Sarah's Surrender

by McDonough, Vickie;

  Carson pursed his lips as he flipped the page. Children weren’t like stray animals. Not everyone had the patience to raise a child. He thought of the woman who’d brought in the dirty little girl last week—and then he was looking at her face on page 5. He blinked. The skin on his face tightened. Miss Worley was the woman with the dirty girl?

  The waitress set down a plate of steaming chicken and noodles with peas and carrots in it. He realized at some point she’d brought his coffee and a basket of biscuits, too. “Um … thank you.”

  He reread the article. The man that had been with Miss Worley must have been her brother, but they didn’t look a thing alike, other than they both had dark hair. Their last names weren’t the same, either, but that was easy to explain if Mr. Jensen’s father had died and his mother remarried.

  Carson sat back, not really feeling hungry. He’d been rather rude to the couple, but in his own defense, he thought they’d been the girl’s parents. Why hadn’t they told him that they’d just found her? No wonder the child had so many insect bites. How many days had she wandered around on her own? It was a miracle that she was still alive and doing as well as she was.

  He nibbled at a piece of chicken. Had he been less than fair because Miss Worley looked part Indian?

  And who could fault him for thinking the dark-skinned child was hers? What were the odds of her finding a half-breed child? He supposed the girl could have been of some other ethnicity like Gypsy or Italian, but she had the look of an Indian child, except for her blue eyes.

  He stirred the noodles then took another bite. The food tasted delicious, but he felt bad for the assumptions he’d made and the way he’d treated Miss Worley and her brother. A doctor was supposed to remain impartial. He’d sorely misjudged them and owed them an apology.

  Sarah shook the diaper she’d just rinsed out and hung it on the line. Sweat dampened her bodice and back, making her clothes stick to her. “I think someone should designate summer as no-laundry season.”

  “My men would get rather ripe if that was the case.” Zelma chuckled as she stirred the remaining diapers in the washtub. She grabbed a knife and the bar of soap from a basket of supplies and scraped some more shavings into the steaming water. “That’s a good idea, except that little gal of yours would run clear out of diapers and clothes. You should let her run around diaperless in a gown like my boys did when they were young. It’s easier to clean up the mess than washing diapers so often.”

  Sarah knew that was what women in the past did, but she found the idea repulsive and didn’t want her new wooden floors soiled.

  “ ‘Course, if we didn’t wash all month, my men wouldn’t be able to change clothes every week like they do now. Although, I reckon they could all jump in the river and wash themselves and their clothes at the same time.” She chuckled. “Sure would save me lots of work.”

  “I wouldn’t mind a soak in the river.” She fished another diaper out of the rinse pot, twisted it, and hung it on the line Jack had strung between two trees. She covered her eyes and looked back toward the house. “You think I should check on Claire?”

  “Stop your fussin’ and let’s get done. Jack said he’d let you know if ‘n she woke up. Besides, we’re nearly done.”

  “Right about now, I’m wishing I had another two dozen diapers. It would mean washing a lot less often.”

  “That’s true.” Zelma lifted a diaper from the soapy water and dropped it into the rinse pot. “But just think how long it would take to wash ‘em all.”

  “That’s a good point.”

  “If ‘n you don’t wanna wash diapers, you’ll hafta set out a chamber pot that little gal can use. Johnny’s the only one of mine that wore diapers, and after he wet ‘em, I just hung ‘em up and let them dry out several times before I washed them.”

  Sarah cringed at that thought. And with this heat, the smell … she shuddered. Next time she went to town she’d buy a small chamber pot.

  Beth had been out of diapers by the time she was two, but she hadn’t been through everything that Claire had. And Sarah had no idea as to the girl’s actual age. She had to be near or past two, because her second set of molars were nearly all in. She tossed the final diaper over the sagging line.

