“My aura. It is just another part that allows you to read people’s emotions and a part of who they are.”
“How can I read someone’s emotions if I don’t even know how the hell to read an aura?” The demon is still hovering within him using its energy to weaken Ethan to the point of him giving in and taking my soul from me. I can see him through Ethan’s eyes, and the creature is absolutely horrifying. It sucks the life from people with no remorse. My jaw tightens and fists ball-up as anger builds inside me. How did Avarie help me at all? If anything I’m more confused than before.
“I can help you Lindsay, but you have to look past the evil inside me and trust me again.” He’s pleading with me now.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to. I have no control over what I feel when I look at you. I think it’s best if I’m left alone right now. I need to pull myself together and gather all my thoughts and hopefully start making sense of some of this. I can’t fight what I don’t understand.”
“If that is what you wish then I’ll leave you be, but please know that if you need me or want me at any time all you have to do is release those desires to the universe and I will come. I love you, Lindsay.” Even though I want to tell him to stop and grab him and hold him so he knows I love him, I can’t and before I even have a chance to move or say anything he’s gone out my window. My whole body goes limp, and I fall to my bed planting my face into a pillow. All my emotions release at once and I begin to cry.
Ethan
When I leave her room, I can’t help but start to feel emptiness inside. I don’t know where I’m flying to, all I know is that I want to go up higher and higher and let go of everything that I’ve become over the centuries. As soon as I think we’re making progress, I end up setting us back. If only I weren’t a demon this would be so much easier. The love would be effortless. I knew it would come to this though. I couldn’t expect for her to accept her abilities easily. It’s going to be a struggle to get her to understand what all this is. I know that once she accepts her newfound vision she will embrace it and become stronger than anyone existing. I’ll stay away until she calls on me; I know that won’t be long.
She’ll realize that she needs my help to understand what she is and her purpose. I don’t blame her, though, for being afraid. Controlling my desires in the beginning was very difficult. All I ever seemed to be able to concentrate on was the souls within people and how much power I would feel if I took some for myself. Avarie told me of the redeemer long ago, but who knew I would be the one to lead her. Lindsay showed me my path without her even knowing her own destiny. She has the ability to show all of us who want to be free of the evil we have been bound to for so long. Even though it weakens me to not feed on human souls, it is the last thing that I want to do when I’m near her or even when I’m thinking of her. Her long brown hair that smells of a blooming meadow and flows against her back and shoulders in a beautiful display and those deep brown eyes full of innocence and so much love. Her touch warms me and reminds me of all the purity that used to exist and that is now so hard to find. She’s everything that everyone hopes to be: a soul peer with the ability to change the world that surrounds me and suffocates me. The day I met her was the day that I began to live a true life. She is everything to me. I’ll no longer subject her to the demon in me; I will show her that my soul is indeed made to be an angel. I once was one and I will not give up until I’ve been granted redemption and rid of this evil for good. All I can hope for is for her to come to grips with the powers that she was been born with and to accept her destiny. I know that she will, but I fear that she will come to think that I’m using her. I’m going to make sure I do whatever I can to show her how much I love and care about her. I’m not going to let anyone stand in my way. I know that Derrick will be there for her in this time of need and I know he’s going to try to convince her that I have other motives but she must see through it and know that even though he’s different than me he’s no better. He can’t see what she sees and he only has one destiny, which he’s already chosen.
If I know him, he won’t let Lindsay get in his way; even if he cares about her he cares more about winning the battle. She was born to see the truth in our kind and the truth in the humans around her. With all the thoughts running through my head, I hadn’t realized I ended up above the house with the path lined with yellow and red tulips. Avarie’s house. I almost always seem to find my way here when I don’t know what to do. She’s my best option for someone that can assist Lindsay. She’ll be able to keep her calm. Placing my feet on the ground and tucking my wings in makes me feel a little more tranquil. Stepping onto Avarie’s property always lessens my anxiety. She keeps a peaceful, calming spell surrounding her property. It’s a feeling that you can’t help but embrace no matter what is happening. As I go to knock on the front door, it bursts open, and there she is with the widest grin on her face and bouncy curls of red surrounding her pale and flawless youthful skin.
