The Things We Don't See

by Jessi Brazzell

  “Yes, Rosalie. What are you cooking for us tonight?”

  She proudly waves her hand across the food decorating the counter, “Lamb shank braised with white wine and a hint of rosemary.”

  I smiled back to her and nodded my approval. I had every intention of drinking my dinner again so I wasn’t really concerned with the menu, but she looked so pleased with her choice.

  The smell of dinner fills the entire living room and I anxiously check my watch. Carson still hasn’t called and Mila and Brian are going to be here any minute. It is after six now and I made it a point to schedule a reminder in Carson’s phone telling him that we have dinner plans at seven. I try him again, but still no answer.

  I stare out over the coast at the sailboats gliding across the water and let my imagination paint out the possibilities of where those boats could take me. I thought I would enjoy the sailboats as a view, but now I envy them because all I want to do is take one far, far away from here. I could just run away and never look back. Is it even really running away when you leave nothing behind?

  I jump when I hear the knock on the door and listen while Rosalie greets Mila and Brian. She takes Mila’s coat and I smile at them, feeling my own embarrassment for the missing guest of honor building.

  “Hello,” I say, uncomfortably looking back to Rosalie. “Rosalie, could you pour some wine please?”

  Brian and Mila walk into the living room with me and I watch Brian looking around desperately. “Carson must be held up with work, he should be here anytime,” I tell him.

  Brian sits stiffly onto the chair; his eyes are almost sympathetic and I know that he knows Carson is not working.

  “I will try him again,” I offer, avoiding eye contact with them as I hurry to the kitchen. “Carson, Brian and Mila are here. Where are you?” I spit into the phone with Rosalie watching me.

  Brian’s impatience has been apparent for the last thirty minutes and I finally take a breath as he leans over to kiss Mila on the cheek. “I am going to go check on Carson,” he says hesitantly and adds, “at the office.”

  The door closes behind him and Mila moves over to the sofa to sit next to me. “Chloe, do you want to talk about it?”

  I fight the tears away and she reaches for my hand. She is the only person I can talk to about anything and I look to the kitchen to make sure Rosalie cannot hear. That is the last thing I need, for our housekeeper to know that my husband has taken on extramarital affairs. That is a shame I prefer to keep as hush hush as possible.

  “He didn’t come home last night,” I admit to her and I watch her demeanor change to an apologetic one.

  “Chloe, I am sure you have nothing to worry about.”

  I pull my hand from hers and wipe the tear from my cheek. She didn’t even seem surprised by him not coming home. I shouldn’t be embarrassed about my husband’s infidelity, but I am.

  “You don’t think?” she asked carefully.

  I nodded as another tear escaped my eye, feeling more angry at the fact that I am crying than what I am even crying about.

  “I am so sorry, Chloe.”

  I disregard her apology even though she is the most likely person to understand. At least her husband bothers with coming home. But of course he would, Mila is not only beautiful, she is gorgeous with her nearly black, perfect hair and gray eyes with lashes that most women have to apply to obtain that level of thickness. She is exotic but very feminine and petite, intriguing really. I doubt that Brian has the same wandering eyes as my husband, but then again, maybe he does.

  The door opens and I quickly wipe at my face trying to hide any evidence of being upset. Mila and I both look to the door and her hand tightens on my leg when Brian walks in alone. I stand to watch as he slowly shuts the door behind him.

  “Brian?”

  He looks at me uneasily, “I tried calling his cell but he didn’t answer.”

  “But he is at the office. Did you talk to him?”

  I can tell his discomfort is growing as he looks from Mila back to me. “Chloe, he wasn’t at the office.”

  “He was just there earlier.”

  “No, Chloe. His car is there, but he hasn’t been in his office since last night.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask him and feel my hands trembling again.

  “I left some paperwork on his desk last night when I left and it is still laying there. If he has been at the office, he hasn’t been at his desk.”

  “Who is she, Brian?” I blurt out before I can even think about the weight of the question. I almost felt guilty for putting Brian in the position to have to answer the question but it escaped my lips before I could consider his bias.

  He watches me closely, “Chloe, I do not know what you are talking about.”

  “Please just tell me!”

  Mila stands to pull me into her and I feel myself losing control of my sobs.

  “Chloe, I honestly do not know where he is or where he could be,” Brian said.

  I look back to his face and his sincerity settles on me along with the realization that the situation could be more serious than an affair. He could have gotten involved in something terrible, white collar crime even, you hear about that kind of thing happening all the time and if money was involved, I wouldn’t really put it passed Carson. He could be in custody right now, being denied his phone call. Or worse, he could have been kidnapped by some mob boss needing legal counsel. “Oh my God! What if something happened?”

  I run to grab the phone again and dial the police while Mila and Brian whisper in the living room. “Yes, my husband hasn’t come home since yesterday and I think something might be wrong.” My mind was racing with possible scenarios and my heart beat was louder in my ears than even the voice coming through the other end of the phone. But I was able to pick up on the part where they told me they were sending someone over.

  “A detective is coming over,” I said, walking back in the living room. Brian almost jumped to his feet, readying himself to leave. “No, please! Can you stay? Brian, you were with him, you could be of more help!”

