Fallen Desire

by N. L. Echeverria

  “That’s good to hear. How is Kim doing? I haven’t seen her around lately.”

  “She’s good. Actually, I was going to ask if I could go to her house tonight. She’s having a small get-together.” Actually a party with a lot of people. My mom just looks at me with this look that shows she knows different.

  “Will you be staying the night there?”

  I shrug, “If that’s okay?”

  “It’s okay with me. It’s nice to see you not leaving your other friends behind for this boy.”

  I happened to leave out the part that Ethan is going to be there, but I can tell it makes her feel better knowing I’m not spending all my time with him. The rest of the time we enjoy our full plates of food, she talks a little about work and dad and the things that he’s coming up against running the law firm. She tells me how they were so lucky to have been given this opportunity. As she talks, I try to focus, but I can’t help but wonder what Ethan is doing right now and what keeps him so busy that I don’t see him for days at a time. All I know is that tonight I’m not going to let him avoid me any longer. Tonight is the night for answers.

  FOURTEEN

  I’ve had no luck contacting Ethan prior to the party. Now with only 20 minutes before he’s supposed to pick me up to go, I’m starting to get the feeling he may not show, which is leaving me extremely flustered. I can barely finish up my hair without wanting to throw myself on my bed and pitch a fit. I can’t help that my emotions are running so high right now. I can’t contain myself when it comes to him. Typically, I don’t get so worked up over things, but knowing the fact that so much information is just in my grasp and Ethan is the key to unlock it is completely unbearable. Putting on my new white Converse that go well with my new purple and white shirt and my jean shorts doesn’t make me feel as good as it normally would or would like it to. I swear that if anyone could see me right now, they’d be able to feel the anger and frustration radiating off of me. Now it’s just a matter of time until I accept that Ethan isn’t coming. I don’t know what it is, but usually I have faith in him; I guess since I know he’s holding something back, I’m feeling a little betrayed. I feel like now that he’s revealed to me who he is, he owes me an explanation and some information on where we go from here.

  As soon as I can’t hold it in anymore and go to throw myself face first on my bed, I hear the doorbell ring and in this moment all the hostile energy is gone. He came. I can’t help but jump for excitement. I almost trip as I run down the stairs yelling to my mom that I’ve got the door. As soon as I open it, I feel my face turn pink and a huge smile runs across my face from ear to ear. His appearance is stunning. His clothes aren’t out of the ordinary, just dark blue jeans and some generic grey T-shirt. It isn’t his clothes that are amazing but his face – actually his eyes – and of course above all the way his presence makes me feel. All my anger has vanished and I can feel myself calming down the instant I look into his piercing eyes. It’s that feeling that draws me to him.

  It’s what’s so extremely perfect about him. He’s nothing but pure good and I crave him. At this moment, it’s easy for me to realize why I love him and why I need him. He centers me.

  “I’ve missed you.” His voice is steady and sure as he pulls out one red rose from behind his back.

  I can’t help but blush. I don’t know when the last time was that I was given a rose, if ever. “Thank you, Ethan.” I lean in and give him a soft kiss on the lips but press my mouth against his long enough for him to know my sincerity. There’s no better feeling in the world than when our bodies touch. It gives off a feeling of explosive spark of love and fills the room with desire. Everything around us becomes still. Just as I pull away, I hear my mom clear her throat from behind me, and realize I had left out the part about Ethan going to the party and picking me up. I turn around to let her know we’re off to the party and when I see her face, I can see she isn’t happy.

  “Well, we’re going to head on over to Kim’s. Ethan came to give me a ride since he’s going, too.” I bite down on my lip as my mom continues to look at me and doesn’t take her gaze off of me.

  “Lindsay. So, I’m going to assume that only girls are staying the night at Kim’s?” She has that look of disappointment in her eyes.

  “Of course, Mom. Ethan and the other guys are only coming by for a short time, that’s not a problem, right?”

  “Well, I would have appreciated if you would have let me know this earlier but no I guess it is fine that you still go. Please be safe and I’ll see you in the morning.”

  I quickly turn to head out the door to avoid any further conversation and thank goodness my mom isn’t eager to get more information from me. She tells me she loves me as I walk out the door. Now I just have to convince Ethan to take me somewhere secluded so that we can talk before the party. I have a feeling that once we get there, we won’t get very much time alone. He gracefully walks me to the passenger side of the door and opens it to let me in. The smile on his face shows all the love that he’s willing to give me. I slide into the car, and as I buckle in he’s already smoothly slid into his side of the car and buckled as well. He is incredible. Before starting the car, he turns to look at me.

  “I want to show you something before we go to the party if that’s okay?” he asks.

  “Yeah, of course. What do you want to show me?” Hopefully this is the chance I was waiting for.

  “You will see when we get there,” he replies playfully.

  The rest of the ride is quiet. Not in an awkward silence way but more of a peaceful way. Even when we aren’t talking it’s easy to just ‘be’, as if there’s some higher power that has brought us together for this very moment in time and made it perfect. I know it has to be his angelic soul that makes me feel so at ease when I’m with him. The only other time that I feel like this – like nothing else matters – is when I’m with Derrick. Derrick! Ugh, I seriously hope he decides to bail on the party in an effort to avoid me.

