The Wanderers Beginning: The Wanderers, Reborn, & Unforgiven

by Jessica Miller

  A light breeze picked up and I shivered as a cold chill ran up my body. I rubbed my hands up and down my arms trying to warm myself. “Here,” Kevin said startling me. He placed a jacket gently over my shoulders.

  “Thanks,” I said pulling the jacket tighter around me. When I slipped my arms through the sleeves I realized it was Kyle's favorite jacket.

  “Keep it.”

  “I can’t…” I began to take it off.

  Kevin put up his hand to stop me. “He would’ve wanted you to have it.”

  “Thanks,” I said again just as we heard a crash inside the house.

  “Shit…I better get back in there,” Kevin said. I waved goodbye as he took off into the house to investigate, leaving me all alone outside.

  Unable to fight off this violent chill that overcame me, I looked around. This feeling was telling me something, but what, I didn’t know. All I knew was that it wasn’t the first time I felt this way. It felt familiar.

  My eyes shifted to a dirt path that led into the woods. There was something there. I moved closer, trying to get a better look, and as I did, the knot in my stomach grew tighter. I ignored the warning and continued forward, putting one foot in front of the other. I had reached the dirt path and slowly crept closer to the entrance of the woods. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something move, but it was so fast, it was just a blur.

  I stood frozen, holding my breath, too frightened to move.

  I felt a hand on my shoulder.

  I screamed and turned around ready to swing my fist.

  “Whoa! Ella! Chill it’s just me,” Dean said stopping my fist from decking him in the face.

  I put my hand over my racing heart. “You scared the shit out of me!” I took a slow, deep breath, trying to decrease my heart rate.

  “I called your name, but when you didn’t turn around…are you okay?” he asked concerned.

  “Yeah, I thought I saw something. I guess it was nothing,” I said looking back over my shoulder into the empty woods.

  “Lucky for me you don’t pack that hard of a punch. Can’t afford for my pretty face to be damaged.” I rolled my eyes at him and gave him a slight shove. He draped his arm over my shoulder and dragged me to the car.

  “Where’s your partner in crime?” Dean asked.

  “She’s busy getting some guy’s phone number,” I said pointing in the direction of the house.

  “No worries, I’ll save her.” Dean winked at me and jogged up to the house.

  “Dean don’t!” I shouted at him, knowing he had something up his sleeve. I followed him into the house.

  “Josie! There you are!” Dean said acting relieved.

  “Dean?”

  “You know how worried we get when you wander off,” he said to her in a condescending tone.

  Josie looked at Dean confused. “What?”

  “C’mon now, let’s get you back to the hospital so you can take your meds.” Dean slowly started to push Josie out the door.

  “Dean stop it,” Josie said. The guy Josie was talking too looked dumbfounded. “He’s just kidding,” Josie laughed nervously.

  Dean stood behind Josie gesturing and mouthing the words ‘she’s crazy’ to the guy. Josie saw his eyes go wide and she turned to scowl at Dean. Dean just shrugged his shoulders looking innocent. Josie turned back around and the guy was gone. “You're such a dick!” She punched Dean in the arm.

  “Ouch!” he said, pretending she really hurt him and gave a cocky smile.

  Josie stormed toward me huffing and puffing. “You know what your jerk brother just did!” Before I got the chance to speak she continued. “He made that guy think I was crazy.”

  Dean came up behind Josie and put his arm around her. “Chillax little one. I was doing you a favor.”

  “What, saving me from a nice conversation with a cute guy?” She crossed her arms and pouted.

  “He was a douche bag…trust me.”

  “Takes one to know one.”

  “Ouch! That hurt.” Dean put his hand over his heart pretending to be offended. Josie just rolled her eyes and got in the car. She stayed silent the whole ride home.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow,” Josie said when we pulled up to her house. “And Dean, since you scared off my date, I think it’s only fair you take his place. It’s obvious you have the hots for me and acted out of jealousy,” she cooed at him.