“Ethan! I knew you would be back. With how Lindsay took off I didn’t think she would take it well. You know she can see aura’s right? She can see within as well.” Even with her peaceful spell surrounding me, sadness continues to consume me as I recall the fear on Lindsay’s face.
“Yeah, we had a little talk. She sees the demon inside me, and she won’t come near me. She’s afraid of me,” I need her help.
“No worries, Ethan! She’ll come around. She’s just frightened right now because before you came along everything in her life was very normal. You can’t expect her to come to grips with everything right away. It’s going to take a little while. You have to understand it’s expected.”
I know she’s trying to reassure me but I can’t help but be concerned, “Yes. But we don’t have that long! Don’t you know that Derrick is here? He’s putting together an army and he’s been getting close to Lindsay. I fear it’s for all the wrong reasons.”
“So I’ve heard. I do have friends, you know. Derrick is a noble soul and his intentions are good, but he is naive to believe that one who is consumed with evil could never be redeemed. I’m not at all worried about him hurting Lindsay. I know that even though he does not approve of what she’s destined to do, he does love her and will not harm her. You do not need to worry yourself with Derrick.”
“I’ve come here because I need your help with Lindsay. I appreciate you helping her tap into her powers but now she needs to understand it and she won’t come near me. When she looks at me, all she can see is evil. She finally sees the truth of what I am. Please, Avarie, will you help me teach Lindsay what it is that she’s seeing so she can better learn to control it and learn to use her powers instead of being afraid of them?” I can’t help but plead for her aid.
“Of course I’ll help you. This is my destiny; I’ve been waiting so long for Lindsay to arrive. Now you be on your way and relax. Leave it to me to help Lindsay. Give it a few days before you come around so as not to get her emotions heightened again. I need her to be focused for the next few days.”
“Okay. Thank you so much, Avarie, you’re amazing and a wonderful friend, the best a demon could ask for!” I pull her in for a tight embrace. For everything she did for me in my past and all the faith she put into me, I can never thank her enough.
“Just a good and helpful little witch. Like I said, I’ve been waiting a long time for her soul to find its way to me.” As I take off up into the sky, I feel grateful to have these wonderful individuals around me and thankful that even though I wasn’t always there by God’s side he still looks after me in one way or another.
Lindsay
Lying in bed isn’t doing me any good; I’m just making myself more depressed. My parents will be home soon and the last thing I want to see is glowing lights around them too. They’re definitely going to know something’s up, I don’t think I’ll be able to control my reactions. I didn’t want Ethan here but now that he’s gone I just want him back. I need his beautiful smile it’s too serious most of the time but so lov
ing and those deep dark eyes that I get lost in. He can’t come back until I can control myself though; I don’t want him to see me reacting to him like that again. It hurts me to see him suffering like that. The demon that controls him needs to be destroyed and I’m going to do everything I can to make it happen. I can’t believe he was punished this way in the first place. I won’t stop until I can help him and grant him his angelhood or whatever it is that I’ll be granting him. I just need to get out of the house, even if I just go for a walk. I grab my coat and head out. A nice walk along the creek should help me clear my head and get myself together so I can be with Ethan without literally freaking out. I can’t let the evil get to me alongside the stress of seeing colors surrounding people. I just have to keep reminding myself that this is what brought us together and without the evil and my ancient soul meant to save him, I wouldn’t have met him.
I’ve been so consumed with the situation with Avarie and Ethan that I hadn’t realized how gloomy the weather is outside. Here we are in summer, it should to be clear skies all day, on top of all the stress I’m feeling, the sky is gray. The earth looks the way I’m feeling – sad and lonely. I need to see Avarie and even though I don’t like confronting my feelings, I know that I need to deal with this now. I need to find out what all of these newfound abilities mean for me and where I go from here. The auras, seeing the evil within Ethan, it’s all so much!