  Before I know it, Ethan is pulling up around a corner. Out my window are large dark trees, and as I look down I can see we’re on top of a hill. Up ahead is a clearing for cars to park and a few benches so that people can enjoy the view of the town. It didn’t even feel like we had been driving very long, but I know this place and it’s almost 45 minutes from my house. Another viewing spot that this amazing town has. Now I’m wondering if we’re even going to make it to that party tonight. I would rather be here with him anyways. The one Derrick took me to is amazing, but this place is ten times better. And I don’t think it’s the view that’s better because they are all pretty much the same, being here with Ethan makes it incredible. Ethan parks the car and comes around to my side to open my door and gently helps me out. As soon as I’m out, I can really appreciate the view from up here. Looking down, I can see all the town’s lights for miles just illuminating the ground. Below us are layers of green trees of thick forest circling the hill. The air smells and feels clean on my lungs, and I take in deep breaths. The earth seems tranquil and peaceful from up here. Ethan turns to face me and pulls me into his body which gives me chills from head to toe.

  My body shivers with pleasure in reaction to his every touch. “I wanted to bring you here so you can feel how peaceful the earth can be. I want to talk to you, Lindsay. There’s so much more going on down there than you could possibly know. I brought you here so I can answer any questions you might have about me or even about you. I want to tell you everything. I’m sorry it took so long, but I had to make sure I wasn’t wrong about you.” He pulls me in tighter and leans in to me as he presses his lips to my forehead for a soft kiss. “I love you, Lindsay, and I want you to know everything because you of all people on this planet need to be prepared for what is coming.”

  “You talk to me like I’m important and so special compared to other people, and I really have no idea what you’re talking about. Please let’s just start with you and where you come from and how you got here. I know it is probably a lot to tell,
but I want to know as much as I can about you Ethan.” We walk over to a bench that looks out on the town below. He sits with his body turned toward me and places his hand in mine.

  “Lindsay I’m just going to tell you who I am and explain how I became this way but I would rather not get too far into it, I’ve changed and I don’t want to look back on who I was, at least not right now.”

  I can understand that. “Okay. That sounds like a good start.”

  “Like I said before, I’m a demon. I know that you think of me as an angel, and I guess you could consider me that. You have to understand that I’m a Fallen Angel. There are many others out there like me and others that are not like me. There was a time that I did not agree with what was going on in the world. I was cast out of heaven and sent to earth. Here on earth, I chose the wrong path, at the time it seemed right. I was persuaded by dark forces and therefore my soul was turned. I fed on humans to gain strength and feel power.” He leans his head back and takes in a deep breath.

  “I had no desire to help mankind and no respect for the planet. I didn’t care what happened to anyone or anything. I was angry with God and even though my anger came from him wanting to destroy mankind, I became the very thing I hated. Until I met you, of course, you’re the only person I’ve cared about since the day I was placed here. I spent a long time using people, forcing them to do evil and turning them into empty shells. I took their souls for myself, I don’t need them to survive but they’re what make me strong. Innocent souls feed the evil that has lived inside me since I fell to Earth, it needed to be fed. ‘Demon’ is the word that describes me best, Lindsay. The moment I picked you as a victim, I sensed something different. Then once I met you face to face, I couldn’t harm you. I know now that He created you to help me and others like me. There are many demons that want nothing more than to be changed back into what we were before the fall, an angel. It is said that there will be a soul created by God that will have the gift of forgiveness and will be able to change us and release us of our evil, if that is what we most desire. This soul will be gifted with powers from God and it is said that this person will hold more powers than any human ever has.” Ethan pauses just long enough to look deeply into my eyes and then continues. “They'll have the ability to read people and their powers will put a stop to the war that is going on between the demons and angels. This person will have the strength to give a demon new life – or take it away.” I keep quiet, it’s all I can do to not speak up and ask more about this person. I bite my lip not wanting to interrupt.

  “Lindsay, that soul is you. You’re the one that was created to bring peace to the Demons and Angels, which will prevent the war on earth. There are Angels out there that are doing all they can to destroy us, even if it means hurting people that get in the way. I guess in most humans’ opinions, an Angel is considered to be completely good. These Angels believe that they’re doing the work of God by destroying the Demons. The thing is we were all placed here for the same reasons and for some of us it was easier not to be seduced by the evil that surrounded us here on Earth. For me, I was too easily possessed. I felt that God had betrayed me by casting me down. If the Demons aren’t released of their evil, it’s only a matter of time before a war between the Fallen will break out. A war would mean the end of mankind, it would destroy this planet. There are already armies forming, they haven’t made any moves yet, but its coming. I can feel it. We need you Lindsay, I need you.”

