Fallen Desire

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Fallen Desire Page 15

by N. L. Echeverria


  “I do feel it, Lindsay, but not like you,” Ethan says. “This type of energy is made for you. It’s what you were created for. It’s a part of you. You’ll be able to create energy and heal not only demons from the evil that consumes them but you’ll have the power to bring life to people and the earth around you. She’ll teach you to center yourself and you’ll learn your abilities and learn to control the elements around you.”

  I’m intrigued by his enthusiasm, “Wow. I didn’t realize it was this extensive, even though I’m a little scared, there’s something about this place that makes me feel like everything’s going to be okay.”

  “It’s the energy of the elements that are calming you and reassuring you. It’s what your soul is attracted to and your soul can feel the power that they give you. Your body feels a sense of familiarity with the magic. It’s inside you; we just have to bring it out.” It all feels so real now that I’m here and feeling these emotions I’ve never experienced before. I can’t even begin to imagine what Avarie is going to be having me do. I wonder if we will be performing séances to the Moon God or worshiping some higher being and asking for powers. Just as my mind begins to wander, Avarie walks back in the room.

  “Well, I hope while I was preparing the coffee you had time to really take in the feeling of the elements that surround you, Lindsay.” She’s carrying a tray with three cups of coffee and a plate of chocolate chip cookies, her face lit up with a warming smile. Her appearance is youthful, but her spirit I can tell, is old and wise.

  “I definitely feel something, but I don’t know what it is. I don’t even know if I’m aware of what these elements are. All I know is that being in this house I get a sense of life and power – a sense of energy flowing into me.”

  She looks at me like I just answered a particularly difficult question, “Well dear, that’s exactly what it is. If you’re anything like what I read about then these elements empower you to the point that you have total control of everything around you but these are things you’ll learn as we go. Today I just want to try some exercises with you that will help you center yourself and open your mind to the true sight that you possess.”

  I take a sip of the coffee and a bite of a cookie and the sweetness fills my body. “Um, okay. Here?”

  She stands, “Actually if you will follow me down the hallway here I have a room that I like to use to center myself and perform rituals.”

  I leave the coffee on the table and as I follow her down the hallway I continue to see artifacts of the sun and the moon and many colors surround them including red, yellow, green and blue. Each item is facing a different direction. Not all well decorated if you ask me, but still pretty I guess. We stop at a door that’s been painted green, entirely one shade of green. Almost the same shade as Avarie’s eyes. It seems odd for the fact that the other doors are all painted white.

  “Okay. Before we can go in here we need to say a quick cleansing spell. This room is pure and no evil has entered so Ethan I’m going to have to ask for you to stay out here. No offense to you, I hope you understand.”

  “I understand. I’ll wait in the living room if you don’t mind.” I get a glimpse of sadness and regret from the expression on Ethan’s face when Avarie basically refers to him as evil. I want to speak up and give her a piece of my mind! Ethan is the farthest thing from evil. But instead I stay quiet, and Ethan kisses me on the cheek and turns back to the living room.

  “Lindsay, I need you to repeat after me. I’ll say it once and then we’ll repeat it together in order to cleanse our energy of any potential evil or impurity.” I close my eyes as she places her palm on my forehead and she begins to recite what seems to be some sort of poem.

  “As I place my palm upon her skin, let my energy flow within. Allow the light to reach her soul, enabling her to grow. I call upon the spirit world to guide me in this righteous path. Open up her mind to the wonders that you provide and let her true self shine. Rid her of all impurities, lend us the power to be clean of any evil that hides within and release it. And open up the door of life to bring us all our abilities. So mote it be!”

  I want you to clear your mind and only allow good energy to flow within you. Now Lindsay, please repeat what I say.” I open my eyes and already feel lighter.

  “I call upon the elements. Give me the energy to feed my soul, from earth, wind, water and fire I will grow. Guide me to my destiny and allow my soul to be set free. Open my mind to all the possibilities and empower me with my deepest energy that will give me the guidance that I need. In the path that has been set in front of me.”

  I repeat exactly what she says, and it is as if I can feel the energy of all the elements flow through me as I speak. It’s a sensation like no other. My body shivers at the newfound energy flowing within and I have a sense of satisfaction, like I’ve been waiting for this moment forever. Without saying anything, Avarie turns to the door behind her and opens it. Walking into the room, it is like nothing I’ve ever seen before. It feels as if we’re in another world. The room is embedded with trees and plants from corner to corner, and appears to be never-ending. Flowers bloom all around us and in the center is the largest water fall I’ve ever seen. I feel like I’m standing in the middle of a tropical forest.

  “Is this real?” I say. “I’ve never seen anything like it?” I can’t tell if I’m dreaming or just gone crazy from all the stress and I’ve started imagining things. That or she drugged me with that coffee.

  “It’s as real as you want it to be, Lindsay. You see, this room is very special. Each person who walks in sees something different. You’ll see what resembles you best. Some individuals only see an empty room, and that is because their souls are empty. Others will only see evil. Please tell me, Lindsay, what is it that you see?”