  “Sorry to disappoint you, but it was for pure entertainment purposes only. And I don’t play with children, so you’ll have to find someone else on the playground to stalk.”

  “Whatever!” she scoffed and got out of the car.

  “Bye Josie!” I shouted from the passenger side window. She waved back without turning around and went inside.

  I turned and smacked Dean. “What?” he laughed throwing his hands up defensively. I just glared at him as he put the car in drive.

  Glad to be back at our cabin, I went straight upstairs to my room. On my way there I noticed there was a light on in the den. I knew it had to be my dad, so I decided to stop by and say goodnight. I popped my head in the door to see my dad’s face buried in paperwork. “Come in Ella,” he said without even looking up.

  Surprised, I asked, “How did you know it was me?”

  He smiled and looked up. “Parental intuition.”

  I stifled an eye roll. “I’m not disturbing you am I?”

  “No. I need a break. Have a seat.” I sat down in one of the comfy green leather chairs across from his desk. “How was the party?”

  “It was nice.”

  “Were you drinking?” he asked in his fatherly tone.

  “No dad.”

  He eyed me suspiciously. “Let me smell your breath?”

  “Dad!” I said a little annoyed.

  He tried to hide his smile then shifted into his concerned father face. “Is there something bothering you?” he asked giving me his full attention.

  “No, everything’s good.”

  “Ella, you know you can talk to me about anything.”

  “I know.” I twiddled my thumbs contemplating whether or not to tell him about what I may or may not have seen in the woods earlier tonight. I decided against it, concerned how he might react.

  He studied me in my silence and eventually let the topic go. “If there’s nothing else I’m sorry, but I have to get back to this,” he said referring to his paperwork.

  “Oh, sorry.” I stood up to leave.

  “Ella?” I turned around. “I meant what I said. You can tell me anything, even if you think it sounds crazy.” His eyes were intense and serious through the dim glow of his office lamp.

  I smiled, my hand on the door. “Thanks dad.”

  “Get some sleep, it’s late.”

  “Goodnight dad,” I said before closing the door behind me. Once I reached my room I crashed. Too tired to even change or wash off my make-up.

  Chapter three

  Ginger woke me up in the morning, like she always does. “Hey girl,” I said scratching her head. I looked at the clock. It was eight o’clock in the morning. “I wish you could tell time. That way you would know not to wake me up this early on a Saturday,” I groaned, stumbling out of bed.

  I took off my clothes from last night and put on some comfy pants and a tank top. I slid into my slippers and pulled my hair back in a ponytail. After I wiped off what was left of my makeup I went downstairs.

  My mom was already in the kitchen starting breakfast. “Want some help?” I offered making her jump.

  “Goodness Ella, you scared me.”

  “Sorry, didn’t mean to,” I said leaning on the counter.

  “It’s okay sweetie. You can help by setting the table.” And I did just that. Thankfully I didn’t have to wake my brothers this morning.

  After breakfast I helped my mom clean up, then went upstairs to take a shower, but had to wait because Xander was already taking one. I gathered all my toiletries and towel while I waited for Xander to be finished.

  When I he
ard the shower turn off, I picked up my stuff, and stepped out into the hall where I found Dean standing in front of the bathroom door. “What are you doing?” I asked him.

  “Waiting to get in the bathroom.”

  “Oh no you don’t. I’m next.”

  “Ha!” he laughed.

  Xander opened the door, took one look at us, and got out of the way. I charged for the door, but Dean was closer. I managed to get there in enough time to keep him from shutting the door. I pushed with everything I had and he pushed back harder. “Dean!” I screamed and he laughed.

  “Give up Ella!”

  “Never!” I lost my footing and that was enough for Dean to close and lock the door. I pounded and kicked the door, demanding he open it. I could hear him laughing. Then, to piss me off even more, he started humming a tune, acting like he couldn’t hear me.

  I screamed, annoyed.

  “What is going on?” my mom asked.

