The Wanderers Beginning: The Wanderers, Reborn, & Unforgiven

by Jessica Miller

  “Okay,” he said, swallowing the lump in his throat. We walked the rest of the way in silence.

  When we got to my room, I unlocked the door, and let him in. My eyes widened when I caught sight of one of my bras on the floor from my rush to get ready this morning. I causally, but quickly walked over and kicked it under my bed hoping Roman didn’t notice. The smile on his face told me he did. I narrowed my eyes at him and his smile faded. “You wanted to talk?” I said, hoping to get this over with. The longer I stood alone with him the harder it was for me to focus on anything else but his lips.

  “Right,” he said, clearing his throat, indicating he was nervous. “Do you want to sit down?”

  “No. I rather stand,” I said, thinking that was safer.

  “So um…I wanted to talk to you because I…” he paused, running a shaky hand through his hair. “Well, as you know I took a break from training.”

  “Because of your schoolwork,” I said, testing him.

  “Yes, because I was falling behind.”

  “You’re so full of shit,” I said before I could stop myself. Now that it was out, I felt the need to let him have it. There was no need to hold anything back. My mouth tended to have a mind of its own anyways. “You could miss your assignments for a month and still have the third highest GPA. So cut the crap and tell the truth. I find it hard to believe this is what you wanted to talk to me about, really?”

  He looked up at me eyes glaring. “It is the truth. Yes I have the grades but it’s not easy for me to keep them. I have to work a lot harder than everyone else and yes I was falling behind so I needed to take a break. I just wanted you to know so you didn’t think –” he broke off not able to finish his sentence, but I already had a feeling of what he was going to say. When I glared at him his expression changed. “And what about you? You come at me wanting the truth when you’re the one with all the secrets,” he spat.

  “Sorry if my personal life is none of your god damn business. And if that’s all it was then why did you wait so long to tell me?”

  “Because I…I…” he stammered.

  “God Roman, just spit it out. Please don’t hold back on my account. You never have before,” I said, annoyed at him jumping back and forth.

  “Fine. It’s you. Happy now!” he said, throwing his arms up frustrated.

  “Me?” I said, misinterpreting his meaning. “You’re the one with all the issues, clearly.”

  “Wow, you don’t get it do you?”

  “Why don’t you make it real simple and clarify it for me then,” I said, needing a real answer I could understand.

  He laughed like I was the crazy one. “I’ve never seen anyone with more problems than you.”

  I scoffed. How did this conversation get so turned around? “My only problem is you!” I yelled. “I never met anyone who has more personalities than you do. I mean, really Roman. What is it that I’ve done to you for you to be so angry at me all the time?”

  “You’re one to talk. You’re so hot and cold around me all the time I don’t know how to act!” he argued back.

  “Well maybe that’s because of the way you treat me. One day you’re Mr. nice guy and the next you’re an asshole! And for no reason. And quit turning this back on me because you’re to chicken shit to admit the truth.”

  “Well maybe if you would stop attacking me all the time,” he said.

  “I wouldn’t have to kick your ass if you weren’t such a jerk. Did you ever think it was you,” I said, taking a step closer to him, challenging him.

  “Well maybe if you didn’t drive me crazy all the time,” he growled frustrated.

  “I drive you crazy?” I laughed. “Seriously, what the hell do you want from me?” I cried, getting in his face. I was so frustrated with this conversation and the fact that it was getting nowhere was making me want to scream.

  Roman closed the distance between us in one swift step. His dark blue eyes bored down into mine. “I’ll tell you what I want.” He grabbed my arms and I flinched. Then he surprised me by kissing me. His lips came crushing down on mine so hard and so fast I lost my breath. He kissed me with such force I thought I was going to pass out. He pulled back gasping. I stood there, panting. “You’re not going to hit me again, are you?”

  “No,” I smiled, grabbing his shirt and pulling him back to me. I slipped my hands up around his neck wanting him to be closer, wanting to feel the power of the kiss. When I kissed him I felt like my body was on fire. There was a passion burning deep down and when he kissed me, I thought I was going to burst into flames.

