The Wanderers Beginning: The Wanderers, Reborn, & Unforgiven

by Jessica Miller

“Ella, it's not that far. I'll go first.” Before I could protest again he was already swinging his legs over the side and descending. It happened so quick that if I would have blinked I would have missed it.

  “Tristan!” I called out. It was hard seeing anything through the downpour of rain.

  “Your turn,” he called up. I looked over the edge again and was able to make him out enough to see he was on the fire escape. How he did that with such ease I have no idea.

  “Tristan, I don't think I can do this,” I called down nervously over the pounding of the rain.

  “Just jump. I'll catch you,” he said, holding his arms up.

  Yeah, easier said than done.

  I climbed up on the ledge and swung my legs over the side. “You promise you'll catch me?”

  “I promise I will not let you fall,” he said. I closed my eyes putting my faith in Tristan. I let out a tiny shriek as I pushed off the ledge. Tristan caught me in his arms as promised. “You can open your eyes now,” he chuckled.

  “Right,” I blushed as he put me down gently.

  “Be careful,” he warned. “It's going to be slippery.” I kept myself pressed close to the wall as Tristan and I cautiously made our way down the fire escape. Once we were safely on the ground, we made a mad dash for the truck. Inside the refuge of the truck and out of the treacherous rain, we turned to each other and started to crack up laughing. “Well that was unexpected.”

  I smiled. The way he was looking at me made my stomach do that flip flop thing. “What?” I asked, teeth chattering.

  He brushed aside a wet piece of hair making me shiver. “You cold?” I nodded unable to stop shaking. He started the truck blasting the heat. I held my hands out in front of the vents trying to warm them. It was almost no use. I was drenched head to toe. Tristan reached behind him and grabbed a blanket from the back seat. He helped wrap the blanket around me for warmth.

  “You totally looked up my dress when I was coming down the ladder, didn't you?”

  He smiled bashfully. “No. I did not,” he said, looking away.

  “Liar,” I teased.

  “I should get us back.” He said, putting the truck in drive.

  I couldn't fight my chills on the way back. I pulled the blanket tighter around me noticing a dark spot on the corner. I pulled the stain closer to examine it. It was dark so it was hard to tell for sure, but from what I gathered, it was more than I wanted to know. “Is this blood?” I asked, looking at Tristan uncertain.

  “No, of course not,” he replied to easily.

  I wasn't so sure and I couldn't let it go. “Yes it is. Why do you have a giant blood stain on this?” The moment it left my lips I knew I said too much. I started to get an unsettling feeling in my stomach.

  Tristan pulled the truck over to the side of the road and spun around in his seat. His eyes went dark when he said, “There is no blood spot on that blanket.”

  I felt dizzy all of a sudden. He kept his eyes on mine making my head spin. I sat back into the seat and stared out the window confused. It was almost like I lost a lapse of time. I wasn't sure what just happened. I turned to Tristan. “Why are we stopped?” I didn't even remember him pulling over.

  He sank back in his seat, wearing a grim expression. “You asked me to pull over,” he said, keeping his eyes forward.

  “I did?” He nodded stiffly. “Why did I do that?”

  “You said you didn't feel good.”

  “Oh, well, I'm okay now,” I said confused. Without another word, Tristan put the truck in drive, and pulled back onto the road.

  Tristan kept quiet on the way back and I wondered what went wrong. I remember laughing and then him telling me I felt sick. The more I thought about it the more my head hurt. I stole a glance at him every now and then. He had a pained expression making me think I had done or said something wrong, but the hard part was, I couldn't recall anything. I let it go, not wanting to add major headache to my repertoire of ailments.

  The rain had let up by the time we got back to the dorms. Tristan helped me out of the truck and escorted me back to my room. I hadn't realized I was still holding the blanket he gave me. I took it off and handed it back to him. He flinched for a second, but then took it. “Thank you,” I said. “I had a nice time tonight,” I told him, surprised by my own confession.

  “Me too.” He gave me a small smile, but it seemed forced.

