Polls Apart

by Clare Stephen-Johnston

  “It’s so good to have you back,” he whispered. Anna smiled and followed him outside and to the car, clutching his hand. “From hospital to Buckingham Palace. This is quite a journey,” she joked nervously as she took her seat in the back of the vehicle.

  “It’s all just a great big show, Anna. Nothing you haven’t done before,” he squeezed her hand. “You need to think of this as another acting job. We smile and wave and everyone’s happy.”

  Not everyone, Anna thought. But just as she’d learnt from her acting coach, she took a deep breath and prepared for her next performance.

  Marie clutched her coat tightly as she waited for her parents to collect her from the hospital. She glanced at the clock again and saw it was now five minutes to the agreed pick-up time, when her new life living with her mother and father and taking heavy-duty anti-depressants would begin. She felt like a child again. And a naughty one at that. One who couldn’t be trusted to be alone for any significant period and one whose future was now uncertain.

  She heard a door swing open in the corridor and the sound of footsteps coming ever closer. Then she recognised the familiar throat-clearing that could only belong to one man. Before she could react, he was standing in the doorway.

  “Hello Marie,” he said, cautiously. “Do you mind if I talk to you for a minute?”

  “Well, you’re here now,” she replied, avoiding eye contact like a sulky teenager.

  Damian perched himself on the edge of the visitor’s chair and looked up at Marie who was still sitting on her bed, swinging her legs under its rails. He thought she looked so tired and alone, it took him all his willpower not to get up and put his arms around her.

  “I resigned today, Marie,” he said, matter-of-factly. “The Echo Group put a statement out about it a few minutes ago, so it’ll be all over the news soon. Course, they didn’t mention the Ancroft story. They just said I wanted to move on to pastures new, but it won’t take long before questions are asked about my editorial judgment.”

  “You just did what Victor wanted you to,” Marie muttered, only looking at Damian fleetingly as she spoke. She noted he was unshaven with dark circles under his eyes. She thought his posture was less assertive too, and she could see his ego had been deflated. Looking at him sitting timidly in the chair she couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for him.

  “I spoke to him this morning. I said he’d put both me and the staff – especially you – under a ridiculous amount of pressure to produce anti-Williams exclusives and that in the end we’d had to throw editorial standards out of the window to make a tenuous link between Williams and Ancroft’s cocaine abuse. My decision to run with the “My Cocaine Nights with Richard Williams” headline is without doubt the biggest regret of my career. Whether he decides to sue or not we’ll have to wait and see, but I didn’t want to hang around for that. My resigning draws a line under what happened and allows the Echo to move on.”

  He leant forwards slightly and cleared his throat again. “I didn’t just come to tell you that though, Marie,” he continued. “I wanted you to know how sorry I am that I drove you to this. I can’t tell you how ashamed of myself I am. I really, really admire you, Marie. More than anyone I ever worked with, but I just got things all wrong. I thought you felt the same. I…” Damian faltered as he searched for the words to continue so Marie decided to put him out of his misery.

  “This wasn’t just down to you,” she said, gesturing around the room with her eyes. “I’d been struggling for a while and the whole election thing just tipped me over. The blunt end of tabloid journalism was not the right career choice for me. I never felt good about it and, considering I’ve never thought particularly highly of myself, it wasn’t a good mix.”

  “Looks like we’re both looking for new careers then,” Damian laughed awkwardly.

  “Yes,” Marie smiled.

  “I hope we can be friends,” Damian said, searching her face for clues.

  “We can try,” she replied, glancing at him briefly again.

  The door in the corridor swung open again and they listened to the footsteps, which, seconds later, were revealed to come from Marie’s parents. Her father entered the room first, his face flushed and his hair windswept.

  “There are photographers and reporters all round the entrance. I asked them what they were doing there and one of them said it was about you and him,” he said, pointing an accusing finger towards Damian.

  “What do you mean me and him?” she asked, confused.

  “They know he’s resigned and you tried to…” he looked away, unsure how to complete the sentence. “I guess one of your former colleagues must have told them about your situation. Anyway, they’re here now so we’ll have to try and get out the back.”

  “Look,” Damian began, “I’ll go out the front and speak to them and that’ll divert attention long enough for you to leave from another exit.”

  Marie studied Damian for a moment. A man who had been just as misguided as she was, but who was, ultimately, not a bad person. She thought about leaving with her mum and dad and going back to sit in their house, living by their rules. Would that really be the right environment for her to begin again? She had only moments to decide.

  “Wait, Damian” she said. “I’m coming with you.”

  Though the journey from Buckingham Palace to Downing Street would usually take just a few minutes, the new Prime Minister’s motorcade moved at only snail’s pace through the crowded streets, every one lined with well-wishers and supporters. Richard continued to hold Anna’s hand as they smiled and waved graciously to the people cheering and waving Union Jacks as they passed.

  “There’s so many of them,” Anna remarked flatly. Ever since leaving the hospital she had felt on auto-pilot, going through the motions as a selection of officials guided her every move.

