Who Wants That Perfect Love Story Anyway 3: The FAM (Who Wants That Perfect Story Anyway)

by Natavia

  I put a big spoon in the carton and stuck it into my mouth. I closed my eyes and moaned and she looked disgusted.

  “You are going to end up three hundred pounds if you are not there already!” she said. She was standing there with her hair in a high bun. Her shirt was cut in half showing off her four-pack. She had on a pair of leggings that showed off her slim and toned athletic shape. I knew she was disgusted by my appearance and she made it obvious. Every time I ate something, she frowned her nose up and she was always counting my calories.

  I slammed my spoon down. “Look here, bitch! Do I look like I give a fuck about that? You keep coming at me sideways, I will beat your fucking ass! I’m about sick of you! And I am tired of you staring at my damn FIANCÉ!” I waved my ring hand in her face. “That’s right, bitch! My fucking FIANCÉ that you can’t have!” I told her.

  Royal came into the kitchen shirtless showing off his thick-muscled, sweaty chest. He looked at me like I was a child misbehaving.

  “What the hell are you in here yelling for?” he asked me.

  “This bitch is pissing me off! She keeps telling me to lay off this and that like I’m a fucking child!” I snapped.

  “Cam, it’s not healthy for the baby and the doctor even told you that back in Cuba!” he said. That was it. I went off and threw my ice cream at him. You don’t tell a pregnant, fat bitch that she can’t eat cookie dough ice cream! We were about to go to war up in this bitch!

  “I’M SICK OF IT!” I screamed. I must have gotten too worked up because a pain shot through my back causing me to double over. Royal rushed over to me and Alita had a smirk on her face.

  “Baby, are you okay?” he asked with worry in his eyes. I snatched away from him.

  “Leave me the hell alone!” Another pain shot through me and I fell over onto the floor.

  “I think she’s going into labor!” Alita said.

  “Bitch, shut the fuck up! Just get the fuck out of my house!” I screamed.

  “OH GOD IT HURTS!” I started crying. Royal’s hand was trembling as he tried to calm me down. He was nervous but I didn’t care. I curse him and Alita out as I was still in pain.

  “Alita, call 9-1-1!” he said.

  I lay in my hospital bed angry, sad, mad, everything. It was Braxton hicks, a false alarm. Royal sat beside my bed looking at me with pleading eyes. I didn’t have shit to say to him. Alita was coming between us and he couldn’t realize it. She might not flirt with him in my face but it was a woman’s intuition. I knew she wanted him and he couldn’t even see it. I could tell by the way she looked at him. This bitch came all the way from Cuba to take care of him. I understand that she was paid to do it but I had a feeling the bitch would’ve done it for free. I didn’t trust her in my house or around my family.

  “Come on, shorty, talk to me! What did I do?” he asked rubbing my stomach.

  “Get the hell out! Do that!” I yelled at him again.

  “Fuck no! I’m not going no damn where! You want to be mad, fine! I won’t say shit else to you but I’m not fucking leaving! That’s my fucking son, too!” he responded with the same attitude.

  “Have that bitch out of my house when I leave here!” I told him.

  “For the last fucking time, NO! What have she done, Cam? Besides show concern for your health? You acting like a damn child! I agree with her! You need to lay off that bullshit you been eating! Your blood-pressure is high as fuck! Why can’t you eat a salad or something?” he asked.

  “You sound just like him, you know that?”

  “Come again?” he leaned over so he could hear me.

  “You sound like Koran! Now all of a sudden you want me to eat a fucking salad. What happened to, ‘Come on, shorty, eat whatever you like?’ You didn’t start that shit up until that skinny bitch started prancing around showing off her toned stomach!” I spat.

  “Yo, do you hear yourself? I’m concerned because you are pregnant with my fucking son! I’m concerned about your health right about now! If you loved yourself you wouldn’t be doing shit that makes your fucking blood-pressure high! Fuck me though, right? Fuck our son, right? Fuck Parker and anybody else who cares for you, right? You can have a fucking stroke if you continue this shit! Grow the fuck up, Cam! Everything is not always about your fucking weight! I been in love with you for years and not once have I looked at that. I love your body, Cam, always have but you blowing this shit out of proportion! You might kill yourself, even our son, if you keep this shit up!” he yelled. Ohhhh, I done pissed him off now.

  “Do you think Alita is pretty?” I asked ignoring everything he just said to me.

  “What type of question is that?” he asked.

  “Just answer it!” I snapped.

  “Yes, Cam, she is pretty! But do I look at her like that? Fuck no! I love your juicy ass! My dick too big to be going around fucking these skinny-ass broads. I need something that I can hold onto while I’m putting in that work, ya’ feel me?” he asked with that sexy smirk and, just like that, I softened up.

  “I’m sorry, boo! From now on I can eat a little better. It won’t hurt nothing since I have less than four weeks to go,” I said and he kissed me.

  “I know what you need!” he said.

  “What’s that?”

  “Some DNT in your life!” he chuckled.

  “What’s DNT?” I asked.

  “Dick and tongue!” The sound of that made my pussy throb. I hadn’t had sex since the morning Royal got shot and that was months ago.

