Temporary Bliss

by Gray, Kiska

  “Sorry…”

  “Don’t be.” Before I could say a word, Mika’s name was called. He jumped up to fetch our coffees while I busied myself with unwrapping a straw. Anything to keep myself from climbing out of my skin, which is what I felt a pressing urge to do. When we both had our drinks, he tipped his face up to look at me. “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  “Yeah, go ahead. You’re practically vibrating, so just spit it out. Say what you need to say.”

  “I love you,” I said around the lump in my throat. “I know I fucked up, probably the fuck-up of the century. Maybe even worse than screwing Laz’s boyfriend right before tour.” I swore and tugged at the paper wrapper, wrapping it around my finger.

  “Goddamnit, I’m an idiot. I don’t blame you if you hate me, but I’m terrified that you do and I’m sorry. I don’t…do feelings well, or at all, but I’ve been a wreck since I walked away from you. Since I ran away from you. I was scared—fuck, I’m still scared, and I know I’m an asshole and I’m sorry, but I love you. I love you and I want a second chance, even though I know I don’t fucking deserve it.”

  He blinked a few times, then wiped his nose with the back of his thumb. “Okay…”

  “Let me make it right by you.” I looked down the straw wrapper I’d been playing with, encircling my finger like a ring, and my breath caught. Before I could talk myself off the ledge, I slipped it off my finger and held it out to him. Mika went completely still. “I don’t have a ring right now, but… Marry me.”

  “Gideon.”

  I shook my head. “Hear me out, at least. I want you in my life. Permanently. I know I probably shattered your trust in me, but I can change. I want to change. Fuck, for the first time in my life, I’ve found something worth fighting for and I’ll be damned if I let you walk away so easily. You make me a better person, a better man, and I’m happy when I’m with you, even if all we do is eat junk food and watch stupid zombie shows.”

  I took a breath to steady my rattling nerves. “It doesn’t have to be right now, or next month, or even two years from now, but I want this ring to be a promise. A promise that some day, I will marry you, for real, and you will wear the most goddamn beautiful dress in the world and I’ll relish taking it off of you when we make mad, mad love.”

  He let out a breathy giggle and hid his blushing face behind his hands. My heart thundered wild in my chest as I held out the makeshift ring once more, one last time. “Please, Mika Wolfram. Marry me.”

  “That’s a straw wrapper.”

  I winked. “You know I’m good for it.” Mika smiled through his tears and I laughed, high on careless hopes. “What do you say, lemondrop? If you need to think about it, that’s cool, too. I can be patient. I’ve waited this long.”

  But he held out his hand. Holding my breath, I carefully slipped the paper ring onto his finger and watched the emotion flicker over his face. He bit down on his lower lip, then stared at me.

  “Okay, but you know I’m not cheap. I want a huge wedding and a real ring, one that costs more than your car,” he quipped, sounding so sure of himself. God, I loved him. How did I not realize it sooner?

  “That can be arranged.”

  And that was a promise I intended to keep.

  Epilogue: Mika

  “You bungled it! Ha!”

  “What the—fuck you! Goddamnit, Jesus Christ, how did I fuck that up?” Saint punched me in the arm hard enough to smart, swearing under his breath. I burst out laughing. “Oh, screw off. So you won. Big deal.”

  “Again,” I reminded him, a cheeky grin plastered across my face. Nyah-nyah. “I’m getting pretty good at this one. Wanna go again?” I gestured to the Game Over screen with my controller. “Third time’s a charm?”

  “Suck my dick,” he grumbled.

  I thrust out my hand and waggled my fingers. The diamonds on my engagement ring sparkled brilliantly beneath the midday sunlight streaming through the sheer curtains. “Sorry, sweetheart, but I’m a married man. Well, almost.” Glee bubbled through me as I admired the band of white gold. Tiny clusters of diamonds sat on either side of a sizable hunk of stone that gleamed with every color of the rainbow. It was perfect.

