Confessions of a Teen Nanny

by Victoria Ashton

Suddenly, two of the mirrors in the room sprang open.

  “Liz!” bellowed a woman with a deep voice.

  “Oh, no!” Liz whispered. “She’s coming out!”

  “Coming out of where?” Adrienne asked in a panic. She looked around.

  “Her office!” Liz said. “Grab Emma! Get into the kitchen! She hates guests!”

  Adrienne ran into the library, where, mercifully, Oprah was thanking Beyoncé, and Emma was turning off the set.

  “We have to go!” Adrienne cried.

  “Why?” Emma asked, not moving.

  “Dr. Markham-Collins is coming out of her office. Liz says we should scram. We can scoot into the kitchen.”

  “Don’t worry. You’re with me,” Emma said calmly.

  Adrienne stared at the little girl. What was Emma talking about? She grabbed her hand and began to pull her toward the kitchen. Adrienne turned and stopped. There was no escape.

  Blocking their way to the kitchen was Dr. Mayra Markham-Collins.

  She was enormously tall, slightly overweight, and wore a colorful printed wrap dress and a black cashmere shawl over one shoulder, held in place by a glittering brooch. Her hair was wild, dark, and curly, and her face was framed by enormous black glasses.

  “Elizabeth,” the doctor said in her tremendous voice. “All I ask is that I am allowed to work in my office without interruption. All I ask is that you deal with the children for a few hours. All I ask is for a little quiet. But what do you do? You let Heather bang on my door. You let some strangers in to watch television in the next room. You leave my son alone in the dining room, where he could easily choke to death on his soy burger.”

  She took off her glasses and, noticing Adrienne, changed her tone.

  “I’m very concerned, Elizabeth. Are you all right? It seems to me that you must be angry at me, and these careless acts are really a way of expressing your anger at me and at my children. If you’d like to talk about these issues, I’d be happy to send my card to your parents so that we can arrange an appointment to do it.”

  Liz looked up at Dr. Markham-Collins. “I’m very sorry. It’s my fault. My friend Adrienne works in the building and she had a problem, so I tried to help.”

  “That is commendable on your part, Elizabeth,” Dr. Markham-Collins said dryly. “But, as you know, unscheduled playdates for the children are out of the question…. And this interruption, on today of all days. I have just received a call from New York magazine!” Her voice trembled. “I have been named one of the city’s ‘Top Working Moms—Women Who Do It All’!”

  Adrienne saw Liz look down at the floor. She knew her friend well enough to see that Liz was trying her hardest not to burst out laughing.

  Adrienne stared in disbelief. What on earth did Dr. Markham-Collins do to win such an award? She stayed in her office all day while Liz or the housekeeper picked up the kids from school, fed them, and even took care of them on weekends!

  Suddenly, Emma interrupted. “Hello, Dr. Markham-Collins. Congratulations on your article! I’m Emma Warner.” She smiled brightly.

  Dr. Markham-Collins stared down at Emma, noticing her for the first time. The doctor’s face, formerly pinched and annoyed, suddenly beamed with cheery kindness, and she walked over to Emma. “Well, Emma. So nice to see you. How is your mother? She’s building a wing at my hospital! I have been telling her for years that you should come down and play with Heather more.”

  “That’s nice of you,” Emma said, grinning. “But I’m always so busy. Adrienne, I’m sleepy. Can we go home now?”

  “Sure,” Adrienne said.

  “Oh, you don’t have to go!” Dr. Markham-Collins said. “Don’t you think you can stay and play with Heather?”

  “Oh, I’m really tired,” Emma said.

  “All right.” Adrienne jumped into the conversation. “We’d better go, then.”

  “Thank you so much for your visit!” Dr. Markham-Collins said. “I very much look forward to seeing you both again soon. Liz, you were a genius to invite them. Ciao!” With that, Dr. Markham-Collins returned to her hidden mirrored office, and the apartment grew quiet.

  “You’d better go,” Liz said, trying not to laugh.

  “Talk to you later!” Adrienne said as she left. She suddenly realized that, much to her great shock, after Dr. Markham-Collins’s, the Warner home seemed somewhat normal.

  CHAPTER SIX

  who are these people?

  Adrienne and Emma entered the kitchen and were treated to the sight of Mrs. Warner yelling at Tania.