  “I'll see you around?” He nodded and I couldn't get rid of this feeling that I did something wrong. I gently tugged on his shirt sleeve. When he was close enough I stood on my tiptoes and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. “Goodnight Tristan,” I whispered.

  He gave me a genuine smile this time and rested his hand on the wall just above my head. He leaned in closer, lifting my chin with his free hand, and pressed the sweetest kiss on my lips, ridding me of any negative thoughts that something was wrong. The kiss was so soft and tender I thought I might break him if I pushed back. I opened my eyes to see the first real smile he had ever shown me. I bit my bottom lip feeling the heat rise all the way from the tips of my toes to the top of my ears. “Goodnight, la mia bella stella,” he whispered before he turned away to his room.

  I jostled with the door handle having a hard time getting it open. When I finally did, I dashed into the room and quickly shut the door behind me. I touched my lips still feeling the rush of his kiss. I never wanted this feeling to go away. I twirled and danced my way to my bed falling back and giggling like a school girl who had her first crush. I sighed throwing my arms back. “I am in so much trouble,” I said to myself.

  Chapter twelve

  When I woke in the morning I had the worst headache. I felt like I did the first weekend I arrived when I was hung-over. Leave it to Tristan to manage to make me feel this way again. I sat up slowly and made my way to my dresser to search for some aspirin. “Hey Josie,” I called out. When I didn't receive an answer, I craned my neck to look over my shoulder only now noticing she wasn't here. I scratched my head confused looking around for clues as to where she was.

  My search was brief due to the wrapping on the door. I opened it to find Tristan on the other side. He was dressed as usual, his hair the normal messy arrangement, and smelling ever so deliciously good. I looked back over my shoulder at my clock that read seven am. “What are you doing up this early?”

  I could feel him gawking. His eyes lingered longer then they should have. I stepped further behind the door trying to keep myself covered. “I thought I'd take you to breakfast,” he offered with a smile. He leaned up against the door frame, one leg crossed over the other. I could tell he was trying to get a better look at me through the door. I wouldn't have cared, but I was in my pajamas, and no bra.

  “I'm sorry,” I said. “I think I'm going to sleep in a little longer. I kind of have a headache.”

  “You don't look so well, are you okay?” he asked a little concerned.

  “Yeah, just a headache,” I said. “Did I...did I drink last night?” I was almost positive I didn't, but it was the only reasonable explanation for this headache.

  “Not while you were with me,” he said, frowning. “Are you sure you're okay? You look kind of pale.”

  “I'll be fine. Just need some rest,” I assured him and closed the door. The longer I stood the worst my headache got. I felt guilty for abruptly ending the conversation, but the bright lights were blinding. My vision started to get blurry as my head started to spin. I slipped and knocked my books off my desk producing a loud thump. “Ella, are you alright?” I heard Tristan call. I knew if I just made it to my bed I would be fine. I pushed off my desk forcing my legs to work. “Ella?” Tristan knocked.

  I took a step on shaky legs and collapsed onto the floor.

  I hadn't realized I had blacked out until I opened my eyes to see a troubled Josie and Tristan standing over me. I lifted my hand to my head and felt a damp wash cloth. “Here,” Josie said, handing me two pills and a glass of water.

  “What happened?” Tristan asked. C
oncern plagued his expression. I looked up and noticed the dismantled door. There was a large splinter in the middle and it was barely hanging on by one of the hinges. He followed the direction of my eyes and turned around looking guilty. “Uh, sorry about that,” he bowed his head. “I kicked it down when you didn't respond.”

  I nodded slowly. Tristan sat patiently while he waited for my answer as to why he found me passed out. Josie pushed the pills at me again and I took them knowing well what happened. “I had a bad migraine,” I told him.

  “Ella that was more than a migraine, you were passed out cold on the floor when I found you. You weren't responding. If Josie hadn't stopped me I would have taken you to the hospital,” he said, shaken up.

  “I told him it was probably just a migraine and you'd be fine and you'd be pissed off if he took you to the emergency room,” Josie said, narrowing her eyes at him.

