The Big Bad

by Phil Beloin Jr.

  "And Eddie is so good to me. He loves me, but he can’t love me if you know what I mean."

  "I think so."

  "He was in the army, says he got gassed in a scud attack back in the day. Now he can’t make love or take a crap.”

  "They got meds for both of them problems," I said.

  "He’s tried everything, Nick. Nothing works. But he isn’t bitter, or rather not too bitter, and he’s always treated me like a queen—like the father I never had because mine was too busy cheating people out of their money to be there for me."

  "Yea, my dad was a piece of work, too."

  "What was your father like?"

  "A drinker. A womanizer. A control freak. Things I can’t stand. He treated me and my mom like garbage cans."

  "I’m sorry to hear that, Nick."

  "It’s long over. The cancer started in his liver then got into the bones, moving up the spine, feeding on all that delicious marrow."

  "He must of suffered."

  "A lot, from what they told me."

  I dropped my smoldering butt into my beer bottle. She handed me hers and I did the same.

  "Well, you going to tell me what it’s like or what?" I said.

  She looked in my eyes, drawing me closer. "I’m at a disadvantage here," she said.

  "How so?" I said, smiling.

  "You got a good smile, Nick. You don’t do it enough."

  "Don’t change the subject."

  "I wasn’t. Just being complimentary."

  "Come on, spill it, baby."

  "I will, but first you have to tell me the kinkiest thing you ever did."

  "No way."

  "That’s fair, isn’t it?"

  "I just want to know what it’s like for you."

  "It’s called disclosure."

  "I don’t care what it’s called."

  "What?" She said, leaning in closer to me, our shoulders touching. "You embarrassed or something?"

  Maybe I was, but something made me want to share it with her. "I could be."

  She folded her arms and leaned away from me. "You first."

  "Okay. If you really want to know."

  "Hell yea," she said. "I can’t wait actually."

  "It wasn’t even that long age," I replied. "Right before I met you."

  "A recent kink, so to speak."

  "Yea."

  "I bet it’s real nasty."

  "Why?"

  "You’re hesitating like it might freak me out."

  "Because it still freaks me out," I said.

  "Oh, this is gonna be good."

  "It’s kind of a long story," I said, wondering where I should begin. "I may leave a few things out."

  "Come on, spill it, baby," she replied, her smile large and wide.

  "All right, fine," I said. "Are you ready?"

  "I was born ready, Nick."

  "I had sex with someone who was dead."

  "Did you love her?" she said.

  "I hardly knew her."

  "A casual sort of thing then?"

  "Exactly. Someone I had picked up."

  "So you weren’t patrolling the graveyards and morgue looking for a good time?"

  "If only it were that simple."

  "How did it happen?"

  "I drank too much that evening."

  "Hard to believe that detail."

  "I don’t remember much of the night before. I woke up and they were in my bedroom..."

  "They?"

  "There were two of them, but I only had sex with one of them."

  "That makes this tale so much better, Nick."

  "You wanted to know."

  "Yes, go on. Sorry to interrupt."

  "So I wake up, really hungover, almost as if my mind is disconnected from my body. Do you know what I mean?"

  "Sort of an out of body experience?"

  "Something like that, I guess. It had never happened to me before. So I feel her lying next to me, and it just happens."

  "Wow."

  "At first I wasn’t sure if I had killed them either, somehow."

  "Both dead?"

  "But I only slept with one of them."

  "You said that already."

  "Right. Later I found out what killed them."

  "Which was?"

  "Forget that. I’ve told you enough."

  "What did it feel like being with a dead woman?"

  "You trying to be a social worker now?”

  "Answer please."

  "I can’t put it into words."

  "Try to."

  "You ready for this?"

  "More than ready. I’m aching."

  "I don’t remember ever having a more powerful orgasm."

  She put a hand on my thigh. "Jesus, Nickie, we’re perfect for each other."

  I put my hand on hers. "Do you think?"

