Fallen Desire

by N. L. Echeverria

  “Good morning sweetie! How are you this morning?” He asks.

  “Good Dad.” His morning hugs are always so comforting and nice, but this morning my heart melts in his embrace.

  “We’ve got to head out. You enjoy your day and don’t get into too much trouble.” I feel like recently I’ve been alone in everything and it feels good to get comfort from my parents even if they don’t know what’s going on with me.

  “I promise Daddy, I won’t.” I’m feeling relieved that my mom hasn’t asked me about the job yet because I really don’t like having to lie. She has been really busy with work and probably hasn’t even thought about it, which I hope she doesn’t think about it. I just don’t know if I have the energy to try and lie to her right now. My mom hugs me then they both leave with a soft shut of my bedroom door. I shut my window and plop back down on my bed face first.

  Now that I sort of have the auras down and what they mean, I really need to learn some abilities or magic. I’m actually not really sure what to even call it. I think I was lying face down for about fifteen minutes with thoughts running through my head of Ethan and me out in the open sky with his firm arms holding onto me tightly. His soft lips keep running through my mind and they feel incredibly soft against mine. Oh how I miss him, his smell, and his touch. I know I can’t see him right now; he won’t come unless I call on him. I’m not even sure how to do that but I guess he’ll know when I need him. I’m really hoping that Derrick shows up today. I need to keep moving forward and to keep learning something every day because the more time that passes the more I’m missing Ethan, eventually I won’t be able to take staying away from him anymore. I do need to take a shower, though, and get myself ready.

  As soon as I step out of the shower and pull my hair back into a ponytail, I hear a noise in my room. I always keep open the door to the bathroom, which is connected to my bedroom. It almost sounded like something crashing on the floor. I grab my towel and wrap it around my body. It’s almost too small; it barely covers my breasts and upper thighs. I peak my head around the corner but don’t see anyone or anything that looks out of place so I move out into the room and as soon as I’m in sight of my window I see Derrick standing here. His dark hair flows from the small breeze coming from the window and his blue eyes are glued to me. He has his wings out and tucked slightly behind his back. I think I know where people got the phrase ‘He looks like an angel from heaven’; I’m stunned by his unbelievably gorgeous appearance. “Jeez Derrick, don’t you knock?” Thrown off by the emotions surging through me, I begin to feel annoyed. I hate that he makes me feel this way.

  “Sorry. I got the sensation that you needed me but from here it looks you’re doing pretty well.” His eyes move from my head to my toes.

  I automatically blush having the feeling that I’m exposing way too much in this tiny towel. How could I not? I have this gorgeous Angel standing in front of me admiring my body. I don’t even get that many humans looking at me the way he does. I definitely don’t hate it, though. It makes my stomach clench in pleasure. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to seeing you with huge angel wings coming out from behind you,” I say. As soon as I say it, his wings are gone, and he’s pulling out a white T-shirt that he had tucked in the back of his pants and puts it on.

  “Is that better?” He asks.

  I didn’t really mean for him to put them away. They are just so overwhelmingly stunning, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to seeing him like that. “I guess. I really just meant that it’s different for me.”

  “I don’t want to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.”

  “Don’t worry about that, I don’t think I can ever feel uncomfortable around you.” Maybe a little bit shy lately as he continues to come onto me, but I don’t want to tell him that. Again he’s illuminated by this beautiful white glow all around him and the most brilliant of blues edging the outside of his aura. It’s truly an amazing sight.

  “I came by in hopes that we could spend the day together,” he says. “I have this book that was given to me a long time ago by a witch and it has the spells in it that belong to the Redeemer. As you know I don’t feel that Ethan or anyone else like him can be saved, but I do want to help you learn your abilities. I’ll leave you be so that you may get ready, and then I would like you to meet me outside. We will head to the opening within the forest where it is private and we can begin with some simple practices of using the elements around you to gain control and the power that lies within you.”

  Before I can say okay, he turns around, pulling his shirt back off and placing it in the back of his pants and is out the window, wings expanded and gone up into the air. I wonder if he becomes invisible to others around when he’s flying like that. I would think that someone would eventually spot him. I know Ethan has that ability but he says it uses a lot of his energy. Guess I’ll throw on my jeans and T-shirt with my grey hoodie and my black Converse. I don’t really like Derrick seeing me when I’m not put together so I put on a little mascara and makeup. No matter what I do, I can’t deny the attraction that I feel for him. When I’m with him all I can see is him and all thought of Ethan tends to drift away. I have to try my best to not let that happen, no matter how compelling he seems to be. He’s standing by the creek that runs in the back just glowing white and blue. He definitely is an angel, and I see him so clearly now for who he is, just like I see Ethan. My stomach knots at the images of the demon within him and the desire it had for me. The weather is still chilly today but seems to be getting a little warmer, and there’s no rain, thank goodness. The woods are particularly noisy today with the wind blowing the leaves and branches all around. Derrick is silent the whole way to the clearing. I focus on the nature around me to keep myself calm though I can’t help but be nervous about trying my first spell. As soon as we enter the clearing we stand in the middle and let the ancient trees encircle us. He opens the book, going straight to the page he wants. The book is old and a battered brownish color with nothing on the cover, no title, no picture absolutely nothing to distinguish it. I can see the pages inside are delicate and stained with age.