  “Dean knew I was waiting to get in –”

  She put up her hand to stop me. “Your father is on a very important phone call and is not to be disturbed. So keep your voice down.” I crossed my arms and stomped my foot ready to throw a hissy fit. “You can use our shower,” she said ending the discussion. I picked up all my stuff and went into my parent's bathroom.

  After my shower, I felt a little ridiculous for the way I acted, but I was tired of always being last and taking cold showers.

  I shrugged off the earlier drama and headed back to my room. On my way there I overheard my mom and dad arguing in the den.

  “You Promised Liam!” my mom pleaded.

  “I know, but I have to break that promise.”

  “What about your daughter who leaves for college next week. This weekend was for her, to spend time with her before she left. To make sure she was okay to leave.” My mom was angry.

  “Damn it Jamila I know!” I jumped at the sound of my father’s fist coming down on his desk. “But if I don’t finish this deal we may lose everything.”

  “I don’t care. The only thing I care about is this family.”

  “And so do I. That is why it is so important that I finish this. Do you understand that?” my father said in a low growl.

  “I understand,” she whispered turning to leave.

  I quickly ran to my room and closed the door behind me. I never heard my parents argue like that, especially over me, and what did they mean to make sure I was okay? Did they still think I couldn’t handle going to school? That I’d have a relapse and breakdown? I slowly sat on my bed pondering each thought carefully.

  “Hey Ella?” Xander said interrupting my thoughts.

  “Yeah?”

  “Are you soon ready?” I looked down at myself still in a towel. Crap.

  “Um…give me like fifteen minutes.” I quickly threw on some clothes, minimal makeup, and towel dried my hair. Then I headed downstairs where Xander was waiting.

  “I’m ready!” I shouted jumping off the last step.

  “Yeah, well, Dean’s not.”

  “Ugh!” I groaned plopping down on the couch. “How is he not ready yet? He got in the shower before me. What could possibly take him that long to get ready?”

  “Perfection takes time li’l sis,” Dean said coming up behind me. “Something you should spend more of when you get ready.” He eyed me up and down.

  “Shut up! Where are we going anyway?”

  “To the club,” Xander replied.

  “Really? Why?” I whined. “I hate the club. It’s a bunch of stuck up snobs who only talk about how much money they have.”

  “Now now Ella, stuck up snobs are people too,” Dean said, his thumbs gliding across the keyboard of his blackberry.

  I ignored his comment and turned to Xander. He was pacing nervously back and forth. “What’s taking them so long?” he asked referring to our parents.

  “Xander, relax, what are you wound so tight for?”

  “It’s because he’s late for a date.”

  “Shut up Dean,” Xander said.

  “Wait…what?” I asked.

  “Li’l sis, you really do need to start paying attention,” Dean said finally putting down his phone. “Our big bro here is nervous because he’s finally introducing his girlfriend to his fam.”

  “Since when do you have a girlfriend?” I asked puzzled.

  “Since you started seeing the crazy doctor,” Dean said.

  “Dean!” Xander scolded.

  I bit my lip to keep the tears at bay. It would be an understatement to say I was hurt by Dean’s comment. “Why you have to be such an ass!” Xander said to Dean. I ran up to my room so he wouldn't see me cry.

  “Ella, I was just messin’,” Dean called after me.

  I sat on my bed, clutching one of my pillows tightly to my chest and wiping angrily at the few tears that spilled down my cheek. “Ella?” Dean knocked lightly, pushing the door open.

  “Go away,” I said

  He didn’t. He came in and sat next to me on the bed. “Ella, I’m sorry.”

  “No you’re not and don’t pretend to be,” I spat turning away from him.

  “Look, we all know I’m a dick…”

  “If this is your way of apologizing, please, stop now.”

  “Ella, I’m not good…with this stuff.”

  “Really?” I said sarcastically.

  “My way of dealing is making jokes.”

  “What exactly is it you’re dealing with?”

