Emotionally Scarred

by Selina Fenech

  EMOTIONALLY SCARRED

  A Short Story

  By Selina Fenech

  Story Description

  Emma has been bullied her whole life. Her supernatural ability to sense other people’s emotions makes their cruel words even more painful. When Emma changes schools she hopes things will be different, but a prank and a risky plan turn into a life or death situation. Emma will discover she has more power than she thought, but will she use it for good?

  Best read following Emotionally Charged, but can be read as a stand alone story.

  EMOTIONALLY SCARRED

  I wish I could use magic to stop people staring at me, or enchant myself to be beautiful, but the powers I have are different. I’m not a real witch, no matter what the other kids call me. I’m not a superhero either, despite my powers. Heroes aren’t ugly.

  The lime-green shade of my new school’s corridors set my teeth on edge. Everyone watched me, the new girl with the target right on her face. My sneakers squeaked as I walked and I felt so completely conspicuous. Cruel laminate flooring. My own body betrayed me as well. I was taller than most girls, which just made me easier to spot. I wanted to love my bright red hair but I hated that it attracted attention to my face.

  Other students stared openly and gossiped as they pretended to poke through their lockers. A tide of emotion followed their stares, the usual mix of sympathy and disgust that I was used to. That was my superpower — to sense how people were feeling, so strongly I felt their emotions burrowing into my pores. I hated it. I hugged my new textbooks close to my chest.

  Chin up, Emma. Don't let them get to you. You're beautiful on the inside.

  I tried to believe that my outer appearance wasn’t important and that real friends would like the real me no matter how I looked. But my intelligence made me as much of a target as my face. So I tried to act like everyone else, dress right, talk right, do all the right things. I had gone from child prodigy to C average, stuffing tests on purpose, half-hearting my assignments, giggling mindlessly, and pretending I actually like music where dudes sing about their sexy bitches. Anything to just fit in.

  This year was supposed to be better. Operation: New Me. I convinced my parents to let me change schools. By convinced, I mean I was expelled from my last school when I got into a fight with this girl who wouldn’t leave me alone. I had a weird adrenaline rush and broke her arm. Oops.

  A little extra begging on top and my plebian parents finally let me have the mole, the bane of my existence, removed. This was no cute beauty mark, but a brown blob of ugly flesh that covered half my chin. That’s why I was the witch of my last school. Marked by the devil, dribbling sewage, just plain gross; I heard it all from the other kids.

  If they also knew I could read their emotions like some kind of freak…

  So I was off to a new school, and in between, I’d have the mole removed. Then it was meant to be like in the books, where a group of great friends would adopt me and the hottest guy in the school would fall for me. I wouldn’t be teased. I would be happy.

  The whole plan plunged into epic fail. My parents didn’t realize I needed a proper cosmetic surgeon for the work, to actually make my face look like the mole was never there. Sure the doctor removed the mole, but in its place he left a jumbo pink scar like a deformed fetus.

  I came to this new school with a plan, determined to be positive anyway. I dressed up, smiled, and waited for people to ask, wow, where did you get that scar? And I would tell them crazy cool tales of my heroism, saving a baby from a pit bull attack, only to have a chunk of flesh bitten off my face. I’d say it was nothing. I did what I had to do. Beloved school heroine, here I come.

  I didn’t have a chance. Someone knew someone from my previous school and gossip of my mole, and the botched removal attempt, became the new school joke. It took no time for a mortifying “before and after” photo to make the rounds. Not one student would even talk to me. Their hateful emotions seeped into me like poison running through an IV, chilling my veins, making me ill. I hadn’t escaped.

  My eyes stung. No way, if I cried in the middle of the school corridors, it was all over.

  I turned to face the wall and got lucky. There was a notice board right there, covered in fluoro fliers for me to pretend to read while I got myself under control.

  Just breathe.

  The corridor stank of bleach from a recent cleaning. If anyone saw my eyes damp and asked if I was OK, I’d say my eyes were sensitive to the chemicals. I had an answer for everything. I just needed someone to ask.