  “Yes, of course we will stay, Chloe,” Mila said, looking to Brian. It was obvious that he would have chosen to be anywhere else, but Mila didn’t give him the option. Rosalie however, took advantage of a clean getaway and quickly scurried out the door.

  Brian’s face was flushed and I noticed him checking his watch even more frequently than me. We had plans for this evening anyway, was he really that uncomfortable being here without Carson in the room?

  I didn’t meet Brian until after Carson proposed. But that wasn’t out of the ordinary, he didn’t introduce me to anyone until after the proposal. My first impression of Brian was that he did not look like a lawyer, although I don’t really know what a lawyer is supposed to look like. He most certainly wasn’t the obnoxious or loud type either, instead he has always been very quiet and reserved. An observer more than a doer, so his success as a lawyer has always been somewhat baffling to me. But he is a sweet soul, he was one of those rare people that you could see their sweetness in their eyes. And he has always been so gentle with Mila. He really loves her, that is obvious in his body language and I envy that. My eyes are fixated on how close they are sitting to each other, thinking of how comforting that must be, when the knock comes loudly on the door.

  “Hello,” a woman said, looking passed me into the house.

  “Please come in,” I offer, stepping to the side.

  She walks in slowly and her eyes scan the room. “This is a very nice place,” she said, but there was a judgement behind it more than a compliment.

  “Oh, thank you.”

  She was a heavy-set woman which struck me as odd. Most law enforcement officials take pride in their physical fitness, not this woman. Her jeans hugged tight to her wide hips and the red pleather jacket she was wearing looked like the shoulders would split if she made any sudden movements. She wouldn’t stand a chance in any foot pursuits. But there was something about the way she carried her
self that was quite intimidating.

  She stopped when she saw Brian and Mila in the living room and walked in to introduce herself to them. She shook their hands and I felt out of place because she hadn’t even bothered to introduce herself to me.

  “I am Mrs. Damichi,” I said, reaching out to shake her hand.

  Her eyes studied mine while she firmly took my hand in hers, holding it long past the point of being uncomfortable. Her tight bun on the back of her head had her the freckled skin of her face drawn tight, making her eyes squint as she stared at me. Her irises were dark brown and I sarcastically thought about how at least the mascara on her eyes was a sign she hadn’t totally given up on appearances.

  “When is the last time you spoke with your husband?”

  “Yesterday morning. He left for work and I haven’t talked to him since.”

  “You haven’t heard from your husband for nearly two days and you just called?” she asked harshly.

  I looked to Mila and Brian again and stuttered to tell her that was right. “I did call the hospital first thing today but there hadn’t been any accidents involving Carson so I just assumed…well he is a very busy lawyer. He and Brian own the firm and sometimes work is very demanding.”

  She chuckled, inappropriately, as she looked to Brian and Mila before looking seriously back to me. “Does your husband not come home regularly, Mrs. Damichi?”

  “No, absolutely not. This is the first time.”

  Her eyes held mine and she almost made me feel like I was lying. Her posture was nothing less than judgmental and she didn’t even try to hide it. I could feel myself getting defensive of my husband then, which was also a first.

  “You do not know Carson. This is not like him.”

  “Look Mrs. Damichi, I get it,” she said looking around at the house again. “Your husband makes the money and you put up with the rest.”

  “I beg your pardon?!”

  Mila steps closer to me and puts her hands on my shoulders while she speaks to the detective. “Detective, Carson does not stay out overnight and my husband also cannot get through to him.”

  The detective looks to Brian and calmly asks, “Does Carson have a mistress?”

  She had the same presumptuous attitude that I had, but it insulted me coming from her. Mila’s hands tighten on my shoulders and I look to Brian.

  “Not that I am aware of.”

  I breathe a sigh of relief as I look back to the detective. She stares at Brian and I can tell she is judging the truth behind what he said but Brian gives no indication of it being a lie.

  “Mrs. Damichi, do you mind if I have a look around?”

  She stands and walks around the room before I can even answer. “No, I don’t mind at all,” I muttered to her back.

  She takes the pictures from the mantle one by one and I watch her pause to hold the silver frame in her hand while she studies the picture inside. My eyes follow hers and I look at Carson’s arms holding me tightly against him as we both smiled foolishly into the camera on our wedding day. I close my eyes and think back to how happy I felt that day and I miss it thinking of where we are now.

  “How long have you been together?” she asks, carefully sitting the picture back where she had gotten it. She straightened it several different times and I watched her gauging the distance between the other photos. This was an obsessive behavior and I was intrigued watching her.

  “Over five years,” I finally answer, feeling caught off guard by the breakage in my voice. “Married for four years.”

  She looks back and watches me struggle to fight away my emotion. Much to my surprise, Brian intercepted my battle, “His car is still at the office from yesterday. I was with him last night when he told me he was coming home.”

  She doesn’t respond to him and I look to Mila when she goes to the kitchen. Mila shrugs her shoulders and I turn back to watch her lifting the lid to smell the lamb that is sitting on the counter. She gently sits it back down with a smug expression and opens the trash can.