  Sarah didn’t have much when she was young, but she had a loving mother. At least she did until she was ten. Poor Claire would never even know her mother. Or her real name, her birthdate, or her parents’ names. The thought made Sarah’s heart ache for the little waif.

  “Someone’s coming.” Zelma waved her hand toward the house then tossed a final shovelful of dirt onto the fire until a black plume of smoke was all that remained. She lifted her basket of supplies and the pot the soiled diapers had been in. I’m heading back to start supper. You think you could get one of the men to empty these wash pots? Don’t do it yourself.”

  “Sure.” She gazed toward the lone rider heading for the house. “I wonder who that is.”

  She reached for Zelma’s basket. “Let me carry that.”

  “I probably should argue with you, but I’m so worn out that I don’t have the strength.” She handed Sarah the basket.

  “If you’d like to rest, I can start the meal.”

  Zelma smiled. Her eyes looked tired, and she turned her head as she started to yawn. “You’re gonna spoil me. Are you sure you don’t wanna marry one of my boys? I’d sure like to keep you around.”

  As much as she liked Zelma, her stomach clenched at the thought of being stuck for life with one of the Peterson men. They’d all been nice to her, but if they didn’t change their ways, they might never attract a woman. Imagine only changing clothes once a week, especially with the hot, dirty work they did. No wonder such a strong odor clung to them. At least Luke usually cleaned up before coming to eat and changed his clothing daily. Zach, Zeke, and Johnny weren’t bad looking, and they worked hard, but they most certainly weren’t the cleanest men she’d met. The whiff of them at supper, after a long day’s work, nearly stole her appetite a few times. Did they notice that she always tried to sit upwind of them? As grateful as she was to them for building her house, she’d be glad to see the Peterson men leave, but she’d dearly miss Zelma. “I don’t see that happening, but I do wish we were neighbors.”

  “Me, too.” She covered her mouth as she yawned again. “I may have to take a short rest. It seems the older I get, the more I need ‘em.”

  “Go ahead. You work hard and deserve a break. Just tell me what needs doing to start the meal.”

  “Lookie. That stranger’s heading our way.”

  She gazed across the field to see the man had turned his horse away from the house and plodded toward them. Jack stood on the porch, arms crossed over his chest, watching.

  As the rider neared, she tensed. “That’s Dr. Worth. He’s the rude man who treated Claire. What is he doing here?”

  “Maybe he wanted to check on the girl and see how she’s doin’.”

  More than likely, he’d come to make sure she hadn’t mistreated her. She hadn’t been mistaken about the harshness in his voice and the way he’d looked at her and Jack with scorn.

  “Best you see what he wants and get it over with. I think I will lie down, but don’t let me sleep too long.”

  Sarah nodded then glanced down at her damp clothing. She wasn’t in a proper state to receive guests. The doctor had dismounted and walked toward her, his expression softer than she’d expected. Still, she lifted her chin. She wouldn’t allow him to talk down to her again.

  “Good day, ma’am.” He removed his hat and nodded at Zelma as she passed. He turned his gaze on Sarah. “Afternoon, Miss Worley.”

  How was it he knew her name? He certainly hadn’t asked that day they were in his office. “Claire is sleeping.”

  He smiled. “How is she doing?”

  “Better. Her fever is gone, and her appetite is good.”

  “I’m glad to hear that.” He curled the brim of his hat, lifting his gaze to hers, looking away, and then back. �
��I … uh … owe you an apology. I was quite rude to you and your brother the other day. I’ve already apologized to Mr. Jensen.”

  Sarah breathed in a sharp breath. If he’d said the sky was green, she wouldn’t have been more surprised.

  “Have you had any luck finding Claire’s family?”

  “How do you know about them?”

  “I read the article about you in the Daily Oklahoman yesterday. There was a section that mentioned how you found the girl. I thought—” He looked away.

  “I know what you thought.”

