegas for the honeymoon.”

  “No, darlin’. After Earl got arrested, I had the chance to see just who my real friends were. I realized there were plenty of people on the wedding invitation list who weren’t genuine friends at all. And the way the McKays, all of you, rallied around Earl reminded me just how important family is—your little sister not withstanding.”

  “Aw, Mama, you know we’re always here for you two. And Emma will come around. She just doesn’t always live in the real world, as Daddy used to say.”

  �
��He did, didn’t he?” Mama said. “I’ll invite her and Hobie to come out to Las Vegas for the wedding if they’d like. But I don’t expect they’ll come. The baby will give her an easy out not to. And we’ll also invite Earl’s son, Luke, in Miami to come for the wedding, but he won’t come, either. He didn’t even come up to check on his daddy after Earl had been arrested for murder—and I had called to let him know.

  “But we also want to invite Di and the sheriff to come to Las Vegas as our guests. Di was right there with you trying to clear Earl’s name, even got injured in the process. And Sheriff Davidson came through in the end.”

  “That’s very generous, Mama. So tell me what you’re thinking about for the Vegas trip and wedding and Holly and I will get busy on the phone working out the details.”

  “Oh no you won’t. It’s already taken care of. Earl called a travel agent he’s used in the past and she’s arranging a whole wedding package deal. And Earl and I have decided after we get hitched in Vegas, we’re going to buy or rent a Winnebago there and hit the road out west for our honeymoon. We’re not going to plan too much, just go where the road leads us.

  “What you can do is help me with shopping and packing. I’m going to need a whole new wardrobe. And you’ve got three weeks. We plan to get married on Earl’s birthday, August sixth. I figure that way he’ll never forget our anniversary.”

  Epilogue

  Monday morning I called Di and told her I’d pick up breakfast from Town Square Diner for the two of us and bring it over if she was up for the company.

  She requested muffins and hash browns. An odd combo, but she was convalescing, so I figured whatever made her feel better.

  After swinging by the diner to pick up our to-go orders, I knocked before letting myself in through the unlocked front door of Di’s trailer. She was stretched out on the sofa with her foot propped up on a pillow.

  “Is your ankle hurting much?” I asked as I unpacked our takeout containers.

  “It was throbbing pretty good last night after the pain pill they gave me at the hospital wore off. But it’s not too bad this morning.”