  I’m speechless, “I…I…um…I’m not sure I understand, Ethan. How is it possible that I’m this soul that you think I am? I don’t have any special abilities that even come close to being inhumanly. Even if I had some kind of special powers, I wouldn’t even know how to help or how to free your soul from evil. I’m just one teenager. How is it that the destiny of the world is left in my hands? How is it that I even find these demons and then when I do how would I know that they want to be freed? The ultimate question is how do you even know for sure that I’m the one that can help you? This is too much to take in. I want to know but it’s hard to process and believe.” I feel my heart racing as the questions are bouncing around in my head and I’m beginning to feel lightheaded. I can’t do this right now. “Please Ethan, take me out of here. Take me high, high into the sky, so I can feel you. Feel you for who you truly are. Your touch is so calming. Please, I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

  “Of course Lindsay, but we better get out of anyone’s sight first. I love you, and I don’t want you to be scared. We still have plenty of time to get things figured out. You will learn your powers over time. I even know someone that can help us. Come on, let’s head down the hill a ways, and then we can find a safe spot.”

  As soon as we’re half way down the hill, we’re surrounded by forest. Ethan pulls the car over. He walks around to my side of the car and helps me out. “Come with me,” he says. “We have to go into the woods to get out of sight.” I follow him holding his hand and staying right up behind him. My feet manage to keep right up to him as we are moving so fast past the trees that they are a blur, yet I’m still able to see clearly in front of us. It’s amazing. My senses are heightened, I hadn’t realized until now. Being with him has caused these changes in me. Maybe this is part of what he was talking about. As soon as we come to a spot that has enough room, he comes to a stop.

  “This should be open enough to allow my wing span.” Before I can say anything, two beautifully dark wings open up behind him. They expand enormously on each side of him filling the entire area. It’s stunning; it takes all I have not to fall to my knees. The feathers appear as black as night with the texture of silk shimmering under the moon. His hair softly pressed against his cheek bones ever so slightly and his eyes that are just as black as his wings lure me in. His energy is pulling at me. I can almost feel it grabbing me and wanting me. There’s no way I can ever fight this desire for him. He was meant to find me and I’m meant to save him from whatever evil that he believes is still within him, though when I look into his eyes I see nothing but good. No evil exist within him. His soul is destined for good. The moment I met him, my world changed – I don’t know those around me, I no longer know myself – but what I do know is that only I can save him. I almost fall to my knees staring into his remarkable eyes reading the soul that lies within, but then as soon as my knees buckle beneath me he’s there sweeping me up.

  As I look down I can see we have already left the ground. He soars higher and higher into the black night sky, and I can feel the cool breeze on my face. I forget about everything. All I can see is him and me, his embrace on me and the love and energy that are flowing between the two of us. Below us is the earth and the people who are oblivious to the coming danger. He continues to glide through the sky with ease, and his hands wrap tightly around me keeping me secure. I take in the sweet fragrance that is all him and hum to myself with pleasure. His scent causes a reaction deep in my gut. My heart starts pumping faster, and even in the cool sky I can feel my face heating up. I want him; I want all of him. I want to feel his body on mine and as soon as I think it he looks down at me and gives me a grin as if he can hear my thoughts. He runs one of his hands down my back, as he’s still holding me firmly with his other. His wings gently moving against the wind making the most beautiful noise I have ever heard. I lean my head back slightly and he moves his lips into my neck and gently kisses my neck several times as he moves his hand down my back slowly and then smoothly turns my body around so that my back is against his chest. We’re now so high above the woods I can’t even make them out. He continues to keep one arm tightly wrapped around me pressed just under my breasts and moves his right hand down my stomach giving me chills even though it feels like my skin is on fire. His hand moves and with one try unbuttons the button to my shorts and then from there he moves his hand down and I can’t help but moan with his caress. He kisses my neck as his hand continues to move giving my body pleasure that’s beyond anything I’ve ever felt. Our bodies are made for each other. His
hand moves slowly and perfectly in tune with me. My eyes closed and my head back against his chest I let him take over all my senses. The pleasure rises in my gut, feeding my need for him.

  I open my eyes and see that we are slowly descending; the pleasure is increasing to a point that I want nothing more than to grab him and bring our bodies together so that I can feel him inside me. I feel my feet landing softly on the ground and open my eyes to see the surrounding forest. Disappointment runs through me as I don’t want this to be over. In a slow soft move, Ethan releases me, buttoning my shorts, and begins kissing me on the back of my neck.

  “Lindsay, you are amazing, and I love you so much. I’m sorry if I get too aggressive. I hope that wasn’t too much. It is really difficult for me keep my hands off you. When I’m with you, I want to hold you and touch you constantly.”

  I sigh, “That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt. Please don’t be sorry. You’re incredible, Ethan, and trust me, if we weren’t flying I would have forced it to go a lot further.” I look down a little embarrassed that I just admitted that, but it is how I feel. He grabs my chin and lifts up my face looking into my eyes with a smile filled with sweetness and kindness.

  “Maybe we can continue this another time then. If we’re going to make it to Kim’s house at all tonight, we better get going.”

  I sigh at the thought of not being able to be alone with Ethan. The last thing I really feel like doing is going to the party. I want to spend every second I get with Ethan. His world is now my world, and I have so much to learn I feel like I’m wasting time, but I know that if I don’t go Kim will never let me live it down. “Okay but you better keep to your word!” I say.

  “Oh, that won’t be hard, Lindsay.”

  FIFTEEN