  “Now Tania, how could you! Where did they? Oh! There they are.” Mrs. Warner turned to stare at Emma and Adrienne. Her beautiful face was lined with anger, and her heels clattered across the tiled floor of the kitchen as she approached them.

  “Adriana. If you cannot be trusted to keep my child in the house, why on earth would I consider keeping you in my service?” she said with a sneer. “We only ask that you help us for a short time. It is your first week here, and you give me a heart attack! Where have you been?”

  Adrienne panicked. She decided that the truth was the best way out of the situation.

  “I’m sorry, Mrs. Warner. The television was out, and since Emma did her calculus perfectly and played her Tchaikovsky without mistakes, I promised her that she could watch a little…um…educational TV as a treat.”

  “Emma is not allowed to watch television,” Mrs. Warner said sternly. “Didn’t I tell you that?”

  “Actually,” Adrienne said, “you didn’t tell me that, and I’ll make sure she doesn’t watch any more, but it was educational, and so it wasn’t too bad.” She took a deep breath. “I apologize.”

  “Yes, Mother,” Emma piped up. “It was a special on the development of music through trans-urban locations, with an emphasis on potential cultural and economic development.”

  Mrs. Warner blinked. “Well, that sounds fine,” she said hesitantly, almost scared of Emma. “Anyway, I was on my way out the door, and I saw that Tania was leaving, and you and Emma were nowhere to be found. Never let that happen again. I’m just glad that you’re all okay. So, Adriana, here are your instructions for Emma’s dinner. We’ll be back around twelve, and Emma should be in bed by eight. You can stay in the kitchen, watch TV, help yourself to anything in the fridge. See you later.”

  “But…” Adrienne hesitated.

  “But what?”

  “But I have to be home by eight o’clock. I didn’t know that I’d have to stay late tonight,” Adrienne said, thinking of all of her unfinished homework and her date with Brian. My mom is going to kill me. And Brian is going to be so upset!

  “Adrienne,” Mrs. Warner said, suddenly turning sweet and remembering her name, for once. “We hired you to be on call. Like a doctor. Even when you’re not with us, you’re part of our family. We call on family members to help us when things get crazy around here. Right, Tania?”

  Tania nodded, inching backward toward the kitchen service elevator—it was obvious that she wasn’t going to let herself get sucked into staying.

  “Listen,” Mrs. Warner said, smiling sweetly. “Normally Tania or Kane is here, but tonight they’re both off. I’m so crazed, I just didn’t notice. It shouldn’t happen again, and I’ll add an extra hundred to your envelope to make up for the inconvenience. Good. See you later!” Mrs. Warner picked up her sable-trimmed cashmere shawl and her purse, and hurried toward the elevator in the front hall, blowing them all a kiss.

  “Hokay. I go now,” Tania said cheerfully. “Bye, Miss Emma, Miss Lewis. See you morning time!” She ran to the service elevator and was gone.

  I can’t believe I have to stay here, Adrienne thought. I don’t even know where they went. Adrienne looked at Emma.

  “‘The development of music through trans-urban locations, with an emphasis on potential cultural and economic development’?” she said.

  “I had to think of something,” Emma said. “What’s for dinner?”

  “No clue,” Adrienne said. “Let’s che
ck the fridge and see what’s there. I guess it’s just you and me, now.”

  “It always is,” Emma said.

  After arranging dinner for both of them and setting Emma up in her room with the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle, Adrienne went into the kitchen and called her mother at home to tell her about the unexpected late night.

  “I don’t like the sound of this, Adrienne,” her mom said. “It’s very careless of her, and a big imposition on you. How will you get home? When will you get home?”

  “I have enough money for a taxi,” Adrienne said. “Come on, Mom. This building is as safe as a fort. I shouldn’t be home too late. I’ll call you when I’m leaving. The doorman will put me in a taxi.”

  “All right, Adrienne, but I’m not happy about this. Make sure you do your homework after Emma goes to sleep. See you later,” her mother said, and hung up.

  Now I have got to call Brian. She picked up her cell phone and dialed.

  “Yo!” Brian said. “I’m finishing up at school. You almost done?”

  Adrienne sighed. “Not really. Mr. and Mrs. Warner went out, and I have no idea when they’ll be back. I’ve got to cancel.”