  “Lindsay, there’s a spell in here that I want you to try. You’ll be pulling in power from all of the elements and you’ll be able to gain their energy and use it. Don’t worry if you don’t get the hang of it right away. It takes a lot of concentration and practice for even the most gifted of witches and it will take a lot of energy out of you once we’re done here.”

  I don’t feel ready but, “Okay. I’m ready to give anything a try.” I thought if I said it I would feel better but I feel my hands begin to shake and sweat. This is all so foreign to me and the last thing I want to do is end up hurting myself or worse someone else.

  “Don’t be nervous. The only damage you can do is to the trees around us. Let’s begin, I want you to put your full energy and mind into the words that you repeat. Imagine the earth coming up from the ground in through your feet and becoming a part of you, imagine the wind moving your body and wrapping around you like a blanket. Think about the ocean or a river covering your body and sinking into you and finally think of the flames of a fire and feel the burn of it on your skin. I want you to embrace these elements and take them all in as a part of you. So do as I say and repeat after me.” I look at him and nod my head and then close my eyes.

  “We will begin with earth. Please face the direction of north.” I wasn’t really sure which way was north, and I would ask, but he touches my shoulders gently turns me to a specific direction. “Now repeat after me:

  “Earth below my feet, trees that surround me lend me your energy and show me your power. Give me your strength and guide me so that I may reach my destiny. I wish to use my powers to assist those who are in need”.

  While repeating Derrick’s words, I begin to feel the earth move below my feet, and then I feel this jolt or surge like energy rush from my feet to my head as if the earth’s energy is running through me. I can imagine the rain fore
st that was in the room at Avarie’s house and seeing everything with brilliant color and moving all around me and my body moving in tune with nature. “Now Lindsay, I’ll turn you to the east.” He gently places his hands on my shoulders again and moves me in the necessary direction.

  “Air that surrounds me day and night and gives me life, I ask you to lend me your power and energy. To guide me in my destiny and give me the ability to help those who are in need”

  As soon as I begin saying the words back to Derrick, the air gushes around me, forcing my hair straight up to the sky swirling in the wind. I take in a deep breath and feel the energy of the air consume my lungs. Without speaking, Derrick puts his hands on me again and moves me so that I’m facing south. Again I repeat his words:

  “Fire I call upon you and your heated flame to give me the ability to create the power within me so that I may physically produce a flame of pure energy. So that I may help those in need.”

  The heat in my body is coming from the inside out to my skin, and I can feel myself burning up, but it doesn’t hurt. I feel this energy ignite inside of me that gives me this overwhelming sensation of power and heat. I have this sensation as if I could produce flame from my hands at this moment if I tried but without opening my eyes I take in the feeling and imagine a flame forming from my hands and circling around me completely in my control.

  The energies of the elements continue to flow within me, and then Derrick turns me one last time and faces me toward the west:

  “Water that consumes most of this earth and holds energy beyond belief I ask help of you in giving me the power to control all the elements together. I need to obtain my full potential so that I may help those in need. Please provide me with your soothing flow when needed and your quick and hard power as well when necessary”

  I know that there’s no water in the forest at this time, but I feel like I just stepped out of the pool from a swim. As I say the words back to Derrick, I feel water falling from my head to my feet, and I can imagine myself in the middle of a storm in the ocean with water splashing at all sides of me but again I’m in full control of it.

  I’ve never felt anything before like taking in the elements of Earth, Air, Fire and Water. As soon as I feel the sensations of the elements subsiding, I begin to open my eyes and see Derrick standing right in front of me. “Wow! This is amazing!” I can’t begin to articulate how I’m feeling right now.

  “Were you able to feel all of the elements? Most witches usually only feel one at the very most on their first attempt, so don’t feel bad if you were not able to take in the energy of all four.”

  “Are you kidding me? I feel all the elements as if they are right here in front of and inside of me. I can feel the earth moving and the fire burning inside of me. I feel the air fill my lungs and swirl around me rapidly. The water is powerful. I saw myself inside the ocean in the middle of a storm and was in complete control of the water surrounding me.”

  He looks at me incredulously, “I can’t believe it! I don’t think this has ever happened. I mean I know you’re more powerful than a witch, but for you to be able to take on all four elements at once in your first attempt is incredible.”

  I’m so anxious to start using what’s inside me I can barely contain myself. “Okay, so what do we do now?”

  He smiles, “Now we practice.” I ball up my fist and close my eyes and can feel all the elements within me giving me incredible power. I pull in those energies and direct all of it toward my hands as I lift my hands out in front of me directly at a tree and open my eyes imagining the demon that is inside Ethan, and I release all of the energy and a huge surge of power comes from the palms of my hands and a blue surge of light soars straight at the tree and completely vaporizes it. The tree is literally gone, and I feel all the energy of the elements come back inside my body and fill me with the full power once again.

