The Sunburnt Country

by Palmer, Fiona

  Walking towards the shop, she relished the light breeze that kept the flies away and the heat off her skin. After lunch the temperature was bound to soar again. By about two o’clock the streets would be deserted. She had to walk past the bank and did so swiftly, trying not to roll an ankle on the broken path. Not even the shade from the lilac tree could entice her to pause.

  Jonny parted the plastic strips hanging in the doorway and entered the shop. As she went to grab a drink from the shelf, she was startled by a voice inside the fridge. ‘Hey, Jonny.’

  ‘Oh Jesus, Carlo. You shit. What are you doing in there?’

  ‘I’m supposed to be stocking the fridge but really I’m just hiding from Gabby. She’s on the warpath today.’

  Jonny laughed and wished him luck as she took her drink to the counter.

  Jonny stopped outside the shop and opened up her carton, the cold milky coffee soothing her thirst. She spotted Ryan coming out of the post office with a handful of mail. He was wearing Bundara footy club shorts and an old shearing singlet with his workboots. She was going to call out but then she saw him throw his mail into the bin. She stood there in shock as Ryan climbed into his ute and drove off. She simply couldn’t move. She was scared. But scared of what? Scared at what kind of mood Ryan was in? Scared that he’d turn her away again? What kind of friend was she? Slowly her feet led her to the bin outside the post office, curiosity getting the better of her. She reached in and pulled out four unopened envelopes. All of them were bills, one from the power company, another from Elders and a few from local businesses. Why would he just throw out his bills like that, without a backwards glance?

  She walked back towards her workshop, envelopes tucked under her arm and so deep in thought that she collided with someone and ended up with milk all down her chin.

  ‘Damn,’ she cursed as she lifted up her black singlet to wipe her face – and that’s when her eyes met Daniel’s.

  ‘I’m so sorry, Jonelle. I barged out that door and just didn’t see you,’ Daniel said.

  ‘No, no. It’s my fault. I wasn’t watching where I was going.’

  They stood in awkward silence.

  ‘Oh, I’m so sorry. I’ve got milk on your briefcase,’ she said, reaching down to wipe the black leather. ‘Are you off somewhere?’ she asked. Back to the city, she hoped.

  ‘Yeah, off to see a farmer. Jean’s given me directions. Somewhere down Cooper Road, so if I’m not back by lunchtime, send out a search party,’ he joked.

  But Jonny wasn’t laughing as she clenched the milk carton to crushing point. Her stomach twisted into knots. ‘You’re going to see Ryan Cooper?’

  Daniel cocked his head to the side. ‘How did you know that?’

  Jonny almost rolled her eyes. ‘He’s the only farmer with a house down that way.’ Just then, an idea occurred to her. ‘Hey, how would you like me to go with you and show you the way?’

  Daniel looked puzzled and a little worried. ‘Um, but I’ve got a meeting and I could be a while.’

  Jonny weighed up her options and decided to tell him the truth. ‘Look, Ryan is a close mate of mine, and he’s been having some troubles. I really don’t think he’s going to be too pleased about you rocking up in your leather shoes and fancy shirt talking money. He’s had a tough year. I want to be there with him, to help. Is it bad news? Are you going to take his farm?’

  ‘Whoah. Hang on a minute. Does everyone around here know everyone else’s business?’

  ‘Yeah, pretty much.’ Jonny shrugged. ‘You know, if you don’t take me with you, I’m just going to follow you out in my own car.’

  She saw that look in Daniel’s eyes, the one that said he might as well give up because he’d already lost this fight. Her dad got that look too. Dan smiled and nodded. ‘Well, you’d better come along, then.’

  Dan unlocked his car and she got in. It smelt of the vanilla air-freshener tree he had hanging from the rear-vision mirror and the inside was so clean the car looked brand new. Jonny hadn’t seen a car this clean since . . . well, ever. Out here, folks nearly spent more time in their cars than in their homes so it wasn’t unusual that stuff accumulated in them. Farmers’ utes were filled with farming magazines or papers, maybe a stray bullet casing, toilet paper, clothing and water bottles, and then people with kids . . . now, they were the worst. Ever tried to keep kids happy on a long drive? Her Torana was an exception, because it was her baby and only came out for special trips.