  “That bites! I was looking forward to the pizza,” he said. “Hey!” he said suddenly. “Why don’t I come over? Your kid goes to sleep soon, right? When she’s out, call me and I’ll come over and hang until around ten. Then I’ll go home, and it’ll be cool.”

  “That’s a great idea!” Adrienne said. “It’s at 841 Fifth Avenue. Just ask for the Warners’ apartment. Bring some ice cream, too. I’ll call Liz. We’ll make it a party.”

  “You’re on. See you soon!” He hung up.

  Adrienne called Liz. “So, I’m shafted, but I have an idea.”

  “What’s up?”

  “Mrs. Warner stuck me with Emma at the last minute. I was supposed to have a date with Brian.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  Adrienne told her the plan.

  Liz arrived after she had put Heather and David to bed and after Dr. M-C had emerged from her office hideaway.

  “Come on, let’s set up the counter!” Adrienne said.

  The girls ransacked the fridge, pulling out the chocolate sauces and preserves they would need for sundaes. Going into the butler’s pantry, they pulled out expensive crystal glasses and dozens of pieces of Tiffany silver to eat with. Finally, they set the counter with votives and turned on the stereo to a cool station.

  “We should do catering together,” Liz said. “This looks great!”

  The buzzer rang, Adrienne went downstairs to sign Brian in, and soon the three of them were sitting at the counter eating.

  “This apartment is awesome!” Brian said, happily digging in.

  Liz and Adrienne looked at each other and laughed.

  “Brian,” Adrienne giggled, “this isn’t the apartment—this is the kitchen!”

  “You’re kidding me,” he said, looking around again. “Who has a living room and a dining room in their kitchen?”

  “Come with me,” Adrienne said, grabbing his hand. Soon, she and Liz were giving him the tour of the apartment, showing him all the rooms, the art, and the amazing things.

  “I can’t believe this place,” he said. “Oh, man—check it out! Look at this bar!” He walked over to it and flicked a switch. Slowly, hidden lights came on that lit up all the bottles from below. It was like a bar at a club, with hundreds of colorful bottles.

  “What do you say I make us some Cosmos?”

  “No way,” Adrienne said, laughing.

  “I’d love a Cosmo,” Liz said, sitting on the barstool. “My day was brutal.”

  Adrienne hesitated. She drank, sure, but only at parties where other kids brought beer. She had even nipped a bit from her parents one night when Liz slept over, carefully topping off the bottle with water. She wondered if it was stealing to drink the Warners’ liquor? There was so much of it. They’d never miss it. Why not? she thought. “Pour me one, too,” she said, and sat on the stool next to Liz.

  Amazingly, Brian knew what he was doing. He expertly mixed the liquor in a shaker, and poured out two icy Cosmos into the crystal martini glasses. “Cheers!” he said.

  “Wow! I thought I knew everything about you. Who knew you were a bartender, too?” Adrienne said, smiling. She loved that Brian was always full of surprises. “Don’t you want one?”

  “Nah,” he said. “Cosmos are for girls. I’ll have a beer.” He pulled one from a refrigerator hidden behind the counter.

  Adrienne sipped the icy drink carefully. She knew there was alcohol in it—she’d seen Brian pour in a lot—yet she couldn’t really taste it. The drink was deliciously sweet. She glanced at Liz, who was taking big gulps. Liz had obviously had Cosmos before—probably with her Pheasant-Berkeley friends.

  The three drank their drinks while wandering around the apartment, laughing and checking things out. Soon, Adrienne realized she was getting drunk. I feel great! she thought. Warm and fuzzy. The apartment suddenly seemed hot to her.

  “Well, I should probably go,” Liz said. “You two should have a little time alone, and that Cosmo hit me like a subway car.”

  “When do you get to leave?” Brian asked Adrienne, smiling lazily and moving closer to her as the three of them entered the hall.

  “As soon as the Warners get back,” she said, hesitating, because after the Cosmo, the words didn’t come as easily as they should have.

  Suddenly, the elevator door opened and out spilled two guys Adrienne didn’t recognize—and Cameron.

  “Who the hell are you?” one of the guys asked.

  Adrienne stared in horror. She had no idea who he was.

  “Cam!” he cried. “What’s up here? Who are these people?” He stepped into the hall and moved toward Adrienne. Brian stepped in front of her.