  “It’s fantastic,” Richard beamed. “Isn’t it?” He turned to her seeking reassurance that she was as thrilled with this moment as he was, but she didn’t have to speak. He could tell by her blank expression that her only feeling right now was one of bewilderment.

  Sensing his eyes on her face, Anna smiled weakly at Richard. She wondered where on earth he found the energy considering he had only had one hour’s sleep. She had done nothing but rest for the last two days yet still felt exhausted and completely removed from the situation. She berated herself for not being able to put on a show of happiness for Richard on what she knew was a momentous day. What kind of person was she? Why couldn’t she do this for her husband?

  The Queen had spoken warmly to him and he had emerged from their meeting at the Palace with a smile from ear to ear.

  “I think she likes me,” he’d whispered to Anna when they were out of the earshot of Palace officials. Yet all Anna had been able to do was offer a set of stock answers: “That’s great,” and “Wow, amazing.” Perhaps, she thought, this was all too much to take in at once and she would soon warm up to this celebration. She certainly felt proud of Richard and happy for him too, but it didn’t ease the sense of disconnect.

  As they continued their journey to Downing Street, they looked up through the tinted sunroof to watch the news helicopters circling above, slowly tracking the motorcade.

  “Do you think you’re ready for this new adventure, Anna?” Richard asked.

  “Ready as I can be,” she managed a half smile.

  “I couldn’t do this without you,” he said, squeezing her hand and continuing to wave to his supporters with the other.

  Anna looked out of the window towards the cheering crowds and deliberately smiled widely so no one would guess her fear and insecurity. How was she going to fit into this new role? And if it turned out she couldn’t, where would that leave her marriage?

  Marie tensed as they neared the front doors of the hospital. She could see more than twenty reporters and photographers gathered outside, including a couple of TV crews. It seemed crazy that they would have been there for her and Damian, but then they were at the heart of a sc
andal connected to the two biggest names in the country right now: Richard Williams and Anna Lloyd. And, she had to admit, it doesn’t get much juicier than the reporter who tried to sink them suddenly trying to attempt suicide while her editor mysteriously resigns. Given all that, Marie supposed they were lucky there wasn’t more press here.

  Damian put a hand around Marie’s back and guided her straight into the path of the waiting pack. They stopped just a few feet in front of the hospital. Several reporters were shouting over each other.

  “Why did you resign, Damian?”

  “Why are you here, Damian?”

  “Marie, Marie. What drove you to attempt suicide? Have you been telling lies about Richard Williams?”

  “Guys.” Damian held up the palm of his hand to try to silence them. “I’m prepared to say a few words. Marie will not comment today.” He cleared his throat loudly, which made Marie want to burst out laughing. She put her head down, realising a fit of giggles would be most inappropriate based on what Damian was about to say.

  “I resigned as editor of the Sunday Echo today because, in the last few weeks, I have not conducted myself according to the standards I believe an editor has to meet in order to produce the best journalism. The pressure under which I placed my staff, including Marie, was intolerable and unacceptable and I came here today to apologise to her. I ask now that you leave us in peace to reflect on what has happened and to move on.”

  Damian guided Marie to the left and they began to walk forwards. Reporters pressed in on them from every angle.

  “Damian, Marie. Where are you going now?” a radio reporter was shouting as she pressed a microphone under Damian’s chin.

  “We’re going to begin again,” he said, smiling, before hailing a passing cab and quickly helping Marie inside. She wondered where they would go, then decided she didn’t really care. She felt at home again – safe with the most unlikely of friends.

  Anna eyed the living room of the Downing Street flat with disdain. She couldn’t believe how dowdy the place was compared to what must be the grandeur of the White House or countless other official residences. Was she now expected to leave her home behind to raise a family in an unwelcoming apartment on top of a madhouse?

  Richard, who had been busy making calls to appoint his first cabinet, came rushing back into the room, his face flushed with excitement.

  “It’s all falling into place now, Anna. Just a couple more calls to make and we’ll head back to Highgate. The housekeeper says the rest of our stuff will be delivered tomorrow so we’ll be official residents of 10 Downing Street within twenty-four hours.”

  “Great,” Anna replied, unenthusiastically.

  Richard looked behind him, checking they were alone before moving closer to his wife.

  “What’s wrong, Anna? You’re just not yourself these days. Are you still feeling tired? Do you want to lie down?”

  “I am still tired, Richard. But it’s more than that,” she turned to face him, realising that now she’d started there was no going back. “I’ve had the most gruelling few weeks, physically and emotionally, and I am struggling, really, really struggling to deal with this – Downing Street, you as Prime Minister, me. I’m a victim of abuse, a killer, a deeply damaged person, and now I’m supposed to be some kind of political figure?”

  “You’re not damaged, Anna. You may feel bruised right now. You’ve been through so much, but you’re a fighter. You have never allowed yourself to feel like a victim.”

  “Until now,” she shook her head. “I desperately need stability. I need to know that our family comes first over all this,” she said, gesturing around her.

  “What are you telling me?” Richard asked, his eyes bulging with confusion and alarm.