  Dean looked down and picked at his pants nervously. “After the accident,” he began slowly. “I was really scared.”

  “Scared about what?” I said finally turning to face him.

  “Scared of what would happen to you. Scared you might not recover mentally and we’d lose you forever.”

  “I really wish people would stop acting like I’m going to freak out or something.”

  “We just worry about you El. You don’t know what it was like for us to watch you suffer like that. If only you could have seen what we saw.”

  “What you saw?” I snapped, appalled, standing up from the bed. “How about what I saw. You have no idea what I’ve seen. I saw my boyfriend burn alive. I’m sorry that I can’t get that mental image out of my head. That my nightmares, my screams in the night, put a drain on you. Please forgive me!” I yelled.

  “Ella! That’s not what I meant.”

  “Then please explain it to me,” I cried, crossing my arms over my chest to keep them from shaking.

  “Just forget it.” Dean got up from the bed and walked to the door, then stopped. I turned to look out the window, not wanting to look at him. “It’s just…I don’t know what you’re going through. I couldn’t begin to imagine what it’s like and I don’t want to. I’m sorry this happened to you…” He paused momentarily while searching for what to say.

  “I wish it hadn’t and I wish I could take away your pain, but I can’t. The only thing I can do is tell you I love you and hope you’ll be okay.”

  “That’s all I need,” I said, my back still turned. Not able to hold it back anymore, I buried my head in my hands, and started to cry. He walked over to me, turned me around, and gave me a hug while I cried on his shoulder.

  “I’m sorry Ella. I promise I’ll try real hard not to be a dick.”

  “Good look with that,” I said, pulling my head back.

  “Now look who’s got jokes.” I shoved him. “Alright, enough of this.” Dean straightened himself out and dusted off his shirt. “You might want to fix your face. You’re looking a bit ragged.”

  I picked up my pillow and threw it at his head. “Hey! Watch the hair,” he said putting up his hands to fix it. Then he smiled at me and I just laughed as I walked over to the mirror to fix my now gone mascara. When I was done I took the stairs two at a time and hopped off the last one joining the rest of the family in the living room where everyone was waiting for me. Xander rushed us out the door in a hurry to get to the club.

  I ran into Josie when we got there. �
��Hey Josie, what you doin’?”

  “Ugh…taking my bratty brother to the pool. My mom is on one of her ‘business lunches,’ ” she gestured using air quoted. “Business lunch” was her mom’s code for sitting around gossiping and getting drunk. “Wanna come swimming with us?”

  “Um…maybe later. I have to meet Xander’s new girlfriend.”

  “Alright, you know where I’ll be. Come find me then.”

  I said goodbye to Josie and joined the rest of my family at our table taking notice that Xander’s girlfriend had already joined the group. “Ah…Ella,” Xander began, “this is Jasa. Jasa, this is my sister, Ella.”

  “Hi,” I said shaking her hand and she smiled pleasantly at me. She wasn’t someone I would have pictured Xander with. He normally went for the “plain Jane.”

  Jasa was anything but. She was exquisitely beautiful, with long, blond, wavy hair, an athletic figure, and the most unique eyes. They were gold with violet flecks, something I’ve never seen before. They were almost mesmerizing.

  She was wearing a very expensive designer dress and high heels to match. Without the heels she would have probably reached Xander’s chest. You could say that about most people because Xander was very tall.

  My mom instantly struck up a conversation with Jasa. While I tried to listen attentively, Dean – like always – was too busy to draw his attention away from his blackberry. My mom scolded him with her eyes and with a sigh he put the phone away.

  I could tell Xander really liked this girl. The way he watched her as she talked, praising her for all her achievements. Like my mom, she had done extensive charity work in orphanages and shelters. My mom asked her about her background, where she came from, what were her plans for the future, which really meant: What are your plans with my son?

  Jasa told us she was an only child. Her parents died when she was young and she spent most of her life in an orphanage. The orphanage was what made her want to start doing charity work and with that she ended up getting a scholarship for school.