  “Since you’re new, I’ll give you some advice.” Someone spoke in my ear, closer than I’m used to anyone getting. I shivered.

  Rafael, who I’d already identified as the most handsome guy ever, was leaning next to me. He had one elbow against the wall and his hand played with his own sun-bleached hair. I don’t blame him; my hands would love to do that, too.

  Rafael had the looks of a 1950’s movie star and he knew it. He played it up, wearing a leather jacket with turned-up collar like he was James Dean and said things like doll, daddy-o, and swell. Yeah, I’d been eaves-stalking. Just a bit.

  And here he was looking at me, talking to me. What was going on?

  “Advice?”

  “Don’t join the chess club,” he said.

  I let what must be a dumbfounded expression stay on my face and spoke slowly. “But… the checkered boards are so pretty, and I like the little horsies.”

  Rafael had the worn look of having to explain something to a poor dumb girl and I worried I’d missed my shot. I raised an eyebrow dramatically, hoping he got the point.

  A moment passed, then he chuckled and I let out a massive sigh. Internally. Externally, I kept my cool and gave a flirty-yet-coy grin. I was stupidly proud of myself. Maybe I could do this. I was beautiful on the inside, and he would be the first person to see. And really, I’d kick ass in chess club, but I’d never let anyone know that.

  “I’m Raf. That’s the other important thing you need to know, new girl.”

  “Emma,” I said. I extended a hand to shake his, leaving just one to hold up my books. They shifted, and I rebalanced them in a way that squished my boobs up into prominence.

  “Oops!” I giggled as though I hadn’t meant to do the whole thing. His smile in return was hungry, almost predatory. I could sense the lusty excitement in him, but also something chilling, a darker emotion hidden under his grin.

  “Careful, you’ll need those, for, you know, learning.”

  “No problem. I can shake hands and balance books. Get me a job in the circus, I have the skills.”

  The bell rang. Too soon… I wanted this to go on forever.

  “Time to go, and you know, learn.” I rolled my eyes with just enough eyelash flutter to be cute, I hoped.

  “Better move. I don’t want to get you in trouble on your first day.”

  Right. I’d been here two weeks. Well, he’s noticed me now at least. I had to give him a reason to remember me. Dare I?

  “I don’t mind getting into trouble sometimes, if it’s for a good enough reason.”

  Raf bumped his shoulder into mine. “You’re a firecracker, aren’t you? Say, you want to meet up after class? Hang out?”

  My lips trembled. “Sure.”

  “Come to Siren’s Haven. You know it?”

  I nodded, casually, like I went all the time. The abandoned set of a failed pirate movie, still standing down by the river. I knew of it because Dad was big into collecting movie props. Tacky replicas mostly, but real stuff too when he could.

  “See you there at six, at the main pirate ship. It’ll be a gas.”

  This was too good to be true. I hated that I doubted this, doubted that there could be anything abou
t me he’d find attractive. I was about to split apart, torn between hope and suspicion. I scanned my surroundings for hidden cameras.

  Jake headed off down the corridor. I skipped class, went to the girl’s bathroom, and did the Snoopy Dance.

  ~*~

  I took so long trying to decide what to wear that I risked being late. I ended up staying in what I wore to school that day: sneakers, black stockings with enough carefully manufactured runs to look every-day, short shorts, and an oversized dusty-red sweater. I’d spent long enough picking it out in the morning anyway and didn’t want to look like I was trying too hard. All I did was change my bra. I also had other preparing to do, and the sweater fit my plans.

  I squeezed through the hole in the chain link fence and when my top snagged on one of the cut wires I had a mini panic attack while getting my outfit in order again.

  Twilight lit the fake pirate town, turning grayed wood and dusty weeds varying shades of lilac. I couldn’t lose the shakes that had been with me since my conversation with Rafael. They only grew as I made my way to the half-built pirate ship, propped up on blocks down the path. A rainbow of spray-can lids littered the road and I kicked them along to try and distract my nerves.