  “I know now that you are the redeemer, I never expected for you to be able to control that much energy in your first try. This is amazing, Lindsay. Let’s try it again, but this time I want you to use your power to bring that tree back to life. Give it the energy from the earth and give it life. You can use the energy from the elements to pass on life.”

  Without really thinking too much about it, I close my eyes and ball my hands up into fists at my sides and concentrated on the energy from the Earth, Fire, Water and Air that is still flowing powerfully inside of me and imagine the energy flowing from my hands to the now empty space where the tree was just moments ago. As I move my hands out in front of me I can see and feel the energy move from my body and into the empty space where I obliterated the tree and with my eyes closed I see the tree growing from a seed into an old beautiful tree like the others in the forest. I open my eyes and see that the empty space is now filled again with new life. A new tree! Not the same one that I had destroyed but a new healthier tree is now in front of me.

  “Wow, this is so awesome Derrick.” I couldn’t help but let the excitement show in my voice. If I can create a tree out of nothing imagine what else I can do. “Can you imagine what kinds of things I can do with this power?”

  “Yes Lindsay the power that you have is beyond anything I could ever create. This is what your soul was designed to do. You’ll need a lot of practice, it’ll wear on your body. This is good for today. Let’s give our thanks to the elements before we finish here. When you’re done with any chants you need to always remember to give thanks when releasing the elements from your control.”

  Without thinking it through I begin to give thanks to each element one by one, I really don’t want to stop now but I won’t argue;

  “Earth, I give thanks for lending me your power of life and never ending energy, I release you.”

  I can feel the energy of the earth move from my head down to my feet and back into the ground below me.

  “Air, thank you for lending me your smooth flow of energy which allows me to put life back into that or those that are deserving, I release you.”

  I feel my breath being taken out of me but not harshly and only for a split second and then a gush of wind rushes and blows around me and up into the sky above.

  “Fire that lights the way and keeps us warm. Thank you for lending me your energy and power, I release you.”

  I can feel heat move from the inside of me and out through my fingertips.

  “Water, thank you for lending me your ability to move the energies through your waves and have such great force, I release you.”

  I can smell the scent of the ocean and feel the wet of the water on my skin and the energy of water withdrew from me.

  I fall down to the ground to my knees and take a deep breath. It didn’t seem like I really did enough to feel so tired but I guess Derrick’s right – it takes a lot of energy out of you. While I still had the elements inside of me I had their power to keep me feeling strong and as soon as I released them I feel the immediate onset of weakness.

  “You okay, Lindsay? I know it’s a lot and that’s why we have to practice a little at a time and build up your strength so that you can use your abilities without it killing you afterwards.”

  “Killing me? What do you mean? I just feel tired that’s all.”

  He looks at me with concern, “Yes, but you only did a little bit of magic, and if you were to do too much the energy alone that is taken from you will kill you if you aren’t prepared. We need to build up your strength to the point that you can do an endless amount of magic without it affecting you.”

  I don’t really know what to say. I would stand up and show that I’m not weak, but I am and I can’t even get to my feet. Derrick automatically reaches down and lifts me like I was as light as a feather and cradles me in his arms and walks the whole way back to my house. His shirt smells like the ocean and fresh bloomed flowers on an early spring morning, and I can’t help but bury my face into his chest and close my eyes dreaming of him holding me like this forever, his arms are long and muscular and his body is filled with war
mth. He’s beyond comforting. He is incredible. I could have never done any of this without him.

  TWENTY ONE

  Ethan

  I can’t take watching them – watching him helping her, knowing that he’s only helping her for his own benefit. I know that the only reason she could possibly feel attraction toward him is because of what he is, and he like the rest of us just naturally have that effect on humans. But she isn’t human. She’s more than human, much more. Is it possible that she may be having true feelings for Derrick? I know I could help her too and I would truly have her best interests in mind. He could kill her pushing her the way he is. Bringing a tree back after destroying it! Putting life back into something takes so much strength, it could kill her, no wonder she couldn’t stand up once she was done. I know I have to stay away from her until I can see that she truly wants me near her. I don’t want to see her frightened the way she was the last time I saw her. That isn’t how I want her to see me. I hate the demon that lives inside of me. I hate the way it makes me feel and that I have to be at war with the evil every minute to keep myself from being consumed by it once again. I won’t let it happen, not now that I have Lindsay in my life to lead me in the right direction. The direction of redemption. I refuse to let her out of my sight and I’ll continue to stay close until I can feel that she needs me again. I refuse to allow Derrick to keep her from me. Lindsay has so much power in her hands she has no idea what she controls. She’s stronger than any Angel or Demon alive. Her abilities are much like a witch’s but they’re so much stronger. Once she masters the use of the elements and sees what that energy can do, I know she will choose the right path and help those who need it. She will use her powers for what they were created for. She will redeem those who have fallen and chosen the path of evil but wish to come back to the right side.