  As Daniel pulled onto the main road, the smell of his aftershave started to permeate the car.

  She cleared her throat and fiddled with the envelopes, which were now sitting on her lap. ‘You didn’t answer my last question.’ She almost squeaked out the next bit: ‘Is Ryan in trouble?’

  Dan glanced across. ‘I’m sorry but I can’t discuss Mr Cooper’s private affairs with you, Jonelle.’

  Jonny watched the bare paddocks flash past as she replied. ‘I guess I’ll find out in a few minutes anyway.’ They drove in silence, no radio or music playing. A horrible sense of dread was building in her stomach. A visit from the bank manager had to be every farmer’s worst nightmare. How was Ryan going to handle this, on top of everything else?

  ‘I don’t know how you do this,’ Jonny said eventually. ‘You’re like the Grim Reaper.’

  Daniel laughed. ‘Gee, it’s not that bad. It’s just a job, Jonelle. It’s what I do. If people can’t pay their loans, I have to chase them up. It’s as simple as that.’

  Jonny nearly muttered back something about the record-breaking profit the bank had posted this year but bit her tongue. She still had to get back to town. She was also itching to ask Daniel how Ryan had sounded on the phone. How he had taken news of the meeting? Was he upset? But knowing Ryan he wouldn’t have given anything away; no-one wanted to be seen as weak around here, least of all Ryan. Jonny tried hard to bite down the anger that grew when she thought of Ryan and the pain his ex-wife had caused him. Jonny wasn’t someone to ever go up and tell a person what she thought of them, but she swore that if she ever came across Alana again, she wouldn’t hesitate in giving her a few choice words, ones that weren’t in her mother’s vocabulary.

  ‘So, I, um, had a good time the other night with Zac and Renae at the pub. Really nice, those two.’

  ‘Well, I always thought so,’ she mumbled. Her hands were aching from clenching them so tightly on her lap. Ryan’s mail would be a paper ball before too long.

  ‘A shame you had to leave early. I didn’t get to buy you that drink.’

  ‘I had a lot on my mind.’ Jonny faced the window.

  ‘Yeah, Zac mentioned that. So, you and Ryan are very close?’

  Jonny didn’t know how to take the question. Part of her was furious that some guy, practically a stranger, could ask something so personal. She wasn’t in the mood for conversation – she was too busy fighting to stay calm – but she knew her mum would tell her it was rude to ignore him. ‘We’ve been best mates since we were little kids. We just connected right there in the sandpit and have been inseparable since.’ She wasn’t going to mention the problems through the Alana years. She turned to face him and was struck again by his looks. ‘You ever had a mate who was always there for you, could tell what mood you were in, knew how to cheer you up or knew you so well you’d often finish each other’s sentences? Well, that’s me and Ryan. Half the time Zac and Renae reckon we have our own language.’

  Daniel didn’t reply. He just nodded, a solemn look on his face. She got the feeling he was jealous – God knows, she knew the signs. Her brothers were like that when Dad would praise her for fixing something they couldn’t.

  Daniel remained quiet while she gave him directions and soon they were heading down Ryan’s driveway. To Jonny it felt like impending doom.

  ‘Nice house,’ said Daniel as he parked by the gate.

  ‘Yeah. Long story,’ she said. She could just imagine him wondering why this broke farmer had such a huge house.

  Jonny carried the mail in
with her, not sure how she was going to tell Ryan about finding it in the bin.

  She let Daniel knock on the door. After all, it was his job. There was no reply. Jonny stepped towards the end of the verandah, trying to see if he was up at the back sheds. Sounds like a car’s running. It only took that one thought for her to drop the mail and sprint towards the garage. She had no idea if Daniel was following or not. All she could think about was what she expected to find but hoped desperately that she was overreacting. Suddenly everything was piecing together.

  Jonny threw herself through the side door of the garage to find Ryan’s old Ford Falcon. The engine was running and Ryan was sitting in the front. Jonny ran to the driver’s-side door and that’s when she saw the pipe from the exhaust to the window.

  ‘Ryan!’ she screamed. Without a second thought, she pulled the hose from the car window like a mad woman, yanking it out and nearly breaking the glass. Then she ripped open the door, choking on the toxic fumes that billowed out into the fresh air. Ryan’s eyes looked tired, but Jonny swore she saw him recognise her before his head dropped to the side. You bastard, was all she could think. You bloody bastard.