  “How was I supposed to know?” he said, glaring back at Josie. Clearly there was something I missed.

  “I'm sorry you had to see that, but Josie is right. This is something I've been dealing with since I was little. It happens, no big deal,” I shrugged used to it. I've already been to countless doctors who tried to figure out what was wrong. Every single one said they found nothing. And that unfortunately I would have to suffer from time to time with a migraine so blindingly painful that I would pass out. Nothing they could do except recommend extra strength aspirin. None of the prescription migraine medicine worked.

  Tristan didn't seem so confident about it being no big deal. “I promise. I'm fine and thank you, for, um, helping me. I probably would have had a killer kink in my neck if I was still on the floor,” I said trying to joke, hoping he would relax a little.

  He gave me a small smile, but I knew it was forced. “I'll have your door fixed,” he looked away contemplating what he should do. “I guess I should let you rest.” He stood and left without another word.

  “Holy crap,” Josie said, once he was gone. “Do you see that door? I didn't think Tristan had it in him. Man that had to be one powerful kick. Must have been some date,” she winked. I rolled my eyes and took another sip of water. “Are you really okay?” I could tell Josie was trying to play it off like everything was fine, but underneath she was worried.

  “Yeah Josie, I'm good now.”

  “I'll let you get some rest, but as soon as you wake up I want details,” she said.

  “That'll be hard to do with no door,” I replied.

  “Maybe you could sleep in Tristan's room,” she said with a smirk.

  “Uh-no, I think I'll just get ready for class.” I stood up and carefully made my way to my dresser.

  “Ella, I really think you should just rest. You still don't look so good.”

  “Josie, I'll be fine. This isn't something that I haven't already dealt with a million times. Really, it's all good.”

  It took me a little more convincing Josie I would be okay despite the fact that I still felt like shit. I managed to get dressed and make it to my first class, barely. I found Jack sitting in the back at our usual spot. “Here, I got you some coffee,” he said handing me the cup. “You look like you could use it, too.”

  “Thanks,” I said, graciously taking the cup.

  “You okay? You look kind of run down.”

  “Thanks,” I said, sarcastically.

  “I don't mean you look bad. I just mean, you know, you don't look so good,” he stuttered. His attempt at correcting himself was a miserable fail and made me feel worse.

  “I'm fine. Just had a real bad headache this morning,” was my only reply. I wasn't in the mood to go into details. Jack let it go sensing I wasn't going to give him any more information. I could tell by the look on his face he regretted saying anything at all.

  Jack followed me to our next classes as normal and offered only minimal conversation. I was thankful for that since my early morning debacle was still weighing heavily on my mind. I felt like crap and wasn't in the mood to engage with anyone.

  Tristan wasn't in Art today and I was surprised how his absence made me miss him. I started to feel woozy towards the end of class. I thought it be best if I went back to my dorm and rest for a while. When I returned, our door was fixed as promised. I threw my books on my desk and crashed on my bed. I slept all day and into the night. I woke up around midnight with the horrible feeling of being watched, but when I opened my eyes and searched my room, the only thing I found was Josie sleeping soundly on her bed. I lay back down and pulled the covers up over my head. I had a hard time falling asleep after that. I couldn't shake this feeling of someone watching me.

  By morning I was exhausted. My skin looked shallow and ghostly white. I tried my best to hide my under eye circles with concealer, but I still felt and looked like the walking dead. I fought the urge to stay in bed all day again and went to class. Tristan was absent again today and I was starting to wonder what was going on? I decided I would stop by his room afterwards and find out for myself.

  When I reached his room I heard music and several different voices. I knocked on his door and got no answer. I figured he couldn't hear over the music so I pounded harder. I was surprised when a girl answered and mortified at the fact that she opened the door in her underwear. “Can I help you?” she asked kindly, despite the fact that I was obviously interrupting something.

  “Um, is Tristan here,” I said, almost wishing I didn't bother. But I had to know what was going on. I wasn't going to jump to conclusions until I knew for sure.