  “Do you and your husband have a lot of problems in your marriage?” she asks, reaching inside. What is she doing?

  “Uh no, not really, we are like any other married couple I guess.”

  She wipes her hand on her pants and turns back to me, “The cake in the trash can would almost suggest otherwise.”

  I had forgotten about the damn cake. “I threw it away last night when he didn’t come home.”

  She walks straight over to me and her face stops only inches from mine which instantly causes me to take a step back. I do not like people in my space, especially not this woman. “I find it strange that you would throw away the cake. You didn’t save it for him to have when he got home and you didn’t find it alarming that he didn’t even make it home for the cake when you said he had never not come home before?”

  This woman has obviously never been married to a rich egotistical lawyer. I guess I can see where that looks bad from her perspective. “Look, I am not proud to admit it, but I had drunk a bit too much wine last night. I should not have thrown the cake away.”

  Her eyes burned into me then and I couldn’t help but feel insulted from her stare. Everything about this woman struck a nerve with me and I did not appreciate her less than desirable assumptions.

  “Okay, you can sit on your high horse all you want, Detective. But my husband is missing and you need to worry about finding him instead of questioning my alcohol intake.” I was losing my temper and I couldn’t control the volume in my voice.

  “Okay,” she said calmly, sitting back in the chair. “Please.” She gestured for us to sit with her. The smile curling on her thin lips was an apparent sign of her amusement in my irritation which only irritated me more.

  “Was last night Carson’s birthday?”

  “Yes, but we had dinner planned for this evening.”

  “Is it possible that he had made other plans to celebrate that you weren’t aware of?”

  I look to Brian again and watch his eyes shooting between me and the detective. “No, he and I talked about dinner just last night.”

  “Would he have gone out for drinks and maybe had too many?” she asks, her eyes holding mine giving a clear sign that she wanted me to answer the question.

  “No, I have never known Carson to drink more than two drinks in public.” He wasn’t exactly the fun, spontaneous kind of guy but the look on the detective’s face let me know that she wasn’t sold on it. “He has a reputation that he values. Getting drunk in public has always been against his nature and could even reflect badly on his profession. Brian also doesn’t drink much in public for the same reasons.”

  She looked back to Brian then, “I know that as a friend and business partner you may want to protect him in certain ways. But it is important that you tell me anything that might help us locate him. Did he ever mention another woman?”

  Brian flashed me a quick apologetic glance, “Carson may not have always been the best husband. But he loved Chloe and would never have taken any other woman seriously.”

  I heard a noise escape me before I could catch it. I always felt like there were other women, but hearing it just solidified it and it hurt much deeper than I expected. It is much easier to curse someone for something you suspect, than to learn that you have been right all along. Mila reached for my hand again and I fought away the tears because I didn’t want them all to see me breaking.

  “Mrs. Damichi, I am going to do what I can to locate your husband. But I think it is important for you to consider that he may have just simply decided to leave.”

  She stands and hands her card to both Brian and me. I looked down to read “Detective Burns” printed plainly in black on an eggshell background. Fitting that the card was as dull as the detective. She never even bothered to tell me her name.

  She leaves and Mila hugs me again, telling me everything was going to be okay. And I kept my bitter retort to myself about how a husband leaving isn’t exactly a situation that would be considered
okay. Brian awkwardly steps in and hugs me for the first time in five years. I wasn’t sure how to respond to him and the hug was definitely the most awkward embrace I have ever experienced. Not because actually hugging him was uncomfortable, but because Mila stiffened like a board while she stared at us. I had never pegged her as the insecure type, but then again, I had never had to watch her reaction to her husband comforting me either. “You call if you need anything at all,” Brian said.

  “I will, thank you both for staying.”

  I sat watching the door, calling Carson over and over. Each time I listened to his voicemail recording, thinking that maybe I would be able to decipher some code from the tone of his voice telling me that he was leaving me. Could he really have just decided to leave? Obviously, I have entertained the possibility, many times, but Carson had too much to run away from.

  Chapter Two

  Waking up to an impatient rapping on my front door is not my ideal morning. I jumped up as I woke, causing the phone to fall from the sofa cushion to the hardwood floor and burst into pieces. I was one quick reaction away from landing right next to it. Damnit, I mumble several times while I try to gain a clear focus in my eyes. Six in the morning? The knocking continues and somehow manages to grow even more rapid.

  “Alright!”

  Detective Burns is standing impatiently on the porch. There are two other men standing behind her and this time, she doesn’t wait for an invitation inside. I stand holding the door, still foggy minded from sleep, while they all walk into the living room and I slowly push the door shut, trying to find patience for their early intrusion with the hope that they have found Carson.

  The two men are standing near the fireplace looking intently at our pictures and I watch them discretely nod at each other. I eagerly look to the detective who had made herself at home in the chair. “Have you found Carson?” I asked.

  All three sets of eyes turn to me then and I look impatiently to each of them waiting for an answer.

  “Yes,” Detective Burns said flatly.

  I exhaled deeply and sat down on the sofa. “And he didn’t want to come home?”