  "I know it."

  "Now tell me about the shoot," I said as my groin rumbled around.

  "Mine turn, huh?"

  "Now I’m aching."

  "I can see that," she said glancing at my lap.

  "What made you do it in the first place?"

  “I don’t want to simplify.”

  “Simplify all you want.”

  "I just like being naked.”

  "With what you got, no blame here.”

  "I know what I got packs in the crowd.”

  "Standing room only.”

  “Right,” she said. “Before Irv got out of the stalag, I needed a job. Through a friend of a friend…”

  “Of a friend,” I said.

  “I found Eddie. He taught me how to pose, how to be comfortable in front of the camera. Then I was ready to take my clothes off and the pictures progressed from there.”

  “You ever do them with anyone else?”

  “You mean hard-core stuff, screwing and money shots?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Nope, just me and myself and toys.”

  "Do you ever get off?"

  "But of course. Why do you think I do it?"

  "I thought… for the money."

  "That’s ancillary, you dummy." She stood up. "I need a shower. I feel used up."

  "I’ll join you."

  "Not yet.”

  "You can’t leave me like this—not again."

  "We’ll go for a drive after. Somewhere quiet."

  And with that, she went down the hall and into the bathroom.

  2 6

  Kareem showed them into the office, an unshaven guy with hair stretching beyond his tailbone and a heavy set woman with hair similar to her son’s. They smelled like ashtrays, Irv thought, and dressed the same, wearing long boots and faded jeans, Tom Boy peeling off black half-gloves and a leather jacket to reveal two shoulder holsters, a pistol under each armpit. Big Mama left her leather on, Irv not caring what fucking shit she packed.

  He had used this team before when Nick couldn’t be spared, the last time to take care of the chauffeur who had been dipping into his safe, the funds he had thought Nick was stealing. That was more than three years ago and these two creatures—yeah, they’re definitely not human, Irv thought—hadn’t aged a bit.

  The shooters were taking their places in the Gargoyle chairs. Irv had a box on his desk filled with Pam’s slides, and for the last half hour or so while he sat waiting, he had been perusing them. He came up with this conclusion: Pam was so damn sexy, had such an explosive body, and yet she wouldn’t even go down on him. Had that been too much to ask? For a little taste of her mouth now and then? Well, man, based on these pictures of her doing all sorts of despicable acts to herself, apparently so. Irv couldn’t fathom it. Didn’t he turn Pam’s dials? Me, Irv thought, me, damn it, with a python in my pants.

  He tossed a slide sheet across his desk at Tom Boy. "Take a look at that."

  Tom Boy scanned the sheet with his burrowed eyes, didn’t react; he just handed the pictures over to his mother.

  "I need it done right away," Irv said. "Kill everyone with her, the photographer, anyone helping with the shoot."<
br />
  Big Mama dropped the slide sheet back on the desk. "Disgusting," she said. "I loathe porn. Ain’t that so Tom Boy?”

  Irv thought Tom Boy grunted.

  "Based on recent information," Irv said. "They’re taking more photos as we speak."

  Irv stood up and hobbled over to his autographed picture. He swung the frame away from the wall and twisted the knob on the safe. He took out a roll of bills and came back to the desk, dropping the money in front of Tom Boy.

  "Ten in full," Irv said, "when the job is complete."

  "Where are they?" Tom Boy said with his scratchy voice.

  It had taken Irv only a few minutes to figure it out. He had played Pam’s message three times while Kareem and Michelle were gathering up all of her slides. One thing Pam didn’t know about him—Irv had the memory of an elephant—and he had recalled during their numerous prison chats, her mentioning a cabin, up on this hill above Antler Lake, a place one of her parents owned and she had enjoyed going to as a girl. That had to be the place she was referring to in her voice mail. A quick look at a map and Irv had located the body of water in the western hills of Stitchfield County.

  After Irv told them all this, Tom Boy got to his feet. "We’ll be back for our money tonight," he said.