  Liz looked at the other guy who had come out of the elevator. Without a doubt, he was the hottest guy she had ever seen. His dark brown hair fell into his soft blue eyes. He had broad shoulders and a chest she could just imagine lying her head against. He’s so gorgeous, she thought.

  Cameron exited the elevator in a slightly unsteady fashion. “Hey!” she said, a beautiful smile spreading across her face. “Excellent! The servants are partying!” She stumbled into the hall and stared at Liz. “I know you! You’re a P-B girl! Woooooo!” she shrieked, and held up her arms, rock-style.

  Adrienne and Liz looked at each other, instantly sober.

  “No, seriously. I’m totally kidding, I didn’t really mean the servant crack,” Cameron said, throwing her arms around Brian. “Guys, this is Liz, who goes to school with me, and this is Adrienne, who has the misfortune of being my troll half sister’s nanny.”

  Adrienne heaved a sign of relief. Cameron was obviously cool with finding them there.

  Cameron looked unsteadily at Brian. “Who are you?” she asked. “Don’t know you at all!” She looked at Adrienne. “Is he yours?” she asked.

  “He is,” Adrienne confirmed. “He came to hang out after Emma went to sleep.” Liz gave her a glare of warning, which Adrienne ignored.

  “The employer is away, so the nanny will play,” Cameron teased, glancing meaningfully at Brian. “Hey, don’t worry, it’s cool, Adriana!” She burst out laughing at her own joke. Then she stumbled into the living room. Everyone followed.

  “Cam, stop being a drunken pain and introduce me to these ladies,” said the guy who came in first.

  Cameron stood up straight and did an imitation of an Upper East Side hostess. “Well, Mr. Graydon Warner, of the Texas Warners, please meet Miss Adrienne Lewis, of the nanny Lewises, and her friend Miss Elizabeth Something, of the Pheasant-Berkeley Somethings.”

  “He’s your brother?” Adrienne asked.

  “Half brother,” she responded, dropping her coat and bag on the floor by the bar. “Not good-looking enough to be my real brother. Oooh, were you guys drinking Cosmos? Can you make them? How clever of you. I’d love one!” she said, linking her
arm through Brian’s. “You obviously know where the bar is! Make us up a pitcher!” Cameron tottered off to the living room, dragging a bewildered Brian with her.

  “So, I’m Graydon Warner,” the guy said, coming closer to Adrienne. He had dark hair, chiseled features, and wore an expensive cashmere blazer over his shirt and jeans. He was good looking, but something about him seemed too slick, too spoiled. “I go to Columbia. Oh yeah, this is my friend, Parker Devlin. Parker and I went to Dudley Academy together. He’s a senior there.”

  Liz gulped. Parker Devlin—of course. Parker was legendary. She had never met Parker before, but she had heard of him. Every private school girl in Manhattan knew about Parker. He dated all the coolest and wealthiest girls. His father was a media mogul, owning a few of the city’s newspapers and magazines, and even a cable TV station. Figures that Parker was gorgeous, too.

  “Hi. I’m Liz. I go to school with Cam,” she said, daring to use Cameron Warner’s nickname from school.

  “Cool,” Parker said. “What are you guys doing here?”

  “We were just hanging out,” she said. “Adrienne is a genius and tutors Cam’s sister, Emma. We were just waiting for the Warners to return from their benefit so that we all could go home.”

  “That’s cool,” he said again, looking at her with interest as the others followed Cameron into the living room to the bar. “Do I know you?”

  “I don’t think so,” she said, smiling at him and tilting her head as if she were trying to remember him from somewhere. A piece of her hair fell in her face. Oh, that is smooth, she thought. Hair in the mouth. Nice.

  Parker reached forward and gently brushed her hair behind her ear.” You’re too pretty for me to forget,” he said smoothly, “so I know this is the first time I’ve met you.” Liz caught her breath and quickly searched her brain for the appropriate flirty reply. At that moment, Cameron came over with a cocktail shaker in her hand.

  Ugh! Liz thought. I can’t believe she’s interrupting now!

  “Hey! Come into the living room! Adrienne’s guy is a wizard with the bottle. He’s mixing up everything! Liz, come on in! It’s a party—I’m calling friends!”