  His tongue glided over my lips. I opened a little wider allowing him access to explore. His tongue slipped inside my mouth and it took all I had to keep standing. His fingers pinched the sides of my hips as he drew me closer to him. I jumped and wrapped my legs around his waist as he glided his hands down to my backside. I ran my fingers through his hair as he kissed me passionately. Roman took a few steps toward the bed and then threw me down, jumping on top of me. My mind was so fuzzy I could barely comprehend what was going on, but I didn’t care. All I knew was it felt good and I didn’t want it to stop.

  Roman slid his hand under my shirt and cupped my breast while he kissed my neck. I pulled him closer, wanting to feel his body on top of mine. I tore off his shirt, needing to feel the heat from his skin. I ran my lips over every inch of his bare chest causing his breath to come heavily. He pushed me down and ripped open my blouse, exposing my chest, making buttons fly everywhere.

  I never wanted someone more than I wanted him right now.

  He started to kiss me again. My body was burning from his touch. His hand got hot, like really hot. “Ow!” I yelped.

  “What is it?” Roman pulled back, concern written all over his face.

  “My skin, it feels like it’s on fire.” He smiled cockily and leaned in to kiss me again. I pushed him back. “No I mean like literally burning,” I said, my face pained.

  He pulled back and looked at me. Then he quickly removed his hand from my side to reveal a burn mark in the shape of a hand print. “Holy shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to,” he said, sincerely sorry and upset. “That’s never happened before.”

  “It’s okay. I know you didn’t.” He leaned over to get a closer look when I heard a key turning in the lock. I panicked and quickly jumped up knocking Roman off of me.

  “Hey Billy,” I heard someone say, stopping him from continuing to unlock the door.

  I grabbed Roman’s shirt and quickly shoved him in the bathroom. Then realizing I was still topless, I opened up the closet and threw on a shirt, closing the door just as Billy walked in.

  “Oh, hey Ella. Sorry, didn’t know you’d be here.”

  “Don’t be sorry. I was just dropping off some books,” I said.

  “Are you okay? You look a little flushed.”

  “Me, oh I’m fine. It’s just a little warm in here.”

  His face told me he didn’t agree. “Are you feeling well? You’re not getting sick are you?” He pressed his hand to my forehead. “Ella, you’re burning up. Here, I got some medicine in the bathroom.”

  “No!” I yelled as he put his hand on the door knob. He turned and looked at me funny. “I just…you’re right I’m not feeling well. I think it was something I ate so you probably don’t want to go in there, for a little while at least,” I said, wanting to kick myself.

  I could tell he was trying to keep the disgusted look from his face. “Okay, well, I’ll let you rest then.”

  “Okay,” I said, trying not to pass out from embarrassment.

  He grabbed a few things and stuffed them in his bag. “Hope you feel better,” he said, bolting out of the room.

  I dropped my face in my hands, shaking my head. “You can come out now,” I told Roman.

  “Who was that?” he asked with a scowl on his face. “And why does he have a key to your room?”

  “That was Billy and he has a key because he’s my guardian,” I said.

  “I
s he that guy that caused the riot in the dining hall?” I nodded. “Why do you have a guardian? Are you like, royalty or something,” he joked.

  Not wanting to divulge too much information I simply said, “My dad is just a little overprotective.”

  He mulled over that information for a bit before he asked, “How’s your side?” I lifted my shirt just enough to expose the burn mark. “It doesn’t look too bad, but you should definitely put something on it.”

  “I’m not worried about it, besides, I’m a fast healer,” I smiled. He still looked at me concerned. “It doesn’t hurt. Really I’ll be fine.” I knew he let it go for the sake of not starting another argument. We both stood there not sure where to go from here.

  When he didn’t offer up any conversation I decided to speak first. “So, um, what –”

  “Okay, I guess I should explain,” he said interrupting me.

  “That would probably be a good start.”