  Grabbing a handful of his shirt and his right arm she dragged him out of the car. Banging his head on the door frame was the least of her worries.

  ‘Oh my God.’ Daniel stood watching her.

  She didn’t care how pale Daniel was or that he looked like he would pass out. ‘Help me, damn it! Get his legs, get his legs,’ she screamed at him. Daniel tried to pick up Ryan’s feet as Jonny dragged his limp body back through the garage door. They got him to a patch of dirt that had once been lawn and lay him down. He was unconscious.

  ‘What do we do?’ Daniel asked.

  Jonny pulled her phone from her back pocket and called the ambulance. As the phone began to ring she shouted at Dan, ‘Turn the car off.’

  She squeezed Ryan’s hand, it was limp and lifeless compared to her own body, which was alive with fear. She gave the details over the phone, puffing with each rushed word. It was only after she had hung up, after she’d done all she could possibly do for now, that she felt the tears come. Clutching Ryan’s face, she brushed his hair back off his forehead and kissed him. Her shoulders began to shake like she was having a coughing fit, but it was just her sobs trying to escape. Back and forth, she rocked on her knees. ‘Damn you, Ryan. You can’t do this. You can’t give up now.’ She kept squeezing his hand, as if pumping life back into him. Jonny sniffed back her tears and wiped her face with the back of her hand.

  ‘He looks burnt.’

  Jonny glanced up at Daniel through the blur of tears. He looked shocked. He looked like he was going to be sick. She didn’t care.

  ‘This is all your fault,’ Jonny screamed at him without thinking. ‘He knew you were coming today! If you’d never come to Bundara, none of this would have happened.’

  Daniel staggered backwards at the force of her words. She didn’t care if she hurt him. She didn’t care for him at all.

  She touched her fingers to Ryan’s lips, and was thankful for the faint breath of air she could feel. ‘I can’t lose you,’ she whispered against his cheek. They’d lived their whole lives together, always there for each other. Losing Ryan would be worse than losing a limb. Lifting up her singlet, she tried to clean her face, dry away her tears so she could be of some use when the ambulance arrived.

  He did look quite pink and it wasn’t sunburn, but if he stayed here in the sun it soon would be. ‘Help me get him into the shade on the verandah,’ Jonny said, glancing up at Daniel. He was frozen, staring at Ryan in horror. ‘Please,’ she asked again.

  Together they settled him in the shade, still unconscious.

  ‘What else can we do for him?’ Daniel asked weakly.

  ‘Maybe a wet flannel or tea towel. Can you get one?’

  Daniel raised his eyebrows. ‘From inside?’

  ‘Yes, dammit. Just find one.’

  While Daniel was gone, Jonny spoke softly to Ryan, hoping he could hear. ‘You know you didn’t have to do this, right? There’s always another way out of a problem, Ryan. Life is never this bad. You have parents who love you, your friends, Bundara. How could you? I should’ve been there for you more. I should’ve realised sooner that you weren’t coping. I wish we could go back and fix everything.’ She smeared the tears on her face. She’d start by fixing that bitch of a wife. Fancy marrying him because she thought he was a rich farmer and then when things got hard, just divorcing him and taking half the farm.

  Daniel reappeared with two wet tea towels, a flannel and a glass of water. ‘Will this do?’ he asked. Finally they heard the wail of a siren in the distance. Thank God Bundara had an ambulance.

  Ken Merritt was the first to reach them, smelling of raw meat. He was an imposing figure in his uniform, tall and confident. He asked Jonelle to relay everything that had happened as he administered oxygen from the tank. Gabby was the other ambulance officer in town. One had to admire the volunteers who just dropped everything when they were needed. Gabby squeezed Jonny’s arm before checking Ryan’s vital signs.

  ‘He’ll be okay, right?’ Jonny asked.

  Ken nodded. ‘I think so, Jonny. We’ll keep a watch on his oxygen levels, but if he was still conscious when you first found him, then he stands a chance. He’s breathing on his own, that’s a start. Let’s get him into town.’