  “Baby, you not ready for all of this!” I said. He grabbed my hand and ran it down his thick, long shaft. “You feel that shit, shorty? As, soon as they release you, a nigga putting in that work! So, you tell your mother to bring Parker home later on because we are going to be a while!” he bragged.

  Him working out with Alita’s help had improved his body. He still limped sometimes but he must be feeling better if he thought we could have sex. Maybe I should lay off and just let her do her job. Maybe it’s just me being insecure because there is a slim, beautiful woman around my man more than me.

  “Why did you leave out the house in your tank-top and gym shorts?” I asked.

  “Come on, Cam! The ambulance came quick and I didn’t have time to put on all my clothes,” he laughed. I rolled my eyes.

  “You know that nurse that was in here ten minutes ago was looking at your dick swinging in them shorts right?” I asked.

  “How do you know?” he asked me.

  “Because I was looking at that big motherfucker, too!” I told him then he laughed.

  He leaned down and kissed my lips, slipping his tongue into my mouth. I couldn’t wait till we got home because I was long overdue for some good stroking.

  Corey

  I walked into “Afro Cuts” to get a clean line-up. I had Rashaad and Raymond with me. They been in Philly with their mother’s sister for a month and just came back today. It was male bonding time. I kind of missed their weird asses.

  I dapped my nigga, Big Dee, up. He been cutting my hair since I was a youngin.’ Although, Royal owned a few small barbershops, I came here because he knew how I like it. I would fuck a nigga up if they fucked my line-up, up.

  “What’s good, little niggas?” he asked slapping hands with Rashaad and Raymond.

  I let Raymond go first. Tee-Tee needed to get that little nigga checked out. He barely spoke. He was too fucking quiet. He was a smart-ass kid but he wouldn’t talk to you unless you talked to him.

  The door chimed and it was that nigga Mook and a couple other niggas that was in his so-called rap group, walked in. He looked at me and smirked. I felt like beating the bitch out of him.

  “What’s up, nigga?” The other barber, Shy, asked him.

  “Nothing much, nigga! Trying to look slick for this little chocolate-ass bitch I’m taking out tonight!” he told him. His hype men laughed all loud and shit. I bit the inside of my cheek because this bitch nigga was trying to be noticed.

  “Oh, word? What little mama looks
like?” Shy asked him, putting the cape around his neck.

  “She’s got smooth, dark skin, a phat ass and she be rocking these bad ass, short haircuts. Her attitude is feisty as fuck and she hella short; she’s fun-size,” he bragged.

  “She sounds like my sister!” Rashaad whispered to me.

  “You hitting that, aren’t you?” Shy asked Mook.

  “Hell yes, I’m hitting that! She stay craving the dick! One night, after my concert, right? I takes her back to the tellie, bent that round, chocolate ass over the sink and fucked the shit out of her!" he laughed.

  It was Rashaad’s turn to get a haircut. Raymond had the little Rich Homie Quan cut. He sat down in his chair and played his Nintendo DS and kept quiet. I needed to get the fuck out of there before I ended up bodying Mook bitch ass. This nigga was hating on some bitch shit! We never ran in the same circle with his old rapping ass! Nigga probably like thirty and was still throwing rap shows like some young-ass nigga.

  He just did the unthinkable and called Tee-Tee ass then had her on speaker phone. He was trying to bitch me because he had a few niggas with him, but it’s all good. There was nothing bitch about me.

  “What’s good, shorty?” he asked.

  “What the fuck you want, nigga? I keep telling your bitch ass to leave me the fuck alone!” she yelled. I could hear Coren cooing in the background.

  “When you going to let me dig in those guts again?” he asked.

  “I told your ass last week that was the last time! I don’t want your bitch ass!” she snapped.

  “Aye, nigga! Who the fuck you talking to?” Raymond asked. I knew that little nigga was quiet for a reason, unlike his punk ass older brother. He had a little heart in him. I probably should watch my ass around him though because he sounded just like me.

  “Where the fuck are you? Is that my little brother?” Tee-Tee asked.

  “Yup!” Mook said smiling. Tee-Tee hung up. She knew they were with me. But little did she know I knew everything now.

  “Ay, yo you better get that little crazy-looking motherfucker and put his ass on a leash!” Mook told me.

  “Y’all go get in the truck!” I told them. Rashaad jumped up from his chair and practically ran to the door with his fat, bitch ass. Raymond didn’t budge, his little fist was balled up and his chest was poked out. I was like a proud father and smiled. That little nigga was a fucking goon already!

  “Raymond, go in the truck with your brother, now!” I told him, but he still wouldn’t budge.

  “Listen to your little brother, nigga!” Mook cracked slick. I lost it and punched that nigga right in his face. He never saw it coming. He fell out the chair; I started stomping the nigga out. One of his niggas caught me off guard and I stumbled. I caught my balance and gave him a serious two-piece combo, knocking him into the chair. The third one tried putting me in a sleep-hold but Raymond started swinging on him. Mook bitch ass hit Raymond so hard he flew across the room. I rammed the nigga into the mirror, hitting the back of his head. Shy and Big Dee tried to break it up but it was three niggas trying to beat my ass. Raymond picked up one of those old school razors and started cutting them niggas. This little nigga was crazy! Shy grabbed Raymond and I punched him in the face. Fuck all those niggas!