  “Right, so I originally wanted to apologize for kissing you like that, the first time,” he blushed.

  “A little late on the delivery wouldn’t you say?”

  “Well you’re not that easy to talk to you know,” he said, narrowing his eyes at me.

  “Me? What about you? Every time I approach you I feel like I have to with caution like I’m approaching a wild dog,” I said, feeling my anger rise.

  “Well maybe that’s because –” he stopped and took a breath. “We are getting off track here.”

  “Right, sorry. What were we talking about?”

  “I was trying to apologize for kissing you but then we started arguing and one thing lead to another,” he smiled at the memory. I blushed and turned away.

  “I don’t really know how to explain…that,” I said. “I mean one minute we’re arguing and the next we’re kissing? That’s crazy right?”

  He grabbed my hand and turned me to face him. He paused for a second to look into my eyes. “Yes and…no,” he said, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, making my whole body shiver. I stepped back out of reach, afraid I might jump him again. I knew he took my reaction as a bad thing. “Look, it’s no big deal,” he shrugged. “We can just chalk it up to crazy teenage hormones,” he winked. “No reason to be awkward around each other wondering how to act.”

  Right, because that would be different from any other time.

  “Exactly, no big deal,” I said.

  “Good, glad we’re on the same page,” he said.

  “Yeah,” I said a little disappointed.

  “Okay, I’ll see ya,” he said, playfully punching me on the arm and taking off, leaving me standing there more clueless than ever. I closed the door behind him and slid down to the floor. What did I just do? I slapped myself in the forehead, mentally going over what just happened. I just made out with Roman and liked it, a lot. So much I wanted to run down the hall and drag him back here. Then I thought for a second, was this…was this another spell? No, I shook my head. This was different. I could feel it. The way I felt when I kissed Roman was completely different than when I kissed Aidan. So what the hell did all this mean?

  I glanced at the clock and saw I had five minutes before my next class. I didn’t have time to deliberate about the Roman debacle now or I’d be late for class. I forced myself to get up, grabbed my books, and hoped I’d make it in time for class.

  I couldn’t concentrate the rest of the day. I couldn’t stop thinking about Roman and his lips. The way they felt on mine, the hunger, the burning. I got called out several times by my teachers for not paying attention and even Riley gave me a few funny looks. I even got my ass kicked in self-defense. I knew Roman was watching which didn’t make it any better.

  At dinner, Billy told me he told Gabe I wasn’t feeling well and that Gabe said I could have today and tomorrow to rest and get better. Even though it was a lie, I was thankful for the time off. I shot Roman a quick glance when he sat down at the end of the table. When he met my gaze, he winked, and smiled at me. I rolled my eyes even though I could feel my cheeks burning. Cameron looked at me with her brows scrunched. Making me think she caught the small exchange between Roman and I. “What?” I asked, feeling uncomfortable under her scrutinizing stare.

  She looked back at Roman whose mouth was full of food and talking to his buddies. Then she looked back at me and said, “Nothing.” I went back to my dinner as if nothing happened.

  Just as I was about to get ready for bed there was a knock on my door. I opened it to discover Roman. Surprised I said, “Hey.”

  “Hey,” he said, standing there. I raised my brows waiting for him to say something else. “I got you something.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small white tube and handed it to me. I looked at him funny. “It’s burn crème.”

  “Oh,” I blushed. “Thank you.” Not sure what else to say, I stood there; wondering if there was something else.

  “Do you uh…wanna take a walk?” Roman asked nervously.

  Surprised by his unexpected invitation, I managed to spit out, “Um, yeah. Just let me grab my coat.” I slipped on some shoes and a jacket, then I stepped out of my room, closing and locking the door behind me. He gestured for me to follow him. We walked side by side down the hall and out the back door to the back of the building. I shivered from the cold air, wishing I brought gloves and a scarf, and maybe even a hat or – my thoughts were disrupted when Roman cupped my face and started to kiss me.

  Surprised at his abruptness I pulled back. “Sorry,” he said.