  Siren’s Haven had been abandoned two years ago when issues with actor contracts tanked production. They closed up shop and left it all standing while they tried to get back on track, but in the meantime it had become a playground. I climbed up the weathered wooden ladder onto the ship’s deck. Empty beer cans lay scattered about the remains of fires. A couple of old lounges had been dragged in. A regular party destination for parties I never got invited to.

  Rafael waited for me, reclining on top of a cluster of barrels like a real swashbuckler.

  “Hey, sweet cheeks.” He rolled onto his side, shifted over, and patted the spot next to him.

  “Hey.” I strolled across the deck and paused at the barrels. A foam mattress had been thrown on top of them. It made squishy noises when he moved. Ew.

  “Come on, don’t be shy.” Raf patted the mattress again and its moldering stench reached me. “No pressure, I’m not going to try anything. I’m a gentleman.”

  “Can I admit something?” My voice quavered, but that was ok, I was aiming for cute and vulnerable. But really I was super nervous about what was going to happen. “I haven’t been here before. I want to have a look around. Can you show me?”

  “A tour? Sure, doll, sure.” He hopped down onto the deck with a smooth jump.

  The wood squeaked in warning under us, fragile and not meant to have lasted this long. Rafael put an arm around my shoulder and led me to the prow. I hadn’t expected him to touch me. My heart thudded. If he had put his arm around my waist the game would have been over.

  From the prow of the ship you could see the whole film set. There were mermaids carved into the front wall of the pirate bar (which, like most of the buildings, only had a front wall). Tall grass sprouted everywhere, even from the façades themselves. There was a fake rock pool to our left, and the place might have been pretty if it weren’t crumbling and trashed.

  “Beautiful, isn’t it?” Raf breathed heavily into my ear. “But not as beautiful as you.”

  Where did this guy get his lines? I hated that they still made my heart race, even though I had no reason to believe him. Before I could mutter the obvious denial, he kissed me.

  It was a small kiss on my temple, soft and a little cheeky. I lost my breath.

  “Hey,” he said, and turned me toward him. I let him move me as he wished. He smiled down at me and it was a beautiful smile. His emotions told me how excited he was. Excited, and smug.

  He whispered in my ear. “Take your top off for me.”

  The last fine cobweb of hope I’d clung to snapped. I knew this was coming, but I clung anyway, and now I felt myself fall. I could stop this and leave now, or I could follow through with the plan I had stupidly dreamed that I wouldn’t have to use. Rafael saw my pause and misread my internal conflict.

  “It’s OK, you’re beautiful. I just want to see you.”

  I nodded slowly and grabbed the bottom hem of my sweater, lifting it up over my head.

  I heard the cla-click sound effect of his camera app as I dropped my sweater to the ground.

  Hidden camera revealed.

  He held up his phone, admiring the photo he had taken. “Grade-school underwear, much?”

  I had changed out my nice bra that afternoon for a plain black sports tank.

  I reached around to the back waistband of my shorts while he examined his photography. I came prepared.

  He stood there, still pointing the phone at me, playing his cruel trick.

  And I stood, pointing a gun right back.

  Checkmate.

  “What are you…?” He took a clumsy step back and looked around as though there’d be someone to save him.

  “I knew. I knew what you had planned!”

  After dancing like a happy fool, thinking he actually wanted me, the fear that it couldn’t be true took over. So I went to find Rafael, to follow him and find out more. There had to be something going on with him, and I daydreamed that he just had some cool, dark secret that only I could know, like he had freaky powers too, or he really was from the 1950’s. Not that he was simply a jerk.

  “I heard you talking to Gavin. Saying you had me eating out of your hands, and you were going to get a photo to blackmail me with to make me do… whatever you wanted.” I jabbed the gun at him as I talked, my voice growing louder.