  She pulled the door open looking over her shoulder. “Tristan, you have a visitor.”

  “Whatever you're selling I don't want any,” he slurred.

  I peeked my head in the door and spotted his arm hanging off the side of his bed clutching a bottle. Through further investigation I discovered he too was half naked. He had on no shirt, with pants that were unbuttoned at the top. I sucked in a breath not believing what I was seeing. He sat up and the look in his eyes told me this was not meant for me to discover. A second later he played it off like it was no big deal. “Ella,” he said cheerily. “You've come to join us?”

  “Are you drunk?” I asked appalled.

  He held up his half empty bottle and took a swig. “Not yet,” he smiled cockily at me. I looked at him and back at the girl, eyes blazing. I felt like I had just gotten punched in the chest. To make matters worse, another girl sat up from the bed.

  “I already donated to The Make a Wish foundation last week at the grocery store,” she said, sliding her hand up Tristan's chest. I shook my head and laughed humorlessly. He removed the girls hand from his chest expressing disinterest. His face was hard. I turned around and went straight back to my room without a comment.

  “Ella wait!” Tristan called. “It's not what you think.”

  I spun around so fast he jumped back in surprise. “Let me guess, all their clothes magically fell off?” I said sarcastically. “Studying for an anatomy project?” I could tell he was getting ready for some bullshit excuse. I put up my hand to stop him. “It doesn't matter. I don't care. Really it's no big deal.” He looked at me unclear. “I mean c'mon Tristan. It was just one date. You don't have to explain anything to me. You're free to do whatever, or should I say whoever, you want.”

  He leaned up against the wall and looked me over. I crossed my arms over my chest. “I see the ice queen has returned,” he smiled. I glared at him for his comment. His expression changed instantly. If I didn't know any better, the expression on his face looked like he had just walked in on me with someone else.

  “See you around,” I said casually and turned to open my door. I stopped and looked back over my shoulder for one more retort. “That is if you're not afraid of your heart turning cold from being around an ice queen.” With those final words I left him in the hall speechless.

  I closed my door behind me and let out a harsh breath. I'd be lying to myself if I didn't admit I was hurt. At the same time I wasn't surprised which just made it all that much worse. I was
n't sure who I was more disappointed in, myself or Tristan. I let myself feel something and now I was paying the price.

  Instead of letting my emotions get the best of me, I thought I'd go for a run. I threw on some sweats and sneakers. Tied my hair in a tight ponytail and took off to the exit. With my headphones plugged in and music blaring, I took off in a sprint. My feet pounded the pavement hard. I wasn't a runner. The only time I ever ran was when I was required to in gym class, but I needed the air. I needed to work out my frustration. I needed to get as far away as I could and running was my safest and fastest option.

  I made it only a half mile before my legs started to cramp up. I stopped and bent over, hands on knees. I was gasping for breath. I fell against the closest tree and wiped the sweat from my brow. “Okay, so maybe running wasn't the best idea,” I told myself while still trying to catch my breath. I slid down until my butt hit the ground. I leaned back against the rough bark and closed my eyes. I sat there for a while, just listening to the different sounds of nature.

  Once I felt relaxed and calm, I opened my eyes to find the sun setting. Holy crap, how long was I here? I stood up and brushed the dirt from my pants. I think the only thing I accomplished was reminding myself how much of an athlete I was not. I hadn't realized how far I actually gotten until on the walk back. I was only half way there and the sun had already set. It was night now and the air was still, giving the atmosphere that creepy vibe. The streets were deserted and the only sound was the cricket’s song.

  I got the strangest feeling of another presence. I stopped and looked behind me.

  Nothing.

  I continued walking.

  I couldn't shake the feeling that someone was lurking nearby. I wasn't far from the dorms, but I picked up my pace not wanting to be out at night alone. I took a risk and looked over my shoulder. I didn't see anything. I heard a rustling behind a tree and quickened my step. I wasn't looking where I was going and slammed right into someone. I screamed.

  “Ella?”