If only I had someone to talk to, just letting everything out would help me feel better without actually having to get any answers. It makes me wish that Kim was here right now. On the other side of the creek, the black clouds are rolling in, and the summer heat is filled with the humidity. It gives the forest a wet, dark night appeal, and for whatever reason my body is drawn in. Feeling the forest calling me I continue on. When I jump over the moving water, my right foot lands slightly into the creek, leaving my shoe and the bottom of my pant leg wet and I know I should probably turn around but I can’t. The urge is overwhelming. It feels like something is pulling my body and drawing me in. I start walking faster in through the trees. I don’t know where I’m going, but my body seems to know the way. Then I stop. In front of me is the opening in the forest where I first saw Ethan’s glorious silky black wings unfold before me. But he isn’t here. It’s empty and dark, no longer gloriously filled with the light of the sun, just the small patch of grass and the open gray sky above. It feels lonely being here without him. I walk over and plop down on the ground and bury my face in my hands. I want to cry but can’t. I feel lost and helpless in all of this.
“Lindsay! Is that you? Are you alright?” As soon as I hear the voice I know who it is and jump up without thought and run to him sobbing and throwing my arms around his neck.
“Derrick! No I’m not alright!” Now the tears that have been bottled up begin to release.
“It’s okay, Lindsay. Whatever’s bothering you, you can talk to me about it.” We stand and then he’s holding me tight with his strong lean arms, I put my weight on him hugging him and sobbing into his shoulder.
“I’m sorry, Derrick. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I think I’ve lost all control. I have so many things going on, and I think it’s finally all catching up to me.” I don’t know what’s come over me, but it’s like all my emotions have bubbled over at once. It feels good to be hugged and held after what I experienced with Ethan just a short while ago.
“I’m here for you, Lindsay. Everything will be okay. I’m going to make sure of it. You are a special person, and you shouldn’t be feeling like this. Is it Ethan that’s causing this? I swear if he’s hurt you…”
I cut him off, “No! Well I guess some of its him, but it’s not really anything that he has done to me, it’s just, well it’s complicated I guess. It isn’t his fault, though. He would never hurt me, Derrick.” I can’t help but feel defensive and move away from him slightly.
“If you would talk to me, Lindsay, I know I can help you. I want to help you.” Little does he know there isn’t anything he can do to make this situation any better. I really wish I could confide in him, but I know there’s no way he would understand or even believe me. He’d probably tell me I’m crazy.
“I can’t, Derrick. Trust me, I wish I could but there’s no way you would understand.” As I stand back looking at him I take in his bright white aura surrounding him and catch my breath at the stunning sight.
“You’re wrong, Lindsay. Like I told you before, I know more about Ethan than you do. I know everything, Lindsay, and I’m here to help you. I summoned you here into the forest because I sensed that you were upset. You need me Lindsay and part of my Destiny is to protect you from those like Ethan.”
I raise my voice in a tone of confusion, “WHAT? What are you talking about?”
Derrick’s manner remains calm, “You know what I’m talking about. Ethan is a demon, pure evil. He’s unworthy of your love. There is nothing safe or good about him Lindsay, and you need to stay away from him otherwise he will end up taking everything that makes you who you are. That is what his kind does. They have no remorse for human life. No matter how much it seems like he cares about you, he doesn’t. Please trust me Lindsay; all I want is to help you.”
It takes all I have to ignore the anger that is starting to boil within me just due to the fact that I don’t like him talking about Ethan that way. “How do you know all this?”
With everything that is going on now I find out that Derrick is somehow involved as well. Maybe he knows something about me and my soul and what I’m supposed to do with my new sight. I know Ethan’s good and nothing Derrick says or does can convince me otherwise, but maybe he does know more than me and can help me. I need to find a way to save Ethan, and I won’t be able to do it without someone’s help in guiding me.