  “I knew about it all, and even then, I still hoped maybe you were just saying that to your guy as cover but you really did want…”

  I shook my head. I had to stop saying stupid stuff in front of him, as though I were still waiting for him to reveal he cared for me.

  No. I had my plan. I knew this was coming, despite any crazy hopes I held. I came here knowing what I would do so that I’d come out of this on top either way.

  “Throw your phone over.”

  He did, and I deleted the photo of me.

  Rafael trembled visibly. His expression was frozen but his fear was tangible to me. He had his hands raised in front of him. I pulled out my phone and flicked on the camera. Set it to video and kept the gun aimed at him with the other hand.

  “I want you to tell the world, Raf, what a jerk you are. A horrible bully. Come on, I’m easy pickings, right? Go for the girl with the mangled face, why don’t you.”

  His jaw moved, but he said nothing.

  “Say it!”

  “I… I’m a jerk.”

  “You are. You take advantage of girls. Say it.”

  “I take advantage of girls.”

  The fear flowing off him made me giddy. I hadn’t felt such an intense emotion before and it filled me with energy. A grin spread on my face.

  “You’re nothing but a small-dicked, derivative, misogynistic coward…”

  He repeated me on cue.

  “Who is about to die.”

  I squeezed the trigger and Rafael twisted like he could dodge a bullet. He couldn’t even dodge the spray of water shooting from the gun. Working replica water pistols formed a large part of my Dad’s prop collection.

  Not all the wet on Rafael was from the gun. His pants were soaked. I giggled as I flicked the video off on the phone and slipped it into my pocket.

  “Wow, a better performance than I could have hoped for. Now listen carefully, Mr. Popular. You’re going to be my new bestest friend at school. You’ll help show everyone how fab-u-lous I can be. Because if you don’t, I will show everyone who you really are.”

  My plan complete, I turned to strut away, the proud victor.

  I felt the change before I saw anything. The fear gushing from Rafael shifted to blinding fury. The heavy sound of footfalls charged at me.

  He shoved me hard from behind and I landed on my face. The aged wood deck grazed my hands, turning them into splinter pincushions. I rolled onto my back, looking up at him.

  “No
one is going to see that video, ugly bitch!”

  He reached down, grabbing at the pocket of my shorts.

  I wrestled against his hands, swatting him away.

  “No way are you blackmailing me. You’re going to suffer.”

  He slapped me in the face.

  His anger flowed down, onto me, bathing me, seeping into my muscles and warming them. I felt strong, the same strength I felt when I broke that girl’s arm. The splinters didn’t bother me. My cheek felt hot where Rafael had slapped me, but didn’t sting.

  Rafael swung at me again and I knocked his arm away easily. He pulled back, shocked, and nursed his arm where I hit it.

  I leapt onto my feet, hands balled into fists, wanting more fight. I wanted revenge for every painful word or look I’d ever suffered.

  I kicked high and hard, hitting him right in the centre of his chest.

  He flew backward, like he was wired up for a movie stunt.

  I was a witch after all.

  Rafael hit the figurehead at the prow of the boat. A squealing groan came from the ship, followed by popping and cracking noises of wood splitting. I felt the deck shudder, and knew the ship would fall.

  I looked at Rafael. My body screamed with energy. I felt strong, fast, and confident, like I could reach him, throw him over my shoulder, and leap to safety in time. If I tried, maybe I could save us both.

  In that moment, I chose not to.

  I looked Rafael in the eye and casually stepped off the side of the ship. I stood clear as the structure collapsed in on top of him.

  ~*~

  I bolted away from Siren’s Haven before the dust settled. I had to sneak back inside so my parents wouldn’t see that I’d lost my sweater and come home half-dressed.

  I deleted my video of Rafael for fear it could be used as evidence against me. I fretted about the sweater I’d left and hoped it would be considered just another piece of trash, not a clue to a crime. I plotted various excuses and alibis for if I was questioned. I had answers for everything.

  But no one came for me.

  A week later, I went to the funeral.