  “I…oh what the hell,” I said, grabbing him and kissing him so hard we fell back against the building. He pulled me tighter into him taking pleasure in the kiss. Despite the chill outside I found myself warming up very quickly. I slipped my hands around his waist and up under his shirt making him jump back. “What is it?” I asked worried.

  “Your hands are really cold,” he laughed.

  “Oh, sorry.”

  “Here.” He held out his hands for mine.

  I placed my hands on top of his, feeling a tingling sensation, then warmth. “Thank you,” I whispered. I slid my hands underneath his shirt again and placed them on his lower back pulling him close to me. We stayed outside for a half hour kissing. I kissed him until I could no longer feel my toes. I pulled back trying to catch my breath. “I think we should head back inside,” I said. He looked at me like he did something wrong. “I can’t feel my toes anymore,” I smiled, letting him know it wasn’t him.

  “Oh,” he said, smiling back at me. He took my hand and led me back into the building.

  When we reached my floor, I stopped before entering my hall. “I think this is where we should part ways,” I said and he looked at me funny. “It’s just…well this is…” I paused looking for the right words not wanting to hurt his feelings. “What are we doing, exactly? I mean, what is this? You ask me to go for a walk and the next thing I know we’re kissing again.”

  He brushed a piece of hair off of my cheek. “I like kissing you,” he smiled, giving me a sweet kiss.

  “I like kissing you too,” I said, returning the kiss.

  “Well, since we both like kissing each other, I think we should continue.” He slid his hand behind my neck and leaned in.

  I pulled back. “As much as I hate to admit that I do enjoy this. If this is something that maybe we decide to keep doing, I just think we should keep it between ourselves,” I said, biting my lip, hoping I hadn’t offended him.

  “Right.” He let go of me. The way he said it made me think he didn’t agree, but was going along with it. “Makes sense, I just broke up with Mackenzie and well, we’re just…” he left the question open for me to answer.

  “We’re two people who like kissing each other,” I said, hoping that was the right answer.

  “Yeah, totally. Just two people who find comfort in each other’s lips,” he smiled cockily. He put a hand on the wall and leaned dangerously close to me. He picked up a small strand of my hair and twirled it around his finger. “You know, if you
want, I could come back to your room and help you warm up,” he winked.

  I pushed him back. “Nice try, but I’m still healing from the last time.”

  “It was worth a shot,” he shrugged. “See you tomorrow,” he said, stealing a quick kiss. I pulled him back, wanting it to last a little longer.

  “Okay, now you can go.”

  “But I wasn’t done,” he smiled, moving in for more.

  I heard a door open. “Okay, now you really need to go,” I whispered, pushing him back. He stole a few more kisses before I pushed him away, shaking my head.

  I felt like I was flying on a cloud. I floated back to my room. Once inside, I changed into my pajamas, and snuggled into my warm bed. It only took a few minutes before I fell into a deep sleep. I woke up in the morning feeling great. I slept through the night peacefully – no nightmares, no tossing and turning, no nothing. It was just a perfect, restful night.

  I sat up and stretched my arms above my head smiling. I hopped out of bed and changed for class. “You look like you’re feeling better,” Billy said as I came out of the bathroom.

  “Oh yes, much better,” I said, unable to unscrew the smile from my face.

  “Well good. I’ll be sure to tell Gabe you’ll be ready for training tomorrow.” My smile faded. I knew Gabe had planned on upping the intensity of my workouts to help prepare me for the battle ahead. Not sure what I dreaded more, the possibility of going up against Jack again or the ass kicking I was going to get from Gabe over the next few weeks. Both were to be debated. At least I had a day off to relax.

  I was one of the first to arrive in my history class. I took my normal seat in the back and took out my books. When I looked up I saw Roman. I tried hard to keep the smile from my face. When he saw me, he came right over, and took a seat next to me. “What are you doing?” I asked, looking around even though we were the only two in there.

  “Do you have training today?” he asked.

  “No,” I said nervously. I didn’t like the idea of people seeing us together and starting rumors.