  “Freeze! Every fucking body down, now!” The cops came in with their guns drawn. I took the razor Raymond had in his hand. He was a juvenile so he wouldn’t get in much trouble but I was taking the blame for all this shit just in case these fuck niggas snitched on me. On everything I loved, I was murdering those niggas.

  They locked all of us up except for Raymond. I told Big Dee to keep an eye out for Rashaad and Raymond until someone picked them up.

  I was in the back of the police car. Wasn’t that something? With all the shit I had done in my past, I was going to jail for fighting over a bitch!

  They pulled off into the woods and that’s when I lost it.

  “What the fuck y’all ready do to me? Rodney King my ass?” I asked. A nigga in the woods with two white motherfuckers wasn’t normal! I hoped they just shot my ass. I wasn’t trying to be hanging from a tree like a Christmas ornament!

  They didn’t answer me and I started kicking the back of the seats and windows. I was not going down without a fight, fuck that! We were riding down a long dirt road and I really start going off, kicking the windows.

  “Would you calm the fuck down?” The Danny DeVito one said to me from the passenger seat. As they got closer, I spotted Royal’s Mercedes truck. The first thing that came to mind was they did something to him.

  “What the fuck y’all do to my brother?” I yelled.

  They came to a stop then got out. Royal stepped out of his truck. They pulled me out then un-cuffed me.

  Royal slightly limped over giving them a stack a piece.

  “Good looking out!” He told them, and just like that, they were gone.

  “Damn, nigga, it’s like that?” I asked, getting into his truck.

  “Yeah it’s like that! Rashaad little bitch ass called them, giving them your name. They called me on my burn-out phone telling me that they got a call about you fighting. I paid them and it never happened!” he said, lighting a blunt.

  “What about the other officers that saw me get into the car? Don’t you think they are going to want to know where I’m at?” I fussed. I didn’t want them motherfuckers to think I got away.

  “Nigga, all the pigs that came there are dirty! They didn’t see shit, neither! You know I can’t have my lil’ man sitting in jail! I don’t care how small the situation is,” he said, turning up the radio. That was one, slick-ass nigga!

  We pulled up to Royal Palace and I got out. I needed a drink and this was a laid back place to have one. It was still early, only four o’clock in the afternoon. There were a few strippers on stage. But the crowd was very small with older-looking niggas. They probably wanted to see some titties and ass before they went home to their wives and kids.

  “So, what’s up? Talk to your big brother? We haven’t had a chance to chill since I been home,” Royal said, sipping his favorite D’ussé.

  “Mannnn, so much shit done happened these past few months. Myla ugly ass pregnant, Tee-Tee and I almost killed each other after she found out. She fucking with that whack-ass nigga, Mook, behind my back. The nigga calls her up right in my face clowning my black ass! He had her on speakerphone and all that. I had to stomp his ass and his niggas tried jumping me. She fucked the nigga again! I told myself I was going to let her do her but I don’t know if I can. I fucked up with that Myla chick, though. I have her staying in my other crib. I bought her a Lexus and I put money in her account every week!” I said, drinking my Ciroc straight.

  “Damn yo, you got it bad! But check this out, that shit with you and Tee-Tee needs to come to an end if y’all keep going through this. She only fucked that nigga Mook to get back at you. You are ready to have a baby by another broad! That right there is the relationship-breaker. Some women can accept it and even be cordial with the other baby mama. But Tee-Tee not even the type of chick to be doing that shit. I hate to tell you this, but you need to let her go, my nigga. That baby is going to always come between y’all. The fussing and fighting is only going to get worse. Oh, and those two niggas that jumped you are getting handled right now as we speak. I’m going to let Mook walk so you can take care of him when you ready!” he said.

  I nodded because I was fucking Mook up when I saw him again!

  “I can’t leave wifey alone, though! I love her too much!” I told him.

  “Well, then fight for her! Prove to her that she won’t have shit to worry about with this Myla chick. But, Myla is running game on you. I don’t even know the broad and I can see that. All that shit I heard about her losing her job and all that, is bullshit! You need to set some ground rules with that chicken head! You got to let her know you are not her money train. The baby is not even here and you kicking out money for her personal use. I understand you feel that’s what a father should do,
but technically, you don’t have to do shit for her until the baby gets here! If you do decide to still take care of her, put her ass on a budget. She only needs money for food, gas, and household bills, nothing else! You can’t be taking care of a bitch like she’s your wife! Then she’s going to start trying to play the role as one, and that’s just going to make it even harder for you and Tee-Tee!” he schooled me.

  “I realize that,” I said.

  “It’s something I want to talk to you about and I don’t want no shit from you, neither!” Royal scolded me.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Mama and Leodonis been secretly seeing each other and he just recently proposed to her. They are getting married at the end of next year. She was afraid to tell you because she knows your ass ain’t wrapped too tight!” Royal told me.