  “Everything around us is so alive and vibrant. It’s colorful and filled with plants and trees and flowers. There’s running water and a waterfall as large as I could ever imagine. It’s extremely stunning, and the most beautiful environment I’ve ever been in. We’re surrounded by the earth, and life is everywhere.”

  She nods in approval, “Interesting, it’s a representation of you, Lindsay. You are life and pure living energy. It’s symbolizing what you’re meant for as well. Purity is what you will be destined to give. I want you to open yourself to me while we’re in here. We need to clear your mind of anything that may be holding you back from your true capabilities. You will need to embrace your powers and the destiny that has been set in front of you.”

  “I’ll do anything to help Ethan. It’s all that matters right now.” I still have no clue how I’m even supposed to help him, but if he says I’m the only one who can save him then I’ll do whatever it takes. I’m sure the how will come as I go. I want nothing more than to help him and hopefully help others like him to find the goodness that they hold within. To free Ethan is all that I can hope for. I love him so much and know that he’s suffering. If I can just find a way to set him free of the evil inside so he can finally be at peace.

  “Yes, Lindsay. I can see that you love him. But before you will be able to help him, we have to open your mind so that you’re able to see the world and the people around you for what they are. Now why don’t you concentrate on a quiet and peaceful place in here and take us there.”

  As I close my eyes, I think of Ethan, his beautiful face, and irresistible touch that sparks a light within me, and I open my eyes, and we’re standing behind the water fall in the middle of the room. The water is flowing in front of us, and the earth is above and around us. The sound is peaceful and I don’t think I would ever want to leave this moment if it weren’t for Ethan waiting out there for me. I sit down on the nearest rock that looks comfortable enough and just take in the smell of the fresh water and the earth.

  “Wow, this is beautiful. You seem to be in touch with your peaceful side, which may make it easier for the spirits to enter into you.”

  “You can see it, too?” I ask.

  She never seems
to stop smiling, “Yes, I can now that you have brought me into your world.” I don’t know why, but the thought of leaving Ethan a whole lot longer is starting to get to me.

  “What do you mean by spirits? I thought you were going to help me learn my abilities.” I want to learn more about my purpose here, but Ethan is really all I want and I don’t know how long this is going to take.

  “Lindsay, I need you to concentrate on opening yourself up and imagine energy and the spirits flowing in your body. You need to clear your mind for this to work and give me your full concentration. Don’t take your eyes off of me but at the same time try to relax your body and give into whatever feelings you get.”

  Deep breaths, I can do this, “Okay. I’m sure that won’t be too hard.” Sitting on the stone, I allow my body to relax and look Avarie in the eyes as she places a hand on each side of my head – but doesn’t touch me – and begins to speak this incredible chant:

  “From the ground that grows beneath, open up her spirit from within and bring out the secrets that lie in her deepest strength. Bring her the true sight. Spirits of Earth, Water, Fire and Wind, please come to her so that she may fight all the demons that call upon her, give her your strength and she will find her way. Spirit flow within and allow her to see the truth behind all meaning and bring to her what she seeks. Let her see, hear and feel all things truthful for the power of true sight belongs within the redeemer.”

  Her hair is glowing red and moving like the flame of a fire all around her as she speaks to the spirits. My eyes are locked on hers, and I can’t seem to budge from my place here on this stone. I can feel and see the energy that she’s calling upon. It is flowing from her hands through my body. It is bright lights of multiple colors of red, blue, green and yellow moving between like a heavy mist. Avarie’s eyes, illuminated with emerald green, stare down at me. The sight of her is literally stunning. The energy encircling us is empowering and beautiful. Colors intertwining with each other and moving between the both of us and as soon as she speaks the last words everything goes black, and it feels like I’ve fallen in an empty abyss.

  I’m standing in an empty space with nothing but darkness surrounding me until I see him. Ethan! He’s standing in front of me but is too far for me to reach. His appearance is breathtaking. His hair is lying perfectly and his porcelain skin is remarkable. I want so much to walk toward him and touch him but something tells me this isn’t the Ethan I know. Even though he looks the same and his appearance alone pulls me to him, I can see something different in his eyes. They are as black as the emptiness that surrounds us. It isn’t the Ethan I know inside of the body that stands in front of me. This must be the evil part of him, because when I look into these eyes all I see is evil and darkness. There is nothing good about this man standing in front of me, and as I begin to look at him more, I realize I don’t know this person at all. I reach my hand out to touch him and right before my fingers can touch his arm he’s gone. “Lindsay!” I hear his voice and realize I must have been dreaming. I’m in Avarie’s house when I open my eyes to find myself lying on her red couch in the living room. Ethan is over me, but there’s something different about him. He has this glow surrounding him. It is a dark red mucky color with black specks and white all around the edges. It causes my stomach to wrench with a pain deep in my gut. Something’s wrong, but I don’t know what it is. Avarie has a glow of bright emerald green with violet lining the green surrounding her. Now I’m really starting to lean toward the possibility of drugs in the coffee.

  “You okay, Lindsay?” Ethan’s face is filled with concern and worry.

  “Yeah, I think so. What happened?”