“I know because I come from the same place that Ethan comes from except I chose a different path then him. I’m an angel, Lindsay.”
Even though I’m aware that Ethan is a Fallen Angel turned evil, for some reason it’s harder for me to believe Derrick. The whole situation in general is unbelievable. “An angel? You’re kidding, right?”
“You mean to tell me that you believe that Ethan’s a demon, but you don’t believe that I’m an angel?”
I guess I didn’t think of it like that. But Derrick? This is the side of me that I know I need to open to all the possibilities that are in front of me. “Sorry. You just threw me off. I wasn’t expecting that. What do you mean that you come from the same place as Ethan?” As soon as I question him, he swiftly removes his outer shirt and hunches his shoulders in. Then in one move he arches his back tilting his head to the sky and two glorious wings white as clouds unfold from behind him. I’m in absolute astonishment of their beauty. They’re just as huge as Ethan’s but stunningly white, and each feather looks like a soft cloud. I blink my eyes a couple of times not fully confident that I’m awake. He’s beautiful and the white of his aura radiates off of him in an image that is created with perfection. Ethan is just as stunning, but it’s different. Ethan is dark, a mysterious type of gorgeous, while Derrick is breathtakingly pure, and there is no darkness lurking within him. I can’t say anything; all I can do is stand here and admire him. My jaw might be dropped open, but I’m too stunned by his beauty to notice.
“We stood by God’s side. We were in his group of highest in command, when he made plans to end mankind due to all the evil that was here on earth we refused to stand by him. You see, he was disappointed in mankind and what he had created. He felt that people no longer deserved to inhabit the earth. Ethan and I were included in a group of others that saw the love and kindness that could come from humans and saw that even though there were some who were consumed with evil, there were so many more that were filled with love. Mankind doesn’t deserve to be eliminated. When we went against God, he cast us down to earth, Lucifer included. Lucifer was one of God’s closest Angels and when God cast us down to earth to live here for eternity Lucifer was very angry. He became filled with ange
r and evil as did so many of the others. They made the choice to follow Lucifer in his descent, to be consumed by the evil that Lucifer was a part of. Ethan was one of them who chose that path. In his fall to earth, a demon is what he became and all he’s filled with is pure evil – the evil that Lucifer had been hiding for so long. He survives by feeding off the souls of humans. The ones of us, who chose to still stand by God even though he cast us down to earth, have chosen to do whatever we can to rid this planet of the demons.”
“Wow. Ethan hasn’t really told me everything yet, but there’s one thing you’re wrong about, he is not evil. He may have a demon living inside of him but there’s still the part of him that wants to choose good. I saw the demon that he’s been telling me about.”
Derrick seems slightly surprised. “That’s not possible. I was not aware that you would have the power to see the demon.”
My body stiffens as I growl at him in anger. “You know who I am?” I’m not sure why the hell I’m directing my anger at Derrick but I hate that I’m the only one that’s clueless. “I’m not even sure any more who I am or what I’m supposed to do. I went and saw a witch, Avarie and she did something to me. Now I can see auras and I can see what Ethan really looks like. She said that I’m the soul that they’ve been waiting for to save Ethan and all of the others like him.”
It takes him a moment to reply and I can see the confusion in his eyes, “The Redeemer…I knew that you were special, Lindsay, but I wasn’t sure until now. There have been stories that a human created by God with a soul that could save those demons that are worthy but I don’t believe they can be saved. There is no hope and we’ve already organized an army to take them out.”
Take them out? I know that I can help Ethan and I won’t let anything stop me from trying. “You’re wrong, Derrick. I can save him, but I need help. I need help learning my abilities. If I can see the Ethan beyond the evil inside him and see that he deserves to be redeemed, then I must figure out how to save him.”
Fallen Desire Page 16