  He sighed. “I see all manner of situations, Miss Worley. I’ve had parents bring in sick children who look like they’ve barely had any care. Three-month-old babies who’ve never had a bath. Children with animal bites or burns. I’ve even seen people come into my office with dogs that were healthier than their children.”

  She couldn’t imagine such a thing. “That’s dreadful.”

  He nodded. “Yes, it is. I’m sorry that I thought ill of your parenting skills. I didn’t realize you’d just found the girl. I should have applauded you for bringing her in to get checked instead of thinking ill of you and your brother.”

  Such a humbling apology was the last thing she’d expected from him. Perhaps she’d misjudged him as he had her. “I forgive you, Dr. Worth. I’m sorry for the bad things I thought of you, too.”

  He smiled. “Shall we start over?”

  She shifted Zelma’s basket to her other arm and returned his smile. “That sounds like a good idea.”

  “Would you allow me to carry that for you?” He returned his hat to his head and reached out his hand.

  She passed him the basket and started walking toward their camp. “Thank you.”

  He fell in beside her, leading his horse. “Can I ask what you plan to do with Claire? The newspaper indicated you thought you might keep her.”

  “Yes, that’s exactly what I plan to do.”

  “That’s a big commitment for a woman who isn’t married. Are you aware there’s an orphanage in Oklahoma City? I can contact them on your behalf and see if they have room for the child.”

  Sarah stiffened. She couldn’t believe the gall of the man. First he completely misjudged her, and now he was bordering on meddling. She’d just forgiven him, and already he was trying her patience. He certainly was mistaken if he thought he could talk her into giving up Claire. She paused to face him. “I just told you that I am keeping Claire—unless, of course, her family comes for her.”

  He pursed his lips. “Is your brother planning to live with you?”

  “I hardly think that’s any of your business.”

  He stopped and turned toward her. “I’m only thinking of you and the girl. Raising a child alone won’t be easy, especially for a woman.”

  She lifted her eyebrows. “You think a man would have it easier?”

  He shifted his feet and looked past her for a long moment. “Not necessarily. But it is easier for a man to find work and provide a living than it is for a woman.”

  She crossed her arms. “What makes you think I’m not wealthy?”

  He shrugged, his blue-gray eyes capturing hers. “I doubt a wealthy woman would enter the lottery in hopes of winning a claim on virgin land. More than likely, she would buy a house in an established town or land that already had a house on it.”

  She lifted her chin. “Or maybe she wanted a brand-new house so she could make it exactly what she wanted it to be.” She glanced at her house. The outside was complete, and the windows were in. The men were finishing the inside, and then the Petersons would leave, and she would move in.

  Dr. Worth blew out a loud sigh. “Look, Miss Worley. I didn’t come to argue with you. But you need to understand that orphaned children are not the same as stray animals. You can’t just find one and decide to keep it.”

  “There are no laws against it that I’ve ever heard. Claire is better off with me than in some cold, dark orphanage where she’d be lonesome and scared and maybe mistreated. I take good care of her, and she’s happy here. With God’s help, we’ll get by.” She remembered her awful life at the bordello and how she’d learned at such a young age that men could abuse women. And there were some despicable men who even preyed on young children. At least Claire would be safe with her.

  “I see your mind is made up. I honestly came here to apologize for the way I treated you that day in my office. I had no plans to talk about the girl. It’s just that as a doctor, I’ve had parents bring in children in such a sad state that I didn’t want to return the child. Some people are better off not being a parent.”

  Sarah stiffened. Was he referring to her or one of the parents he was talking about? “I thank you for your concern, but I can assure you, Dr. Worth, that Claire is in good hands. Jack had only found her a few hours before we brought her to you. I had no clothes to change her into and thought it was best to get her checked out by a doctor before I went shopping.”

  They neared the camp, and he handed back the basket. “I’m sorry for upsetting you. It certainly wasn’t my intention.” He tipped his hat and mounted his horse. “Good afternoon, Miss Worley.”

  She nodded a tight-lipped good-bye. She couldn’t figure out the man.