  I still couldn’t believe it was real.

  I was engaged to Gideon Grey of Gravitation fame. Never in a million years did I think I’d one day be married to a rockstar.

  Saint huffed a laugh. “Yeah, yeah. So when’s the wedding?”

  He was teasing, but I knew it had to hurt, especially since my brother had popped the question to Sierra on Valentine’s Day. Saint’s two best friends were getting hitched, while he would be forever alone. My heart ached for him. Saint was the traditional sort, a hopeless romantic who wanted nothing more than to settle down and develop video games for a living. He’d probably never get that chance, and that was sad.

  “You know. Someday,” I said, brushing it off. “Right now I’m more worried about flunking school.”

  “How do you flunk culinary school, Mika? Honestly?” Saint smiled. “This is your calling. You were born to bake goodies. You might as well make money doing it, right?”

  “I’m sure gonna try, but I’m nervous.” It was Gideon’s idea to enroll in some Gen Ed classes online, where I could work at my own pace. I’d already Skyped my instructor a couple of times when I’d run into snags, and she was totally awesome. It alleviated some of my fears, but not all of them. It was just something I’d have to work through.

  “It’s okay to be nervous,” Saint assured me. “But you’re gonna rock it, I promise.”

  A car honked outside. I grinned. “I think my ride’s here. Up, up. I need a hug.”

  He clambered to his feet and threw his arms around me. I squeezed him tightly, but he held on a little longer than usual. “I’m happy for you, Mika,” he said when he released me. “Just don’t forget about me.”

  “I could never forget about you,” I promised him. “In the meantime, I think you might wanna practice some, up your game.” I smirked. “Or else I’ll be beating your ass every round.”

  “You wish, brat. Get out of here.”

  “Bye!” I grabbed my bag off the end of the couch and jogged out the front door. Gideon’s Charger purred in the drive. He honked again when he saw me. I laughed out loud, my entire being buzzing as I slid into the passenger seat. “Hey, gorgeous.”

  “Looking fine, sunshine.” Gideon leaned in for a kiss. I swooned. “You look nice, but I’d rather you be naked.”

  I snorted. “I don’t think your friends would approve of me coming to dinner in my birthday suit, Gideon.”

  “Probably true. Not that I’d wanna share you anyway.”

  “Let’s save the nudity for the bedroom, okay?” He grinned shamelessly at me and I just couldn’t help myself; I grabbed a handful of his shirt and dragged him closer for another round of mouth-tingling kisses.

  “Mmm. You taste good. Is that…strawberry?”

  I smacked my mouth. “New lip-stuff. You likey?”

  “I likey.” His tongue danced over my lips, so I sucked on it, relishing the soft whimper of pleasure that escaped him. “If we don’t stop, I’m gonna be sporting wood all through dinner. Don’t think Papa Laz would approve.” He made a disappointed noise at the back of his throat and pulled away, both of us breathing hard.

  “I love you,” I said on a happy sigh.

  “I love you, too.” Every time he said those three little words, my heart danced, and I grinned like a goof all the way to Laz’s place.

  Gideon’s friends had more than welcomed me into the fray, which I was thankful for. They were the only family that Gideon cared to acknowledge and I didn’t want that to change. The day we announced our engagement, Laz actually popped a bottle of champagne and we celebrated with sushi. By the end of the night, I was tipsy and my cheeks hurt from smiling, but it felt almost like I was home. It was a good feeling.

  “Lucy, I’m hooome,” Gideon announced when we waltzed through the front door, bringing
nothing but our appetites, as Laz had insisted. Ivy met us in the foyer, her arms crossed over her chest.

  “Finally. Thought you’d gone off and died,” she snarked.

  “Sorry to burst your bubble.”

  I elbowed him in the ribs. “Be nice.”

  “I’m always nice, babe, you know that.”