  “You fainted and I had to bring you out here. I finished the chant, and then you were out. Do you feel different? See anything differently? The elements must have been hard on your body since this is the first time you’ve been exposed to them.” I’m not sure what to say or if the colors I see surrounding her and Ethan are even really there or are just my mind playing tricks on me.

  I decide not to mention it. “I feel okay, I don’t think I feel different at all.” Then I see it. I look at Ethan and see the man that I met in the darkness a moment earlier. I can see in his eyes the battle that he fights with this stranger within. I want to grab him and hold him and let him know that everything is going to be better and that he won’t have to harbor this evil any longer but I can’t. I don’t know if there’s anything I’m going to be able to do to help and even if there is I still don’t know how. All I know at this moment is that I want Ethan to take me out of here and take me home.

  SEVENTEEN

  His body lying behind and pressed against me is all I need to comfort me. Even if the car ride home from Avarie’s was a little awkward, it felt right to finally be in his arms. I couldn’t help but constantly catch glances of him in the car ride home, admiring the brilliant colors surrounding him. As he wraps his arms tighter around my waist, I inhale deeply, readying myself to face him again, though still a little shaken up from the images of him I had while at Avarie’s. I wiggle from his tight grasp and decide I’ve got to face this fear straight on. I turn to face the man I’ve fallen in love with in the very short time that I’ve known him. I look into those familiar black eyes but the Ethan I love is gone. My fears are real and I’m wrapped in the arms of evil. I see the true blackness that hides within those eyes, as the creature reveals himself through Ethan – a demon lurking within him and waiting to take full control. When I look at him, I can see the emptiness that I was surrounded by less than an hour earlier. It’s this creature deep inside him that makes me want to pull away no matter how much I love him. The evil that I can now clearly see is overwhelming. Even though I want nothing more than to be with the Ethan I love, as soon as I sit up on my bed and he moves in toward me for a kiss my instinct pulls me away. The fear in me takes over, and the love dissipates. I begin to tremble, as I am in the presence of true evil. In hopes that I’m still dreaming I look into his eyes once more and the creatures’ true form appears in front of me. Before I know it, I’m off the bed and backed up against my bedroom door as if he’s infected with some communicable disease. Even though his expression shows immediate confusion and hurt, no matter how bad I want to hold him and let him know I want to help, I just can’t bring myself to go to him. I can see what he is, and it frightens me.

  “Lindsay! What’s wrong?”

  He starts to move from my bed and toward me, and I jerk backward even though there’s nowhere to go – but this slight movement stops Ethan and he stays back.

  “What’s the matter? You aren’t in pain from what Avarie did are you?” Concern continues to ring in his voice, and his expression shows that he knows I’m afraid of him.

  My heart races as my back remains against the door and my eyes remain on him afraid that if I look away he may attack. The color around him continues to flicker and change. I can’t shake the fear inside me. The last person I ever thought would frighten me was Ethan, but now I’m not sure if I can be near him without seeing the demon inside. I can feel the demons energy and I get the feeling that it wants nothing more than to feed on my soul. “No, I’m not in pain, Ethan, but I see something and it frightens me. I don’t know if I can explain it to you. I think it is best if you just stay back.”

  “You have to, Lindsay! You have to tell me! Please let me help you. Tell me what you see!” The worry rings in Ethan’s voice showing all his vulnerabilities, but regardless what he says or does the fear is overwhelming, and I can’t let him in.

  “Everything Ethan! I see everything, and it scares me! I can’t explain it because I don’t know what it is that I’m seeing and why it’s making me feel this way.” Even though I’m talking to Ethan, I still can’t help but see this demon through his eyes. It keeps me backed up against my door, and I can see that Ethan wants nothing more than to hold and comfort me. I can sense his emotions almost as if they are my own, running through my body but the demon is still in there waiting for the perf
ect moment to attack. It is waiting for Ethan to become weak, to let his guard down.

  “Everything? I need you to talk to me, Lindsay, so that I can help you. Tell me exactly what you see!”

  I’m so confused, “I want so much to be near you and hold you but when I look at you Ethan I see…I see the demon that is in you, and regardless of the love that I have for you something deep inside me is taking over and causing me to fear you. Ethan, not only do I see the evil inside you, I can feel the presence of it and it wants me. I can feel and see the battle you’re fighting within yourself and the demon wants my soul. The presence of evil is overwhelming and I don’t think I can handle it.” I shake my head saddened by my thoughts.

  “I knew it! This is what I was afraid of. Your abilities will give you the power to help demons like me, but for you to help them you have to be able to see them. You have to look deeper, Lindsay. You have to see beyond the evil to know if you can save me. Your mind has just been opened to this world and you have to realize that you’re stronger than any evil and stronger than me – please, so that you can move past the evil and begin to learn your powers. I can help you, Lindsay, but you have to concentrate and look inside me and see my soul and you will see that I’m not the demon. It is just the evil that has taken over me, and you’re the only one that can set me free of it. I need you, Lindsay. Please don’t give up on me now.”

  “I don’t know if I can. That’s not the only thing I see. Avarie and you both have this glow of color that surrounds you. At first in Avarie’s home I thought that it was my eyes deceiving me, but you still have it surrounding you, Ethan.” He almost looks relieved at that.

 

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