  “I mean, I have no idea where I stand with you any more and the insecurity is killing me. Am I here as the wife you love, or am I here as the wife you need?” She stood tall now, defiant as she waited for her answer.

  “Anna,” Richard clasped her arm. “Of course I love you. You must believe that. It’s been an absolutely crazy few weeks and I know it’s taken its toll on you, but we’ve got to stand strong together. I love and need you, Anna. I can’t do this without you.”

  “Well, you might just have to,” she said, continuing to hold his gaze.

  “What? What are you talking about? Anna, this is what we both dreamt of together. Don’t you remember all the things we talked about achieving? All the people we can help?”

  “You dumped me in front of an entire nation, Richard. Just a few weeks ago. Then, when the public jumped on my side you suddenly decided to ask me back. What part of that sounds like love to you? How do I know this isn’t just some complete sham designed to suit your career? In a few months time I will give birth to our first child and I will not allow him or her to live a lie. That’s just not fair. I’ve spent my whole life chasing the spotlight, desperate to please, to be someone, to be loved, and I’m tired of the whole charade. I just want to be a normal mother. I want to give my child the stability I never had.”

  “Are you leaving me?” Richard asked, his voice unsteady, his eyes reflecting his desperation.

  Anna leant in close, her face just inches from his. “Would you give this up for me, Richard?”

  “Give up being Prime Minister?”

  “Yes.”

  “You seriously want me to walk into my first press conference tomorrow and tell them I’m giving up the job less than a day into it? Think what you’re saying. Please.”

  “How will I ever be able to trust you otherwise? How can I live this life with you not knowing whether I’m only here as long as I help the poll ratings? I’m not strong enough for that.” Tears welled up in her eyes and she turned away from him, reaching for her handbag.

  “Anna,” Richard reached for her arm again. “Please. I don’t know what else I can say. I love you and I can’t wait to be a father to our child.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I need to go home now.”

  Richard watched open-mouthed as Anna walked from the room, her head bowed as she tried to suppress her tears. His mind raced with the implications of what she had suggested. To leave Downing Street now would be to give up a life-long ambition as well as being an absolute insult to the millions of people who had voted for the Social Democrats on the strength of his leadership. But then he thought of a life without Anna and their newborn child. The pain that separation would cause. The endless talk and speculation that would surround it and, all the while, he would be expected to lead a nation. Without her he knew he couldn’t do it. Despite the turmoil of the last few weeks, or perhaps because of it, he realised he had never loved or needed her more. And when he looked at it like that, he realised there was no choice at all.

  21

  Williams Gets Down to Work with First Press Conference as PM

  Friday, 8th May, 2009, UK Newswire – Social Democrat leader Richard Williams will today hold his first press briefing in Downing Street as he celebrates becoming Britain’s youngest-ever Prime Minister.

  It is believed Williams will use the ten a.m. press conference to outline the thinking behind his new cabinet, announced yesterday, which saw the appointment of his long-standing political ally, Bob Guthrie, as Chancellor of the Exchequer.

  In another widely anticipated move, Williams appointed his election campaign organiser, Ray Molsley, as deputy Prime Minister. Molsley said he was “thrilled and honoured to accept the post”, adding: “To serve under the leadership of Richard Williams, a man so dedicated to helping turn this country around, is more than a privilege. I will support him every step of the way and I look forward to a bright new future under his direction.”

  Williams and his actress wife, Anna Lloyd, spent a night apart yesterday as she returned to their Highgate home alone while he stayed on at Downing Street. It is believed Lloyd will join the Prime Minister at their new residence later today once their belongings have been moved.

  Anna awoke to a loud bang
ing on her front door and instantly realised she’d overslept. The removal men were due to come at nine a.m. but, glancing at the clock, she saw it was already quarter-past and wondered how long they’d been knocking. She quickly threw on her dressing gown and rushed down the stairs to open the front door, taking care to keep out of view in case the ever-present paparazzi got a shot of her. Henry was always warning her of such things and the message had finally sunk in.

  The removal men had been hired to pack, move and unpack and as they cheerfully piled in past Anna, she could see they were not in the least bit fazed by their task so she decided just to leave them to it while she went back upstairs to shower.

  She checked her mobile but there were no messages from Richard. She knew he had the press conference at ten and she switched on AllNews 24 so she could catch it as she got ready. Her heart was pounding as she thought through the implications of their discussion the night before. She felt terrible that she’d put him in such a position – choosing between his wife and child and the job he had always dreamt of, but how were they to make their marriage work otherwise? How could she ever really trust him when she was there to prop up his popularity?

  Turning her attention to the TV, Anna watched Esther Yarleth flirtily flick back her hair before announcing her studio guests were “two of the most talked about people in the country next to Richard Williams and Anna Lloyd”. Smiling into the camera she said: “Welcome, Damian Blunt and Marie Simpson.”

  Damian smiled confidently while Marie looked nervous. Anna found herself rooted to her seat as she watched.

  Esther had, by now, finished her recap on the events of the last few days and was asking Marie, fairly insincerely in Anna’s opinion, how she was now feeling.