  The police pulled up beside the ambulance. Anthony and his new officer, Cody, stepped out in full uniform. Anthony’s blue shirt pulled tightly across his heavy fifty-year-old frame.

  ‘Did you want to ride in with Ryan?’ Ken asked.

  Gabby patted Jonny’s leg and watched her carefully.

  Every inch of Jonny wanted to be with Ryan, she didn’t want him out of her sight, but someone had to call his parents.

  ‘I’d better tell his parents. And I’d better talk to Tony,’ she said, gesturing towards the police officer, who’d been waiting for the right moment to approach.

  ‘Good idea.’ Ken squeezed her shoulder. ‘You two okay?’

  ‘I’m all right, just take care of Ryan.’

  ‘We will.’ Ken turned back to Ryan and patted his arm. ‘You silly bugger. Lord knows what you were thinking.’

  ‘He’s coming around, Ken,’ said Gabby.

  Jonny fought the urge to push through and grab Ryan. ‘Please look after him, Gabby, and call me if anything changes.’

  ‘I promise, Jonny. I won’t take my eyes off him.’

  They put him on a stretcher, a heart monitor attached, and settled him inside the ambulance. That’s when Jonny felt her strength fade and the world turn dark. Tony dashed over and helped her sit down on the edge of the verandah. ‘Take it easy, kiddo,’ he said.

  She put her head between her knees, sucking in deep breaths as the colours came back.

  The ambulance pulled away, with sirens and lights sucking all her remaining strength, and the tears began to build again. Tony squeezed her shoulder once more for reassurance, but Jonny had never felt so terrified or so alone in all her life.

  Chapter 10

  DANIEL stared at the dead rose bush, its thorny frame so dry and brittle but under it all still lingered the possibility of life. His mother had said that roses were a hardy plant, that’s why she’d grown so many of them in their garden. But Daniel had always hated them. Whenever the cricket ball flew into the bushes, he’d get torn to shreds trying to retrieve it. That was until he learnt to send his younger brother Cameron after the wayward balls. Leaving those thorny bushes behind was an upside of his parents’ divorce.

  ‘Are you okay, mate?’

  The young police officer was standing in front of him. Dan glanced around, saw Jonny wiping tears from her cheeks as she spoke with the other officer, and realised that this wasn’t a bad dream. Ryan Cooper had just tried to kill himself.

  Dan hadn’t realised why Jonny had taken off like that at first, running so fast towards the sound of the engine. He hadn’t had a clue what wa
s going on. Only when she’d dragged Ryan from the car did he understand. It had taken all his effort to battle through the overwhelming fumes and his shock to help her. Everything happened so damn fast. Ryan had seemed fine on the phone this morning, but then again, how would a suicidal person sound? Could it have been a coincidence that Ryan had tried to kill himself at the arranged time of their meeting? Jonelle’s words echoed back through his mind: ‘This is all your fault.’

  Dan wiped the perspiration from his face, he was dripping, and realised the cop was still waiting for an answer. ‘Yeah, I’m fine.’

  Of course he wasn’t fine, but what was he supposed to say? That he felt responsible for this?

  ‘Are you right to get back into town?’ the officer asked. Dan stared at him and wondered if he was popular with the ladies, with his uniform, dark sunnies and crew cut.

  ‘Um, I should be fine.’ There it was again, that word ‘fine’. Dan stood up and headed over to check on Jonelle.

  She was still talking to the older officer, the one she called Tony not Senior Constable Parry, and refused to make eye contact with Dan. This just fuelled his guilt.

  Dan cleared his throat. ‘Are you ready to head back into town? Is there anything else I can do?’ He put his hands into his pockets, even though it was far too hot to be doing that.

  ‘You go ahead. We’ve got phone calls to make. I’ll get a ride back in with Tony.’ Her voice wasn’t filled with hatred like it had been earlier. It was soft and sad.

  Dan wanted to say sorry. He felt like he needed to apologise but he didn’t know how. He turned and walked away towards his car, feeling like the guy who’d loaded the gun for Ryan. Maybe Jonelle was right; maybe he really was the grim reaper.

  Daniel found himself back on the road into town not even sure how he got there. How could he travel more than ten kilometres and not remember them? The steering wheel felt strange beneath his hands.