  He walked out with his mother behind him.

  Now Irv needed to reign in Nick before the guy did something rash. But he had to find him first. Irv wondered if Nick had taken off, figuring he was screwed. Only one way to find out. Send Michelle and Kareem onto the street, see what they could learn.

  If they couldn’t find Nick soon, the police would be getting that tape before Friday.

  2 7

  She came out of the shower in a different pair of cutoffs, pink ones, and a similar colored bikini top, her breasts resting heavy in the material. Her hair was tied in some wavy fashion and a pair of sunglasses rested on the crown of her head.

  "Let’s go," she said heading for the back door.

  "What about the dog out there?"

  "Oh, that was Eddie’s idea to let him loose. He figured you’d wanna take a look see. But I made Eddie tie Buck back up."

  "Now you’re talking girl."

  "Bring some beer."

  "I’m way ahead of you, baby," I said.

  The cooler was sitting by the fridge. I had dropped a few cans in there while she was showering. We went outside. The temperature had run up a few more degrees and the humidity had followed right along. The boys were still in the barn, bantering back and forth on how to strike the set. Pam was taking the doors off her convertible, lifting them off their hooks as easy as that, and leaving them on the ground.

  "I thought we’d take the Delta," I said.

  "What? That piece of shit?"

  "Watch it."

  "Does the top come down?"

  "Forget it."

  "Help me with this, will you?"

  She rolled up the back window, buttoning it to the underside of the roof while I unzipped and then pulled out the side windows. The top folded into a crumpled canvass pile onto the tailgate. She hopped in the passenger seat, and I put the cooler in back where the seat would have been if it hadn’t been removed.

  She handed me the keys. "You drive," she said.

  I hadn’t been behind a standard since I don’t know when. I had had the Beast forever. I put the clutch in and turned the engine over.

  "We in four-wheel drive?"

  She leaned in close, pointing to the dash. "See the part-time light that’s on?"

  "Uh-huh."

  "That doesn’t mean my work schedule. It’s the four-wheel drive indicator. Now move this thing," she said, sliding the glasses over her eyes.

  I slid the stick in first, let the clutch out and went for the gas. We bucked forward in a stall.

  Pam let out a huge laugh. "You’re a goofball, Nick!"

  "It’s been a while," I said.

  "Want me to drive?"

  "I can do it," I replied. "Besides, you’ve been working hard today."

  "So true."

  "And you need to take it easy."

  "Yea, but I don’t want to be snacking on no safety glass either."

  I got the motor going, riding the clutch as I circled on the grass and headed down the driveway. In the rearview mirror, I caught Eddie coming out of the barn, watching us descend the hill.

  "Where to?" I said.

  "Just move this crate, Nick."

  I swung around the log blocking the driveway and headed down the road. The vehicle’s idea of absorbing the bumps was to send every one through our bones. If the roof was up, my head would have pounded through it. The windshield pushed most of the branches over us, though some came in through the door gaps, attacking my arms and legs. Other limbs snapped off with large cracks and pops. But at least, some air streamed in, cooling us down.

  Pam placed a hand on my thigh without looking at me. If I hadn’t needed to keep both hands on the wheel, I would have returned the gesture. She leaned back against the headrest looking straight up.

  "I love watching the trees go by like this."

  "This fucking road sucks."

  "Catching bits of the sky in between."

  "Can’t you call your executor and have this thing paved?"

  "Naa, it keeps people away."

  I left it in first gear, moving my feet between the three pedals, trying to keep the idle right and not stall. We bounced down the road, Pam squeezing my thigh through each rut. She looked relaxed, absorbing the sights of the woods. The breeze pushed at some of the free strands of her hair and she waved them from her face.

  "We going into town or what?" I asked.

  "There is no town around here, Nick."

  "You know what I mean."

  "We better not," she said. "Eddie doesn’t want to call attention to ourselves."

  "What about a motel?"

  "Ain’t any around these parts." She shot up in her seat. "Turn right up here."