  Jack walked toward her, his gaze curious. “How did your visit with the doctor go?”

  “He doesn’t think I should keep Claire.”

  Jack didn’t say anything. He just watched the doctor ride away. “He apologized to me and asked permission to talk to you.” Jack flicked a humorous glance her way.

  “You should have sent him packing.”

  Jack’s lips twitched. “He must have really irritated you.”

  She punched him in the arm. “Stop laughing. It’s not funny. He doesn’t think I’d make a good mother.”

  “Did he say that?” Jack sobered, turning to face her.

  “Not exactly in those words.”

  “He’s probably just concerned for both you and Claire, as I am. It won’t be easy raising her alone. At some point, you’ll need to get a job or find a way to make an income. I know your father sends you money each month, but one day he won’t be around to do so, and you need to plan ahead.”

  “Don’t you think I’ve been stewing on that very thing?”

  He nodded. “Yes. Knowing you, I’m sure you have. What options have you come up with?”

  She nibbled on her lower lip. Would Mr. Barlow allow her to watch Phillip if she had to bring Claire? “I haven’t settled on anything yet, but I have been tossing around ideas.”

  “That’s good. I met your neighbors to the north. It’s a young couple, Polly and George Endicott. They have a son who looks about three. Maybe she’d be willing to watch Claire if you do manage to find work.”

  “That’s good to know. I should ride over and meet them soon.” Sarah watched a pair of vultures circling in the direction the doctor rode. At least Dr. Worth was in good company.

  Jack cleared his throat, drawing her gaze back to his. “I have to tell you that I don’t like the idea of heading back to Gabe’s ranch and leaving you here.”

  “Luke should be back before long.”

  Jack stared at her for a long moment. “True, but how long do you expect him to stick around unless you’re willing to marry him? You need to put the poor man out of his misery. He loves you, Sarah.”

  “But I don’t know if I love him—not in the way a woman should love the man she marries.”

  “You need to figure that out before it’s too late and you lose him. He’d make a good father for Claire.”

  She swatted at a fly buzzing her face. “I know that. But you’re aware of my past. I’d never seen a loving family until I came to Gabe and Lara’s house. I just don’t know if I trust my own heart. Marriage is for a lifetime, and now I have Claire to be concerned with.”

  He gave her a hug around the shoulders. “I guess it’s time you do some praying, little sister.”

  She nodded. She didn’t tell him that she had started
praying about that very thing but still had no answer. She cared about Luke, but she also cared for Jack—in different ways.

  Claire’s cry alerted her that the girl was awake. She headed into camp and found her sitting on a blanket with Cody next to her, playing with his wooden animals. When Claire saw her, she smiled and lifted her arms. Sarah picked her up and cuddled her, relishing the way the little girl wrapped her arms around her neck and hugged her. Sarah’s heart warmed. Now, this was love.

  Chapter 15

  Carson watched the buzzards circling in the clear blue sky off to his left as he rode back to town. He slapped the dangling reins against his leg, pulling back gently when his mount started to trot. He’d completely botched his apology to Miss Worley. He shouldn’t have mentioned sending the child to the orphanage, but he was just trying to help. Too bad the stubborn woman wouldn’t listen. He sighed.

  In truth, Claire might be better off with her. He’d judged her parenting skills based on the condition Claire had been in the day they found her. Of course the girl would have been in a terrible state if she’d been wandering alone, as the paper had said. Thank the Lord she hadn’t fallen into the river or encountered a wild creature.

  Yes, he was concerned about Claire, but his real problem was that he was attracted to Miss Worley, and that was very disconcerting. She was part Indian, after all, and ever since his father’s death, he’d had trouble not judging every Indian he saw. His father would have been sorely disappointed in his behavior. Carson never understood his father’s love for the red-skinned people, although he’d been happy to work at his father’s side, helping to care for them—at least until that fateful day.