  Ivy coughed out, “Bullshit,” at the same time Laz called for some help in the kitchen.

  I made a move towards the doorway, but Gideon threw his arm across my chest. “I got this,” he said, strolling out of the room and leaving me alone with Ivy. We shared a glance. I might not’ve gotten the kindest reception from the woman, but she’d definitely warmed up to me.

  She chin-nodded in Gideon’s direction. “You’re a brave soul,” she said around a slanted smile. “Takes a special kind of person to put up with his shit. Trust me.”

  “Oh, don’t worry. I can handle him. Speaking of significant others, whatever happened to what’s-his-face?” Come to think of it, I hadn’t seen Ivy’s boyfriend since the car accident back in January.

  Ivy made a face. “Thomas? Fuck that dude. He’s nothing but a dirty bag of dicks.”

  “Really?”

  “The asshole thought he was more important than Izzy.” Her expression was suddenly pointy. “No one is more important to me than my bro. No one. I almost lost him and that speck of toe fungus told me to get over it. Get over it?” She laughed. “I told him to pack his shit and get out. Pretty sure he was sleazing around with other women, anyway. Waste of my time. Izzy was right about him.”

  “What was that?” Izzy called from the living room. “Didn’t quite hear it.”

  “Oh, shut up!” she hollered back.

  “Yeah? Pretty sure I heard you telling Mika that I was right about something.”

  She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. “It’s good to hear him laugh. He’s been pretty depressed these past few weeks. Holing himself up in the house, not socializing. I’ve been worried about him.”

  Gideon came strolling back, a paper plate of cookies in hand and one sticking out of his mouth. “He’ll be okay, Ivy,” he said, spitting crumbs at us in the process. Ivy smacked him. I snagged a cookie off the plate—chocolate chip, yum—and took a bite. “He’ll spring back. Give him time.”

  “I hope so,” she murmured.

  After dinner, we played a few rounds of cards and had a couple of beers. Gideon kept nudging me beneath the table, rubbing his shoe against my inner calf. I kicked at him playfully and he snickered, but the look he shot me sent shockwaves quaking down my spine. Heat burned my cheeks. I wasn’t an idiot; I knew exactly what he wanted.

  “What?”

  “Nothing,” he replied, too innocently.

  “I call bullshit.”

  “And I think it’s time we went home. What do you think, sugar dumpling?”

  “What? You think you’re gonna get lucky?” I smarted back.

  Izzy chuckled beneath his breath and drew another card. “Burn.”

  “I know I’m gonna get lucky. Sorry to cut this game short, Laz, but we gotta jet.”

  “Get some!” Ivy crowed.

  Gideon pointed at me. “Grab your coat. I’m taking you home.”

  “Bossy! Maybe I don’t wanna go—” The words died on my lips the moment Gideon tugged my head back and invaded my senses with an open-mouthed kiss. I might’ve moaned. I definitely moaned. “Home.”

  “What was that about not getting lucky?” he teased. “Coat.”

  Well, if he put it that way… I blushed. “Bye, guys.”

  He chased me out to the car, our laughter ringing through the night-quiet streets. I wasn’t sure how I got so lucky, to somehow strike gold with some random hottie at the club. To win the heart of someone who was only supposed to be a bit of temporary bliss.

  Are you happy, Mika?

  I looked over at Gideon, at our joined hands resting on the center console. His fingers intwined with mine. He caught my gaze and winked, and I knew the answer to that question.

  Yes. Yes I was.

  * * *

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  About the Author

  Kiska Gray is a 30-something crazy cat lady living in small-town Indiana. She's a lover of music (hung up on Ed Sheeran at this moment) and coffee (extra sweet!) She shares an apartment with two spoiled cats, one fat and one skinny, and spends her free time writing, reading, aimlessly browsing Facebook, playing Overwatch and Pokemon, and staring off into space.

  For more information about Kiska and her books, visit:

  https://kiskagray.com

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