  I braked to a stop on a steep incline, looking left and right, the woods covering everything. "Where?"

  "There’s a trail through the trees."

  "Where?" I said again.

  "You’re in a four-wheel drive automobile, Nick."

  "So?"

  "So it’s called off-roading."

  "The road were on is off-roading."

  "I think there’s a quiet little spot to park."

  "We’ll tip over getting there."

  "Then we’ll die together," she said.

  "You’re nuts."

  "Probably. Put it in four-wheel low."

  "What’s that?"

  She showed me how to engage the gear. The motor revved high and I turned off, half expecting to flip and roll down the hill, or get the car wedged between either rocks or trees. But none of that happened. We stuck to the hill like we were a tree or a rock. Not too far in, I saw a trail wider than a footpath beaten into ground. I kept the left side tires on that stretch and got good traction. I blasted through a thin sprouting of hemlocks and the woods opened up, patches of sunlight hitting a section of wild grass and leafy ferns, forming a small field surrounded by trees and shrubs. I drove into the middle of the clearing and killed the engine.

  "Yep, this is the spot I was thinking of," she said. "This was here when I was a kid. Thought it might have been overgrown by now."

  "Not too shabby."

  "I agree."

  "Let’s have some beer," I said.

  "Great, I could use one."

  The sun was kicking hot and the beer pretty cold.

  "I’m gonna even out my tan," she said, working out her bikini top.

  Her boobs didn’t droop, the nipples small and peach colored. She reclined the seat, closing her eyes behind the sunglasses.

  I finished my drink, unable to take my eyes off her.

  She put her hands underneath her breasts. "You like them?" she asked, smiling.

  "Yeah, baby."

  "Then kiss me."

  I threw my can out of the
window and leaned towards her mouth.

  "Please don’t litter, Nick."

  "Will you shut up and pucker," I said.

  Her mouth met mine and I concentrated on her lower lip, fuller than the upper one. Our mouths opened and our tongues touched. My hand moved along her stomach and caressed her breasts. She flinched when I touched a nipple, it getting hard as fast as I did. I kissed her cheek, her ear, everywhere my mouth could reach, her skin smooth and comforting against mine. I couldn’t get enough of her, sucking on one nipple while playing with the other, enjoying her shortness of breath, driven on by her pleasure. I almost blew it in my pants.

  "Damn, Nick, that feels good."

  I licked her freckled cleavage and she pushed her tits between my head. My tongue went up her throat and to her lips. Her fingers danced across my head, then down, stroking my back, her touch sending shivers throughout my body. I lifted my arms and she nearly ripped my shirt off, her hands running through the hair on my chest. My hands massaged her inner thighs and glided upwards. She was wet right through her cutoffs.

  "Sit back," she breathed.

  Standing, she undid her shorts, wiggling them from her legs. I took my pants down, freeing myself. My .45 fell on the floor mat. I reached for her wetness, touching her small golden muff, but she brushed my hand away, and sat on my lap, against my erection.

  I put my mouth to her nipples again, her hips just above mine. She reached down, lifted me up, and I was inside her. She didn’t move. Surrounded by her soft warmth, I stared into her eyes, watching the pupils expand. She flexed her hips forward.

  "Ohhhh…Nickie …" she moaned into my ear.

  I let go, shuddering into her.

  She stopped moving, resting against me. "Wow," she said.

  I caught my breath. "Yeah, you were so hot, baby."

  “What a lover boy.”

  2 8

  After Kareem and Michelle left, Irv realized this weekend would be a bust. He’d have to call everyone and tell them the thing was off. But first he should tell the Right Reverend Ronny Black, a minister who gave out his Tuesday night bingo winnings in marijuana acquired from Irv.

  "Yo, this is Reverend Ronny, how can the Lord’s disciple help you today?"

  Irv told him who was calling and said, "I don’t need you on Saturday no more."

  "What’d you say, Irving?"